Flower boy's blog

I've jerked off to some fucked up shit, like really graphic, really fucked scenarios, mostly written

I feel like shit afterwards and wonder what's wrong with me

It's not the only stuff I jerk off to though, I mostly jerk off to very "vanilla" stuff, and I still feel like ass afterwards

My partner is very proactive when we speak sexually, but I've grown uncomfortable with sexting, that is also the main reason I don't post here anymore, sexting also makes me feel weird and uncomfortable and shitty

I don't have an issue with all things erotic, I think consuming fucked up written porn and engaging in negative self talk when I'm horny contributed to it

I never expected I'd get so freaked out by being sexually attractive

I'm sad(? I guess(?

just like. you dont need to do that actually. like it IS bad for women and its good to acknowledge that but you actually don't need to treat the possibility of caring about a man or men as a group as feminist kryptonite. its actually reflective of the deeper problem which is tied to oppositional sexism & how that is used as a tool (alongside many other tools) to prevent inter-gender solidarity and revolution.

women are not getting liberated without men & vice-versa & its just annoying how even when people are talking about how heterofatalism isn't good feminism, they still have to make sure to clarify to everyone that they don't care about men, they would never imply that men's feelings matter at all, which. i just think is not actually healthy for feminism. not because every individual needs to personally feel xyz about men.

its the implicit gender segregration. men and women are two entirely different groups, and i am going to convince you skeptics that this idea is feminist by engaging in oppositional sexism and showing that i can be anti-"men ain't shit" but in a way which never implies that there is any connective human tissue between men and women. "this is solely about how this hurts women & femmes" which of course is a group entirely distinct from men & mascs (an idea that should be on its face inane, because femmes should logically include femmes of all genders including men, right? otherwise, what the fuck is the goddamn term for????????)

if i had my way everyone would have to read the essay Collective Turn Off by Sophie Lewis before engaging in conversations around this. cause she has the guts and conviction in her feminist understanding to use the term misandry and get into the muck of women's feelings about men and call out how misandry always ends up hurting trans people, all trans people. that is what makes this conversation productive.