floral-reef

my favorite thing about the mystery genre is that we all accept the concept of "world famous detective" without hesitation even though that is absolutely not a real category of celebrity

If I say “aww look at the birds” n you say “they’re just sparrows” I’m killing you. Find beauty in nature or else.

this is the kind of log you find in a video game where each progressive log you pick up throughout the area gradually becomes more incoherent and deranged before you face them as a boss gone mad with eldritch knowledge

the name "theresa" is so funny like. theres a what

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

if hello kitty was real we would be bestfriends

me n u or u n hello kitty ?

me and you

cat: I will just hang out on your lap now me: yay cat: I have brought ten knives

Who Here Believe In Vanpires

Dacula

Dacula

Dacula

they should bring back the cane that swoops people off stage. this would be positive for society

ah shit they're gaining on us. we gotta jettison some weight. throw all those stolen boomerangs out we don't need em

On it, boss!

Bad news, boss!

Sometimes you're gonna see a really stupid post and you're gonna have to keep your mouth shut online but you can always say "Shut the fuck up dumb fuck" out loud, they can't hear you when you do that.

I have a little plastic cap gun revolver next to my computer and when I see a really bad post I take it out and I shoot the post