The Mahact Ying-Sorcerer

dramatically doubles over and coughs into my fist really hard.. no dont worry ill be fine i just miss my girlfriend abit..

takes one step before stumbling and falling over.. you can see blood streaking my hand and i look deathly pale.. heh.. looks like i missed her more than i thought.. youll have to go on without me kid..

TRUE HATERS, SINCE DAY 1 THEY HAVENT BEEN GIVING THEM A FUCKING INCH

20 years later. you're kermit. opening night at the muppet theater. you look up. you can't believe it. those two awful cunts from next door are here. neither of them died yet. they're going to be here, forever.

You can make a movie with where the only white character is a man named Ray Cism whose one line of his 16 seconds of screen time is “I seriously hate women and minorities.” and you’ll find fifty bajillion reader x Ray Cism fanfics and renaissance style drawings of him with a halo of golden light

Imagine you're getting wheeled in the back of an ambulance and you pass a sign reading "prototype jack memorial hospital & experimental food research facility"

some people become so annoying as fuuuck when you tell them you're a werewolf

you can have this it is real

*pointing at your wife*: you know that thing would eat you if you died, right?