Flavumetrubrum

Naruto - definitely not licensed. debatable whether he actually knows which one is the brake pedal. as long as Sakura is alive he will not be allowed behind the wheel of a car. unknowable/10

Sasuke - also not technically licensed, but all things considered a pretty decent driver. probably started driving well before he was legally old enough to. 7.5/10

Sakura - road rage extraordinaire. swears up and down she goes the speed limit but in truth goes at minimum 10 over. “speed limit is a suggestion” more like speed limit is a challenge. at the very least she gets them where they need to go. 5.5/10

Sai - never learned to drive until he met team 7. between Naruto and Sakura’s influences, he won’t be getting licensed for at least the next 6 years. good luck/10

Shikamaru - truly cannot be arsed. if asked to drive he claims to not have a license, but he definitely does. another unknowable/10 but I like to think in a pinch he’d be pretty good at it.

Choji - reliable driver but has a tendency to be late. gets stressed out when he has more than a few passengers. 6/10

Ino - wants to be a passenger princess soo badly. unfortunately for her, she’s the best on her team. being good at driving is her curse. woefully, 10/10

Kiba - team 8’s designated driver, believe it or not. he is…not good at it, per se, but better than the rest of them. having two sets of eyes on the road tends to help. 6.5/10

Hinata - gets so stressed out she forgets how to brake. she’ll be white knuckling the wheel going 50 in a residential while her passengers pray for their lives in the backseat. -2/10 her dad’s insurance is through the roof

Shino - morally opposed to driving. he hasn’t confirmed why but the running theory is that a swarm of his bugs faceplanted into the windshield once and traumatized him. unknowable/10

Neji - doesn’t believe in right-of-way. refuses to use his mirrors. whole heartedly believes he is god’s gift to the interstate. by some miracle has never gotten into a crash, but if any of his passengers are sensible people he is banned from the wheel. 0/10

Tenten - makes Sakura’s road rage look like divinely inspired patience. honestly she’s not even mad she just enjoys it. has to be actively talked down from brake checking people. banned from the wheel 0/10

Lee - while technically a perfect driver (obeys every speed limit, never makes an illegal turn, maneuvers like butter), having him in the front seat is such an intolerable experience he’s also banned from the wheel. those unfortunate enough to have witnessed it don’t speak of their experience, but rumors involve something along the lines of a custom-made Gai inspirational quotes driving playlist. 0/10

Temari - grew up driving her brothers around. Absolutely hates it. when she’s in a car she’s got her feet up on the dashboard and always has the aux. if she were to drive again, 9.5/10

Gaara - an…extremely calm, level headed driver? side effect of RBF is that everyone is always waiting for him to snap and run someone over. he never has. probably listens to calming classical music or something while in traffic jams. 10000/10

They are both stalkers, but while Shikamaru is an information gatherer and knows everything, Hinata is a physical stalker.

Shikamaru "imprinted" in the early days of the academy, but no one knew about it until he filed for registration of his fixation

("A fixation on a person? Are you sure that-" "It's been going on for 6 years. I'm sure" "…oh")

Well. About "nobody knows".

Chouji knew about the obsession, but doesn't connect it to the fixation and thinks that his friend is just like that™. It happens. After all, Hinata is the same (and she doesn't have the excuse of "Nara fixations")

The Nara love to gather information.

For Shikamaru, the unpredictable and mysterious Naruto is bait. Hook, line and sinker.

Shikamaru wants to know everything about Naruto - not a single detail will be insignificant He learns more and more about him, without noticing how he becomes obsessed.

He knows everything, like in the song with which this idea was started

I name your mother and your father and the first pet that you keep I know your favourite place to dine at when your cheque comes in each week I know you do your wash on Sundays and you separate your whites And that your car needs a new tire 'cause last week I laid those spikes I've got a million polaroids with all the dates penned in red ink I sneak a walkie-talkie in your room to listen to you sleep

the first pet can be either "Kyuubi" or someone Naruto got. In any case, Shikamaru knows about the jinchuriki status

And even more. He also knows that Hinata is watching him from afar. (He has photos of her rummaging through Naruto's trash, for possible blackmail)

They eventually team up after the Chunin Exams. It's too late to kill or blind the princess, Naruto took her under his wing more consciously. Hinata could never fully get rid of someone who truly became Naruto's friend They can only team up

When Shikamaru realizes that Naruto thinks Hinata is afraid of him because of his stuttering and fainting, he introduces them so that he won't be sad anymore (Hinata is horrified that she hurt him with her behavior and ecstatic that he cares about her so much)

They both dislike Sakura. Moreover, Hinata was irritated by Sakura until Shikamaru pointed out a more serious problem.

Sasuke.

………………………………….

I think it will be really funny when the older generation realizes that the Nara and Hyuga heirs are crazy about one (1) fox boy.

I was thinking up some possibilities how this will be revealed to the older generation

For some reason, there is a temporary reassignment of teams (like an exercise or something). And Asuma gets our trio

And at the end of the training week, the senseis (and some parents) are gathered at the bar, while the other senseis are discussing the kids, Asuma is just drinking and looking into space

“Tough week?” “You have no idea”

You would think that among the three of them, the loud blond one would be the problematic one, but no. He is surprisingly easy to be around if you pay attention to him. He is the only ray of light in all this nonsense, whom Asuma fiercely defends when someone implies that he is the one making the week tough.

It is the “quiet and calm” ones who are absolutely crazy.

It's always the quiet ones.

(just imagine Hizashi and Shikaku aging before our eyes when Asuma describes their children as wild gremlins whose brakes are a ninja without brakes.

I admit I'm a big fan of Shikaku, who panics over his son because he knows it's a disaster waiting to happen.

i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live 

most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person