grotesia
used to be keuscheliebe

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@flailwound
grotesia
used to be keuscheliebe

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i saw my ontology teacher's hairy fat belly countless times today because he left the last button unfastened
same man
yesterday i had my last ontology class. i will miss my teacher. he was so gentle and so completely lost in his own world. he once spoke with us about the concept of the egregore and everyone laughed after class
young sees old's sweaty throat
i ripped a lot of hair out of my mother's head and it makes me hate her even more because it is yet another thing that is wrong with this place

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i will be studying early christianity next year as one of my subjects
the atla fanfiction with the most kudos has the same level of text complexity as mine, and yet im still petty about the fact that ellipsus marked my text as simple. im vain
everything i do is terrible and i should stop trying
made an account on ellipsus
“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be free” men CAN get pregnant and they’re treated worse than women who can get pregnant
fortunately, when people say "men," they still think of males, not mentally ill females who mutilate their bodies so that they may at last be considered human

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after suffering from severe acne in my teens i never stopped believing that my skin looks disgusting and that i get red, oily, and filthy throughout the day. no matter what i do i feel unclean. i only have a dry forehead now and big pores, but i feel like my skin is abnormally repulsive. i hate when people look at my face. im a complete loser
my ontology teacher deserves a good sex life
everything that is wrong with me is the result of my experience when i was twelve and roleplaying as a male character in a het ship. i found real happiness in being a man for a woman and i cant go back
my ethics teacher is a woman and during one of our classes some child started crying outside. before closing the window she said something like "oh poor thing" and i got secondhand embarrassment. like she can speak about philosophy all she wants but in the end this is what she really is. nothing more than a woman and in the most obvious and pathetic way. why do i have to be female and be associated with women and their trivialities. i should be male. i dont even like lesbian sex because it is so boring. i want to be male and penetrate what i find beautiful. that is why my ideal sex is just kissing while mutually masturbating. only that way can i escape being a woman to someone. but my actual sexual satisfaction could only come from taking a male role. being female is completely flavorless when it comes to both sexual matters and being a person. males are people and females are always just women

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i came into peace with the fact that my knowledge of history is entirely reduced to the history of human thought and i cant name a single wwii battle. i cant make myself care about any real person who has lived in the past unless they are a philosopher who is one with their philosophy. im only interested in people when they represent something. and mahabharata for example is rich in meaning while real events simply happen. there is nothing profound in them unless the feelings they evoke are translated into a story. all the things that ever happen to people are nothing unless they are organized into some narrative oneness which does not belong to actual experience but to the territory of storytelling
criticizing "yankee dog culture" has nothing to do with anti capitalism but rather the thought that humans are inherently superior to animal life. criticizing the hipocrisy of the middle and upper class of feeling empathy towards dogs while not caring about people is not the same as saying dogs are worth less than humans, because even if in some developed countries dogs are "over protected" people are still abusing and mistreating dogs in the rest of the world. the whole world thinks animals are inferior to human beings, that's why most people eat meat, there is nothing revolutionary in that.