The girl who lived.

There's a lot of things I need to change in my life and I need to let go of the girl who started this blog and move on.. And I need to stop blogging and start doing something.. I don't want to delete it cause let's face it, I had some of the sweetest blogs.. And it's good to look back sometimes, yennoe?  I just need to take a time out from everything until I'm ready to come back.. Thank you for following, reblogging, liking, and all that stuff..

I HATE PAPER CUTS :(

Yup, watching the office while working in the office :D Thank you Netflix!

Why did the fish have a bad report card? Because all of his grades were under "C" HAHAHAHAHA!

It's really no secret that I'm terrified of spiders.. So I'm here at work, taping invoices to boxes and BAM a fucken golden colored spiders crawls up from the box I'm working on and darn near kills me.. Now I'm over here thinking about what if I got bit and turn into Spiderman or in this case Spiderwoman.. I know some people fantasize about that.. You know having the ability to crawl on walls, super strong, and you get to make webs outta your hands! But I REALLY HATE SPIDERS and in all honesty.. I'd probably kill myself.. I hate spiders that much and I'm super afraid of them.. So in reality if I were to get bit and turn into Spiderwoman, I'd probably scare myself to death and hang myself in my webs.. (EEEEEKK talking and thinking about spiders make me feel like they're crawling all over me right now adkltfhjaiogbaur)

I really don't like how nowadays when I'm talking to someone about something personal I feel it necessary to say "Don't tell anyone okay?".  I mean back in the day it was kinda  known that if someone is telling you something, then that's between you and them and not everybody else.  And I've trusted a lot of people because I thought like this.  But things are so different now.  People use stuff against people.  People spread other people's business. It's like if you don't say "Don't tell anyone." or anything relating to or of that nature, people would respond with "Oh I didn't know I wasn't suppose to tell." It's like DUHHH! Of course you're not suppose to tell anyone, if I wanted everyone to know my business I'd tell everyone personally.. And as much as I was comfortable back then talking to people about my life, it's now a reflex to tell whoever I'm talking to 'not to tell people, please.'  Even when it comes to my best friends, I no longer feel comforted it that isn't stated.  So please don't feel offended if I ask you to keep whatever it is we're talking about between us because it's not you, it's me.

Emma Pillsbury

When I'm happy, I'm like Disneyland personified. But when I'm down, I'm like the bottom of a bottomless pit.  Yennoe, there doesn't really seem to be a halfway point with me.  It's like I can't settle for average, I'm always striving for more.  That sounds good though right? Always striving for more.. Make the good better, and the better best. 'Be all that you can be' status.  But the mind set to always be striving for more isn't always a good thing.. Cause it also happens when I get sad, yennoe? I can't just be sad.. My mind wants more, it wants to push me even further than just sad.  It wants me to feel pain, to suffer. So, it conjures every little thing that's ever hurt me just to give me the boost to go from sad to depressed.. I guess having such extreme emotions is one of those "blessing and a curse" type things huh? I really gotta learn how to control my emotions cause the whole 'emotions controlling me' thing is a bit ridiculous.