Music should be your escape.

I could never wear any of those dumb “I hope both teams have fun” shirts because no I hope my team wins by 30 and the other team explodes on the field

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

using violence to liberate people from sweatshops, unsafe mines, and grinding poverty isn't the same as using violence to impose those things on people. the idea that violence is morally repugnant regardless of context is a belief that every oppressor throughout history would love for the oppressed to hold

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

they gotta start shooting divorced white men over 50 on sight when they land in thailand or the philippines

i’d follow him to hell and back but i wish he’d just stop going there