Lost soul

i want this so bad

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I only ate one meal today. I'm actually proud of myself. I slept the day away so I wouldn't be tempted and it worked. I could feel the hunger every time I woke up, but told myself to sleep so I wouldn't injest anything.

Meme from old deleted acc

Why can't I lose weight faster?

I️ don’t know why it still shocks me but it’s a daily surprise to me how little people seem to care about me and how unimportant I️ am to everyone in my life. I️ love my friends so much, I️ would do anything for them and it makes me happy to be around them and to talk to them but I’m 100% last on their list to talk to, to hang out with, to invite places, when I️ text them they either won’t reply or they’ll be so short in their replies that it’s like I’m annoying them. The pain in my chest right now is so overwhelming because of how sad I️ feel and I️ don’t know what to do. I️ don’t know how to be less annoying, I️ don’t know how to be more important to them. I could disappear or die and I genuinely feel like it wouldn’t even matter to anyone, they’d just go on with their daily lives without a single care in the world. And this whole post is so stupid reading it back and it’s just like oh poor pitiful me or whatever but this is literally the only place where I️ can talk about what’s hurting my heart so.. some days it’s so bad I️ just want to die.