Fishy's Vent Blog

would yall be mad if i relapsed

Mother has let me keep an entire bottle of advil in my room! Because of my tooth pain! Surely! Nothing wrong will happen!

Flowkey fighting the urge to block someone that I care abt for like no reason other then fact that “they’re probably going to leave me so I should leave first to make it hurt less” despite having no real evidence they’re going g to leave me other than like one off hand post

this also applies to other words(All usually negative) and unhealthy coping mechanisms like I don’t do them every mention of it just like pummels me with those thoughts for a bit and Sketchpad has to like intervene before I do something stupid

if i ever die i want you all to watch the moon for me

Am I useful do I mean anything to anyone do I have a use someone tell me im useful please please I don’t want to relapse I’m trying not to I’m useful right I’m useful I have a purpose no one going to leave me right I don’t want to be alone I have a use in someone’s life right I’m useful right someone tell me im useful someone tell me I mean something to them

Nothing fucks me up like my brain trying so damn hard to convince me that I’m a pedophile, rapist, abusive piece of shit all at once!! This is so fun!!!!

we don’t have any headmates(to my knowledge) that handle anger externally(it’s all handled internally again to my knowledge)

is it bad to feel like we have too many headmates idk I feel like we split or discover new headmates too often for it to be like valid?? /genq

appearance in general

-Sketchpad

-Sketchpad

WHY ARE THEY ALL FROM A SOURCE THAT WAS CREATED BY MY FRIEND