layla is gay and also my wife

Someone laid a perfectly smooth pristine egg in the middle of the moshpit tonight and we just kept circling it

Microsoft windows is always like oh yeah, we closed all your programs and restarted your computer while you were asleep. but don't fret ☝️we installed some spyware as a gift 😃

I’m actually always thinking of that “maybe I won’t die cause I’m special” tweet

They call it Expedition 33 because once you see it you turn 33 degrees and walk away.

why can't i go on google maps and search "nearest abandoned building"

really good spooky forest near me. really good hole in the ground near me

i just wanna play my 3ds there

i step on a landmine and am immediately blasted to a single lonely smithereen