firefly's diary

My primary passion is Trigun (Vashie my sweetie angel), where I stuck since uhhh... I don't remember… It was a long time ago. In any case, this manga/anime so dearest to my heart. It had a big influence on my personality, so be careful. I can talk about it for hours :D I love old and new versions equally, so I don't want to argue about this. Never.

I'm okay with doubles (OCs/selfships/yumeships) and canon x canon ships, so I'll be glad to discuss your f/o (especially if it's Vash, I'll be happy to share our love for him!), admire your art, read your stories and maybe roleplay (why not, I have a lot of experience :D). But please let's respect each other's feelings and tastes 💜

Main info about my OC in this post, the rest things will appear in blog time to time (otherwise why am I created it?!). I put a lot of time and effort into developing, so I'm pretty proud of my girl and love her. I think she's a little bit of a self-insert, even though we're completely different personalities :D So, I also absolutely love the dynamics of soulmates, slowburn and "right person, wrong time".

You can read BYI here, but main rule is if you don't like OC x canon/selfships/yumeships - don't interact/follow or I'll block you.

#FireSpirit 🔥- posts about OC #FireTyphoon 🔥🌪️ - posts about her dynamic with Vash

TG channel with all my arts.

That's all! Have a nice day, be kind to yourself 💜

Love&peace 💋🤞

«HEY THERE, SUNSHINE!!!

SO, YOUR BIRTHDAY IS FINALLY HERE! Well… Happy birthday!

I know, I know, I could say this in person, since we're all on the same ship now, traveling through the endless expanses of space. But I wanted to deliver my wishes in a way that's a little... unusual. Back on Nomans Land, we couldn't even exchange letters, and now the chance has finally come, and I'm taking it!

The truth is... not everything can be said while looking each other eye to eye. Or rather, it's not easy for me to do. For some reason, my hands suddenly start shaking, my voice cracks, and my eyes begin to sting treacherously. You know what I mean. You've seen it plenty of times. And you always pretend not to notice (which I appreciate), but you're terrible at pretending.

So, I'd rather put some things in a letter after all.

Anyway. You're asleep right now; I can see you. Sleeping peacefully, not tossing or turning or jerking from nightmares. That's a rare thing. When was the last time you felt at peace in your sleep? I hope you're dreaming of something good and pleasant. I'd like your sleep to bring you rest, not anxiety.

I've been thinking about your previous birthdays. Not the ones I was there for. There haven't been that many yet, which is a crime we're going to fix! But the ones I wasn't. All those years you spent wandering, alone, with no one to mark the day except maybe desert worms or a bartender who accidentally found out and gave you a free drink. Did you celebrate at all? Did you let yourself? Or did you just let the day pass like any other, because you didn't think you deserved to be celebrated?

I think I know the answer. And I hate that I know it.

So, this year and every year after we're doing it right. No arguments! I won't reveal the details; you'll find out soon enough anyway, Sunshine. We all want to express our gratitude to you. To you, the hero who saved an entire planet, three whole species, and still downplays what you've done. The hero who carried the weight of guilt on his shoulders for nearly two centuries, yet never despaired and never stopped being kind. The hero who looks at me like I'm the most precious treasure, even after all this time.

You deserve everything good that exists in this universe. You deserve people who love you. You deserve happiness. I know there's a thought living inside you that you haven't earned it. That good things always end quickly, that you have to keep proving your worth, that if you stop being useful for even a moment, everything will fall apart.

That won't happen. We won't let it. I won't let it. I promise.

I remember the moment I saw you for the first time. On that abandoned SEEDS ship. You were so young. You looked at me not like a failed experiment. You looked at me like I was worth saving. You barely hesitated. You just saw someone in trouble and decided to help. That's the kind of person you are. That's who you've always been.

I think that's when it all started. Back then, I didn't have a word for what I felt. I didn't have words for anything at all back then, except fear and pain and the desperate need to survive. But something shifted in me when you looked at me with your impossibly kind, big blue eyes and said, "trust me." And I trusted you. Even though I ran away right after. Even though it took us another whole century to figure everything out. I trusted you. And I never stopped.

These last three years have been a real trial for you. I'm still sorry I couldn't help you back then, in July. And that I didn't appear afterward. But... everything happened for the best. You made it through. You made the right decisions. You saved everyone. Or rather... you both did. I want to believe that Knives also found peace, together with Tesla and Rem. You are their legacy and their pride. Please, never doubt your worth. We need you here, alive and happy. They would want you to keep walking your path and bringing light to others.

I love you. I know you know, I tell you every day. But I'm not sure you understand how much. It's not just the big things like saving a planet (though that's important, of course!); it's the small things. The way you awkwardly try to catch all the scattered parts, the way you hum something under your breath when you're focused, the way you smile so radiantly when someone is telling you about something. And the way you look at me when you think I'm not watching. Like I'm the best thing that's ever happened in your life. Like you're still surprised I'm here.

Yeah, I am here. And I'm not going anywhere. I didn't spend nearly a century trying to catch up with you just to leave. And now that I've finally managed it, I won't back down. I'm staying. Until the very end.

Happy birthday, Vash. My ray of sunshine. My Windy. My Angel. My favorite disaster.

Now stop reading, come out of your cabin, and find me! Sentiment aside, I want to give you your real present!

And yes, there are donuts.

Always yours,

Little Flame ❤️

P.S.: If my eyes are red and puffy, it's allergies! Don't you dare bring it up!!!

A brief overview of Blaze's relationship with characters of whole story. Some of them are much more complex than described below. But I tried to convey the main idea as short as possible :D My handwriting leaves a lot to be desired but i tried to make it legible...

Vash woke up with a sharp exhale, like someone finally allowed to surface and breathe air. Light struck his wide-open eyes. It wasn't a blinding white of explosions his feverish mind imagined, but soft afternoon sunlight filtering through half-closed curtains.

Then Vash heard noise. Not endless gunfire and people screaming–just a quiet beeping nearby. He turned his head toward the sound. A heart monitor.

A hospital. What was he doing here?..

Moments ago, Vash was on Nomans Land. On a planet covered in sand. He fought his twin brother–and then he was falling unconscious, toward July city below. His restless thoughts were interrupted by the opening door. A woman with long dark hair stepped quietly inside the room. Her eyes immediately sought the patient. And her face lit up with a smile when she saw he was awake.

"Oh, my baby… My dear boy. You're awake. I'm so glad!" Rem was at his bedside in seconds, embracing him and holding him close.

"M-Mom?" Vash's voice came out trembling with emotion. He carefully hugged her back, as if afraid she might disappear. Again. Delicate floral scent enveloped him–so familiar, so gentle, so home. Vash closed his eyes, still trying to comprehend where he was. Was this... real?

Rem pulled back and placed her hand on her son's forehead. Her expression mixed with maternal concern and firmness. "You're still warm, sweetheart," she murmured, stroking his hair. "But the important thing is that you came to your senses." She handed him a glass of water.

As Vash drank, he noticed two more figures in the doorway. Tesla walked further in and stopped, hands on her hips. She tried to look casual, but her eyes, red from crying, betrayed her true state. "You really made us worry, little brother," she said with a hoarse laugh.

"Sorry, Tes..." Vash smiled sheepishly.

Tesla crossed the room and ruffled her brother's hair. She'd always done that when she wanted to tease him. "Silly. Don't do it again."

Behind her Knives appeared, arms crossed over his chest. Perfect posture and a carefully neutral expression. He looked impassive. Almost indifferent. But Vash knew his twin-brother too well. Knives' shoulders were tense, his fingers gripped his shirt too tightly. And there was a mixture of anxiety and relief in his gaze.

"Hey, Kni," Vash said, guilt creeping into his voice.

Knives stared at Vash for a long moment. Then he narrowed his eyes and finally spoke. "Don't you dare scare us like that again."

"I'll try."

"Try harder." It was the closest thing to I was worried about you that Knives would ever say aloud.

"So... what happened?" Vash asked and tried to remember the last few days. But only fragments of his dream surfaced.

"You were unconscious for three days!" Tesla exclaimed. "And you seemed to be having nightmares. You kept calling for Mom... And the last time, you screamed Kni's name so loudly the whole hospital came running..."

"Three days?" Vash asked, astonished. He lived an entire life in his head, while in reality only a few days had passed. He looked at his family. Each one in turn. They were all here. Alive. Healthy. Vash reached out and pulled them all into an embrace.

"I'm so, so sorry... Please, forgive me. For making you worry," he said quietly, his voice breaking. He still couldn't process what was happening. Still couldn't believe he was just an ordinary guy. Not a Plant forced to fight his own brother.

"It's alright, darling. You don't need to apologize. You're not at fault for anything." Rem answered with a smile and kissed her son's forehead.

"You're lucky Y/N was there!" Tesla said. "She called an ambulance right away, then called all of us."

That name. A beloved face immediately surfaced in Vash’s memory. She appeared in his dream too, from time to time. Laughed with him in bars. Stargazed with him. They talked. Argued. Fought side by side. And—

Vash raised his left hand. It was normal. Human. Of flesh and blood. Could his mind have deceived him again?

"Where's she?" he asked, trying to push aside rising fears.

"We sent her home to rest. She stayed with you until we got here. Even after, she didn't want to leave. But she needs sleep too. I insisted," Rem replied, concerned.

"I think she'll be here soon with the rest of your friends!" Tesla added with a chuckle.

"That's goo—"

"Spikey!" Nick burst into the room without knocking. He strode straight to Vash, and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Looking lively. Won't have to pray for your soul. Good. Keep it up."

"Hi, Nick," Vash responded with a smile.

Meryl and Milly entered behind Nick. "Nicholas," Meryl said sternly, nudging him with her elbow. "Enough with your jokes."

"Hey, this is my kind of support!"

Meryl rolled her eyes, then smiled at Vash. "Glad to have you back. Just a little bit more and Milly would've climbed through the window without waiting for visiting hours."

"We all worried!" Milly chimed in, pushing past friends. In one hand she held a bouquet, in the other a get-well card covered in glitter. "Besides, I didn't hear either of you objecting!" Milly set flowers and card on nightstand. Then she leaned down to pull everyone into another group hug.

"We would've been arrested" Meryl said skeptically.

"Pfft, it would've been worth it," Nick declared.

Vash laughed genuinely, then started coughing. The sound of his friends' voices, their playful bickering, their warm embraces—pulled him back to reality. The horror of the dream was slowly receding. "Thanks for coming, guys."

"Someone has to make sure you don't die from your..." Nick paused mid-sentence, searching for the right word. He realized the entire Saverem family was behind him. "...kindness. Y/N was losing her mind while you were out."

"Nick." Another female voice sounded across the room. Vash's gaze immediately found its source.

You entered last, closing the door behind you. Then you looked at him. You felt tired, but strangely at ease. However, dark circles under your eyes betrayed your worry and sleepless nights.

"You don’t—" Vash started guiltily, but you raised your hand, cutting him off.

"No, don't even think about it. You need to spend your energy recovering, not worrying about everyone else. At least for now," you said confidently but softly, approaching the bed.

You sat beside Vash, studying his beloved features. Your hands reached for his hair, gently smoothing down messy blond strands. You tried not to show your own anxiety, but fingers betrayed you with a barely perceptible tremor. Enough for Vash to notice. He carefully brought your palm to his cheek and leaned into it. Then his lips touched your skin absentmindedly, kissing tenderly. He still couldn't believe he was safe. Surrounded by people who cared so much for him. That he could allow himself to rest, without fear of putting anyone in danger.

You stroked his cheek with your thumb, watching. Vash looked exhausted. Lost in thought, clearly troubled by something. All his strength had gone into fighting the illness and finally opening his eyes. You heard his feverish ramblings. Sobs. Cries. Tears. Your heart ached at the memory. If only you could help him there, in the dream...

"You're warm, my mayfly. And you're okay. I'm glad," Vash said, wrapping his arms around you and pulling close. He buried his face in your shoulder, pressing another kiss there. You froze for a moment. Then placed your hands on his back, holding him, stroking.

"And I'm glad you're awake, my sunshine," you whispered in his ear. "You were talking in your sleep. Some pretty unsettling things."

"What did I say?" Vash asked after a moment, trying to piece together the events of his fevered mind.

"A lot of things," you replied thoughtfully. "About a spaceship, a crash, the desert, the Plants. About... Knives being a traitor." At the last words, Knives raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"I dreamed..." Vash began slowly, "...that everything was different. Nothing like here. That Mom and Tesla were gone. That Kni hunted and caught me, trying to erase my memory. That none of you were there... Like I was always alone." At his final words, your grip unconsciously tightened, and you held him closer. You couldn't fully understand what kind of life Vash had lived in his head over those three days. But your desire to protect him remained.

"It was just a bad dream. You woke up. Everything's okay now. We're all here," you said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. You felt Vash tighten his embrace around you.

"And I'm asking you to take care of yourself, honey," Rem added with a sigh. "Heatstroke is no joke. You need to watch the weather and not work in the open sun."

"Or you'll dream up worse things. For example, how I'll strangle you for neglecting your health!" Tesla chimed in.

"God, when does Needle-noggin ever think about himself?!" Nick waved a hand. "If someone needs help, he'll come running in the middle of the night."

"That’s why you called Vash the night before his university finals? Because there was trouble at the bar?" Meryl teased.

"He found out about it himself and tagged along! Livio and I could've handled it," Nick retorted, a hint of guilt in his voice.

"My brother is hopeless," Knives concluded.

"But we love him!" Milly declared happily, clapping her hands.

"Yeah… He's the brightest sun capable of warming everyone," you smiled, pulling back slightly from Vash. "Now you can relax and unwind. We'll take care of the rest." You looked at him tenderly and then winked.

The room filled with laughter. Light. Peaceful. Sincere.

The dream was terrifying. World without family, without friends, without you. But reality was so much kinder. Vash watched them with gratitude. These people he loved. These people who loved him. The last remnants of nightmare faded away. Finally, he was home. And he was alone no longer. That was enough.

And an option with Blaze. God, will fate ever allow them to live in peace?..

OMG I WANT TO DRAW MY CUTIES TOGETHER

AND MORE VASH (start to miss him when don't draw him for so long😭)

AND EDIT TEXT IN FANFIC

AND MAKE HAPPY TRIGUN MODERN AU

BUT I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR ALL OF IT

stupid adult life ugh.