hot piece of ace

ICY!!! My love, my life, my wife! ❤️‍🔥 I have been through some tough, unfair shit lately but I'm persevering 💪🏼 I miss being on here and I'm trying to be here more often!

How are you doing? It's so good to hear from you!

We had to put our sweet baby Bulma down today. I'm an absolute mess. She had a cancerous tumor exactly one year ago today, they took it out and she did great with recovery. Then it came back. Fast. Twice the size this time. We didn't have another 10k to put towards a surgery so we just put her on pain pills and took it day by day. Last week she took a turn for the worst and we had to make the call.

We gave her one more year of life, love, walks(when she could), and treats. I miss her so fucking much it physically hurts me. The only thing keeping me sane is the knowledge that she's pain free now.

I almost had a panic attack in the vet office when she was finally gone. I had my hand on her the whole time and when she passed, it was like I couldn't feel her anymore. It was almost like an epiphany that we are not our bodies. When our soul is gone, we're gone.

I don't want to live without her. I can't. I want to wake up and see her at her food bowl again, waiting at the patio door for me to let her outside, turn over to see her cuddling me. She was everything to me. No more sassy backtalk. No more "I love you's" that I trained her to say. No more sitting on the porch with her in the sunshine.

Just silence.

The house is so quiet it's driving me mad. I want to scream to fill the soundless void, to get my anger out, to say fuck cancer with my whole chest because you took her from me.

Kinda strange but to bring me peace, I've been imagining that scene where Vegeta screams "That's my Bulma" and beats the shit out of Beerus but I'm Vegeta and Beerus is cancer. It helps sometimes.

I've never had to put a dog down, this is my first experience with it and I've had her since she was a puppy. I can't fucking do this.