Hi !! My name’s Fio, I’m in my late 20s and when I’m not writing, I’m reading, making cosplays with my wonderful girlfriend, playing video games or studying to be a history teacher.
I created this sideblog to post my fanfictions. I have severe social anxiety but I LOVE getting comments and requests!! My ask box is always open and I'm nice, I promise <3
English is not my first language, so please excuse the grammar/syntax errors or spelling mistakes. I can write in French (my native language) or in Italian too. As I'm very busy, I tend to write very slowly, so I can't tell you exactly when I'll be posting or updating.
Keep it mind that it will mostly be a nsfw blog. MDNI ♡
Hope you enjoy your time here !! ♥
Sometimes I talk about myself using the tag the exciting life of fio, but you can block it
💫 Main fandoms...
House of the Dragon ♥
Game of Thrones
Star Wars (mainly prequel trilogy & clone wars era)
The Last Kingdom
Vikings
Kaamelott
Arcane
Overwatch
Reign
💫 Currently writing...
Daemon Targaryen x Jace girlfriend!reader - modern AU
The sea and the fire (Aemond x reader) - chapter 2
Cregan Stark x reader (request)
💫 Masterlist
House of the dragon
Aemond Targaryen
Reunion [+18] | finished | Aemond x niece!reader | angst with comfort
Or when you find your presumed dead former husband 3 years later.
Part 1 - Part 2
The sea and the fire | on going | Aemond x niece!reader | angst
Or when you're married to your childhood sweetheart who becomes your enemy and you get lost in the terrible maze of politics.
Chapter 1
The dragon and his little rose | on going | Aemond x Tyrell!Reader | beauty and the beast retelling
Or when you offer yourself to the beast to free your people.
Prologue
Aemond Targaryen & Alys Rivers
The lust we share [+18] | one shot | finished | Aemond x wife!Reader x Alys | pwp
Or when your husband takes you to Harrenhal and you met his lover.
Cregan Stark
Soon
Daemon Targaryen
Soon
Jacaerys Velaryon
Muña [+18] | one shot | finished | Jacaerys x aunt!Reader | pwp
Or when you're married to your nephew, and find he's turned into a strong man with a mommy kink.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Summary: As you mourn your brother, memories from the past come flooding back.
Rating: Explicit 18+, MDNI.
Pairing : Jace x twin sister!Reader, implied Aemond x Reader, implied Cregan x Reader. TW : unprotected sex, p in v sex, fingering, handjob, grief, death, war, angst, smut with angst, incest, afab read, codependecy, not proofread
Words count : 8019
AN : hi everyone, long time no see :’D SORRY FOR THIS LONG HIATUS I’ve been busy with work, and then with a huge international cosplay competition, and then. Here I am. I’ve had this idea in my head for a while. I WILL finish my other fanfictions one day. I have ideas for other fandoms too. So much to write and so little time, that’s sad. WELL. Sorry for what you’re about to read. Be aware that their relationship is kinda fucked up. Like codepent twins fuck up and weird coping mechanism. You’ve been warned. I hope you’re all well <3
English is not my first language !! sorry for the errors <3
* * * * * * * * *
The announcement of the news hangs in the air for a moment. Everything seems unreal. You are frozen in a kind of stupor. Of denial. Your whole world is crumbling ; it’s a part of you. It’s as if a limb were being torn from you, as if your heart were being ripped out. A strong grip in your chest, squeezing and pulling, pulling...
You collapse, yet you remain standing on your own two feet. You don't know how, but they're supporting your weight. People bustle around you. Your mother. Baela. Everyone around you move like little docile ants in the face of the situation's urgency. No. You refuse. Your mind cannot grasp the information you’ve just learned.
It’s hot all of a sudden. Or cold. You cannot tell. The atmosphere feels strange, and in the distance, you hear a heart-wrenching echo. It’s the cry of a mother who has lost her son. It echoes against the walls. Yet still, you do not move. You look at the woman with blonde hair, on her knees, who is pleading and shaking her son in the hope of waking him up. A miracle that will never come. You ceased believing in miracles after –
You are struggling to breathe. The part of you that was torn away, it's wounds you still. You are in pain. A hellish pain you cannot describe. It grips you everywhere, it paralyzes you, it plunges you into a numbness beyond feeling. Will the tears ever come? Will you ever be able to feel anything again?
The walls of Dragonstone welcome the Stranger once more, all too soon.
It is too much. Overwhelming. No one moves. Only Rhaenyra’s screams and cries break the deafening silence of death, and you gaze upon the lifeless body of your twin brother.
You are alone, utterly alone.
*** *** ***
[two years earlier]
It felt strange to return to the Red Keep after all those years spent among the cold, watchful stones of Dragostone. The island had been a refuge where you were lulled by the waves, a kind of interlude that had now come to its end. The hallways felt both familiar and foreign. Your bedroom, too. It was different in your memories, but then again, perhaps it was childhood nostalgia that had tinged them with a very particular hue.
Clearly, you had to play your role, fulfill your duty. It was for your family, for your mother, for your brothers. After Aegon and Helaena’s wedding, you were now the last hope of uniting the two families. And it could not be so terrible. You and Aemond were alike; you shared a love of learning, history, and languages. He had been a close friend, and you had been his source of comfort after the incident.
Returning to the Red Keep meant making the official announcement of the betrothals between Baela and Jace, Rhaena and Luke, and you and Aemond. It was part of the agreement, and you had accepted it because you knew how important it was to your mother. You were willing to make any sacrifice for peace and the greater good.
- Still got your head in the clouds ?
A warm embrace wrapped around your shoulders, grounding you in reality. You found yourself face to face with the features you knew so well - the ones that were so similar to your own
- No, I was just…
Just what? You left the end of your sentence hanging.
- There is something I would have you keep, you said, unfastening the necklace you'd been wearing around your neck. I... I know it's foolish, but...Take that. That way, you shall never forget me.
He held out his hand, and you placed the piece of jewellery in the palm of his hand. He studied it as if it were the most precious object he had ever held.
- Is that concern I hear in your voice, dear sister? Jace asked, his tone a mix of teasing and worry. For you know I won’t forget you.
You hated it when he showed concern for you. You were the older sister by mere minutes – it was yourplace to worry about him, even if he liked to contradict you.
- Jace. Please. You know I’m not afraid. I’m doing this for the family. It’s my duty. It’s our duty.
With his hands upon your shoulders, he turned you round. One of his fingers wrapped around a strand of hair that had loosed from your braid and he tucked it behind your ear. He sought your gaze, his brown eyes locking with yours.
- Just because it’s your duty doesn’t mean you can’t feel a little fear. I feel a little fear, too.
- Baela is nice. And beautiful, you added to reassure him. She’ll make you happy.
- I do love Baela, he replied with a little chuckle. And yet, I am afraid. There is the wedding. And what comes after.
You nodded. You knew that Jace understood how you felt better than an other. As the eldest son, he shared the burden of responsibility with you. He knew what it was like to be crushed beneath obligations you hadn’t chosen - and to live in ceaseless dread of failing. Ever since childhood, both of you had borne that role, serving as examples for Lucerys, Joffrey, Aegon and Viserys.
Jace gently stroked your cheek, his thumb tracing the crest of your cheekbone. You stayed like that for a moment, revelling in the warmth radiating from his palm against your cheek. It seemed a distant memory, the days when he would come to you because he was afraid of the storm. Back then, you had made a habit of telling him tales you made up about dragons, princes and forgotten kingdoms or female pirates ; a blend of the history you knew and subtle inventions. Sometimes, when sleep would not find you, he was the one who lulled you to sleep with his words. And some other times, you would spend nights talking in the dark, his hand in yours.
Thunderstorms frightened him no longer now, and you had learned to face your night-time thoughts alone.
- You shall make a good king, Jace, you said, taking his hand and tracing the lines of his palm.
He fell silent for a moment. You let go of his hand.
- That… that is precisely what troubles me, he sighed. I fear I will make a poor king. There is still so much I must learn, and I am not ready.
At that very moment, he became the frightened boy from those stormy nights once again. His fingers laced with yours as you sought for the right words, the ones that could help him. You rested your head against his shoulder and closed your eyes.
If only you could stay by his side, but you were a daughter, he was a son, and your paths were inevitably fated to part.
*** *** ***
Following the disaster that had been dinner, you returned to Dragonstone. You knew that this was only temporary : soon, you would return to King's Landing as you had promised Aemond, to honour your betrothal and then your marriage. It was surely all the more needful now that the wounds of the past had been reopened. You might be the only hope of maintaining some semblance of unity between your families.
Your throat tightened. You were going to miss Dragonstone. You were going to miss your family. You were going to miss Jace. You were not ready to leave this place of comfort, where for so many long years you had been soothed by the familiar sound of churning waves crashing against the rocks. Would you ever grow used to this gilded cage, far from the freedom you had known here?
- Am I intruding ?
Your heart filled with a familiar warmth. Jace. Your troubles seemed lighter when he was near.
- I’m sorry for how things went at supper, you began.
- It’s not your fault. Let us just say Aemond is... Aemond.
You nodded.
- Aemond is Aemond. Indeed.
You knew it wasn’t your fault - you couldn’t control your betrothed’s impulsive temper, but you could not help feeling a twinge of guilt. After all, he was still to be your husband.
There was a moment of silence. It was as though each of you were hesitating. This shyness was something new. You needed him; you needed to run and take refuge in your twin brother’s arms. Just as in the old days. To feel the warmth of his body wrapped around you, shielding you from everything else. To breathe in his scent, so familiar, so comforting. So why did you seem unable to move?
He stepped towards you at last. There was something almost childlike about his movements, as though he were not quite sure of himself yet. You hated the awkwardness that had crept in between the two of you. Had it begun after the betrothals? After the supper ?
Your fingers felt cold in his. If he noticed, he gave nothing away.
- So I suppose this is when you leave us, is it?
Jace had learnt to bottle up his feelings, to wall himself behind a shield so as not to betray what he truly felt. At such times, he would throw his shoulders back and hold his head high. It was his way of showing that he was worthy of being king, for kings, after all, felt nothing. Kings were brave. Kings were not ruled by their hearts.
But you knew your brother better than any other. You understood him better than any other. Was there anything you hadn’t shared? You could read him like an open book.
- I suppose so.
You gave a comforting smile. You did not wish to see his sorrow ; it would only make your leaving all the more difficult.
For now, you would not think about that.
- Do not miss my wedding to Baela.
- I will not, Jace.
- Promise me. I need you at my wedding, he insisted.
- I promise, Jace, you replied with a chuckle, rolling your eyes, and he drew you close, pressing you against his chest.
For a long time, you had stood taller than him and it had annoyed him. But now that he was a man grown, he was perhaps a few inches taller than you. Yet if you rose on your toes, you could still tower over him.
- I would not miss my little brother’s wedding for anything in the world, you added, rising on tiptoe to tease him, your arms wrapped around the back of his neck.
He hated it when you reminded him that you were the elder. He pouted, crossing his arms before him, and you stepped back. You were about to walk away, but he caught your hand.
- Wait, he said.
You waited. His thumb traced idly the back of your hand. With his head down, he seemed lost in thought, as if he wanted to tell you something important but could not quite find the words. Turning your hand, he outlined your palm with his thumb, moving gently up towards your wrist. Still he was searching for the right words.
Suddenly, he frowned. You gave him a questioning look.
- Hey. What is that ? he asked, lifting your wrist to look closer.
Your heart raced. Fuck. You’d overlooked that detail.
Things had turned sour, just before the supper. You were no longer certain how. Perhaps it had been something you had said that struck a spark of rage in Aemond, the start of a quarrel like those that sometimes happened between you. You were both fire when you were together. You were fire and water, destroying each other by nature. You had wished to cut the conversation short, but he had held you back. His grip had tightened around your wrist, he had pulled you, perhaps a little too hard, leaving a bracelet of purplish marks around it.
- It’s nothing.
You could see the alarm in his eyes; the worry and the anger too. You could guess at the storm that was raging within him. His blood must have been boiling. His desire to -
That was one of the reasons you had kept silent. It might have been selfish, it might have been foolish of you, but you had wished to avoid making things worse. Aemond, you could deal with him on your own.
- It is not nothing, he retorted, his voice edged with anger. I swear to the Seven that I’m going to -
- It’s fine, Jace. I’m fine, you cut him off.
He wanted to retort, he wanted to explain just how much it was not fine, but the sensation of the soft warmth radiating from the palm of your hand against his cheek stilled him. You had cupped his cheek gently, stroking his hair with your thumb to soothe him.
Was it not ironic, reassuring your brother about something that had been done to you ?
- There is something we can do. We can yet call off the wedding. You’re my sister. I will not let him hurt you.
- I swear it. I am fine.
His hand closed around the wrist stroking his cheek, as though to feel you closer to him, as though he were clinging to what remained of you, his sister, for the moment. For soon, you would be leaving, and soon you would have to face your hardships alone. You swallowed the tears threatening at the corners of your eyes. Everything would be well. You had promised that. Everything would be well.
Jace pulled you close and you buried your head in the nape of his neck, your hair, so alike, mingling into a dark mass. You wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed yourself against him as if seeking to become one with him. As if you never wanted to lose him. What would your days be like without Jace ? You dared not imagine it. He was your rock. You were inseparable. You were born together, and together you would die.
- Promise me you willl tell me if he does not treat you well.
You held him a little tighter in response. With your eyes closed, you buried your head a little deeper into the crook of his neck, your breath tickling his skin.
- Promise me. Please. Promise me.
- I promise, you finally managed to say.
You stayed there against him a moment, in silence, muffling a sob against the fabric of his gambeson.
- Will you stay the night ? Your voice took on a timid tone. Please. Before I leave.
Just as it had been then. Just as when you were children. You wished to have him close to you for one night. Only for one last night.
- I shall stay.
He pressed a chaste kiss upon your lips. For a long time, you had wondered who would eventually cross that unseen line. You had played with the forbidden, for you knew you could not cross it. He was your brother, your twin brother. He was promised already to another, just as you were promised already. But it was only a matter of time before you yielded to the desire that consumed you both. It was impossible to fight against the unique bond that united you.
He kept his promise to remain at your side through the night, lying close beside you. It was not a good idea to let him into your bed, but you tried to silence the voice of reason in your head.
- I do not want you to go, he murmured.
- I know.
Slowly, your hand trailed the delicate contours of his chest, sliding between his thighs over the fabric. He was already hard against your hand, and your fingers traced the bulge growing against the linen of his breeches. He was about to pull away, to apologise for his body’s reaction, but you silenced him.
- Let me, you murmured against his lips.
His warm member twitched between your fingers, and you muffled a moan escaping his lips.
- Let me make you feel good.
You applied more pressure. His own fingers found refuge against your breast, caressing your hardened nipples through the fabric of your nightdress. You slid your hand under the waistband of his breeches to close it around his cock, the tip of which was already drooling.
You began to move, and he threw his head back. You were perfect. Your movements were perfect. He needed more. He was about to -
You felt him stiffen beneath you, his member throbbing until his hot seed covered your hand. He slowly caught his breath.
- Sorry, he whispered. I did not mean to -
- It is fine, you replied immediately, wiping your still-sticky fingers against the fabric of his underclothes.
Once he had regained his composure, Jace lifted your nightdress to roll your nipples between his fingers. You needed him between your thighs, where your crotch was aching with desire. You grabbed his wrist, guiding him lower.
- Here, you murmured. I want you here.
His fingers ventured between your thighs, through your curls, where the wetness was already gathering. Timidly at first, he explored the entrance of your opening, before moving up through your folds, to your desire-swollen clit. He traced small circles, his fingers drenched in your pleasure.
- Fuck. You are soaked.
The tip of his index finger pressed gently, shyly against your opening, as if to make sure it was all right, as if to make sure that it was not too much. When he got your approval, he slid his finger inside your warmth, caressing that delicious spot within. You could not suppress a moan. He quickly added a second finger, making sure not to hurt you, then a third. There were bigger than yours. But gods, it stretched you just right, just as it should.
His thumb against your clit, his fingers inside you, pressing against the spot that made you see stars, you were about to reach your climax. He picked up the pace slightly, admiring your face contorted with the pleasure that only he could give you. He was learning your body, taking in every sigh, every moan that escaped your lips, memorising what made you shiver.
Suddenly, your whole body tensed and you clung to him as you were overwhelmed by an indescribable sensation. He let you come down from your peak, keeping his fingers inside you for a moment, before withdrawing them gradually, slowly, and bringing them to his own lips.
- You taste good, sister.
He did that to make you blush, and it worked perfectly.
- It is inappropriate, you said with a sigh, just for the sake of it.
Glancing down between your bodies, you realised your brother was growing hard again, his large member standing erect against his lower abdomen and poking against you. So you pulled him towards you, letting him take his place between your parted legs, and he pressed his lips against yours.
- We should not be doing this, you whispered between kisses.
- No, we should not, he replied. Then tell me to stop. Tell me to stop now, if that is your wish.
But neither you nor he wished to stop. The night was still young. In reply, you slid your hand between your bodies, around his length, to guide it towards your entrance.
It might have been the only thing you could ever grant him, the only thing that would be his alone, forever. Whatever came after, he would always be the first.
*** *** ***
As soon as you passed through the gates of Dragonstone, you were overcome with the urge to throw yourself into your brother’s arms. You buried your head in the crook of his neck, just as you had done for the last time weeks before, breathing in his scent, pressing his body close to yours. Your feet left the ground as he spun you round. Gods be good, it had been so long since you had last seen him.
- By the Seven, I cannot believe you are truly here, he murmured in your ear, and the words sent a shiver down your spine. I have missed you so much.
You felt near crying with joy.
Everything had happened so quickly. One evening your grandsire, the king, died, and the very next day Aegon was already being crowned his successor before the masses. You had fled with the aid of ser Erryk and your grandmother Rhaenys. You had thought you would die. But you were here, you were truly here, home again.
You stayed like that for a moment, perhaps a little too long. His hands on your waist, your eyes locked with his, your faces so near, and above all, your heart beating, pounding. There was nowhere else you would have wished to be at that precise moment.
Lucerys ran towards you and you drew back from Jace, of a sudden feeling ashamed. It was as though you had been caught red-handed, as though you had been caught doing something forbidden.
But what could be so forbidden in wishing to be reunited with your twin brother?
You took Lucerys into your arms and your heart swelled with happiness. You had missed Lucerys so greatly, too. Of course, it was not the same feeling as when you had embraced Jace - Jace was a part of you, something no other could ever understand. Lucerys was the little brother you had looked after for so long, the one most like both you and Jace.
And when you were reunited with your mother, when you were reunited with Baela, and Rhaena, and Daemon, and Joffrey, and the rest of your family, you were certain that everything would be well. Yes. Everything would be well, so long as you were together.
As expected, your marriage to Aemond was annulled. Now that war had more or less been declared, every possible strategy had to be employed to secure allies, which included your worth as an unwed princess. That was one of the reasons why you were soon to journey to the North with Jace. To meet your potential husband: Cregan Stark.
Cregan Stark, by your mother’s accounts and the few letters you had exchanged, seemed a charming young man, of a temperament quite unlike Aemond’s. Your meeting with him only confirmed that first impression: Cregan was, indeed, a charming man. He had arranged everything for your arrival, from a place for your dragon to rest – he feared him, as you teased him about when you arrived – to cakes made with blackberries, your favourite fruit. You knew well how much effort he had spent into making you glad. He held a small banquet, he danced with you, he complimented you, and you had gotten along at once.
It was as though you had known each other all your lives. He was handsome. He was playful. He was kind. He had a fine wit.
If Aemond was a moon, mysterious and solitary, Cregan was a blazing sun.
Despite the cold of Winterfell, you could definitely see yourself living by his side. Perhaps it was for the best.
Perhaps.
*** *** ***
It is strange to think about all that now. It all seems so far away.
It is as though you have lived dozens of lives, despite your young age. Time seems like a strange thing to you now. Something distorted, twisted out of shape. What is a day ? What is a week ? What will time, what will life, be, now that Jace is gone? It is all so absurd. All of it is absurd.
Your thoughts turn back to Cregan. You will have to tell him the news. How do you tell him something your mind refuses to accept? It is the same hell all over again. It has been the same hell ever since –
*** *** ***
When Lucerys died, you refused to believe it.
Aemond.
Aemond had slain your little brother.
It was impossible. He had not done it. He could not have done it.
Aemond, your once-betrothed. The man who was supposed to become your husband. The man with whom you had shared your childhood. The man you had defended after the incident.
Squeezing your arm so hard that it left bruises was one thing.
Killing your little brother, his own nephew, was another matter entirely.
Were Lucerys’s deeds worth the price of his life?
Lucerys. You would never see him again. You would never run your hand through his thick brown hair again. You would never see him grow into a man. You would never see him become an uncle, a husband, a father.
Should you fly to King’s Landing? Seek your vengeance at the cost of your own life, in some desperate attempt?
He would never look at you again with those wide eyes of his. He would never again slip his little hand into yours seeking comfort. He would never again ask you to help him with his High Valyrian.
There would never again be Lucerys, that lively boy, at times unsure of himself, at times full of mischief.
Was it your fault? A part of you could not help but lay the blame upon yourself. A hundred of other paths raced through your mind. What if you had stayed with Aemond despite all ? Could you have dissuaded him from attacking your little brother? And what if you had gone with Lucerys to Storm’s End, as he had asked you to, because he was afraid ? Could you have protected him? You had failed in your role as elder sister. You had not been there, and he had died all alone. In fear, and in the icy grip of death.
Jace had tried to keep his composure when he returned, after having won alliances on Rhaenyra’s behalf. The North. The Vale. The Freys. His shoulders thrown back, he swallowed his tears, each step harder than the last as he fought to hold them back. In the deathly silence hanging within the walls of Dragostone, only the steady sound of his footsteps echoed.
- Lady Jeyne Arryn has pledged her support, in exchange for a dragon to guard the Vale.
Despite all his efforts to remain dignified, you could mark the faint tremors in his voice, the ones that betrayed what he truly felt. He strove so hard to remain composed, to do what was expected of him – of a king.
But he could no longer fight grief that overwhelmed him, and he collapsed into his mother’s arms just as you had done moments before. He bore the weight of guilt crushing his shoulders just as much as you did – you knew that. He, too, blamed himself for not having been there, for not having been able to shield his little brother. He thought, as you did, that he had failed. That perhaps he might have changed the outcome. He hated himself just as much as you hated yourself.
- Jace, you whispered, taking him in your arms, pressing your body against his. He smelled of a blend of leather, dragon and sweat, but that mattered not ; you needed him close to you. Jace, I am so sorry.
His hand found your hair. He buried his face in your long, loose curls and tightened his embrace around your body as though he feared you might vanish too. You fell to your knees, and he sank down beside you. You could no longer hold back the tears you had held in for so long, nor all the sorrow, anger, injustice, nor all the rage, despair and hatred you had gathered within you. All those feelings exploded alongside your tears.
- I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry.
That was all you could keep repeating. He stroked your hair and you clung to him, desperate. You had tried to be strong. You had really tried.
- I know, he whispered, planting a kiss on the top of your head. He was weeping, too. It is not your fault.
Perhaps he was talking to himself. Perhaps he was trying to convince himself more than you. Either way, something irreparable had broken within both of you.
*** *** ***
As night fell, Dragonstone was plunged into silence, broken only by the sound of the waves. Driven by the wind, they crashed against the rocks with a wild roar. You stared at them, seated with your elbows resting on the cold windowsill of your chamber. It was the same expanse of salt water that had claimed what remained of your little brother’s body. It was the same storm that had led him to his end. You pictured his small body, alone, amid the raging sea, and you could not stop the tears rising in the corners of your eyes. You had been the only one among your siblings who loved the sea, but now you were not sure if you could set foot upon a ship again. Everything would ceaselessly remind you of him.
The door opened behind you and you immediately recognised the sound of steady, confident footsteps.
- You should be sleeping.
You shrugged, not troubling to answer. Your chin resting on your folded arms, you simply kept your gaze fixed ahead. You did not want to see the pity in his eyes, nor hear him repeat words you did not believe.
- I cannot sleep.
How could you, when such horrific visions filled your mind the moment your eyes closed ?
- I thought as much. I wished to check if you… if you were holding up.
He moved closer until he stood behind you. He carried about him a reassuring presence. You knew it had not been easy for him either. After word came of Luke’s death, he threw himself heart and soul into readying for what was to come. And what was to come inevitably included war. The thought made you wince. With war came ruin, bloodshed and… and more deaths, of course. But Jace burned with purpose. Together with Corlys and Daemon, he started devising strategies designed to secure Rhaenyra’s victory.
The thought of celebrating your wedding amid such chaos seemed absurd to you. You were to be sent north, where you would be safe, whilst your brother, whilst Baela, whilst your mother and all the others risked their lives.
Was it not your rightful place at their side? You were not made of glass. You could help. You could avenge Luke.
You were going mad.
Jace wrapped his arms around your shoulders. He drew you gently towards him, until your upper body and the back of your head were resting against his chest. You raised your eyes. You could see him upside down. You stayed like that for a moment. You against him. His eyes in yours.
He leaned forward, his curls tickling your face, and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You wanted him to go on : to trace your nose with the tip of his lips, to move down to your mouth, to seal your lips together. You needed him like that.
- You can talk to me.
You knew that. But what could you say ? No words would bring your little brother back to life.
- I know.
Your nose brushed against Jace’s and you shaped a small smile. You hesitated a moment, biting the inside of your cheek.
- Stay with me tonight.
There. It was said. It was not quite a command, nor quite a question. It was more a need. A necessity.
The same you had felt weeks ago.
- Please, you added.
- Very well. I stay.
- Thank you.
He caressed your face, tracing the shape of your nose with his thumb, then your parted lips, your throat. He needed your presence as much as you needed his. It was no chance that had brought him to your chamber. He had deliberately sought your presence. You were is solace.
- You know I will not let what befell Lucerys befall you.
His eyes shone with seriousness. He wore his big-brother demeanour, the one he took on when he acted as if he were the eldest. It was like a game between you - you had always end in bickering over who had been born first.
- Do not trouble yourself over me.
His face was so near now. Fuck. You could make out those long lashes framing his eyes, his straight nose, his beautifully shaped lips and his delicately arched eyebrows. How could you stop the heat spreading through your body? How could you stop this desire from consuming you from within?
- You’re my sister. Of course I shall always worry for you, fool.
You hesitated to close the space between you. You hesitated, and then it was already too late. A twinge of regret gripped your heart, but you convinced yourself it was for the best.
Later, when you lay down in your bed, he curled up behind you as he always did. You could not bring yourself to close your eyes. The images were still there, despite your brother’s presence. Once, simply being there for one another had been enough to chase away the demons that haunted either of you. But those days were long past.
He had his arm around you, his hand absently resting on your breast, and he held you close against him. You moved back a little, rubbing your bottom against his lower stomach. You knew he was not asleep. You could feel that he was not asleep. On the contrary, he was wide awake, his erection poking against your bottom.
- Do not. It is uncomfortable enough already, sister.
But you were not listening to him. You did it again, deliberately, to provoke him, to push him to his limits, so that he could finally release the tension he had built up. It had become your way of finding solace: in each other’s arms. What you were doing was perhaps wrong, perhaps a sin, but who cares? It was your secret. The two of you alone.
So you turned to face him, your nose brushing against his. You cupped his cheek, and your lips whispered against his the same words they had whispered weeks ago.
- We should not.
He knew it, yet he made no move to stop you. Your hands slid slowly down his chest and lifted the linen fabric of his tunic to caress his lower abdomen, seeking the object of your desire. Your fingers brushed the line of fine hair that disappeared into the waistband of his breeches.
- No, we should not, he repeated, panting, subtly shifting his hips in search of contact.
His forehead pressed against yours. Eyes closed, he tried to fight the passion that consumed him, he tried not to yield. For if he did, it would be too late.
Your lips melted against his, cutting off what he was about to say. It was all the invitation he needed to draw you beneath him, his hands cupping your face as he deepened the kiss passionately. He had missed you. He had missed you so much. His body over yours, his lips against yours - only then did the nightmares fall silent. Fuck. You needed to be united with him, to become one with him, to feel him inside of you so you could be whole again and mend all those little pieces that had shattered inside your heart.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Jace rained kisses down your throat, then along your collarbone. He slipped off your nightdress, revealing your small breasts, which he knew so well. He mapped them out with his lips once more, his tongue caressing your hardened nipples. Between your thighs, a familiar, feverish heat spread, becoming almost unbearable.
- Jace. I need you inside. Please. I fucking need you.
- I know. Just a little more patience.
But you ran out of patience. And even more so when your brother slid his fingers down your stomach, down to your thighs. You instinctively spread your legs apart, and he traced the sensitive skin on the inside of your upper thighs before moving back up, slowly. With his fingertips, he collected your moisture at the very entrance to your opening. Then, he traced the length of your slit, between your folds, and found your clit. You moved your hips. It was not enough. The small circular movements against your button were not enough.
- You are doing well, he whispered against your ear. How many?
- Th-three. I- I can take three.
Jace did not wait any longer. His fingers entered you. Not one after the other, as he usually did, but all three at once. They stretched you so well. You could feel him, against your inner walls. Inside. Deep inside. You clung to him, moving your hips to show him you could take more. His fingers rubbed a spot that sent waves of delightful warmth through your entire body. You wished it would never stop.
- Jace, I’m close. I think I’m going to -
- No. Not yet, he said, pulling his fingers away to stop you from reaching your climax.
He wanted it to happen around him. He wanted you to be united in the most complete way possible.
Soon, he dropped his breeches to the floor and settled himself between your legs. With his right hand, he guided his length towards your crotch, gathering your wetness with its round, glistening tip. You lifted your hips, as if to help him find the best angle. Finally, he entered you with a long thrust, uniting your bodies, and your arms closed behind the nape of his neck.
It felt so good, to have him inside you, right there. It felt so good to feel whole again.
It was a form of solace. Of security. Of peace.
In the beam of moonlight, the shadow of your entwined bodies rippled against the wall in time with your movements. It was slow. It was deep. It was desperate. Jace’s forehead was pressed against yours, your breath mingling in the thin air between your lips. You tried to pull him closer to you as he continued to move in and out of you.
At that precise moment, nothing else existed apart from you and your twin brother, apart from your bodies pressed against one another, apart from him inside of you and the feeling of being exactly where you were meant to be. The bond that united you was stronger than anything, and no one could ever understand it. You were more than siblings, more than lovers. You shared a single soul.
- I love you, he breathed against your lips. I love you more than anything. Never forget that.
Your lips found their other half once more, and you kissed him as if you were running out of breath.
- I love you too, brother, you repeated between kisses.
His hair, so like yours, fell on either side of his face, veiling you both, brushing your cheeks. You had not yet released your embrace, or his lips, or anything at all.
You were almost there.
His movements, too, became increasingly sloppy, increasingly jerky. He clung to you as if he feared you might vanish. He was almost there, too. Just like you.
The pleasure washed over you, flooding your entire body. Powerful. Devastating. It was the best thing you had ever felt. Jace followed you almost immediately: he gave one last thrust before going still, deep inside you, his forehead against yours, his hand against your cheek, as his warm seed spilled into you.
He remained in that position a moment longer. Neither of you wished to risk shattering the perfection of the moment.
Because if you broke that fragile peace, then you would return to reality.
Eventually, you drew closer against him, rested your head under his chin and nestled in his arms, hoping to fall asleep. He placed one last kiss on the crown of your head before closing his eyes.
Saying goodbye to your brother when you left for the North was going to be painful.
*** *** ***
Snowflakes swirled, silently covering the roof of Winterfell with a thick layer of white The courtyard was already disappearing beneath the cold blanket of snow. Yet, it was never cold inside the castle. The fire burning in the fireplace was more than enough to warm the chamber.
You rolled onto your back, pulling the thick furs up over your body. Even though you missed Dragonstone terribly, life in the North was peaceful. Cregan Stark had proved a caring husband who, you had to admit, was an undeniably pleasant sight to behold. Different from Aemond. Different from Jace. Jace was the same height as you. But Cregan was tall and broad-shouldered, and you felt safe in his arms. He looked at you as though you were the most precious treasure in the world.
He had promised Jace that he would take good care of you.
As well as his handsome appearance and friendly personality, Cregan had a great sense of humour. You could tease him freely, without fear of offending him, unlike Aemond who tended to be susceptible. He laughed often. He ate well. He loved feasts. Although the North was cold, life there was warm, and everyone had been so kind to you. You had been welcomed as if you had always been one of them. A Stark.
On your wedding day, Cregan took you to a secluded hot spring that only he knew about. Your cheeks flushed at the memory of how he had made love to you that day. His slow but powerful movements, his warm body against yours, under the water. He knew what he was doing. He knew where to touch you, where to caress you to make you melt. He had been patient. Unhurried. Certain. Drawing shivers from you.
- You will be the death of me, woman, he teased, still drunk on you, catching his breath after his orgasm.
Despite the peaceful life you led on the far side of the world, your thoughts kept returning to your family. To Jace. You missed him more than anything, and you could not help but fear : what if you were not there to protect Joffrey? Aegon or Viserys? You knew they were in safe hands with Rhaena, but your role as the eldest had left the heavy weight of duty upon your shoulders.
- This bed is too comfortable. I never wish to rise again.
The bed shifted beside you. Your thoughts were interrupted by a voice you knew well. You raised your eyebrows and turned your head to find those familiar brown eyes staring at you. Jace had come to visit you as soon as he could.
- We still have time, you replied, a touch of mischief in your voice.
Jace moved closer to you and rolled onto his stomach to face you. He propped himself up slightly on one forearm, letting the furs slide down his bare chest. He wished to admire you some more, whilst he still could, taking in every feature of your face. He could not fathom how anyone could look so beautiful upon waking, but perhaps you the gods had simply favoured you. His fingers caught one of your locks, which he tucked behind your ear, brushing against the skin of your cheekbones.
- He is nice, is he not ? your brother asked, absent-mindedly stroking your soft skin. Cregan, I mean.
Between your thighs, your core throbbed with longing for your brother. The seed he had poured into you a few hours earlier, when he had fucked you as if it were the last time he would ever see you, was now cold and trickling out of you.
- He is, you replied sincerely. I do like him well.
But I love you more, you wanted to say. The unspoken words hung in the air above you. Jace knew it – somehow, he always did. Perhaps in another life, you would not be condemned to live your love in secrecy and lies? Perhaps in another life, he could love you openly and make you his wife?
For now, all he had hoped for was that you would find a charming and kind husband, and Cregan exceeded his expectations. More than a caring husband, he was a friend. At least he knew you were safe, he knew Cregan would not hurt you. He would cherish you. He would love you.
For your part, you knew that Baela was the perfect wife for Jace. She was beautiful. She was kind. She was brave. And above all, she would make a wonderful queen by his side.
Perhaps it was for the best. Perhaps it was better to avoid saying things that would end up doing more harm than good.
Love was sometimes a cruel thing.
- Come here, Jace said quietly, drawing you into his arms. He kissed you, slow and unhurried, his warm, full lips resting gently against yours. You said there is time yet.
*** *** ***
When had you returned to your chamber ? You cannot recall walking there. You remember only staring at that lifeless form before you – you cannot bring yourself to think his name. It is too painful. If you name the body, then he is truly dead, and this you cannot accept.
You lie upon your bed. You are not beneath the sheets, you are not in your nightdress, you simply lie there. It seems to you that someone moves about near you – a maester?
She has not spoken at all, you hear them say, in the distance, like a distorted echo.
Did you cry? Did you scream? You cannot remember, but your cheeks are still damp. Your throat ache. You feel empty. Completely empty. You will never be whole again.
The knowing comes slowly. Not all at once, but in cruel small pieces. It is as though your mind begins to understand. The emptiness. The absence. The loneliness. It as though your mind realises that this is what awaits you.
And it is terrifying. It is dizzying.
You can hear the waves. The sea is no longer so calm as it was this morning. It rages, mirroring the anger and grief within you, and the image of your brother upon its surface, desperate amid that vast water, takes shape behind your eyelids. You picture him losing his footing, pierced by the arrows on the battlefield. You picture him swallowed by the water. The waves. You hate that sound now. You cannot understand how you once loved it, how that very sound once lulled you to sleep, once banished your fears.
At least you will never hear it in the North again. The snow made no sound.
You would never return to Dragonstone.
- They found this pendant in Jace’s gambeson.
Your mother’s voice is gentle, despite her boundless grief. She places the necklace in you open palm. She sits beside you. Part of you longs to curl against her, to become once more the little girl in need of comfort, but you do not move. She strokes your cheek. You wonder if it hurts her to see Jace’s features upon your face. You wonder if you will ever again be able to look upon yourself in the glass without seeing him.
Your mother stands up. She leaves you to your grief a while. Your fingers close around the cold metal of the necklace.
So yesterday my girlfriend and I took part in a cosplay competition as Rhaenyra and Alicent from HOTD episode 1 Season 1 and we ended up as runners-up for the ECG selections (an international cosplay competition which final is in Paris) !! I'm so happy so I thought I'd share some pictures with you 💕
Me as Alicent and @irmawrites as Rhaenyra ❤️
Some fun facts :
- Everything is handmade, including the jewellery (made with worbla) and the book (made with eva foam, then hand bound and painted).
- My cuffs only contain 1200 beads, which I sewed by hand.
- Each flower of my dress has been hand covered with embroidery thread to get the right colour which took me HOURS
- Our skit included a quick change !!
- It looks like a small and simple dress, but my dress alone took about 260 hours of work (from patterning to embroidery to jewellery making + book painting).
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Sorry for my lack of activity! I miss writing SO MUCH and I hope to write something before Christmas!!
I'm pretty busy with a lot of things at the moment... But guess what ? I got an award for my Master's thesis!! I’m so grateful 🥺❤️
My girlfriend and I also won first prize in a cosplay competition! Now we're working on our next contest and we'll be cosplaying as Alicent and Rhaenyra 👀!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I wanted to work on chapter 3 but yesterday I got a new job as a history teacher at a high school and school starts again in... one week! So I'm pretty busy at the moment because I have to prepare all my courses but I'll try to write as soon as I can 🫶🏻
“Aegon the realm’s delight” is the saddest line ever. Aegon wants to be a daughter so bad. To be coddled and gazed upon with love and affection rather than distain and fear. Rhaenyra wishes to be a son. She wants the loyalty everyone has to be unwavering. She wants to be feared and respected like a man. They are truly two sides of the same coin.
Fio is writing @fioiswriting - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook