Finnfox

Of chasing dreams I can't quite place.

The sun still shines, the world still spins,

But none of it feels like a place to begin.

My soul feels heavy, my mind worn thin,

Like knocking on doors no one lets me in.

Even the stars seem tired tonight—

The stars came out again tonight, 

Scattered like whispers across the dark — 

And there you were, 

In every quiet glimmer. 

I stood there, breath caught, 

Watching how they burned so far away, 

Just like you — 

Distant, beautiful, 

A light I couldn’t hold. 

I wonder if you knew 

How much you shined. 

How your laughter was a constellation 

Mapping joy across my sky. 

How your kindness was a soft glow 

That kept the shadows back. 

But even stars fall, don’t they? 

Even the brightest flame 

Can burn itself out, 

And I never saw the dusk coming. 

Now I search for you in the silence, 

In the cold, in the ache, 

And find you in pinpricks of light — 

Faint, but steady, 

Far, but still here. 

If I close my eyes, 

I swear I hear your voice 

In the hush of night wind, 

Feel your warmth in the hush of memory. 

You left, but not entirely. 

You are the afterglow, 

The quiet radiance, 

The echo of something infinite. 

So when I miss you most, 

I look up. 

You were there — 

In the way a shadow stands behind you, 

Present, but cold. 

A name on paper, 

A voice too sharp, 

Hands built for work but never for holding. 

You taught me distance 

Before I knew the word, 

Showed me silence 

Like it was love. 

I learned early 

How to want without asking, 

How to shrink so you wouldn’t break me, 

How to take what little you gave 

And call it enough. 

But it never was. 

I needed softness, 

And you were stone. 

I needed arms, 

And you were walls. 

I needed a dad — 

And you were just a man 

Who gave me his name. 

I grew up searching 

For something I should’ve had, 

In every kind word, 

In every warm hand, 

In every voice that stayed gentle. 

And maybe that’s your legacy — 

The hollow space you left 

Taught me to crave fullness. 

I don’t hate you. 

But I don’t miss you either. 

Because a father is blood, 

But a dad is heart — 

We were everything once,

Laughter, secrets, boundless trust.

You were my world, my truest friend—

How did it come to this quiet end?

I told you my truth, heart in my hands,

Hoping you'd stay, hoping you'd understand.

But you turned away, chose heaven’s call,

And left me standing, watching it all.

I’m not angry—just hollow, undone,

Missing the days when we were young.

Do you remember? We dreamed so high.

Now I’m alone beneath the sky.

I wish you’d stayed, just held my hand,

That love was enough to withstand the demand.

But you’re gone, and I can only ache,