Shake The Dust

So this is a little graphic...

I can't really talk about it in public, but I really wish I could.

In 2015, I was bit by a spider in the shower. It took forever to heal, perks of keloids from being half Puerto Rican.

I had a series of bad dates, and flirtationships that lasted too long.

I had a horrible boss.

It felt like karma kept hitting me for the whole year prior.

So, when my body started to hurt in the most sensitive location, it was just another thing to deal with. I thought I had an infection.

The doctor at the health department looked, and said she thought it was a horrid skin condition called lichen sclerosis....but that I should get a biopsy from someone more experienced. So a week later, my mom's in chemo. My dad and I were there for support. I told my parents. They started googling, and looked horrified. My dad said that was fucked up, brought me to my mom's gynecologist and asked if she could see me.

She agreed with the other lady, did a biopsy....inconclusive. She gave me a cream to apply 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. Nothing changed for 4.5 years. I thought maybe I'd never have kids bc of how painful it was. I finally told my gyno I needed more help.

So in the beginning of 2020, I went to the WISH Clinic in Nashville. They diagnosed me with vulvodynia, a chronic pain condition. For me, it directly affects my cliterous. (Yep.... why I can't talk about it publicly, but you've read this far so you deserve to know...)

I drive 4 hours, 2 hours 1 direction, every month to visit WISH. I went to a physical therapist 12 times to learn ways to manage it. Today was my last day of trigger point injections in Nashville. I'll have to give it some time to see if this holistic approach is working.

It's really scary not knowing what's going down there. It's really scary not knowing if the thousands of dollars I'm paying is working. I'll be at $5,000 this month. It's fucking terrifying getting multiple injections in the most sensitive location on your body. Yes, I've screamed a few times.

I took a picture today to remember how brave I've been. I'm a fucking WARRIOR.

I am my own hero.