Words of a forgotten poet

I refuse to die

so I keep walking

walking till dirt

fills the gaps in my feet

walking as the leaves turn brown

Watching them fall

only to be replaced

green again

the crumbs from yesterday afternoon still on my hands

and I keep walking

walking through the forest

and down though grandmas house

Don’t stop to say hello

must keep walking

Don’t feel my legs

you offer a ride

but I don’t need it

didn’t earn it

And I keep walking

just keep walking

quick note: if anyone has any writing advice or suggestions please comment it I’d love some constructive feedback!

your rough hands

grasp the first light

you’ve felt in ages

years

the grass brushes against

your newly awoken skin

you stumble trying to stand

you’ve got a foot

still stuck

in that old hole

it tingles

Whispers come from

the dark

saying things you used to believe

like an old memory

so you sit

one foot in the old well

the rest in the warmth

slowly life comes back

the things creatures you used to know

crawl back

they asked you where you were

“nowhere”

the asked about your buried foot

you burry it

they help

covering the hole

muffling the voices

the dirts rubbing against your cold skin

normal

let’s be normal again

the voices don’t go away

you cover your ears

slowly the creatures come for advice

you give it

tell them a bit about your pain

So they’re not alone

brush their fur

dirt begins to crawl up again

you tell them how much better you are

laugh about that old hole

Put a boot where your foot should be

the dirt trickles up

is the ground rising?

no you can’t sink again

that’s the past

your better now

Remember?

the creatures don’t notice

you hug them

So they don’t leave again

the whispers are getting louder

that can’t be right?

another voice

from far away

you remember

can’t place it

they have your pain

“stop” they rasp

You don’t hear

you can’t hear

dirt flys out

as you gasp for breath

your finger tips paralyzed underground

growing stiff with Rocky soil

you try to get up

Weren’t you ok?

arn’t you better now?

right?

slip

cold

dark air fills your lungs

you

fall back

down

wow that was long thanks for reading

be good

I was good

I sat

I stayed

I asked questions

I did it right

they said be good

I did what they ask

they said it was wrong

noded till my feet bled and my skin dried

Don’t ask questions

I didn’t

then they found my bleeding feet

told me be good

they said ask for help

So next time

I asked for help

then they said it wasn’t bad

they said be good

so I was good

So good

They said they wanted to help

but that was just polite to say so

polite

Polite not good

some one asked me for help

I said sure

I didn’t help

that’s polite

right?

I was good

I often morn

a little life

A time far away

a place that used to be

hidden away

in a town I’ll never go back to

I have memories of then

but only that

that’s all they’ll ever be

I forgot to take pictures

forgot to breath the air

I though would always be there

and still time

comes and goes

the further away

they get

I often morn

what could have been

if time

and change

hadn’t taken it’s toll

I think we’d still be friends

I hope so anyways

I’d like to think

Maybe we’d have

a rough patch or two

but we’d always make up

skipping though the flowers

or autumn air

but instead

I look though tinted glass

at a life

I have only pieces of

of a person I don’t know

and will probably never know again

I often morn what could have been

if disease

and land

and life

never got in our way

maybe some day we’ll meet again

in another life

they told us

we were special

our differences make us beautiful

before they put targets on our backs

they told us

work hard

to serve our home

then they took our home

away

they told us we were special

before they striped us of our colors

they said it gets better

and it did

but most of us

never

made it

that

far

And then they forgot

or rather ignored

what happened all thouse years ago

the past

is the past

let it stay that way

But

our

history

always

comes

monster

is what they called me

so

a Monster

is what I became

inhuman

I hissed i screened

Though the cage

I built for myself

The bars rattled

my teeth colliding into them

it didn’t hurt anyone

but myself

they strolled past

marveling at my hideous sight

looking away as I screamed

my ribs cracking

into dust

Terrifiing them enough

to make a scream escape

but not from danger

just enough

For them to give

a five star review

for the wonderful

I’d get hurt

something so bad

I’d be left

crippled and twisted

incapable

screeching though open wounds

gasping for a breath

that never comes

Hey are you

playing pretend?

let me be the victim

the one with the tragic backstory

no one has the heart to read

let me look like my broken soul

Can I be the one to die a tragic death at the end?

I’m not sure if I believe in god

but can they break my legs

and cut me to

unfixable pieces

never to be back together again

but don’t you worry about me

please

if you need a sacrifice

let me do it

I’m not of much use anyway

can’t breathe

because when I do

nothing is holding me back

I’m afraid I’ll breathe so hard

I can’t anymore

I’ll live too much

I’ll have nothing left to give

that’s why I can’t fly too high

or laugh too much

that’s why

I won’t

break these chains binding me

to this floor

because who am I?

when they break

I can’t love to hard

because what if love cuts my chains

what is I fly too high

and my wings melt in the sun

I can’t be a star

because then I’ll fall

and drown in the sea

and someone

will catch

and then we’ll both fall

Numb little bug

didn’t cry

numb bug sang

danced

laughed

numb bug stubbed thier toe

keeped walking

Everyone said numb bug happy

“Quirky” they said

So confident

someone threw a rock at numb bug

numb bug didn’t flinch

numb bug skiped

doesn’t care what they think

numb bug’s birthday came

everyone sang

numb bug did too

laughed at the right times

Smiled like they owned the world

but numb bug carried a weight

couldn’t feel happy

numb bugs pet died

didn’t cry

not sad

but numb bug loved pet

why can’t they just be sad?!!

numb bug shrugs

Something cracks in bug

Bug runs

(in case your wondering yes I wrote it like a poorly written children’s book on purpose >:) )

remember

child

you are lucky

don’t speak

it’ll keep you safe

it’s a privilege to feel

this pain

you are lucky

child

when they ripe away the only sol you have

and seize it to bury

Down deep

remember that child

when they lie

when they cheat

remember you stay

silent

if you speak up

your words won’t matter

remember child

you are lucky

when you cower and crouch

At our feet

Remember child

that you are lucky

you don’t have to do this

do as we say

and you’ll be ok

we’ll tell you how to feel

you don’t have to

you are lucky

your wounds may grow

But you’re still Alive

remember child

you are lucky

The voices cloud my vision

As my shoes hit the floor

Cracking with every breath

I can hear them

screaming

something

not sure what

you’re looking at me

arn’t you

no you can’t be

where are you?

where am i?

space is a funny thing

and I am all alone in it

but there’s people looking again

though broken glass

they laugh

are they laughing at me?

no I am surly not that important

why would they care if I fall

Out of this world

I am just a fly

gasping

for breath

do you ever lose yourself so much

that every breath

you take feels like a lie

every step a ghost

of what should be there

do you ever lose yourself so much

that you look up at the sky

and wish to be there

do you ever do much

that your hands grasp you

from your self dug hole

and lift from your broken roots

only to fall again

deeper

but you try anyway

you bury your shovel

try not to look

as your rugged hands

touch the dirt to climb

you fall

but you saw the light

it gets better

that’s what they all say

but not with time

it gets better when you have something to fight for

you try again

every glisms of light

warms your face

as you fall back down

the dirt blackens your lungs

but you climb anyway

it will all be worth it one day

won’t it?

I poison myself with good intent

it numbs the pain

so I can’t feel

I write poetry no one reads

the animal inside me

can’t leave

it would rumble

it would shake

it would break

my glass bubble

It would tear my world

then everything would change

no

NO

it must hide

it crys

it bangs the glass

I hold my breath

your words hurt

like an iron punch to the stomach

disappointment seeps though my feet

you laugh

you smile

I stand still

frozen in place

my only thought

RUN

but I can’t run you’ll catch me

And yet

I did everything you said

you’ll laugh

I’ll cry

my mask gone

my feet sink to the floor

I can’t yell

so i smile

often

in the silent dark

when I can’t hear a single the heartbeat of a sol

on the horizon

I whisper

whisper to the crickets

chirping in the reeds

whisper to the dog still awake next door

whisper to anything under the moon

willing to listen

but not those desperate to hear it most

whisper my worries

till all that’s left is a shadow

whisper till the sun rises

and morning come

to bottle them up again

only to whisper the next night

kisses on the cheek

“oh how much you’ve grown”

Empty words

from empty people

there’s an elephant in the room

and I’m the elephant

yet I wish it’d go away

brace for impact

heart beats faster

“why she wear the boy clothes”

from an old raspy voice in the back

“she better not be one of them”

hisssess like a snake

voices fill my ears

try to fight

but my mouth’s taped shut

Can’t leave

tied to the chair

Allys become sharp

air bitter as grape fruit from my grandfather’s garden

can’t breathe

Gasp for air

silence replaces my breath

fake smile

Fake face

gotta be the reliable one

mama says I’m lonely

so I make fake friends

fake friends say I’m stupid so I get on the internet

make a fake self

teacher says on the internet you gotta know what fake and what’s not

but if I’m fake what does it matter anyways

maybe I should be an actor

but I’m alway acting

have fake friends so I build a fake village

then I fake burn it down

guess I gotta fake pretty now too