Maybe my sbusive ex was right...

It seems like I keep falling for someone who can’t return the feelings. I always pour so much into someone and they just can’t seem to return it. I’m always losing out. I never learn how to control my feelings and self when I’m in a relationship with someone. I’m always all in or nothing at all...

I sure know how to pick’em. It never fails.

My heart feels heavy. I’m drowning in my sorrows. When will this pass.. .

I read my therapist’snotes from the last time I’ve seen her. (It’s been a year and seven months since I’ve been to therapy). Reading 30 pages, broke me, I know living in a toxic environment can cause someone a lot of pain. I thought I was an exception . Since I’m a psych major in all, I studied the best way to manage stress. I was wrong, completely. I’m not fixed I don’t think we can ever be deemed “fixed”. But all I’m saying is I’m in a better mental state then I was. I still have a long way to go, but I’m not going to focus on the negatives. This vent just something I wanted to prove to myself that I have come a long way. That there are better days and will be better days. I am in control of my life. If I just do.