FILIORUM EX DEORUM

Something I’ve noticed in the RP community is that we expect our RP partners to be writing machines. We expect them to churn out a reply almost immediately after we post ours, be on when we are, always send us memes, et cetera. Here’s the thing: our RP partners are not machines. They are human beings who need to be respected for more than their ability to write. Other than the usual “your RP partners may not feel like replying at the moment,” here are some things to respect them for, and remember when you’re RPing:

Respect that your RP partner may be in school.

Respect that your RP partner may be employed.

Respect that your RP partner may have at least one physical illness.

Respect that your RP partner may have at least one mental illness.

Respect that your RP partner may have friends outside of tumblr.

Respect that your RP partner may have a family outside of tumblr.

Respect that your RP partner may be a parent.

Respect that your RP partner may have hobbies outside of tumblr.

Respect that your RP partner may have religious obligations.

Respect that your RP partner may not always have internet, or computer access.

Respect that your RP partner may be going through a difficult life situation.

Respect that your RP partner does not have to disclose everything happening in their personal life to you.

Too often, it’s easy to say “no one RPs with me” or “no one ships with me” or “no one sends me anything” without considering any of the above, or even more circumstances your RP partner(s) may be dealing with. Too often, it’s easy to say one of those things, and not consider how the other person feels when reading it. Someone dealing with at least one of these circumstances can feel guilty for not replying right away, sending something, et cetera, or feel like they have to once they see their partner is unhappy. 

I know I do when I see things like that on my dash.

When you start feeling guilty for not doing something that is part of your hobby, or feeling like you have to do something that is supposed to be fun, it stops being fun. It feels like a job. I know when I feel obligated to do a reply for a person, I drag my feet. I do not feel excited about the RP as much anymore. Even if they say, “Sure, I’ll wait,” I see them post elsewhere that no one sends them things, or no one RPs with them. The guilt turns on. I feel like I have to reply. It’s a passive-aggressive tactic that a person may not even be aware that they’re doing. No matter what, though, it needs to stop.

All in all, we need to show more kindness and patience towards our RP partners. The best relationships I have on this website are the ones where we treat each other with not only that, but with mutual respect. We also communicate regularly, and tell each other if we need to hold onto replies. I feel relieved knowing I can go to my RP partners, and tell them to hold onto my replies because I’m not feeling well, and I don’t know when I will be. It is an amazing feeling. We need more of that on this website, and less expecting one another to be robots.