Hey

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

thats not how they told it

History is written by victors

yeah well Victor fucking bit me

vampire stake to the heart wont work if your tits are big enough

Yeah, you just catch it

Nah nah nah, deflects it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit.

Then I just use a spear instead.

you are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas and for what. why would you do that to the ecosystem

ngl i love seeing boobs. gotta be in my top ten

murder is bad? even if i say sorry afterwards? even if i am an anime girl.

ummmm hey sorry if this is stupid , but the earth has like mountains and valleys and stuff. you know? so i dont see, how can it be flat? if theres mountains and stuff... sorry if its stupid. i'm sorry.

my nana thinks the earth is cube and mountains are the corners

Tell you nana to text me

me: *overestimates the length of a yellow light and completely 100% runs a red light* me while driving away: I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I

Look, someone’s gotta be the weirdest person in any given social group and it might as well be me

any kiss could be the kiss of death depending on the severity of your allergies and what your kissing partner has been eating

Or if they have a knife for a tounge

yeah. or if they have a knife for a tongue.

thank you for sending assassins after me btw i really needed that. it meant a lot to me

i am a girlboss i am a war criminal i am a lunatic . i am clinically insane & the next virgin mary & i am never going to die

u will never have gf u are just a portly boy in a sailor suit carrying a huge lollipop

Girl I can make that pussy creak

they should invent some sort of instant snack for women. a kind of snack that is instantly ready and available to consume instantly, for women and girls. a food meal, made of snacks, that can be instantly consumed and filling you to full fullness, that only girls, women, and ladies can eat. i just think they should make this.

Pussy

you are so right queen

Girls who say "yeah yeah I hear ya" When the oven beeps to show its done preheating