fieryflaw

It occurred to me just now that I might have a garden seed addiction…. https://www.rareseeds.com/ This is my latest shipment from Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds. I’m super excited!! Now I just need to find space and time to plant it….along with the 200 or so seed packs I have. My biggest issue going into this gardening season was how to store all these seed packets!!! I researched and asked my…

Best Sellers in Lawn and Garden I have had the worst time with starting seeds indoors. So far this year has been the best yet but I’m still not quite sure my little seedlings will make it. At this point the best I can do is go in there and sing to them and send them some good vibing energy. BUT I did figure something out that I will use from now on that I consider fail-proof. I stumbled on a…

I wrote this several years ago and found it in my drafts along with other writings that I didn’t have the courage to post. So I’m posting them now….. 2019 The pressure to go back to work is suffocating. Let me backtrack a minute. I wanted to quit my job before I went to in-patient treatment at the Center of Excellence (COE) in Marlboro, Maryland that is specifically for firefighters. Quit or…

You can’t heal yourself in a messy environment

I just realized that I will never resolve all the traumas from my past job while living in an atmosphere that is a complete mess. Literally. I wonder why I am never truly happy. I fake my way through everything for the sake of other people. Meanwhile beating myself up for the fact that I can’t get it all done. Yet I hold no one else accountable. I just take on their mess as well. But I can no…

For F$&k Sake

I was so proud of us! My husband, 2 kids, and I FINALLY going to make it to a family gathering on time, 1:00pm. Only for my mom to call and ask where we were because the gathering started at 12:00pm.

It’s one of those days

I’m so tired of feeling lost. Wandering around in different directions. All these ideas, yet no idea how to follow any type of organized plan. Every day my brain is different. It’s either all in, shut down, or all over the place. I have everything I need except what? I don’t even know what to name what I’m missing. Is it motivation? Is it desire? Is it education? Is it luck? Is it money? I have…

Rat-race pace: Part 1

Preface: I found this in my drafts from 2019. I had returned home from a 45 day stay at the Center for Excellence (COE) in Marlboro, Maryland, an in-patient mental health facility for firefighters and paramedics. The center was created and is sponsored by The International Association of Fire Fighters (IAFF). The program and therapy methods are specifically for first responders. I was beyond…

I love my Duluth overalls though!

This is what I had hoped I’d look like in my Duluth Tading Co. rootstock overalls….. Duluth Trading Company Duluth Trading Company Duluth Trading Company What my reality is…. These bad boys are so comfortable that I don’t care what I look like. I’m a proud member of frumpy gardeners! Get out and take in some fresh air and sunshine!

Who needs a niche? Apparently, I do. Every day I am stumped on what to write about. I guess it’s the attention deficit part of CPTSD. I’m all over the place with a brain that talks too loud unless I’m asleep. And even this it is still running and I see that it is through my whacky dreams. Part of me would love to do this full time since I’m now retired and have zero idea what to do next. Working…