💪👊Sassy, Southern, & Sweating Like a Mother 👊💪

I’ve recently gotten over COVID (our entire house had it!), and I’m realizing how close I am to my purpose in life. I’ve found God more this past year after losing my dad to the coronavirus and almost having a pacemaker put in (that I didn’t even need!) at just 28 years old. 

My family and I have been through so much, and this mama is finally back in the game and back making a steady income. I want to give you all the things here and all the info. Videos, tips, tricks, try ons, reviews, books, all the things I love. 

I’m currently recovering from a slightly invasive procedure where they checked my heart after having COVID, and so much is so clear to me now. Spending almost 2 whole weeks in the hospital with only one familiar person does that to you. I prayed, I trained, I rested. I feel renewed, and I’m going to start living the life I want and have dreamed of forever. Dreams and goals don’t wait. If you aren’t living, or are waiting until you retire, STOP. Do the damn things NOW. Because what if you died walking out your front door tomorrow and missed your entire life? 

When I started this journey, the FIRST time, it was because life had gotten the better of me after college. I mean, after having my second child my senior year of college, I dropped all the baby fat and was in the best shape of my life and the smallest I have ever been at 4 ft 8, 112 lbs, wearing size 1 since my hips spread more and I couldn’t fit in anything smaller even if I tried really freaking hard.haha

It took me just 6 months to get to the heaviest I have ever been. Even heavier than when I was pregnant (either time). I was 4 ft 8 weighing 150. Flash forward to 4 years later, and I still have the BS in Kinesiology (in other words the education to know what I need to do in order to succeed and stay on track with my health and wellness), though I still don’t have “ACSM CPT” next to my name just yet.

I got back on track for almost a full year, lost 20 lbs, then one day I finally go in to take my exam to become a personal trainer...and I fail. By 4 points. This set my mind in a negative for at least a week. I tried to stay busy cleaning, trying to find a way back to work, finding a babysitter, anything but taking care of myself. It destroyed me, made me question everything I’ve done because I knew the info like the back of my hand. I’ve studied this for 9 years of my life, and I should have passed it. I’m not even sure what I missed or if I need to just move on because I have no clue what I’m talking about.

I know this is what I want to do, and this is what I’m going to do. Starting with me.

Right now, I have gained back all the 20 lbs had lost and am at 150 lbs again. There’s nowhere to go but up (or down if we’re looking at it weight wise). Though I do have to say, THROW OUT THE SCALES YALL. They won’t help your mentality and can hinder your fat loss by checking frequently as it does tend to stress people out. Stress can easily = weight gain or a stalemate in loss. (Reason I don’t own one because this happened to me)

I know these journeys can be complicated, confusing, heartbreaking, hard, and yet, oh so rewarding. I had the positivity, the confidence, the fuel, and the fire to encourage others to start their own journeys. Then, I fell off. I refuse to let that happen again. It’s been 2 months since I have had a great workout, 2 months since I’ve stretched. 2 months since I felt okay and felt like me. I don’t ever want to not feel like myself, I never want to have that negativity or the anxiety and depression that has crept its way back into my life and mind. I keep blaming it on work and all the things I have to do in a day all by myself while taking care of 6 animals and 2 kids. But it’s all on me. I need to hold myself accountable and I will from now on. Today starts my journey. I’ve set up a schedule for my physical and mental health, for my studying, for my blogging and side hustles, and even for taking care of my home. Today I am in control and I will get back on track and show everyone that I believe in myself and what I am capable of.

Throughout my entire fitness, spiritual, and mental health issues and through all my schooling and studying I’ve only had a few people at my side who believed in me still. After failing that test I had just one, my sister, because I didn’t even believe in me. That stops now. I have a Facebook accountability group and my own private fitness journey Instagram pretty much for myself to keep me accountable.

Remember: “You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important”

This was supposed to post for #SelfCareSunday but it didn’t due to our power outage lol

Here I am, trying to rewrite the lost post. I hope it comes out as intended. I’ve noticed overthinking usually makes it not so. Here goes nothing yall.

Last week, I was so lost in my depression, anxiety, and fear of the future. Not just for me, but my family, our finances, and my career. 

Do you ever have those days where other people’s accomplishments just make yours pale in comparison or make your successes seem like failures? Yeah, that’s me pretty much every other day, or nearly every day when I’m in a bad place. 

Add the rain to coincide with my emotions, and I was an absolute MESS. 

I started out trying really hard to stay motivated that Monday and decided to go for my daily run/walk, though this time I definitely didn’t run or jog. I ONLY WALKED. Because I was barely hanging on. I lost my temper more than I’d like to admit with my children, then I would turn around and explain to them I was trying very hard to be the best mom I could be for them and to them. They are so understanding and compassionate. They just wanted to do all they could to help me get through this depression day. 

Tuesday was no easier, that’s for sure. So I tried a meditation, getting back on track with my ACV morning cocktail (not a real one yall. haha, promise!), and doing a daily affirmation list and devotional along with my grateful journal. I also tried the walk again and didn’t feel motivated enough to run for a second day in a row. 

Wednesday was awful. I didn’t walk/jog/run or even work out. AT. ALL.

I felt like absolute crap. 

But I was determined to have a good day. So I faked it until I made it. And eventually I was having a great day, and I had time to study for my exam. 

Now, let me just tell you how horrible Thursday was to me.haha AWFUL. All capital letters. AWFUL. I took my test at 8 am last Thursday and FAILED. By FOUR POINTS. My thoughts weren’t, “ Dang, I was so close! Only 4 points! I thought I had this but I guess I need to study just a little more and try again.”. My thoughts were more like, “Wow, I thought I had this in the bag and new my stuff. I reread the books 3x and went to school for this for nearly 4 whole years. I should know this like the back of my hand.”

Yall, when I say I went from 0 to 100 real quick, I ain’t lying. I was so angry and frustrated with myself. I literally got my kids, got us lunch, went home and started binge watching TV because I was at a loss. I reflected on how my past week had gone and how I had pushed so hard to make myself just keep going, wondering where that was in me now. Why can’t I just keep moving forward? (yes, that’s a Meet the Robinsons reference because I love that movie!)

I slept so easy that night, as I usually do when I am in what I call my “depression mode”, but I woke up with renewed energy. Not just because I had realized I neglected my house work but because I was afraid I would cry if I stopped moving for one second out of disappointment in myself. Though by the time I finished cleaning my entire house (literally and minus my kids room because, gross, I didn’t make that mess), I felt 1000x better. I was renewed, reawakened, and ready to take on anything. I finished up right as my hubby got off work and I studied that night a little bit. 

The point of this is that you need to push yourself sometimes. Whether that be in exercising, depression, or just reaching outside your comfort zone. Go for life, go for everything. I know it’s hard. I’ve been there and visit there often, but I get through because of my self discipline and ability to motivate myself from the inside out. I do what I do to feel good and be happy. Exercising is not just work for me. It’s what makes me happy.

Sometimes you don’t want to do the work. Sometimes you don’t want to do anything, but you use your self discipline to push through and keep moving forward (there it is again haha). We aren’t always motivated or happy and we don’t always want to stick to what we need. Use that self discipline to keep going and not give up on yourself. I am ambitious and a motivator for so many people and my kids are looking at me as an example. 

Stay positive, and give yourself those daily affirmations you need to motivate yourself. If one thing doesn’t work day one, do not give up on yourself and your journey. Time is a blessing and often times much needed. 

Didn’t mean to get so deep here, yall. The original post said all this in half the space, but you get the point. If you’ve stayed this long to read this entire post, Bless Your Ever Lovin’ Heart. I am so sorry it’s a novel. Enjoy the rest of your day though loves! 

First I'd like to thank She Speaks and St. Martin's Press (again) for the opportunity to read this amazing book. This is one everyone should read because it will definitely make you more aware of how autism can vary between people and how what makes them different is what makes them human like the rest of us.

I've had the pleasure to know a few autistic people and they are some of the best people I know. Caring and selfless. They want the best for everybody. This book develops that strong emotion that is hidden in plain sight unless you get to know someone. It shows you how the main characters grow from more of an adolescent and naive sense of security into adulthood together than separately and how understanding can go a long way.

This goes for everyone, not just those with autism, showing how kindness and understanding go a long way. Another point I love about this book is you connect so easily with the characters. At first you don't even realize one is autistic unless you are familiar with the signs that are used to diagnose. You're able to see the same situation from 2 points of view and realize we are all humans. We cope differently but can have the same feelings.

Plus I always believe in second chances.

👇👇👇Get your copy! 👇👇👇

http://bit.ly/thegirlheusedtoknow

#readthegirl #ad #StMartinsPress #SheSpeaks