What your parents told you is true: a cat licking your butt during sex is an instant boner-killer for both parties

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What your parents told you is true: a cat licking your butt during sex is an instant boner-killer for both parties

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Finally gonna get a chance to drink with some sci-fi and fantasy authors at CAPCLAVE this Saturday night yeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh booooiiiiiiii
So the GF likes dirty talking. Time to make a fool out of myself.
⦠āYou must have shown me real loyalty down in the Chamber. Nothing but that couldāve called Fawkes to you.ā Thatās the very first thing Dumbledore thanks and praises Harry for. Not for rescuing Ginny, or saving the school from the basilisk, or for keeping Voldemort from coming back, but for loyalty. Dumbledore judges the people he works with based first and foremost on how loyal they are to him. Not because he thinks heās all that, but because, as I said, he views people as game pieces, and you canāt have your game pieces acting up, can you? He values his pieces. He wants to advance and protect them. But he doesnāt want them running off beyond his sphere of influence and doing their own thing. I think thereās something very ambiguous about Dumbledoreās habit of seeking out desperate, socially outcast people and doing them one or two huge favors that leave them bound to him for life. Remus, Hagrid and Snape all fit that pattern, and Trelawney and Firenze appear to join the ranks in OOP. It kind of makes me wonder what Dumbledore has done for Fletcher, Moody and Shacklebolt. ā¦The problem with Sirius is, heās not loyal to Dumbledore at all; heās loyal to Harry. From Dumbledoreās point of view, itās as if heās playing wizard chess, and one of the knights suddenly decides that he doesnāt care what happens to the king, heās just going to take care of that little pawn on the left. So Dumbledore does the only thing he thinks he can do ā he sticks his recalcitrant knight into a safe, isolated corner of the board and keeps him from making any moves. Perfectly sensible and strategically sound, as long as you donāt expect your game pieces to have any pesky emotions or psychological issue that need to be taken into account. ā¦Dumbledoreās actions at Hogwarts are another symptom of his general approach. He doesnāt treat it just as a school, but also as an instrument in his strategy. People like Snape, Hagrid and Trelawny ā all lousy teachers, in very different ways ā are given their jobs as perks, because of their past of future usefulness to the Order, and because it strengthens their bonds of loyalty to Dumbledore. OTOH, look at Lupin, who is a talented teacher. Why wasnāt he hired before Harryās third year, especially given the difficulty of finding qualified DADA professors? My theory is that Dumbledore didnāt consider it necessary. As far as he knew, Lupin was already totally loyal simply because Dumbledore had allowed him to attend Hogwarts. There was no need to bribe him with a job. He was hired only when his familiarity with Sirius became an important factor. Once Sirius proved not to be a threat, Lupin was allowed to resignā¦
Thoughts on Dumbledore byĀ marinarusalka,Ā from hp-essays (via pottersir)
THIS IS SO GREAT AND SO INTERESTING AND EVEN MORE SO WHEN YOU LOOK AT SNAPEāS STORYLINE AND HEREāS WHY
Just look at Dumbledoreās behavior in The Princeās Tale - especially at the contrast between before and after Snape agreed to help him defeat Voldemort. Thereās so much emotional manipulation, so much that Dumbledore is doing to keep Snape on his side.
āThat is why ā it is for that reason ā he thinks it meansĀ Lily Evans!ā
āThe prophecy did not refer to a woman,ā said Dumbledore. āIt spoke of a boy born at the end of July ā ā
āYou know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down ā kill them all ā ā
āIf she means so much to you,ā said Dumbledore, āsurely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could youĀ not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?ā
āI have ā I have asked him ā ā
āYou disgust me,ā said Dumbledore, and Harry had never heard so much contempt in his voice. SnapeĀ seemed to shrink a little, āYou do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They canĀ die, as long as you have what you want?ā
That line, the āyou disgust meā line is SO IMPORTANT. Contrary to popular belief, Dumbledore doesnāt find Snapeās obsession love for Lily beautiful; he finds it disgusting - and understandably so. Because she āmeans so muchā to Snape that heās willing to sacrifice her family, and therefore happiness, in order to keep her alive. And, frankly, thatās gross. Dumbledore agrees.
āHide them all, then,ā he croaked. āKeep her ā them ā safe. Please.ā
āAnd what will you give me in return, Severus?ā
āIn ā in return?ā Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Harry expected him to protest, but after a longĀ moment he said, āAnything.ā
Aaaaaand Dumbledore gets himself the perfect soldier - someone who is willing to do anything.
āI thoughtā¦you were goingā¦to keep herā¦safeā¦ā
āShe and James put their faith in the wrong person,ā said Dumbledore. āRather like you, Severus.Ā Werenāt you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?ā
Also really important. Dumbledore was supposed to protect her, keep her alive, and it didnāt work out and that greatly puts Snapeās loyalty at risk. So what does Dumbledore do? Deflect. He places the blame on Snape and Voldemort here - which, Iām pretty much with him here because Snape did tell Voldemort the prophecy and Voldemort did personally kill the Potters. But this isnāt about that. This is strategy. Keep Snape guilty and keep the blame off Dumbledore by having this whole āwell there was nothing I could doā stance and thereby keep Snape both vulnerable and loyal. Make Voldemort the real enemy, someone that Snape would be willing to do anything to fight against at all cost.
āHer boy survives,ā said Dumbledore.
With a tiny jerk of the head, Snape seemed to flick off an irksome fly.
āHer son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily EvansāsĀ eyes, I am sure?ā
āDONāT!ā bellowed Snape. āGoneā¦deadā¦ā
āIs this remorse, Severus?ā
āI wishā¦I wish I were deadā¦ā
āAnd what use would that be to anyone?ā said Dumbledore coldly. āIf you loved Lily Evans, if you trulyĀ loved her, then your way forward is clear.ā
Okay so Dumbledore is definitely using Snapeās love for Lily against him - I think we can all agree with that. I mean look at how heās referring to her as āLily Evansā rather than as her married name, āLily Potter.ā Dumbledore has a very tough sell here; he wants Snape to help him protect the child of someone Snape loves and someone he hates. So he takes James out of the equation and itās all about Harryās eyes and how much they look like Lilyās and Evans. And then he takes Snapeās love and gives it a purpose.
āYou know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lilyās son.ā
āHe does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone ā ā
āThe Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does.ā
There was a long pause, and slowly Snape regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing. AtĀ last he said, āVery well. Very well. But never ā never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! SwearĀ it! I cannot bearā¦especially Potterās sonā¦I want your word!ā
āMy word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?ā Dumbledore sighed, looking down intoĀ Snapeās ferocious, anguished face.
Before it was disgusting, but now that Snapeās agreed to help him, has pledged his loyalty, Snapeās love is now ~the best part of him~
ā ā mediocre, arrogant as his father, a determined rule-breaker, delighted to find himself famous,Ā attention-seeking and impertinent ā ā
āYou see what you expect to see, Severus,ā said Dumbledore, without raising his eyes from a copy ofĀ Transfiguration Today . āOther teachers report that the boy is modest, likable, and reasonably talented.Ā Personally, I find him an engaging child.ā
Dumbledore turned a page, and said, without looking up, āKeep an eye on Quirrell, wonāt you?ā
Snape is only seeing Jamesā worst qualities in Harry (which tbh first year Harry definitely did not have) so Dumbledore brings up qualities that were, actually, found in and associated with Lily to placate him. Because Dumbledoreās biggest challenge is to make Snape forget that James is Harryās father. He then follows this up with a request.
āKarkaroffās Mark is becoming darker too. He is panicking, he fears retribution; you know how muchĀ help he gave the Ministry after the Dark Lord fell.ā Snape looked sideways at DumbledoreāsĀ crooked-nosed profile. āKarkaroff intends to flee if the Mark burns.ā
āDoes he?ā said Dumbledore softly, as Fleur Delacour and Roger Davies came giggling in from theĀ grounds. āAnd are you tempted to join him?ā
āNo,ā said Snape, his black eyes on Fleurās and Rogerās retreating figures. āI am not such a coward.ā
āNo,ā agreed Dumbledore. āYou are a braver man by far than Igor Karkaroff. You know, I sometimesĀ think we Sort too soonā¦ā
He walked away, leaving Snape looking strickenā¦
Whether you believe it or not, both Sirius and Remus have said that Snape was jealous of James - of his popularity, his talents, all the glory he received, etc. And a lot of those things are perks from being a brave Gryffindor rather than an āevilā Slytherin. Dumbledore is capitalizing on that, on Snapeās secret desires. Heās manipulating Snape because wow he thinks heās brave, he thinks heās brave enough to even be a mighty Gryffindor - something Iām sure no one has even told him before. Something heād never admit to secretly reveling in because he grew up unloved and unwanted. But it keeps him loyal, keeps him close to Dumbledore.
āI am fortunate, extremely fortunate, that I have you, Severus.ā
The power of being complimentary, my friends, is not focused on enough. (And Iām not trying to take away from the fact that Snape is a talented wizard, because I do think that, but Dumbledore is so totally manipulating him come on. What makes me say that? Because not long afterwards does he segue into asking Snape to kill him)
āIn short, the boy has had a death sentence pronounced upon him as surely as I have,ā saidĀ Dumbledore. āNow, I should have thought the natural successor to the job, once Draco fails, isĀ yourself?ā
There was a short pause.
āThat, I think, is the Dark Lordās plan.ā
āLord Voldemort foresees a moment in the near future when he will not need a spy at Hogwarts?ā
āHe believes the school will soon be in his grasp, yes.ā
āAnd if it does fall into his grasp,ā said Dumbledore, almost, it seemed, as an aside, āI have your wordĀ that you will do all in your power to protect the students at Hogwarts?ā
Snape gave a stiff nod.
Great, Dumbledore has not only a spy, but an heir.
āHe is his father over again ā ā
āIn looks, perhaps, but his deepest nature is much more like his motherās. I spend time with HarryĀ because I have things to discuss with him, information I must give him before it is too late.ā
Harry actually shares plenty of traits with James - and based on how heās spoken of James in the past, Dumbledore liked him. (And why wouldnāt he? Not only is James amazing jkalsdsalkdjasldaskdh but he was very loyal to Dumbledore) So this is for Snapeās benefit. Again, heās keeping him under control by bringing Lily into the equation and make Harry worthy enough, in Snapeās eyes, to protect.
āInformation,ā repeated Snape. āYou trust himā¦you do not trust me.ā
āIt is not a question of trust. I have, as we both know, limited time. It is essential that I give the boyĀ enough information for him to do what he needs to do.ā
āAnd why may I not have the same information?ā
āI prefer not to put all of my secrets in one basket, particularly not a basket that spends so much timeĀ dangling on the arm of Lord Voldemort.ā
āWhich I do on your orders!ā
āAnd you do it extremely well. Do not think that I underestimate the constant danger in which you placeĀ yourself, Severus. To give Voldemort what appears to be valuable information while withholding theĀ essentials is a job I would entrust to nobody but you.ā
āYet you confide much more in a boy who is incapable of Occlumency, whose magic is mediocre, andĀ who has a direct connection into the Dark Lordās mind!ā
Dumbledore is clearly making Snape angry and I donāt think itās necessarily intentional. But I do think heās trying to make sure that Snape desires and values his trust over Voldemortās. I mean, Iām sure heās double checked that he has Snapeās loyalty before, but itās safe to keep checking every now and then. But then this happens:
Snape looked angry, mutinous. Dumbledore sighed.
āCome to my office tonight, Severus, at eleven, and you shall not complain that I have no confidence inĀ youā¦ā
MUTINOUS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT WORD. DUMBLEDORE IS AT RISK OF LOSING THE BEST AND MOST ESSENTIAL PIECE TO HIS GAME, HIS MVP, SO HE HAS TO REEL HIM BACK IN.
āSo the boyā¦the boy must die?ā asked Snape quite calmly.
āAnd Voldemort himself must do it, Severus. That is essential.ā
Another long silence. Then Snape said, āI thoughtā¦all those yearsā¦that we were protecting him forĀ her. For Lily.ā
Snape is currently reevaluating his life and all of his choices. Because he thinks, if not for Lily, then what is the point of protecting Harry Potter? Why is he fighting this war? Why is he on Dumbledoreās side?
āWe have protected him because it has been essential to teach him, to raise him, to let him try hisĀ strength,ā said Dumbledore, his eyes still tight shut. āMeanwhile, the connection between them growsĀ ever stronger, a parasitic growth. Sometimes I have thought he suspects it himself. If I know him, he willĀ have arranged matters so that when he does set out to meet his death, it will truly mean the end ofĀ Voldemort.ā
Dumbledore opened his eyes. Snape looked horrified.
āYou have kept him alive so that he can die at the right moment?ā
āDonāt be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?ā
āLately, only those whom I could not save,ā said Snape. He stood up. āYou have used me.ā
Indeed he has! And after all this time, youāve finally caught on!
āI have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed toĀ be to keep Lily Potterās son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter ā ā
Uh-oh no longer Lily Evans - now she is Potter, now she and everything thatās a part of her (i.e. her son) is tainted by James. Still worth protecting? Still worth sacrificing and risking so much for? Apparently yes because this happens:
āBut this is touching, Severus,ā said Dumbledore seriously. āHave you grown to care for the boy, afterĀ all?ā
āFor him?ā shouted Snape. ā Expecto Patronum!ā
From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe. She landed on the office floor, bounded once across theĀ office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow fadedĀ he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.
āAfter all this time?ā
āAlways,ā said Snape.
Okay so obviously, if you hadnāt already caught on, Snape isnāt doing all of this for the cause or because heās repenting for being a Death Eater. Itās all for Lily. The woman he helped kill. I beg you to not find that romantic. Remember Dumbledoreās āyou disgust meā? Thatās pretty much how I feel about Snape, and I suspect that Dumbledore still feels that way. Because, as valuable as he is, Snape has not changed. And I guess it doesnāt bother him at all if heās risked and sacrificed so much for a child who will die anyway if it was all for her.
After all this time, you still do not see the value of protecting an innocent child? Always. After all this time you still cannot let go of a woman who never loved you romantically? Always. After all this time, youāre still fighting against Voldemort because he killed Lily and not because you believe in muggle-born rights? Always. Dumbledore had to have known this - I mean heād been using Snapeās love for Lily against him for how long? But Iām sure it still saddened him.
Anyway, āThe Princeās Taleā is a brilliant example of Dumbledoreās manipulation and how he used it to win a war. This is where we see him really in action - and itās fascinating. Because this is the power of loyalty - how Dumbledore could get a Death Eater so firmly on his side that he continues to do Dumbledoreās work for him after his own death. Thatās powerful.
And thatās why Voldemortās fucking scared of him. Iām kind of scared of him.
(via comealongraggedypond)
The Green Children of WoolpitĀ is an interesting story I think sixpenceee would enjoy.Ā During the troubled reign of king Stephen of England (1135-1154), there was a strange occurrence in the village of Woolpit, near Bury St. Edmunds in Suffolk. At harvest time, while the reapers were working in the fields, two young children emerged from deep ditches excavated to trap wolves, known as wolf pits (hence the name of the village). The children, a boy and a girl, had skin tinged with a green hue, and wore clothes of a strange colour, made from unfamiliar materials. They wandered around bewildered for a few minutes, before the reapers took them to the villageā¦. Read the full story here

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My life is now officially comprised solely of removing long brown and short orange hairs from my clothing
ROBERT IS A MEAN LOSER BC HE ALWAYS SAYS HEāS GONNA READ MY FIC AND THEN HE DOESNāT
The Operator
Okay, before I thought I was just being weird, but now Iām pretty sure: after a long enough make-out session with a girl, I can definitely taste her for hours afterwards. Scientifically Proven.
tag yourselves iām Psymon

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Centralia, the inspiration for Silent Hill
When you think of American ghost towns, itās likely that you picture a crumbling Wild West outpost. However, in the middle of Pennsylvania, thereās a town that disappeared far more recently. In many ghost towns, itās the collapse of an industry that caused people to leave. In Centralia, it was the industry itself that resulted in this abandoned town.
Centralia was a quaint town of over 2,000 residents in Columbia County, Pennsylvania. The large coal deposits below the ground helped turn Centralia into a bustling business center in the early parts of the 20th century. All was well until 1962, when an exposed seam of coal caught on fire during a routine trash burning at the landfill. The town was also the inspiration for the Silent Hill movie series because of its creepy foggy aesthetic.
Over the next two decades, several attempts were made to put out the underground fire, but the its virtually unlimited source of fuel made the attempts futile. Citizens of Centralia knew of the fire, but it wasnāt until 1979 that its extent was fully understood by residents and scientists. It was a local gas station owner who discovered the fireās true danger when he measured the temperature of his underground storage tanks at 172 degrees ā 100 degrees higher than normal.
A few years later, a young boy was swallowed by a large sinkhole caused by the mine fire and was lucky to survive. That incident, the increasing number of sick residents, and the rising levels of carbon monoxide spelled the end for Centralia. Over the next few decades, more and more local residents moved from Centralia. As the population decreased, buildings were torn down until almost nothing was left. Read the full article here, if you liked this click here for more creepy posts.Ā
Leap Castle is said to be the most haunted castle in Ireland. Ā It has had a horrific history with each passing century being punctuated by ferocious acts of violence. Ā One of the most gruesome murders to take place in the castle occurred in 1532 in a room above the main hall of the castle which is now know as āThe Bloody Chapelā and this is the room featured in this photograph. The original castle is thought to have been built circa 1250 and was the principal seat of the fearsome Ely OāCarroll clan. Ā Ā In the aftermath of the death of the chieftain Mulrooney OāCarroll in 1532 a bitter succession dispute arose over the leadership of the clan. Ā The dispute came to an abrupt end when āone-eyed Teige OāCarrollā who as mass was being celebrated in the room stormed in chanting holy rites and drove a sword into the back of the priest who was also his older brother Thaddeus. The fatally wounded priest fell onto the altar in front of his family and breathed his last. Ā The priestās spirit is said to haunt the Bloody Chapel and is thought to be one of Leapās earliest ghosts. Ā Even centuries later when the castle lay in state of ruin, passers-by have seen the window of the room light up suddenly late into the night.Ā
In 1922 workmen at Leap Castle found an oubliette in a secret dungeon hidden behind a wall in a corner of the Bloody Chapel. Ā When they explored the sinister dark hole further they made a horrific discovery ā there were enough human skeletons amassed on top of wooden spikes that it would take 3 cart loads to remove them. Ā Prisoners ā or unsuspected guests ā of the OāCarrolls would have been dropped down through the hidden trap door above the oubliette where they would have had their lungs punctured by the wooden spikes below. There they would be left to die a horrific death within earshot of their gracious hosts and their merriment below.Ā
One of the most infamous killings that took place at Leap Castle was also one of the most treacherous. Ā About 40 members of the northern McMahon clan had been hired by the OāCarrolls to train them in new methods of warfare. Ā The McMahon men attended a feast at the castle in celebration of a victory over a rival clan of the OāCarrolls. However the mercenaries were totally unaware that their ruthless employers had poisoned their food so as to avoid having foot the bill. Ā The ghosts of the McMahon clan are said to haunt Leap Castle to this day. For the full article, read here.
Varosha the Ghost Town
Located about two miles north of this buffer-zone was the beach resort city of Varosha, also known as Famagusta. In the early 1970s, Famagusta was one of the most popular beach holiday destinations in the world and was a favorite destination of the rich and famous. It was known for its sunny beaches, glamorous shopping and dining experiences, and excellent luxury hotels. But on July 20, 1974, at the height of the summer tourist season, the impending Turkish invasion suddenly drove all 39,000 inhabitants and hundreds of guests out of the city. Fearing a massacre, they fled and after a short battle, the city was taken by Turkish forces.
Today, the district stands as a monument to what the world would look like without its human inhabitants. Tables are still set for breakfast, model 1970s cars still sit in their garages, and designer clothing still hangs on the racks of hastily abandoned shops. Nature has begun to take over, and many of the buildings are slowly collapsing, the cars rusting, the pavement cracking and overgrown with weeds. The full article can be found here.
This is how I feel all the time
At the Mountains of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft
Out of all theĀ āshortā stories written by H.P. Lovecraft, I would have to say my favorite is by far At the Mountains of Madness, a storyĀ told in first-person perspective by the geologist William Dyer, a professor at Miskatonic University, as if in the hope to deter a planned and much publicized scientific expedition to Antarctica. Throughout the course of his explanation, Dyer relates that he led a group of scholars from Miskatonic University on a previous expedition to Antarctica, during which they discovered fantastic ruins and a dangerous secret beyond a range of mountains higher than the Himalayas.Ā
A smaller advance group, led by Professor Lake, discovered the remains of fourteen ancient life forms, unknown to science and unidentifiable as either plants or animals. Six of the specimens are badly damaged and the others pristine; whereas their stratum places them on the geologic time scale much too early for their features to evolve. When the main expedition loses contact with Lakeās party, Dyer and his colleagues investigate. Lakeās camp is devastated, and the majority of men and dogs slaughtered, while a man named Gedney and another dog are absent. Near the camp they find six star-shaped snow mounds, and one specimen under each. They discover that the better preserved life forms have vanished, and that some form of dissection experiment has been done on an unnamed man and a dog.
Dyer and a graduate student named Danforth fly an airplane over the mountains, after doing this they discover horrors behind imagination. Past the mountains they find entities and remnants of those written about only in the Necronomicon written by the mad ArabĀ Abdul Alhazred. It also alludes to some further and greater creature that even the specimens which were previously dug up feared. Itās quite lengthy and would most likely have to be spread out over a couple days unless you have a large period of time on your hands. Read At the Mountains of Madness and the rest of Lovecraftās worksĀ here. For more scary stories click here.

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So my first first-date was a surprisingly good experience. Weird for me to have a good experience, but there you have it.