Haha guess who’s back🥹 This lowk took me wayyyy too long oml, but I hope y’all will like it tho, it’s my first time ever trying to write hsr characters so bear with me💔💔💔 it might be ooc idk and im so sorry if it is.💔
This fic contains some light angst, heavily implied homophobia (or just homophobia ig), Idol! Hsr AU, Also Kevin is Phainon’s older brother cuz I wanted to give him siblings and Cyrene is his younger sister, Kevin and Cyrene are hinted at also being idols/famous, GUNSANDROSES MENTIONED (Argenti x Boothill) Idk if there’s anything else im forgetting so lowk sorry if I did😔 Parasocial fans are heavily implied btw
𝄞 Tell me, will we survive? 𝄞
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The sound of the door knob unlocking never felt so relieving to you. You had expected a greeting from your boyfriend but instead it was a quick “missed you” and a kiss to the cheek before he rushed into the kitchen and set up whatever he needed to do so badly. After he finished he headed to your room to get into much more comfortable but also clean attire. You kinda just stood by the door for a solid 2 minutes, a bit shocked but it’s not anything new by now. After letting out a sigh you decided to just go to your room and do something that might entertain you for the next 5 hours. He gave you another quick kiss while heading to the kitchen. Then a knock was heard before Phainon rushed over to open it.
Phainon’s voice could be heard through the wall of your guys’ apartment, it was lightly muffled, pretty hard to tell what he was saying. You had just stayed in the bedroom the two of you shared, at first you spent your time just scrolling through your phone but eventually that got kinda boring, to be honest, you and Phainon hadn’t been able to spend much time together given the fact that his schedule as an idol took up a majority of his time. Even if he was at home, he’d always have to do some kind of special livestream, whether it was by himself or with another member doing whatever the viewers would wanna see. This time he got to livestream with a fellow member, Mydei. The reason why is because the two of them are highly requested together, given the fact that they have great chemistry on camera, even having their own ship name “Phaidei” A part of you didn’t necessarily think some fans were unreasonable for assuming something was going on between the two, they did get along well, but you knew it was never going further than platonic and you also got along well with Mydei, so it hadn’t concerned you.
Since the feeling of boredom was starting to feel unbearable, you pulled up Phainon's livestream. Apparently him and Mydei had been baking a cake this time, the way they interacted managed to cure your boredom for a bit but it only made you miss Phainon more, the last time you two got at least 3 hours of peace was 5 days ago. But the livestream will have to do for now, however your eyelids felt rather heavy and before you knew it everything went dark.
“I wonder if (N) will enjoy this…” someone muttered, it caused you to wake up a bit, you turned expecting to see someone right next to you but the room was empty, it sounded like Phainon or maybe Mydei said it but you couldn’t really tell since you just woke up. As you headed out the shared room, all that was visible was Phainon and Mydei eating the cake they had prepared, Phainon seemed to light up at seeing you, Mydei gave you a quick smile and wave. “Come over here and try some of the cake, it’s surprisingly good!” Phainon said, it almost sounded like his voice echoed but you ignored it because he seemed really excited to show it off to you, a soft smile appeared on your face before letting out a small chuckle and getting closer to the both of them. Phainon quickly cut you a slice and handed you a fork, the cake itself actually looked decent but the decoration looked a bit odd, one side of the cake looked really sloppy and kinda messy, meanwhile the other looked neat and really clean, almost a bit professional. It was clear that Mydei had decorated the cleaner side, it made sense since Mydei bakes quite often which was kinda surprising at first but it does make sense once you get to know him.
Phainon and Mydei started to bicker about the decoration difference while you started to eat the slice you were given, it was well cooked and had a nice flavor. Nothing like the cakes Phainon had baked in his previous livestreams with other members like Argenti, Ratio, and Boothill, even the collab ones he had with his older brother and younger sister, Kevin and Cyrene. Most of the time it tasted like absolute shit but you never told him that since he always looked so happy seeing you eat it, if you got lucky it’d be “decent”, so this kinda felt like a luxury. Phainon quickly slowed his bickering and turned to you, “So how is it..?” Phainon stared as you took another bite, he stared in curiosity.
You tried messing with him a bit, slowing down your chewing to add some kind of dramatic pause, however he quickly caught on, causing him to let out a rather loud whine before he started complaining a bit. Mydei was quick to tease him, trying to convince him that you absolutely hated the cake, Phainon told him to shut up but you could tell he was definitely concerned you didn’t enjoy “his” baking despite the fact he did absolutely nothing but try ragebaiting Mydei while he worked on actually baking the cake, it was unsurprisingly successful each time though. You honestly forgot how childish Phainon could be at times, same goes with Mydei, it felt nice to finally be able to have moments like this with just the two of them again. The two started bickering again before quickly being cut off by you laughing, Phainon was a bit confused by the sudden reaction. “So did you like it..?” “Nooo I hated it.” You said with obvious sarcasm. “Wow Phainon, I suppose that ‘your’ baking is just that bad.” Mydei added, causing a small pout to appear on Phainon's face due to the teasing, it’s not often he gets teased since most of the time he’s busy ragebaiting you or Mydei, potentially both so it’s kinda cute to see Phainon pout since it isn’t a common occurrence.
After a bit, Mydei’s phone started ringing, so he quickly took the call. You managed to catch a glimpse of it, it looked like it was Aglaea, the group's manager. Both you and Phainon went quiet before quickly hearing Anaxa yell at him to which Mydei gets defensive, not knowing just what he was going on about since he hadn’t gone into much detail, Aglaea quickly calmed him down before telling Mydei something that quickly made him pause before looking over at Phainon with a rather angry and yet concerned expression.
“Did you end the stream, Phainon.”…there was a bit of silence. “I believe I did?” He sounded almost unsure before slowly reaching out for his phone and realizing he hadn’t ended the stream at all. He slowly glanced over to the comments, they were going faster than usual but it seemed that they were all talking about you, Phainon’s boyfriend. Panicked, he quickly ended it before glancing at Mydei then turning his attention back onto you. “I could’ve sworn I ended it” He muttered, much faster than his usual self. You stared at him for a bit, clearly in shock, the silence seemed to stretch on before Mydei started yelling at him. Mad that he was so careless about something as private as a relationship, nonetheless a relationship with another man, Phainon tried to defend himself but it all came out too quickly and nervously.
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As the two kept arguing, Mydei kept cursing at him and all Phainon did was stare at him in frustration, he was frustrated that Mydei was right, it really was his fault for being so careless with his own relationship, he hated the thought of losing you over his own stupidity, but also due to societies standards, two men simply can’t be in a relationship, especially not someone as perfect as Phainon. Not someone who’s idolized by everyone, who’s seen as every woman’s ideal type, the perfect man, for a woman of course. Not another man.
You ran your fingers through your hair, not knowing what to do, a part of you felt a bit mad at Phainon. The two of you had always had a pretty private relationship, though it didn’t sound ideal at first, Phainon always made it work. Even throughout his whole life, he’d always been so popular, which made sense, but when he met you, it’s like everything changed for him. Once the two of you started dating, he knew people would try to meddle between the two of you, he might’ve been oblivious at times but he wasn’t that oblivious. So he decided it would be best if the both of you tried to keep it private, letting only a few people know and mainly just kept it in that small group of people. He hated the thought of people harassing you, especially now that he’s actually famous throughout the whole world. Knowing that quiet and at least somewhat peaceful life wouldn’t be the same anymore felt frustrating and also upsetting.
Letting out a sigh of disbelief, you turned to Mydei who was still yelling and cussing at Phainon. Mydei has always been supportive of your relationship and cared deeply about the two of you. He also hated the thought of something or someone coming between you, it deeply angered him to think that two of the most important people to him would really have to go through a rough patch. Especially when Phainon was the leading cause. Phainon still looked so frustrated, even more so now, really realizing what kind of possibilities could come out of this. Mydei just let out a frustrated groan before calling Aglaea back, hoping she’d have some kind of answer, or maybe Anaxa would. Soon enough Argenti and Boothill texted Phainon, showing obvious concern, Ratio had just scolded Phainon before quickly checking up on him and asked if the two of you needed something.
Phainon saw the notifications but he couldn’t bring himself to look at his phone at the moment, knowing if he did all he’d see a bunch of stuff about you and him, he quickly turned to you, trying to figure out just what you were feeling. This had been the first time you’d seen him look so scared. You always knew Phainon had a deep fear of losing those he loved, you never really knew why exactly because you didn’t wanna pressure him into looking back at something that might cause him more harm than good. He took your hand into his, gently and slowly intertwining your fingers, giving you enough time to pull away if you wanted to. Instead, you gently squeezed his hand, knowing Phainon really hadn’t meant for any of this to happen, the frustration in you definitely toned down, you couldn’t really blame him for a simple mistake.
“I swear I didn’t mean it, (N). I promise I really didn’t.” He said, voice slightly breaking when he said your name. The sight of your lover being like this felt odd, especially when Phainon was always so calm and cheerful. “You know I wouldn’t be able to do something like that to you, right..?” “It’s fine, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. It was just a small mistake, Phainon.” He looked relieved to know you wouldn’t leave him after that, he quickly brought himself closer to you, wrapping his arms around you as he nuzzled himself into the crook of your neck. You gently ran your fingers through his hair while your other hand held onto his arm, trying some kind of way to comfort him without words.
Suddenly Mydei burst through one of the rooms and headed back to the kitchen. “Argenti and the others are on their way.” He said firmly. You gave him a nod as he looked at Phainon, you knew Mydei was just trying to care about the two of you, Phainon did too, he just does it in different ways. “It’ll all pass by Phainon, I'm sure no one would really care that much.” You say softly, a small smile on your face as you pull away a bit to look at his face. He kinda gave you a weird look while Mydei whipped his head up to look at you and gave you a look that basically called you stupid, you thought it was just because they were being a bit dramatic that their fan base would really throw that big of a deal over him dating someone. “I doubt it” He mumbled softly while Mydei just glared at you, as if he was saying you made it worse than it already was. You looked away for a bit, feeling guilty and also embarrassed for even saying that before being interrupted by very aggressive knocking and what sounded like Boothill yelling to let them in, Mydei quickly got up. “I’ll go get it.” Before he went over to open the door.
Honestly, despite the fact you would’ve really preferred keeping your own life private, you were more concerned about what would happen to Phainon’s career, you knew he worked hard. You had been with him before his trainee days, knowing how big and important being an idol was to him and how many hours he spent practicing to be able to pass, it hurt to know his career and hard work could really come to an end like this. It’d also damage the group’s reputation, the other members also worked hard for this, same with their managers. It was also concerning to know that Argenti and Boothill are also currently dating so they might end up being found out, to some fans it might not be shocking but a majority of the fanbase isn’t exactly supportive.
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