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distance between us | found family au âËàż
â©.* found family fics!
â©.* found family masterlist
summary: in which garrett struggles with the quiet ache of feeling shut out by the person he loves most, as y/n seemingly leans on everyone but him.
notes: hi!! ahh my first angst for found family, i hope you all enjoy! thank you so much for this request, it broke my heart to write đ„č
êȘà§
it starts slowly. so slowly, garrett almost convinces himself heâs imagining it.
youâve always had moments of quiet. moments where you disappeared inside your own head for a little while, where your smile softened at the edges and your answers became smaller, less detailed, like you were trying to preserve energy without admitting you were running out of it.
this feels different. this feels like watching you fold yourself smaller each day and pretending nothing is happening.
the first time he notices, youâre at the hockey house on a saturday morning, tucked into the corner of the couch with your laptop balanced on your knees, a half-empty mug of coffee cooling on the table beside you.
everyone else is loud. youâre there, technically, but not really. your eyes keep scanning the same paragraph on your screen, your fingers hover above the keyboard, your mouth pressed into a thin, tired line.
garrett watches you from the kitchen doorway. he has your favourite mug in his hand, the one you always reach for when youâre over.
he doesnât say anything at first, just crosses the room quietly, setting it down beside your laptop before leaning over the back of the couch.
âyou okay?â he asks softly. you blink like youâve been pulled back from somewhere far away. you look up at him, and your face changes too quickly. smile first, answer second.
âyeahâ you say. âjust tired.â
garrett studies you. âyou sure?â
you nod, already looking back at your laptop. âmhm.â
he doesnât push because he knows you, sometimes pushing makes you retreat further. he kisses the top of your head instead, lets his hand rest briefly against the side of your neck, thumb brushing once beneath your ear.
âeat something soon,â he murmurs.
you hum. âi will.â
you donât. he notices that too.
-
following that day, he notices everything.
garrett notices the texts that come hours later than usual, not absent, never fully absent, you still reply, still send him little updates when something funny happens, still send photos of your coffee, lecture slides, allie asleep in weird positions across your dorm bed.
but something about it feels thinner, as though youâre giving him proof of life instead of what's truly going on. he notices the way you stop coming by after class as often, the way you say you have readings to catch up on, the way you say youâre fine.
fine. fine. fine.
he starts hating the word.
one night, he calls you after practice. you answer on the fourth ring.
âhi,â you say, voice soft, clearly laced with exhaustion.
garrett leans against the wall outside the locker room, one hand still damp from his shower as he presses the phone closer to his ear.
âhey. you sound tired.â
you laugh lightly, too lightly. ârude.â
ânot an insult.â
âstill rude.â
he smiles faintly, but it fades quickly. thereâs a pause, he can hear papers shifting on your end, the quiet hum of your dorm room, the faint sound of allieâs music playing somewhere in the background.
âwhat are you doing?â he asks.
ânothing.â
garrettâs brows pull together. ânothing with papers?â
you go quiet for half a second too long, then, âjust study.â
âwant help?â
âwith law readings?â
âi can sit there and look pretty.â that gets a real laugh out of you, small, brief, but real. his chest loosens a little.
âtempting,â you say.
âi can also bring food.â
âalso tempting.â
âso say yes.â another pause, this one feels worse.
âi think iâm just gonna sleep soon,â you say. garrett looks down at the floor, he knows youâre lying, not about being tired, about sleeping.
âokay,â he says, because he doesnât know what else to do without sounding like heâs accusing you of something.
âcall me if you need anything.â
âi will.â
you wonât, he knows that too.
-
allie notices the shifts more clearly at first, mostly because living with you makes the changes harder to miss. she notices the light under your door staying on past midnight.
then one, then two. then enough that she stops thinking of it as unusual.
she notices the way your laundry piles up in the corner because you keep telling yourself youâll do it tomorrow. she notices the untouched dinners, the cold coffee, the emails open on your laptop that make your face go blank.
she tries, gently at first. ây/n,â she says one night, leaning against your doorway in one of deanâs hoodies. âwhen did you last eat something that wasnât toast?â
you donât look up from your laptop. âtoast counts.â
âthatâs not an answer.â
âit was a good answer.â
âit was a concerning answer.â
you sigh, rubbing both hands over your face. âallie.â
her expression softens, not teasing now. âyouâre scaring me a little.â
her words make you look up, guilt immediately settling into your chest. âdonât say that.â
âthen stop looking like youâre one email away from fully combusting.â
you try to smile, it doesnât work. allie steps into your room, sitting carefully on the edge of your bed.
âis this legal internship stuff?â
your throat tightens, you look back at your screen. âpartly.â
âand exams?â
âpartly.â
âand home?â
you donât answer, that is an answer in itself. allie exhales softly, âdoes garrett know?â
your fingers go still. âknow what?â
ây/n.â
you shut your laptop, not gently. âiâm handling it.â
allie gives you a look. âthat wasnât what i asked.â
âi know.â
âso?â
you stand, suddenly unable to sit still, moving around your tiny dorm room like you have somewhere to go even though there is nowhere. you grab your water bottle, unscrew the lid, screw it back on without drinking.
âhe has enough going on.â
allieâs face shifts. âoh, babe.â
you hate that, the softness, the pity. you turn away. âdonât.â
âiâm not doing anything.â
âyouâre looking at me like that.â
âlike what?â
âlike iâm sad.â
allieâs voice is careful. âyou are sad, y/n.â
your eyes burn immediately, you hate that even more. âiâm stressed,â you correct, too quickly. âthereâs a difference.â
âokay.â
âand i donât need garrett worrying about me on top of everything else. he has hockey and captain stuff and phil being weird again and-â
âheâs your boyfriend.â
âi know that.â
âdo you?â
you turn back to her. âwhat is that supposed to mean?â
allie lifts her hands slightly. ânothing. i just mean, he would want to know.â
âi know.â
âthen tell him.â
your jaw tightens. âi canât.â
allieâs face softens again. âwhy not?â
if you tell garrett, really tell him, heâll look at you like he sees all of it. you donât know if you can survive being seen that clearly.
if you say it out loud, that youâre overwhelmed, that you feel like youâre failing, that every rejection feels personal, and every conversation at home makes your chest tight, it becomes real.
garrett will care, deeply. somehow that feels like too much, for now.
âi just canât.â
allie doesnât push after that, but she remains even more worried.
-
garrett lasts another week. he tries, he really tries. he tries being patient, he tries being gentle, he tries letting you come to him when youâre ready.
every time he reaches for you, you slip away with a tired smile, a soft apology and a promise that everything is fine. the thing is, garrett knows fine. he knows your fine. he knows the difference between your annoyed fine, your sleepy fine, your 'donât want to talk about it yet' fine.
this is none of those, this is a locked door, and he is standing on the wrong side of it.
the worst part is that youâre still sweet to him. you still curl into his side when you come over, still kiss him softly, still laugh when he says something dry under his breath, still steal his hoodies and forget to give them back.
but thereâs distance, not physical, worse, emotional. you sit beside him and somehow feel incredibly far away.
it comes to a head on a friday night at the hockey house. it isnât even meant to be a big night, just dinner after practice, everyone gathered around the living room with takeout containers spread across the coffee table and a movie playing in the background that nobody is watching.
youâre tucked beside garrett on the couch, knees drawn up, his hand resting lightly on your thigh. youâve been quieter than usual. he can feel the tension in you, the way your body never fully relaxes against his, the way you keep checking your phone whenever it lights up, the way your face falls every time you read something before you smooth it over again.
he wants to ask, he has already asked, you have already lied. so he stays quiet.
dean says it. casually, carelessly, with no idea heâs stepping directly into something fragile. âoh,â dean says, pointing his fork towards you. âdid you hear back from that firm yet?â
the room keeps moving for half a second, then stops. not dramatically, not all at once, but enough.
allie freezes, sabrinaâs eyes flick towards you, logan stops mid-sentence, garrettâs hand stills on your thigh. you feel it immediately, your stomach dropping.
slowly, garrett turns his head towards you. âwhat firm?â
dean looks between you and garrett, his face changing.
âuh.â you sit up straighter. âdean.â
he lowers his fork. âshit.â
garrett doesnât look at dean anymore, only you. âwhat firm?â he repeats. his voice is calm, too calm.
you swallow. âitâs nothing.â
something shifts in garrettâs expression, not anger, not yet, hurt. quiet and immediate. âdonât do that, y/n.â
your cheeks heat. everyone is watching, even though nobody wants to be. you can feel it, you hate it.
âgarrett,â you say quietly. he removes his hand from your leg, not harshly, not dramatically, but the absence of it feels like a clear slap.
âyou applied for internships?â
your throat tightens. âyes.â
âwhen?â
you stare down at your hands. âa couple weeks ago.â
his jaw moves once. âa couple weeks.â
you donât answer. dean looks like he wants the couch to swallow him. âg,â he starts. âi didnât realise-â
âdonât,â garrett says. not sharp, not loud, just enough to stop him. dean shuts his mouth. garrett stands.
you look up quickly. âwhere are you going?â
he looks at you for a second, and it is awful. you would almost prefer anger. anger you could fight, anger you could meet with your own defensiveness, pride, hurt.
garrett just looks wounded, like something inside him has gone very still.
âupstairsâ he says.
he walks away, the room is silent after him. for one unbearable second, nobody moves. allie says your name softly. you stand before she can say anything else. âiâm fine.â
nobody believes you, you follow him anyway.
garrettâs bedroom door is half open when you get there. heâs standing by the window, one hand braced against the sill, the other pressed to the back of his neck.
his shoulders are tense. you pause in the doorway, for a second, you almost leave. not because you donât want to fix it, because you know this wonât be easy, you know heâs hurt, you know, deep down, he has every right to be.
you knock lightly, even though he already knows youâre there. garrett doesnât turn around.
âcan i come in?â you ask.
a pause.
âyeah.â
you step inside and close the door behind you. the sound feels too final.
the room is familiar in all the ways that usually comfort you. his hoodie over the desk chair, the water bottle by his bed, the framed photo tucker had taken after a home game, garrettâs arm around your shoulders, your face turned up toward him mid-laugh. you can barely look at it.
âi was going to tell youâ you say.
garrett laughs once. it's quiet, empty.
âwhen?â
you flinch. he turns around then, and his face makes your chest hurt.
he isnât yelling, he isnât furious. he just looks tired, hurt.
âi donât know,â you admit.
he huffs a laugh, shaking his head. âyou donât know.â
âiâve had a lot going on.â
âyeah,â he says, voice roughening slightly. âiâm starting to get that.â
your arms fold over your chest before you can stop them. defensive, protective. âdonât do that.â
his eyebrows draw together. âdo what?â
âmake me feel like iâve done something wrong.â
garrett stares at you. âyou donât think you did?â
your stomach twists. âi didnât lie to you.â
âyou didnât tell me.â
âthatâs not the same thing.â
âit feels the same.â
your mouth closes. garrett drags a hand over his jaw, looking away like heâs trying very hard to keep himself under control.
âdo you know how shitty it feels,â he says, quieter now, âhearing about something going on with you from someone else?â
your own hurt rises fast, too fast. youâre embarrassed, overwhelmed.
you already feel like youâre failing, and now even garrett is looking at you like youâve failed him too.
âi didnât ask anyone to tell you.â
his head snaps back towards you. âjesus y/n, thatâs not the point.â
âthen what is?â
âthe point is that iâm your boyfriend.â his voice cracks slightly around the word. he takes a breath, trying again. âiâm supposed to be the person you come to.â
your eyes burn. âyou are.â
âno,â he says. one word, quiet, devastating.
âiâm not.â
you blink hard. âthatâs not fair.â
âisnât it?â
âno.â
âthen tell me whatâs going on.â
you look away, garrettâs silence deepens. there it is, the answer. your inability to answer. he nods once, almost to himself, and that hurts worse than anything else.
âright.â
âgarrett-â
âno, seriously. tell me.â his voice is still controlled, but thereâs something sharper underneath now. something fraying.
âbecause iâve been asking for weeks. iâve asked you if youâre okay, iâve asked if you need help, iâve asked if you want me to come over, and every single time, you look me in the face and tell me youâre fine.â
tears prick harder behind your eyes. you hate crying when youâre angry. you hate crying when youâre wrong.
âbecause i didnât want to make it a thing.â
âit is a thing.â
ânot everything has to be shared.â
garrett goes still. you regret it immediately, you see the words hit him, see his face close off in a way that terrifies you.
âokay,â he says.
your heart drops. âthatâs not what i meant.â
âsounds like what you meant.â
âi meant iâm allowed to deal with things privately.â
âof course you are.â
âthen why are you angry?â
âbecause this isnât fucking private, y/n.â his voice finally rises, not loud enough to be yelling, but enough that the hurt cuts through. âthis is you shutting me out.â
you shake your head. âiâm not.â
âyou are.â
âiâm overwhelmed, garrett.â
âi know.â
âno, you donât.â
âbecause you wonât let me.â
that silences you. he steps closer, not enough to crowd you, but enough that you have to look at him.
âyou think i donât notice?â he asks. âyou think i donât see you barely eating? you think i donât know when youâre lying about sleeping? you think i donât notice that youâre sitting right next to me and still somehow not here, not present?â
your breath catches, garrettâs face twists. âi notice everything.â
that is the problem, that is exactly the problem.
you press your lips together, but the tears spill anyway. garrett sees them and softens for half a second, instinctively. at the end of the day, he is garrett. even angry, even hurt, some part of him still wants to move towards you.
he stops himself.
âi wasnât trying to hurt you,â you whisper. his expression crumples slightly. âi know.â
you breathe out shakily. âthen why are you acting like i did this on purpose?â
âiâm not.â
âyou are.â
âiâm acting like it hurt me.â
your chest tightens, garrett swallows, âbecause it did, y/n. you're killing me here.â
the room goes quiet. you stare at him, he looks away first. not because he doesnât mean it, he does, but because saying it cost him something.
your voice comes out small. âi didnât want you to worry.â
he laughs under his breath, but thereâs no humour in it. âtoo late.â
garrett drags a hand over his face, jaw tight, trying to rein himself in before he says the next part. when he speaks again, his voice is lower. rougher.
âdo you know what got me?â
you blink. âgarrett-â
âdean knew.â
the words land hard. you freeze. garrett shakes his head slightly, like he still canât quite believe it.
âdean fucking knew.â his voice cracks with frustration now, emotion finally slipping through. âand from the look on everyone elseâs faces, they did too.â
his eyes lock onto yours. âi was the only one in that room left in the dark.â
your breath catches, âgarrettâŠâ
âand i keep asking myself why.â his voice softens then, somehow worse than when he was angry, hurt, raw.
âbecause i know you trust dean. i know you tell him things.â he swallows hard. âand of course iâm okay with that, more than okay."
he takes a step closer, but thereâs tension in every line of him.
âi love that you have people. i love that you have dean, allie, sabrina, grace and everyone else.â his eyes search yours desperately now. âi donât need to know every single thought in your head, y/n. i donât.â
his voice drops.
âbut this?â
his chest rises sharply. âsomething this important. something thatâs clearly been eating away at you, something thatâs been hurting you." he stops, jaw clenching.
âwhy didn't you let me in?â
garrettâs voice breaks just slightly. âit makes me feel like you donât trust me.â
a single tear slips from your eye as you shake your head, trying to defend yourself. âyou have so much going on i-"
âdonât do that.â
âdo what?â
âdecide for me what i can handle.â
your mouth shuts. garrett steps back, running both hands through his hair. âi can't keep watching you fall apart and standing here feeling completely useless because you wonât let me in.â
your tears are falling properly now. you wipe at them quickly, frustrated with yourself. âi canât afford to fall apart right now, and if i say everything, all of my problems out loud to you, then it becomes even more real.â
the honesty comes out before you can stop it. broken, raw, too much.
garrett freezes. you cover your mouth with one hand, shaking your head like you can take it back, but you canât. itâs out now, the room feels heavier around it, garrettâs voice is gentler when he says your name, that almost breaks you completely.
âdonât,â you whisper.
he looks pained. âbaby-â
âdonât call me that right now.â he stops. you see that hurt him too. you hate yourself for it immediately.
everything in you feels too exposed. too tender, too raw.
âi should go,â you say.
garrettâs face changes. panic, brief and buried.
until pride covers it, hurt covers it. âif thatâs what you want.â
it isnât, thatâs the awful part. it is the last thing you want. you want him to cross the room, you want him to pull you in, you want him to forgive you without you having to explain all the ugly parts.
you are too defensive to ask, too scared to stay, too tired to keep standing there with the person you love looking at you like youâve made him feel alone.
so you nod. âyeah.â
garrettâs jaw tightens. âokay.â
you wait for him to stop you, he doesnât, you leave. by the time you make it downstairs, allie is standing near the bottom of the steps.
one look at your face and hers falls. âoh, y/n.â
you shake your head quickly. âplease donât.â her mouth closes. behind her, dean is standing in the kitchen, pale with guilt. logan and grace are in the hallway, unusually quiet. tucker and sabrina are frozen near the couch.
you hate that they all know. you hate that they all saw enough to understand. you grab your bag from beside the couch.
allie follows you to the door. âiâm coming with you.â
âyou donât have to.â
âi know.â she grabs her keys anyway, you donât argue. if you try, youâll cry harder.
you are already barely holding yourself together.
-
garrett doesnât come after you. he hears the front door close, he hears allieâs car start outside, he hears dean swear quietly downstairs.
then nothing.
he sits on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees, hands clasped tightly together. he feels sick, not because he thinks he was wrong to be hurt. he was hurt, he is hurt.
he can still see your face when you said it, because if i say it out loud then it becomes more real. the words keep replaying in his head until they start to hurt.
he reaches for his phone, opens your messages, staring at the last text from you.
you: do you want me to bring coffee when i come over? garrett: only if youâre part of the delivery you: gross garrett: romantic you: very debatable
that was two days ago. it feels like longer. he types, iâm sorry, deletes it, types again. are you home safe? deletes that too.
he doesnât know what heâs apologising for yet, he is sorry, but he is also still hurt.
part of him wants to get in his car and go to you immediately, another part of him remembers how you looked at him and said not everything has to be shared. like loving you was something he had to stand outside of until he was invited in.
a knock sounds at his door. garrett doesnât answer, the door opens anyway.
dean steps in. garrett looks up.
ânot now.â
dean holds both hands up. âiâm not here to lecture.â
âgood.â
âor yell.â
âalso good.â
dean shuts the door behind him, then stands there awkwardly. garrett stares at him. âwhat?â
dean grimaces. âiâm sorry.â
garrett looks away. âyou didnât know.â
âyeah, but still.â dean rubs the back of his neck. âi shouldnât have said anything.â
âitâs not your fault.â
âkind of feels like it.â
âitâs not.â
dean is quiet for a moment. then, carefully, âsheâs been pretty bad, g.â
garrettâs chest tightens, he looks back at him. dean seems to regret saying it, but continues anyway. ânot bad bad. just⊠not herself. allieâs really worried.â
garrett laughs once, bitterly. âeveryoneâs worried.â
dean winces. âyeah.â
garrett looks down at his hands. âeveryone knew.â
âi donât think she meant for it to be like that.â
âdoesnât make it feel any better.â
âi know.â dean leans back against the door. for once, he doesnât make a joke.
âshe does that sometimes.â
garrettâs eyes lift. dean shrugs, uncomfortable with his own sincerity. âacts like if she can keep everyone else from worrying, then nothingâs actually wrong.â
garrettâs throat tightens. âi know.â
âyeah,â dean says softly. âi figured you did.â
silence settles between them for a moment before dean breaks it. âfor what itâs worth, i donât think she was keeping it from you because she doesnât trust you.â
garrett looks away again, thatâs the part that hurts. because logically, he knows that, emotionally, it doesnât matter.
âthen why?â
dean exhales. âbecause you matter more.â
garrettâs face tightens. dean looks almost apologetic. âi know that sounds backwards.â
garrett says nothing.
âbut i think itâs harder with you because she knows youâll actually see it.â
that lands, quietly. he thinks of your forced smiles, your cold coffee, the way you had kept turning your face away from him lately, like eye contact was dangerous.
dean opens the door. âiâll leave you alone.â
garrett nods once, before dean steps out, he pauses. âalso, if you make her cry again, iâll be very annoying about it.â
garrett huffs a humourless breath. âshe made me cry internally first.â
âyeah, well. do that externally next time. might help.â
dean leaves. garrett sits there alone, phone still in his hand, he doesnât text.
neither do you.
-
the next morning is worse. mornings are yours. saturday mornings especially.
usually, you come to the hockey house with allie. usually, garrett has coffee waiting or pulls you into him before youâve even taken your shoes off. usually, dean makes some comment about how disgusting the two of you are, and you flip him off without looking.
today, you donât come. allie does, alone.
garrett is in the kitchen when the front door opens. he knows itâs not you before he sees her. no soft footsteps beside allieâs louder ones, no familiar voice, no automatic call of, âwhereâs my coffee?"
he keeps his eyes on the mug in front of him. logan, sitting at the counter, notices. allie steps into the kitchen, face guarded. garrett looks at her, she looks back.
for a moment, neither of them say anything, then garrett breaks, asking the question he's been dying to know the answer to.
âis she okay?â
allieâs expression softens, however not enough to make him feel better.
ânot really.â
his hand tightens around the mug. âdid she sleep?â
allie hesitates, which is an answer in itself. garrett nods once, âright.â
allie steps closer. âsheâs not trying to hurt you.â
âi know.â
âshe just-â
âi know,â he says again, quieter this time. allie stops, studying him for a second before saying, âyouâre allowed to be hurt too.â
garrett looks down at his mug of coffee. allie's words almost make it worse, everyone keeps giving him permission to feel something, and all he wants is for none of this to have happened.
logan waits until allie leaves the kitchen before speaking. âyou want advice?â
âno.â
âcool. iâm giving it anyway.â
garrett sighs. logan leans back in his chair.
âyouâre both doing that thing where youâre waiting for the other person to make it easier.â
garrett gives him a flat look. logan shrugs. âiâm just saying, y/n is stubborn when sheâs scared, youâre stubborn when youâre hurt. horrible combination.â
garrett looks away. loganâs voice softens. âshe looked awful last night.â
garrett closes his eyes briefly. âi know.â
âyou looked pretty awful too.â
âthanks.â
âanytime.â
garrett exhales slowly. âi donât know what to say to her.â
logan is quiet for a second, "then maybe you should start there."
-
you spend the day in bed. not sleeping, not studying, not really doing anything.
your laptop sits open beside you, the screen now dark. your phone is face down on the blanket. every few minutes you reach for it, check for a message, then put it down again like you werenât hoping.
garrett doesnât text. you tell yourself thatâs fair, that he simply needs space and that you were awful to him. then you tell yourself he was unfair, that you were both hurt, and then you cry again.
allie brings you lunch. you take a few bites because she stands there until you do. sabrina texts you a photo of tucker looking sad.
sabrina đ
he says the hockey house has been off ever since you stopped coming around. apparently your absence is affecting morale (and his appetite).
you almost smile, almost.
dean texts later.
dean
iâm so sorry, y/n. genuinely
i didn't know garrett didn't know
also please be okay, garrett is being weirdly silent and it's freaking everyone out
you stare at the messages for a long time before replying.
not your fault. i'm okay.
dean replies immediately.
love you, y/n
you donât answer. by evening, your room feels too small. too hot, too quiet.
your chest has been tight all day, a constant pressure beneath your ribs, and the more you try to ignore it, the worse it gets.
you open your laptop, look at your applications, your unfinished cover letter, the rejection email sitting in your inbox, the lecture notes you havenât caught up on, the email from home you still havenât responded to.
everything blurs, suddenly, you canât breathe properly. it isnât dramatic at first, just one shaky inhale that doesnât quite work.
then another, then your hands start trembling.
you stand too fast, knocking your water bottle off the bed. it hits the floor and rolls beneath your desk. the sound makes you flinch, your vision blurs. you press a hand to your chest. âno,â you whisper to yourself. âno, no, no.â
you try to breathe in, it catches.
you sit back down on the edge of your bed, then stand again immediately because sitting feels worse. your whole body feels wrong, too hot and too cold all at once.
your phone is on the bed, you stare at it. allie is out with dean getting food. you could call her, you should call her. instead, without letting yourself think, you call garrett. he answers on the second ring.
ây/n?â
his voice alone almost makes you break. you try to speak, nothing comes out. thereâs a rustle on his end. he sits up, instantly alert.
âbaby?â
you squeeze your eyes shut. the nickname ruins you. a tiny, broken sound leaves your mouth.
garrettâs voice changes completely. âwhere are you?â
you inhale shakily. âdorm.â
âare you hurt?â
âno.â
âcan you breathe?â
you donât answer fast enough. âokay,â he says, and you can hear movement now. keys, a door, footsteps. âiâm coming.â
you start crying harder. âiâm sorry.â
âdonât.â his voice is firm, but not harsh. âdonât apologise. just stay on the phone with me.â
âi canât-â you choke. âi canât calm down.â
âthatâs okay.â
âitâs not.â
âit is. listen to me. put your feet on the floor.â
you do. bare feet against the cold ground. âokay,â you whisper.
âgood. now tell me five things you can see.â
you cry through them. âmy laptop. your hoodie. my lamp. allieâs stupid pink cup. the- the photo on my wall.â
garrettâs breathing is steady through the phone. âgood girl. four things you can feel.â
your hand twists in the blanket. âblanket. floor. phone. my shirt.â
âthree things you can hear.â you swallow.
âyou. my fan. someone outside.â
âgood. keep listening to me.â
âgarrett.â
âiâm here.â
that makes you cry harder, because he isnât, not yet. he is still somehow the only thing holding you to the room.
âi didnât know who else to call,â you admit.
thereâs a pause, not long, but you hear it. then garrett says, very quietly, âiâm glad you called me.â
you press the phone harder to your ear. âiâm sorry.â
âweâll talk about it later.â
âokay.â
âright now, just breathe.â
by the time he gets there, youâre sitting on the floor beside your bed, knees drawn to your chest, phone still clutched in your hand even though the call is connected and heâs already outside your door.
he knocks once. âitâs me.â
you canât get up. âcome in.â
the door opens. garrett steps inside. the second he sees you, everything on his face breaks.
all the hurt. all the anger. all the careful distance. gone.
he closes the door behind him and crosses the room without hesitation, crouching in front of you.
âhey,â he says softly.
you look at him through tears. his eyes move over your face, your shaking hands, the laptop open on your bed, the mess of papers across the floor. âcan i touch you?â
you nod immediately. he reaches for you, and you fold into him so fast it almost knocks him off balance.
garrett catches you. of course he does.
one arm wraps around your back, the other hand cradling the back of your head as you bury your face in his shoulder and sob. not pretty crying. not quiet tears. the kind that takes over your whole body. weeks of holding it in finally ripping through you all at once.
garrett says nothing for a while, just holds you. solid, warm, there. his hand moves slowly over your hair, again and again. âiâve got you,â he murmurs. âyouâre okay.â you clutch his shirt tighter.
âiâm not.â
his arm tightens around you. âokay,â he whispers. âthen youâre not. thatâs okay too.â
that makes you cry harder, because nobody says that.
everyone says youâll be okay.
garrett lets you not be.
eventually, when your breathing starts to slow, he shifts carefully until his back is against the side of your bed and youâre tucked against his chest on the floor between his legs, his arms around you.
his chin rests lightly against the top of your head. neither of you speaks for a long time.
your room is dim now, lit only by your desk lamp. outside, voices pass faintly in the hallway. somewhere down the corridor, someone laughs. it feels strange that the world is still normal. you wipe your face with the sleeve of your jumper.
garrett reaches towards your bedside table, grabs the tissues, and passes them to you without a word.
you take one. then another. then you whisper, âiâm sorry.â
his chest rises behind you. âi know.â
your fingers twist in the tissue. âi shouldâve told you.â
garrett is quiet for a second. then, âyeah.â
you close your eyes. âi just didnât know how.â
his hand moves slowly up and down your arm. âyou couldâve started with that.â
your mouth trembles. âi know.â
âi wouldâve listened.â
âi know.â
âi wouldnât have thought less of you.â
your throat closes. you turn slightly, looking up at him. his face is softer now, but still tired, still hurt. that might be the worst part. the fact that being loved by you has hurt him.
âi didnât think you would,â you whisper.
garrettâs brows pull together. âthen why?â
you look down. for once, you try not to run from the answer. it takes a while, garrett lets it.
âbecause you see me too clearly,â you say eventually. his hand stills. you keep staring at the tissue in your lap.
âand sometimes that feels really safe. and sometimes it feels terrifying.â
garrett says nothing. so you keep going, voice shaking.
âif i told you how bad everything felt, youâd know. and then i couldnât pretend anymore. and i needed to pretend because i didnât know what else to do.â
your eyes fill again. âiâm trying so hard, garrett.â
his face changes. you canât stop now.
âiâm trying so hard and i feel like iâm failing at everything. i feel like iâm behind in classes, and i donât know if iâm good enough for any of these internships, and every time i open my email i feel sick, and then thereâs stuff at home and i donât want to talk about it because everyone has their own problems, and i just-â
your voice breaks. garrett shifts, turning you more fully toward him.
ây/n.â
you shake your head. âiâm so tired.â
his eyes shine. âcome here.â
you fold into him again. he holds you so tightly it almost hurts. in a good way, in a necessary way, like heâs trying to keep all your pieces together through sheer force.
âiâm sorry,â you whisper into his shirt.
his lips press against your hair. "iâm sorry too.â
you pull back just enough to look at him. âyou donât have to be.â
âyeah,â he says quietly. âi do.â
you shake your head. âi hurt you.â
âand i let you leave.â
your chest aches. âi was awful.â
âyou were scared.â
âthat doesnât make it okay.â
âno,â he agrees softly. âbut it helps me understand.â
you stare at him. he brushes a tear from your cheek with his thumb, his voice lowering. âi wasnât angry because you were struggling.â
your breath catches, garrettâs throat works. âi was angry because you were struggling alone.â your face crumples, he leans forward, pressing his forehead to yours.
âand because i love you,â he whispers. âand i didnât know what to do with that when you wouldnât let me near you.â
you close your eyes. âiâm sorry.â
âi know.â
âi love you.â
his hand slides to the side of your neck, thumb brushing softly beneath your jaw. âi love you too.â for a moment, neither of you move.
you eventually whisper. âare you still mad?â
garrett exhales slowly. âiâm still hurt.â
you nod, fresh tears spilling. âokay.â
âbut iâm not going anywhere.â
that breaks you again, quieter this time. you lean into him, and he pulls you close, pressing a kiss to your temple.
âwe have to talk about it properly,â he murmurs.
âi know.â
ânot tonight.â
you nod. âokay.â
âtonight youâre going to eat something.â a weak laugh slips out of you. garrett pulls back slightly, looking down at you.
ânot a joke.â
âi know.â
âand drink water.â
âbossy.â
his mouth twitches, barely. âyou missed me.â
you breathe out a tiny laugh, watery and exhausted. âso much.â
his expression softens completely. âyeah?â
you nod. âi kept checking my phone.â
his hand cups your cheek. âme too.â
âwhy didnât you text?â
he looks down for a second. âbecause i didnât know how to say i was hurt without making you feel worse.â
your chest tightens. âyou can tell me when i hurt you.â
his eyes lift back to yours. âsame rule for you.â
you nod. âokay.â
âokay.â
the word settles between you. small, not a fix, not completely, but a start. garrett leans in slowly, giving you time to move away, you donât. his mouth touches yours softly, carefully, not desperate, not heated, just gentle. forgiving.
you make a small sound against him, and his hand slides into your hair, holding you there like he has missed you more than he knows how to say. when he pulls back, he rests his forehead against yours again.
âno more pretending youâre fine when youâre not.â
you let out a shaky breath. âiâll try.â
âthatâs all iâm asking.â
you nod. âand no more finding out important things from dean.â
you wince. âfair.â
âbecause, honestly, devastating source.â that makes you laugh properly, small, but real. garrett smiles a little.
-
allie comes home twenty minutes later with dean behind her, both of them carrying food. she stops in the doorway when she sees garrett sitting on your bed, you tucked against his side under a blanket, eyes swollen but calmer.
dean almost walks into her back. âwhy did we stop?â
allie elbows him. then she looks at you. âall okay?â
you nod, embarrassed.
âokay.â
garrettâs arm tightens around your shoulders. dean peers around allie, âam i allowed to speak or is this a hostile environment?â
garrett gives him a look. âdepends.â
dean nods seriously. âunderstood.â then he lifts the bag in his hand. âi brought fries as a peace offering.â
you sniffle. âfor me or garrett?â
dean pauses. âboth.â
allie rolls her eyes and steps inside. sabrina and grace appear in the doorway fifteen minutes later with tucker and logan, because apparently nobody in this group knows how to give anyone privacy for longer than thirty seconds.
âwe heard there were fries,â tucker says. logan looks between you and garrett, assessing quietly, then his face softens.
âyou good?â
garrett looks down at you, you look up at him. his thumb brushes once over your shoulder. you nod, âgetting there.â
logan nods back. âgood enough.â
sabrina climbs onto the bed on your other side without asking, wrapping an arm around your waist.
âyou scared us, y/n.â
you lean into her. âsorry.â
âdonât do it again.â
âiâll try.â
allie sits at the foot of the bed and starts unpacking food. dean leans against your desk, still guilty but trying to hide it. tucker steals a fry and immediately gets slapped by sabrina. logan takes the chair and pretends not to watch everyone with fond amusement.
garrett stays beside you through all of it. steady, quiet.
his hand never leaves you, not in a possessive way, not in a way that demands, just there, a reminder. you donât have to hold yourself up alone.
later, when everyone has finally left and your room is quiet again, garrett helps you clear the food containers from your bed.
he plugs your phone in, closes your laptop, picks your water bottle up from under the desk and places it on your bedside table.
small things, garrett things. you watch him move around your room with tired eyes. âare you staying?â you ask softly.
he turns, his expression gentle. âdo you want me to?â
you nod, "please.â he crosses back to you immediately.
âthen iâm staying.â
you shift under the covers as he climbs in beside you, and for the first time in weeks, your body relaxes before you can think yourself out of it. garrett pulls you into his chest, you press your face against his shirt, his hand slides beneath the back of your hoodie, palm warm against your spine.
âi donât want you to feel shut out.â
his hand stills for half a second, then continues moving slowly. âi donât want you to feel like you have to be okay all the time.â
you close your eyes. âi donât know how to stop.â
âweâll figure it out.â
âwhat if i mess up?â
âthen we talk.â
âwhat if i do it again?â
his lips press to your forehead. âthen i remind you.â
you swallow. âwhat if you get tired of reminding me?â
garrett pulls back just enough to look at you. his face is serious, tender, a little wounded that you would even ask, but patient with it anyway.
"iâm not going to get tired of loving you, y/n."
your eyes burn again.âgarrett.â
âi mean it.â you look at him for a long moment, then nod, because you believe him.
he kisses you once, soft and lingering, then tucks your head back beneath his chin. outside your room, the dorm is still noisy. voices in the hall, doors opening and closing, the faint sound of laughter somewhere far away. inside, everything is quiet. not perfect, not fixed, but honest. for tonight, that is enough.
garrettâs thumb moves slowly along your back. you let yourself breathe. this time, when he murmurs, âyou okay?â
you donât say fine, you donât pretend, you press closer and whisper, ânot really.â
garrett holds you tighter. âokay,â he says softly. âiâm here.â
and for the first time in weeks, you let that be enough.
â©.* taglist; @05gwyn | @alwaysclassyeagle | @casiiopea2 | @nexisphere | @imstressed17 | @legendarychrattgirl | @ethanthequeefqueen | @wiishies | @legendarychrattgirl | @tabisswag | @corvusmorte | @mariiibash|@stevesxwhore | @choppedpartymuffinwinner| @flannelshirts-and-fingerguns | @leilareads58 | @nikfigueiredo | @archxve | @s0ftdr1nks | @persasseajackson | @avengersheart | @brxght-world | @plants-w0rld | @hamilronweasley | @dyslexicepicfan | @livformadrid | @cosmosnkaz | @behindthescreenobsessed | @mothericraveviolence57 | @purplerainx1 | @dancerbailey3 | @kingshitonly | @melodypvnk | @mothericraveviolence57 | @danis-angels | @chronically-jess
College baby (ch.3) TAGLIST IS CLOSED!!!
Pairings: Dean Di Laurentis x fem!reader
Summary: Somehow you find yourself co-parenting with the biggest manwhore in all of Briar U.
âËàż tina's note đđËâ helloo first I wanna say thank you for all the love you're all giving the story, next I want to let you know we're like 2-3 chapters away from entering the show/book timeline and I'm so excited for that! Also so sorry to disappoint but I did decide to close the taglist for those still asking to get added. Enjoy! I also have a Tucker story in plans so if you don't get any college baby for the next few days it is because I'm writing that one (little sneak peak, it's called part of your world and it has some angst)
Oh, and if you send in some ideas of what you want to see I might add them to later parts, I have something sitting in my asks that will for sure be featured in the next part! âĄÌ
College Baby masterlist
College Baby (ch.1)
Pairings: Dean Di Laurentis x fem!reader
Summary: Somehow you find yourself co-parenting with the biggest manwhore in all of Briar U.
âËàż tina's note đđËâ welcome to the series that will hopefully become something! taglist is closed!
College Baby masterlist
On Baby Duty
âïž Warnings: Pregnancy mention (for future) âïž Pairing: F!Reader x Dean Di Laurentis âïž Rating/Genre: PG. Fluff. âïž Words: 1372 âïž Summary: You & Dean babysit Tucker & Sabrina's baby Jamie
đ: anon, i hope this is what you imagnined! if you enjoyed, please consider leaving a comment, ask, reblog etc, it means a lot xx
Read the original request here. 㣠Find my Off Campus Masterlist here.
Tucker has been standing in your doorway for the last 10 minutes, giving Dean an impromptu pop quiz that he expected 10/10 on before he was willing to hand his entire life over.

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garrett graham âïž i've got you.
pairing â garrett graham x nursing student!reader summary â a bad loss, a worse party, and garrett finding out exactly what kind of man used to make someone he cares about feel small. warnings â angst, emotional abuse references, slut-shaming, public humiliation, violence, physical fight, blood, strong language notes from me â i promised garrett would find out about her ex! based on this ask, thank u babe! word count â 6.5k
navigation â masterlist |
The party is technically still a party, in the way a body is technically still alive when itâs lying very still and making everyone else uncomfortable. Thereâs music coming from the living room speakers, and the kitchen is full, and someone has already knocked over half a case of beer near the back door, but the usual post-game buzz hasnât properly taken.Â
The loss has followed the boys home like bad weather, clinging to the sharp set of Garrettâs jaw and the bruise darkening near Loganâs cheekbone and the way Dean keeps drinking. Even Tucker, who can usually make a room feel less like it wants to bite itself, has been standing at the counter for ten minutes making tiny sandwiches with the grim focus of a man assembling evidence.
âDonât call them tiny sandwiches,â Tucker says, responding to something Logan had said that she'd missed. âTheyâre dippables.â
There's a beat of silence so beautiful and complete that she almost respects the universe for giving it to them.
Then Dean says, âIâm sorry, what the fuck did you just call them?â
garrett graham âïž good first impression.
pairing â garrett graham x reader summary â garrett graham shows up with sex on his mind and gets introduced to a six-month-old in a duck onesie instead. warnings â established relationship, fluff, garrett holding a baby, domestic softness, suggestive opening, teasing notes from me â just a little blurb based on this ask!! someone give garrett graham a baby immediately. word count â 3.8k
navigation â masterlist | taglist
The thing about Garrett Graham showing up at her apartment with sex clearly, tragically, heroically on his mind was that he didnât know how to be subtle about it.
He thought he did. He thought turning up in grey sweats and a Briar hockey hoodie with his curls still damp from a shower and that one shoulder leaned into her doorframe counted as casual.Â
He thought the lazy grin, the lowered voice, the slow drag of his eyes down her body before he even got a full hello out, were all normal boyfriend behaviours and not, in fact, the sort of entrance that made her immediately aware of every inch of her own skin beneath leggings and an old sweatshirt with spit-up already drying near the shoulder.
He had texted twenty minutes ago. you home?
She had said yes.
He had sent back, good.
Which, in Garrett language, meant one of two things. Either he was hungry and about to arrive with enough takeout for three people, or he was in one of those post-practice moods where his body had not quite left the ice yet and all that leftover adrenaline needed somewhere to go.Â
garrett graham âïž team effort.
pairing â garrett graham x reader summary â everyone keeps asking for too much. garrett has a very simple solution. warnings â fluff, established relationship, people-pleasing, boundary issues, garrett being protective, strong language, alcohol mention notes from me â based on this ask!! so so cute, thank u babe! word count â 2.1k
navigation â masterlist |
Garrett notices it first at Maloneâs, which is annoying because Maloneâs is loud, sticky, crowded, and absolutely not the sort of place where he should be having emotional realisations over his girlfriendâs inability to say no.
Sheâs tucked into the booth beside him, one knee pressed against his thigh under the table, her drink sweating a wet ring onto the wood in front of her. The place is packed in the usual Friday-night Briar way, all flushed faces and hockey jackets and girls laughing too loudly over music.Â
Deanâs somehow acquired a tray of shots no one asked for. Loganâs flirting with a girl at the bar. Tucker sits across from them, calm as ever, eating fries.
Garrett has one arm stretched along the back of the booth behind her shoulders, his fingers idly playing with the ends of her hair.
fill in the gaps | found family au âËàż
summary: in which dean is always the one quietly stepping in whenever garrett canât, filling the gaps with a kind of friendship that feels safe without ever asking for recognition.
notes: hi! thank you so much for your request! just a few little sweet moments between dean and y/n to establish their 'sibling-styled' relationship. i love seeing how precious dean can be with those around him. i hope you enjoy! đđ
â©.* found family fics!
â©.* found family masterlist
˰âą*ââ· in other words... three times dean steps in when garrett couldn't.
êȘà§
1. the morning coffee tradition
the thing about dean and y/nâs coffee tradition is that nobody actually remembers how it started.
one day it just sort of⊠existed.
wednesday mornings became tradition sometime during your freshman year after dean discovered that you physically could not function before ten in the morning without caffeine, food, and at least twenty minutes of silence.
heâd found you sitting outside one of your lecture halls looking genuinely miserable, curled into yourself on the concrete ledge beneath the windows with an untouched granola bar in your lap.
dean had stopped walking immediately.
âyou look dead,â had been his first greeting.
youâd blinked up at him slowly from beneath the hood of your sweatshirt, eyes tired and unfocused in the way they always got when you were overwhelmed.
âi feel dead.â
dean stared at you for another second before glancing down at the granola bar still sitting untouched in your hands.
then he sighed dramatically. âabsolutely not.â
you frowned faintly. ââŠwhat?â
âcâmon.â
âwhere?â
âcoffee.â
âdean i have class in twenty minutes.â
âand i have concern for you.â
despite all the overwhelming thoughts, youâd laughed quietly at that and dean had felt something oddly victorious settle in his chest. even back then, before the tradition became routine, dean had already started noticing things about you.
you carried stress quietly, too quietly.
youâd smile through exhaustion.
push through headaches.
skip meals when assignments got overwhelming.
tell people you were âfineâ in that soft voice that usually meant the exact opposite.
somewhere along the way dean had started catching those things automatically.
not because garrett didnât, he noticed too.
always.
but garrett loved you loudly, openly. he was constantly touching you, checking on you, looking at you like you'd hung the sun.
deanâs care was quieter than that, woven into little things.
extra coffees, walking on the outside of sidewalks. small things that slowly became permanent.
after that first coffee, wednesday mornings became routine without either of you ever formally discussing it.
same coffee shop just off campus
same booth beside the window.
same sleepy version of you arriving somewhere between five and ten minutes late every single week while dean pretended to be annoyed about it.
same teasing arguments over your coffee order because dean remained personally offended by your commitment to iced coffee in the middle of winter.
âone day,â he tells you, âyouâre gonna freeze to death out of stubbornness.â
âyou're so dramatic.â
âno, i'm just correct.â
the rest of the guys catch onto the routine pretty quickly, mostly because dean disappears every wednesday morning without fail.
âwhere are you going?â logan asks one morning from the kitchen while dean searches for his keys.
âcoffee.â
âwith who?â
dean looks at him blankly like itâs the stupidest question heâs ever heard.
ây/n.â
logan pauses mid-bite.
âagain?â
dean frowns immediately. âwhat do you mean again.â
âyou guys literally do this every week.â
âand?â
logan exchanges a look with tucker across the kitchen island. ânothing,â tucker says carefully. âitâs just really sweet.â
dean looks horrified. âdonât say that.â
logan grins immediately, âyouâre basically her emotional support hockey player.â
âincorrect,â dean says instantly. âiâm her favourite hockey player.â
âthatâs actually me,â garrett says as he walks into the kitchen moments later, hair still damp from practice.
dean points at him immediately. âyouâre biased.â
garrett snorts softly while reaching for the coffee dean had apparently made him earlier. âsheâs literally my girlfriend.â
âexactly. biased.â
garrett just shakes his head with poorly hidden amusement because honestly?
he loves the tradition.
he loves that you have dean.
hockey consumes so much of their lives sometimes. practices, travel, games, media, pressure and expectations all piling endlessly onto them, until exhaustion settles deep into their bones. somehow, dean became the person who quietly made sure you didn't get lost inside all of that.
garrett notices it constantly.
the way dean always pushes your coffee toward you before you even sit down. the way he checks your expression the second you walk into a room. the way he instinctively steps closer anytime you look overwhelmed in crowded places.
itâs never overbearing, just protective in that deeply steady way dean loves people, and garrett trusts him completely.
âyouâre late.â
you slide into the booth exactly seven minutes behind schedule one snowy wednesday morning, scarf wrapped around the lower half of your face while cold air clings to your coat.
deanâs already sitting across from you nursing his coffee.
âgood morning to you too.â
âi thought you died.â
âthatâs sweet.â
âit wouldâve ruined my morning.â
you laugh softly under your breath while shrugging your coat off, your cheeks a crimson red from the cold outside.
the café glows warm around you, windows fogged slightly from the winter air. soft music hums somewhere overhead while students crowd small tables scattered throughout the room.
dean pushes your usual order across the table before you even ask.
your coffee. your breakfast sandwich, and an extra hash brown because deanâs somehow convinced you, âdonât eat enough.â
âthank you,â you mumble quietly.
âmhm.â
you take your first sip and physically relax against the booth. you feel your shoulders loosen and your eyes close briefly, almost as if your soul had just re-entered your body. dean watches the entire thing happen with visible satisfaction.
âthere we goâ he says.
you crack one eye open. âwhat?â
âthe human version of yourself, she's here."
you point accusingly at him over the rim of your coffee cup, âyouâre mean to me every single week.â
a glint of amusement settles into his eyes, âand yet you still show up.â
âfree breakfast goes a long way di laurentis.â
dean snorts softly into his coffee before his expression shifts slightly, softening around the edges the way it always does when he really looks at you.
âyou okay?â
the question comes every week. always casual, always genuine, never forced. sometimes the answerâs easy but other times it turns into an hour-long conversation about stress, homesickness or overthinking.
sometimes dean talks instead, letting anxiety off about the pressure he feels from jensen, about how tired he is of feeling like everyone has it all mapped out but him.
these wednesday mornings had quickly become the one place neither of you felt pressured to pretend.
today you just sigh quietly while pulling your sleeves over your hands.
âbusy week.â
dean hums knowingly.
âyouâve been studying too much.â
âiâm in college, dean.â
âyeah, but normal people sleep occasionally.â
you laugh softly. âgarrett says the same thing.â
dean immediately points at you. âsee? thatâs because your boyfriend and i are the only people around here with common sense.â
âthat's debatable.â
âno it's not.â
your smile grows slightly while snow continues drifting softly past the windows outside, for a moment neither of you say anything.
a comfortable silence settles easily between the two of you, and maybe thatâs part of why these mornings matter so much. dean never demands anything from you. you donât have to be funny or energetic, you can just exist quietly with him while the world wakes up outside.
then eventually your expression softens around the edges.
âthank you,â you say quietly.
dean glances up from his coffee.
âfor?â
âthis.â
you gesture vaguely between the two of you. âthe coffees, the checking in. you're always making sure iâm okay. i know i have garrett and the girls, but it really means a lot to have someone else too."
for a second dean just looks at you like he doesnât understand why that would need thanking, before he leans back slightly against the booth with the faintest shrug.
âyouâre one of my favourite people, y/n" he says simply.
the words hit harder than they should, because dean says things honestly, and thereâs something incredibly safe about being cared for by someone like that.
you smile softly down into your coffee. âdonât tell garrett you said that.â
dean scoffs immediately. âplease. that man already knows.â
you chuckle briefly and deanâs grin appears instantly at the sound, thatâs another thing about this coffee tradition. dean quietly measures the success of every wednesday morning by whether he can make you laugh before ten am.
somehow, without anybody really noticing when it happened, these mornings became one of the steadiest parts of both your lives.
êȘà§
2. insecurity; everyone wants garrett graham
itâs nearly twelve am when dean hears the front door open quietly.
the hockey house is mostly asleep now after an away game. the bus got back almost forty minutes ago, everyone exhausted and cold and half-dead after six straight hours of travel.
empty gatorade bottles litter the kitchen counter, an abandoned duffle bag sits by the stairs. the whole house smells faintly like sweat, detergent, and post-game exhaustion.
deanâs downstairs on the couch pretending to study while eating cereal straight from the box when you walk in.
his eyes lift immediately.
youâre wearing garrettâs jacket over your outfit from earlier, sleeves hanging over your hands, your makeup slightly smudged beneath your eyes.
you look tired, not upset exactly, just emotionally wrung out.
dean frowns immediately. âwhereâs garrett?â
âstill at briar,â you murmur softly while shutting the door behind you. âcoach jensen wanted to talk to him after everyone had left."
dean nods once because that makes sense.
captain stuff. probably game strategy or travel schedules.
you walk further into the living room before dropping onto the couch beside him with a small exhausted sigh.
âwerenât you supposed to drive back together?â dean asks after a second.
you nod, curling slightly beneath the blanket abandoned beside him. âyeah, we were.â
your mouth softens faintly afterward. âbut he knew i was tired and didnât wanna make me wait around at the rink. i think he's getting a ride home with jensen".
dean can practically hear the rest of the conversation without needing details. garrett standing beside the bus still carrying half his equipment, one hand rested on your waist telling you softly to go home and sleep while he finished talking to jensen. probably kissing your forehead before forcing his car keys into your hands.
dean huffs quietly to himself.
hopelessly in love, the both of you.
âhe made me promise to text when i got home,â you mumble.
âobviously.â
you smile faintly at that before leaning your head back against the couch cushions. dean studies your face for another second.
âyou okay?â
you hesitate for a second before shrugging lightly. âjust got in my own head a little tonight.â
dean turns to face you immediately. âabout what?â
you debate brushing it off. normally you would, but deanâs always been easy to talk to. calm and patient. never making you feel silly for the thoughts your brain turns into bigger problems.
âthere were these girls at the game tonight.â
deanâs expression shifts slightly, not tense yet, just attentive.
âokayâŠâ
âthey were sitting a few rows behind us,â you explain softly. âall wearing graham jerseys and talking about garrett.â
dean already knows where this is going before you even finish the sentence and you watch as his jaw tightens slightly.
âwhat were they saying?â
you shrug again, but this one feels smaller.
âjust that he was hot. that they wished heâd notice them. one of them literally said sheâd do anything to be with him.â
deanâs face immediately darkens with annoyance.
not at you.
never at you.
at them.
because people always seem to forget thereâs an actual person attached to situations like that.
âthey were saying it right there?â he asks carefully.
you nod once, slightly pulling on the ends of garrett's sweater in search of something grounding.
âlike i wasnât even there.â
something in deanâs chest twists at that, because you and garrett arenât subtle. maybe not publicly public, but enough.
enough that anyone paying attention should notice the way garrettâs attention constantly gravitates toward you without even thinking about it.
yet, apparently these girls didnât notice, or didnât care.
you had convinced yourself it was the latter.
âand i know itâs dumb,â you continue quickly before dean can speak, voice quieter now, âbecause i trust him. i do. garrett handled it immediately when one of them tried talking to him after the game and he was perfect about it, itâs not even him.â
dean remains quiet, letting you get it out.
âit's justâŠâ you laugh softly, but thereâs no humour in it. âsometimes i think about the fact that he could genuinely have anyone he wanted.â
deanâs expression softens instantly.
ây/n-â
âno, seriously,â you interrupt gently. âheâs attractive, heâs good at hockey, everyone loves him already and he's not even playing in the nhl yet. once that happens itâs only going to be worse.â
your eyes stay fixed somewhere on the floor now.
âand those girls were all wearing his jersey and cheering for him and i realised i donât even own one.â
dean blinks slightly. âwhat?â
you shrug helplessly, âi donât know. it just made me feel stupid for some reason.â
dean places his hand on your shoulder reassuringly. âyou know why those girls were talking about him like that?â
you frown slightly.
âbecause they donât know him.â
your expression falters a little and dean continues talking before you can argue.
âthey know hockey garrett. public garrett. they know the version they see for three hours on the ice.â his voice stays calm and certain.
âyou know the guy who drives across town at two in the morning because you mentioned wanting fries once.â
your lips twitch faintly, a small smile threatening to grace your features.
âyou know the guy who physically cannot relax if he thinks youâre upset" dean adds quietly, the corner of his mouth lifting as he gives your shoulder a brief squeeze. warm, steady, familiar.
âthe guy who looks for you first in every room without even realising heâs doing it.â
your chest tightens quietly at his words.
âthose girls wanting him doesnât mean they actually have him, y/n.â
deanâs voice softens slightly then.
âyou do.â
he lets his hand fall away gently from your shoulder before adding, quieter now, "and for the record, garrett would rather lose playoffs for the rest of his life than have you feel even slightly replaceable."
you snort softly. âthat feels dramatic.â
âheâs dramatic,â dean replies immediately, earning a real laugh from you this time. he smiles faintly at the sound.
âalso,â he adds, âthe jersey thing is fixable. honestly kind of offended he hasnât already forced one onto you himself.â
you smile at his words, your hand finding his shoulder as you squeeze gently.
"thank you", you say softly.
he nods his head in quiet understanding, then after a second, nudges the cereal box towards you.
âyou hungry?â
you laugh softly. âyes.â
âgood,â dean says. âbecause your boyfriend left strict instructions to feed you if you came home tired.â
your smile appears instantly. âdid he actually?â
dean grabs his phone before tossing it into your lap. a text from garrett glows across the screen.
garrett
make sure y/n eats something please. she looked exhausted when i was with her
another one sits directly underneath it.
garrett
and donât let her say sheâs fine if she goes quiet
your chest aches immediately, because garrett knows you so completely it still catches you off guard sometimes.
dean notices your expression soften while reading the messages and immediately points at you accusingly. âdonât get emotional over texts right now.â
you laugh quietly, âshut up.â
he gets up a second later to make you actual food instead of letting you survive off cereal and when garrett finally gets home twenty minutes later, still wearing his briar hockey hoodie with damp hair from the cold outside, his eyes find you instantly.
youâre curled beneath the blanket half-asleep with dean beside you. garrettâs entire expression softens the second he sees you safe and warm on the couch.
âhey, baby.â
you look up sleepily.
âhi.â
he leans down immediately, kissing your forehead while one hand slides gently along your cheek.
âyou okay?â
you nod softly.
âmhm.â
garrett glances toward dean who lifts both hands up defensively.
âshe ate.â
garrett snorts quietly. âthanks, dean.â
he shrugs like itâs nothing, like he wouldnât do it every single time.
êȘà§
3. quietly looked after
briarâs hockey house is always chaos after a friday night win, loud with music and crowded with teammates spilling throughout, their drinks carefully balanced in their hands.
someoneâs yelling over beer pong in the dining room, logan and tucker are arguing about a goal replay near the tv and allie, sabrina and grace are all laughing so hard in the corner they can barely breathe.
everything feels hazy with warmth and noise and post-game adrenaline.
garrettâs across the kitchen talking to a couple alumni players whoâd shown up after the game, still half in hockey mode despite the hoodie heâd changed into. every few seconds his eyes flick back toward you, like some invisible string keeps tugging his attention in your direction despite who heâs talking to.
and every time you drift close enough, his hand finds you instinctively.
your waist, your lower back.
your fingers for half a second before somebody pulls him into another conversation.
touching you has become second nature for him at this point.
youâve been awake since six that morning. an early lecture, library study session, two assignments you forgot were due, then the game.
now you found yourself at the afterparty that allie had begged you to stay at for âat least one hour, because youâre literally dating the captain, and leaving early is bad for morale.â
that was nearly three hours ago.
youâre sitting on one of the kitchen bar stools slowly losing a fight against exhaustion, cheek pressed heavily into your palm while your eyes blink slower every couple minutes.
youâre still trying to be social, nodding along when people talk, smiling faintly at conversations happening around you, however, itâs the kind of tired where your whole body starts going soft around the edges.
dean walks into the kitchen beside logan mid-conversation, laughing at something over his shoulder, before his gaze lands on you and he stops immediately.
his eyes narrow, because dean knows your tired face.
thereâs regular tired and then thereâs this.
the heavy blinking, slumped shoulders. the way your fingers loosen around your drink because youâre too exhausted to hold it properly anymore.
âwhy do you look sedated?â
you lift one finger weakly without moving your head. âthatâs offensive.â
âyouâre falling asleep sitting upright, y/n".
âi'm multitasking.â
logan snorts loudly. dean just shakes his head before moving automatically toward the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and twisting the cap open before pressing it into your hands.
âdrink that.â
you squint up at him sleepily. âyouâre so bossy.â
âand yet somehow i'm always right.â
he leans against the counter beside you afterward, arms folding loosely over his chest while you obediently sip the water despite glaring at him about it.
dean glances across the room, right as garrett looks over.
the second your boyfriends eyes properly land on you, his expression shifts instantly.
it softens first before sharpening slightly with concern, because now that heâs looking closely, he notices everything at once.
the way your head keeps dipping, the tiredness in your eyes.
he excuses himself from the conversation almost immediately before crossing the kitchen toward you. dean steps aside without a word, not because garrett needs help noticing, just because he was filling the space until he got there.
garrett slides easily between your knees, hands settling automatically against your waist while he tilts his head slightly trying to catch your eyes.
âbaby,â he murmurs softly. âyou tired?â
your forehead drops dramatically against his shoulder. âso tired.â
garrett laughs quietly beneath his breath, one hand sliding slowly up your back.
âyeah, i can tell.â
âmâawake.â
âyou almost fell asleep drinking water.â
âlies.â
dean points immediately. ânot lies.â
you weakly lift a hand toward him without moving from garrettâs shoulder. âi dislike you.â
âno you donât.â
garrettâs smile presses briefly against your hair before he presses a delicate kiss to the top of your head.
âcâmon,â he murmurs softly. âletâs get you upstairs.â
âbut allie said we have to socialise.â
garrett's hand shifts from your waist to capture your face gently in his hand. âyouâve been socialising for three straight hours, y/n.â
you make a sleepy noise of agreement.
garrett laughs again quietly before helping you down from the stool carefully, one arm wrapping around your waist the second you sway slightly from standing too fast.
his hand immediately tightens, protective instinct.
you lean into him without thinking and dean watches the interaction from beside the fridge with the faintest smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
because thatâs the thing, garrett always notices.
always.
he notices when your smile feels forced, when your hands get cold, when you go too quiet in crowded rooms, when you stop stealing bites of his food because youâre stressed.
dean just catches some things first sometimes because garrettâs constantly being pulled in six different directions at once.
captain.
friend.
teammate.
leader.
boyfriend.
deanâs usually standing slightly outside the chaos watching all of it unfold, so he's able to step in automatically.
not because garrett doesnât care enough, but because dean cares too. just differently. like the brother you never had. like family.
â©.* taglist; @05gwyn | @alwaysclassyeagle | @casiiopea2 | @nexisphere | @imstressed17 | @legendarychrattgirl | @ethanthequeefqueen | @wiishies | @legendarychrattgirl | @tabisswag | @corvusmorte | @mariiibash | @stevesxwhore | @choppedpartymuffinwinner | @flannelshirts-and-fingerguns | @leilareads58 | @nikfigueiredo | @archxve | @s0ftdr1nks | @persasseajackson
Ruin the friendship | John Logan
Summary: Falling for your brotherâs best friend is already a terrible idea. Falling for John Logan, while Garrett Graham watches the two of you like a security threat, is even worse.
Pairing: John Logan x Graham!Reader
A/N: hii! this is actually the first thing iâve ever published, which is both exciting and terrifying honestly đ iâve always been more of a reader than a writer, so this is very new to me, but i had so much fun writing it.
if you end up reading, please let me know what you think! iâd really love to hear your thoughts.
also, im taking requests, so if you have any requests you can send it to me
okay bye, hope you enjoy <3
Garrett and you were born three minutes apart. Only three. You've done the math a thousand times, turned it over like a coin, trying to understand how three minutes could possibly account for the way he acts. The only explanation you've ever landed on is that Garrett must have gone through some Interstellar type of thing on his way out, where those three minutes stretched into three decades, aging him into the world's most exhausting older brother before he even took his first breath.

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Carnations & Sweet Pea
$ log - you receive a token of appreciation from steve rogers! $ warn --sfw --fluff $ wc -w 1k $ cd masterlist $ echo "reader back at her corporate j*b" > authors-note.txt $ echo "might write up an nsfw version of this later" > authors-note.txt
The bouquet wasn't subtle.
You spotted it from the doorway - hard not to, really, given it was occupying a third of your desk and radiating the kind of quiet opulence that made two of your colleagues stop walking and stare. Blush carnations and ivory sweet pea, layered so densely they seemed almost architectural, wrapped in thick craft paper and tied with a ribbon that had clearly been done by someone who what they were doing. There was a small card tucked into the stems.
You stood there for a moment. Then you walked over, picked up the card and read it.
Much appreciated. - S. Rogers
You set it down, looked at the bouquet again, and the card.
Around you, the office had developed a faint but unmistakeable energy - the specific frequency of people pretending not to be watching. Someone behind you murmured something and someone else laughed, hushed and delighted.
"Oooooh," said your colleague Layla, appearing at your shoulder with a coffee mug and absolutely no shame. "Who's S. Rogers?"
"Nobody."
"That's a nobody bouquet to you?"
You picked up the bouquet, set it more firmly on the corner of your desk, and sat down. "Go away, Layla."
Layla didn't go away, instead she leaned against the partition and smiled into her coffee. "You've got a secret admirer."
"I don't."
"Those are sweet peas. Someone did research-"
"Layla."
She went away with another amused giggle.
A BURNING GIFT.
Summary : As a new Avenger (2012 Avengers), you decide to give a gift to Steve, the Cap, who recruited you. Except... You forget that your gifts can burn.
Pairing : Steve Rogers x avenger!reader
W/c : idk maybe 3k
Warning tags : fluff, a little bit angsty, Black! reader, reader has powers like Wanda but can burn people too, comfort, soft intimacy, vague description of burning wounds. ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.
The first time Steve Rogers sees your powers up close, he thinks they look beautiful.
Not dangerous.
Not unnatural.
Beautiful.
Purple energy curls around your fingers like smoke kissed by starlight, glowing softly beneath the dim lights of the training room. It moves differently than other people's magic : less chaotic, more fluid. Like velvet dragged through water.
Everyone else in the room keeps their distance when your powers come out.
Steve notices that too.
Walls to Scale (Tommy Conlon x Reader) [Request]
Gif Source: dicapriho
The only women who ever showed up at Coltâs were the girlfriends of whatever bruisers were inside duking it out. Tommy stayed well away from them, not simply because of this fact, but because they never interested him. They all seemed to be the same type, variants of each other and yet still working from the same base model.
So when you walked in, he found himself staring. You carried yourself differently, navigated the room as though you knew it. The man at your side, a middleweight contender, seemed disinterested in you.
What really caught Tommyâs attention was when the man stepped into the ring. You watched for a few minutes before you started calling out corrections to him, telling him what he was doing wrong.
Like a manager.
Keep reading
Cricket
Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: pure sweet fluff, meet-cute, affectionate dialogue, implied sexual activity (non-explicit), age gap, older man x younger woman, soft!Joel
Word Count: 1.1k
Notes: Enjoy! If you enjoyed it, please like, reblog or comment, Iâd love to hear from you. <3 I've got many more stories in the works! Masterlist ~ AO3 ~ Fic Recs
You stood there looking down at the joint compound in your left hand & the wall spackle in your right, trying to decipher the difference. Not noticing the older man down at the end of the aisle you were in.
A few minutes went by with your brows furrowed & you were still no closer to making a choice between the two as you let out a frustrated sigh.Â
âSomething I can help you with, darlinâ?â A voice said a few feet away from you.
You turned, startled but smiling. âI, uhâyeah, actuallyââ You looked up, expecting to see a man donning an employee vest. ââyou work here?â you asked, noticing he was just in a plain T-shirt & jeans, holding a few items in his hands.
âNo,â he said, with a kindness in his eyes. âJust saw you looked a little⊠perplexed.â
You huffed out a small laugh. âOh, well⊠would you possibly be able to tell me the difference between these?â you asked, holding both tubs out towards him.
He stepped closer, squinting down at what you held. âSpackle & joint compound, huh?â He took the one from your left hand.
âTheyâll both patch holes, but this oneââ he lifted the joint compound slightlyââis what you want if youâre fixinâ somethinâ bigger. Dries smoother, sands easier.â
You nodded, pretending that made perfect sense while your eyes trailed up the line of his arm to where his sleeve strained against his bicep. âRight. Smoother. Easier,â you repeated, slightly distracted.Â
You thanked him, but instead of walking away, you kept talking. About how youâd watched three different YouTube videos on patching drywall & were still convinced you were going to end up with a wall that looked like paper mache. About how youâd already been to the store twice that week & somehow forgotten the same thing both times. And about how all you wanted was to hang a few photos, not renovate the damn place.
You could hear yourself rambling, words tripping over each other, but you couldnât seem to stop. Every nervous habit you had decided to show up all at once. Your laugh was too loud & your hands moved too much.
Meanwhile, he just stood there, calm & unbothered, with a small grin on his face, listening to you fill the silence.
By the time you finally stopped talking, you werenât entirely sure what youâd said, or if any of it had made sense. He told you everything youâd need for the job that you had explained to him earlier during your meandering, and then gave you a few helpful tips. You thanked him again, & when you finally walked away, your cheeks hurt from smiling.Â
As you exited the building, walking out into the parking lot, your purchase swaying in the bag you held, a voice called out from behind you.Â
âHeyââ
You turned, already halfway to your car. He was standing just outside the automatic doors, then began walking toward you the moment your eyes met.
âUh,â he started, a quiet laugh under his breath. âIâs wonderinâ if I could, maybe take you out to dinner sometime.â
You looked at him, the words taking a moment to register. âDinner?â
âYeah,â he said, voice softer now, like he wasnât sure if he was stepping over a line.
He was older than you, by more than a couple of handful of years & he looked so unsure of himself that it made your heart ache a little⊠the way his hand circled his own wrist, thumb dragging a nervous path along the tendon there.Â
For all the confidence heâd had inside the store, there was a shyness to him now, one you hadnât noticed before. But then again, maybe itâd been there all along, hidden beneath the sound of your own blathering.Â
âDinner,â you repeated again, mostly to buy yourself another moment. Your heartbeat skipping ahead, eager to meet whatever was coming.Â
His brow furrowed, looking at you as he started, but then down at the ground. âAinât gotta be dinner if youâd rather not. Could be lunch, or coffee, orâuh, actually just forget I asked.â
You shook your head, smiling softly, trying to put him at ease. âNo, noâdinnerâs good.â
That made him look up again, made his grin come back.
âBut,â you added, stepping closer, âyou gotta help me.â
He raised an eyebrow, amused. âHelp you?â
âYep,â you said, holding up the bag in your hand. âYou take me to dinner, & afterward you have to help me patch up my wall.â
He chuckled. âYou drive a hard bargain, sweetheart.â
âIs that a yes?â you smiled.
âYeah,â he said, smiling back. âItâs a yes.â
_______
Now, a few months later, you still couldnât believe how easy it was to be with him. Because with Joel, everything was different. He was older, yeah & gruffer, sometimes. But dating him hadnât been messy & confusing the way it had been with other people. With Joel, it was steady, straightforward & his words lined up with his actions.Â
He was also maddeningly handsome, & the sex was earth-shattering. Youâd never experienced anything like it. No one had ever made you feel so known & undone all at once. And ever since that first time, neither of you had been able to get enough.
One evening, you were on your back, stretched out on the couch, with your head in his lap, talking away about the day youâd had, when you finally took a breath & closed your mouth.
âNever met anyone who talks as much as you do,â he teased, running his fingers lazily through your hair.
You opened your eyes to look up at him, catching him grinning down at you.Â
âYou say that like itâs a bad thing.â
âDidnât say it was bad. Just sayinâ... kinda like the first time I met you, you wouldnât stop chirpinâ.âÂ
âChirpinâ?â you echoed, laughing.
âYeah. Like a little cricket.â His thumb brushed along your temple. âCouldnât get a word in edgewise.â
Your eyes widened as you came to the realization. âThatâs why you call me Cricket?â
âMm-hmm, I âmember standinâ there just listeninâ to you chirpinâ away, all bright-eyed. Thought to myself, there goes my peace & quiet.â
You grinned, still looking up at him. âAnd yet, you still ran after me & asked me to dinner.â
Joel huffed a quiet laugh through his nose, hand drifting down to trace the curve of your jaw. âYeah, I sure did.â
Tilting your head towards his body, cheek resting against his thigh, you closed your eyes, then asked, âYou miss the peace & quiet you had before me?â
His fingers slipped back into your hair, starting at your temple, combing through the soft strands just past your ear before curling back out, tracing the same path again & again.
âNah, I didnât know what I was really missinâ till you showed up, Cricket. Iâd take âur chirpinâ over peace & quiet any day.â
If you enjoyed, please like, reblog or comment, Iâd love to hear from you. <3
Always wanted it to be him
Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader
Summary: You always wanted it to be him, The only problem: he lied.Â
Word Count: 5.4k
Warnings: angst, a whole lot of it, lying, cursing, navy inaccuracies, toxic relationship, gaslighting, anything else i missed
A/N: This is the first piece of work iâve done in a long while so please bear with me if it is bad! Also this doesn't have a happy ending, or well I think it does but it depends on how you view it haha. I donât have much else to say besides enjoy and I hope to have more out soon! Requests are open!
NOT MY GIF

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Like I Was Yours
Jake âHangmanâ Seresin x reader / Bradley âRoosterâ Bradshaw x reader
Summary: You and Jake were explosive. Fuel to each other's fire, but you were each othersâ. Until you werenât. Bradley was the rain, cool and collected. He was a constant that you always failed to notice. Until you did.Â
Word Count: 5.1K
Trigger warnings:Â Cursing, fights, gaslighting, toxic relationship, Navy inaccuracies, anything else I missed, I'm sorry! No use of Y/N!
A/N: I'm kind of on a roll with these, they are just kind of flowing rn. I'm sorry all I'm writing is angst and hurt but like that's what I'm good at, I tried my best at some fluffy stuff towards the end so tell me how I did! I have more planned coming up soon but if there is something y'all want to see, send in a request!!
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In Time
Jake âHangmanâ Seresin x Reader
Word Count: 8.6k
Summary: They called you Bearâfierce, loyal, impossible to ignore. Flying was freedom. Family. Fire.
But the sky takes as much as it gives. And Jake Seresin learns that some ghosts donât let go.
Trigger Warnings: Character death, aviation accidents, grief, self-destructive behavior, PTSD, survivorâs guilt, mental health, alcohol, cursing, anger, violence (?) death mentions, Navy inaccuracies, funeral, so much angst, very unedited!
A/N: Itâs been a little bit so I had to come back full force obviously. Thank you for sticking around while I figured out my life lol. I recently went through a death of a good friend and it kind of inspired this very loosely. This one made me tear up a little bit so I'm sorry! I think my next work is going to be a bit more happy so stay tuned for that one. I honestly pull a lot of my life to get ideas for a lot of my fics so I gotta be having a good time to get a happier fic out and lately life's been looking up so hope it continues! @littlebitb
[NOT MY GIF]