Leona comfort
Tw: mention of panic attacks, paranoia, anxiety
Sometimes you have paranoia. And sometimes you feel like you're intensely being watched by any open windows or any dark places. It leaves you vulnerable. It makes your skin crawl and you can't help but tense up. Your stomach drops and you hold your breath. There's a immountable pressure upon your chest. You know how terrifying the dark can be. When there's a light, you try to run and you can feel the adrenaline in your veins.
He knows your fears. He knows that when you go to him at night, you run and knock on his door frantically. He's used to it by now.
When he opens it up you're always shaken up and looking behind you as if you were to be attacked. That if you let down your guard for only a second, you'll be eaten away.
He's seen you have a panic attack in the dark before. You describe to him that it always feels like you're going to die any minute, where these irrational thoughts pour into your head; that when your flight or fight instincts come, you want to run but you can't move. You're frozen on the spotlight, the thoughts race in your head and you want to die. It's too much for you, it's so difficult to handle it. It's pathetic to feel so threatened by something so small. Almost laughable. You try to minimize your fears, to say that it's silly; that the chances of being attacked are almost zero. But it doesn't get rid of the pierce of fear that daggers into your heart every time you're alone in the dark. You're stuck. It's getting hard to breathe. You can't run because what if you run into an attack? What if you stupidly run into the enemy? All of these questions and all of these made up scenarios plague you as if to choke the life out of you. You know logically it won't happen. It won't, and yet your brain is controlled by this fear.
He knows, he understands. So the times you do visit him at night, he'll dimly light up the room. The light feels like a savior. Vanishing any hopes of your fears. And with Leona here too you feel safe. He gives you a towel and you wipe your tears and snot. You mumble out a thank you and sit down on the bed curled up. You feel numb. You cry sometimes about how childish and stupid it is, that no normal person should react like this but he knows what you've been through and doesn't consider it dumb. He tells you that many people fear the dark and that you're not alone in it, and that his place will be a reprieve for you whenever you need it so. He's never once kicked you out has he?
You cry.
But this time you cry in relief.
Wiping away the tears, you settle down, feeling the stress leave your body little by little, your form loosening and you can breathe a bit easier now.
For now, this is home.
