What if you went mining.... only to discover not a cave, but a mysterious place beyond anything youâve ever known

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we're not kids anymore.

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@fenreii
What if you went mining.... only to discover not a cave, but a mysterious place beyond anything youâve ever known

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I keep saying this but youtube reactors keep reminding me that it's a thing that needs to be said so:
You need to look at actual people. Influencers and actors and models are not what actual people look like irl. Those people don't even look like that irl! Real people have wrinkles and scars and pockmarks, flabby arms and saggy breasts and bellies that fold and hang over their belts, double chins and crooked noses and acne, yellow and missing teeth, receding hairlines and bald spots and frizz. Real people wear old clothes that don't fit perfectly and aren't particularly stylish or fashionable. Real people wear makeup that cakes and smears and settles into creases. Real people are fat and old and tired.
The people you encounter on the bus or in Walmart or at the library are a million times more reflective of what people actually look than anyone online or on a screen.
Y'know what? Fuck you. *modifies your spritesheet* I'm also putting oddly graphic depiction of cartoon penis on my chapter 5 bingo card. I just think it'd be funny if the little dot eyes weren't visual shorthand from sprite limitations and they just Look Like That. The recent album art only emboldens my vision. This script is actually hella old and I wanted to save it for much later. I kinda spoiled dot eyes Kris a little bit already. Will I ever get to draw this comic in order? Thank you, Toby for giving me 2 weeks to prioritize my more time sensitive scripts. Hopefully any contemporaneous jokes meant for pre-CH5 that I didn't have time to put out are Still Funny.
Cute Beady Eyes: -â Aura debuff
some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it
Shakespeare is like this
Every time I see a Van Gogh thatâs not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away
Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal
saw someone mix up "abysmal" and "abyssal" today, so as a reminder:
her skills are abysmal = she is unskilled
her skills are abyssal = her abilities draw upon the forbidden power of the dark void

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whos ready for chapter 5 (iâm not)
i drew this based on these sprites made by @ AsepriteRico on twt/bsky!!
theyâre so cute but does kris know they have 30 minutes left orâŚ
guys theyre rotting my brain help me
D3rking!merged AU
Wings!! And more wings!!
Anyway, D3rek and KiY merge together and ofc he has to live with the consequences
Working at a company that doesn't exist
"Due to the lack of blue roses in nature, they have come to symbolise mystery and something close to be unachievable. " - Wikipedia

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i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like âwow humans are fucking wildâ and took it
Humanityâs first contact with Vulcans was some guy going âIâm down to fuck.â
Vulcansâ first contact with Humans was an emphatic âSure.â
@sineala
#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan
âsirâŚtheseâŚthese humansâŚthey greet each other byâŚâ *glances around before furtively whispering* âby clasping handsâŚâ
*prolonged silence* âoh myâŚâ
âsirâŚsir how will we make first contact with them? surely weâŚwe cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??â
*several pensive moments later*Â âcontact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, heâll put his hands on anythingâ
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: ââŚ.my day has come.â
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Yâall just be makinâ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: hereâs a screencap of Solkar doing the âmy body is readyâ pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochraneâs hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are âdistant xenophobesâ or âhorny on main for humanityâ. Also apparently this guy is Spockâs great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkarâs descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so Iâm not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkarâs descendants and humans, but Iâm also notâŚ.notâŚ.saying that.
actual footage of first contact makeouts
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes CockraneâsâIâm sorry, Cochraneâsâhand⌠The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual⌠It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkarâs part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
Thatâs why heâs so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar canât believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him canât believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkarâs pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochraneâs firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, âTAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.â
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)
Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture
Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: donât tell me how to do my jobÂ
This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.
They could have explained none of it and responded to the offered hand with a polite bow. First contact was gonna be with the guy who proved they were technologically ready for it but any human aware of Japan and China would recognise that
saw a video that was like âeverybody comment what you did today so we can see how everyone experienced something differentâ and the comments have me tearing up on this train. what the fuckkkk. the human experience
mannn. what ever
books should have a bloopers section with all the most memorable typos
People who are like "I don't understand your identity so I won't respect it" perplex me
Like bro I don't understand how my toilet flushes but I don't leave shit in the bowl

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skeletons in my closet
Anyone can be discarded by society
People get made fun of for being scared of aging but it comes from the very real fear of being discarded by society thatâs why i always say the goal is not to never become old or disabled the future comes for us all the goal is better social policy