how to tell if I'm sad again

- The scars still itch even after all those months. - There isn’t a day that goes by without me thinking about it. - My scars still trigger me. Every. Single. Day. - I won’t ever look at the world like I did before this. - There are a lot of days when I hate myself for the things I’ve done to my body. - I won’t ever look at my body without regrets. - There is not a day I don’t think about it. - I thought it was just a scratch, just once. That once became twice, ended up to be hundreds. - I’ve to thinks twice before I put on clothes. - I’ve to live with a secret written all over my body, every single day. - If I’m lucky to have kids, they will see them. They will ask me about it. - I won’t ever look at people the same as before this. - My skin feels different, almost like it isn’t my own. - I’ve to live with a constant reminder of the time when I was unhappy and very very sick. - They won’t go away. - They won’t go away. - They won’t go away. - They won’t go away. - They won’t go away.

I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what’s really important in life.

Dear followers,

I firmly believe in small gestures: pay for their coffee, hold the door for strangers, over tip, smile or try to be kind even when you don’t feel like it, pay compliments, chase the kid’s runaway ball down the sidewalk and throw it back to him, try to be larger than you are— particularly when it’s difficult. People do notice, people appreciate. I appreciate it when it’s done to (for) me. Small gestures can be an effort, or actually go against our grain (“I’m not a big one for paying compliments…”), but the irony is that almost every time you make them, you feel better about yourself. For a moment life suddenly feels lighter, a bit more Gene Kelly dancing in the rain.