only one.

regina: stupid fucking hospital won’t let me sleep in the stupid fucking family room anymore bc “they’re not a hotel.”

regina: and just as i was about to go to sleep in my car the stupid fucking security guard told me i can’t sleep in their parking lot. what the FUCK?

fel: well, think about it this way. if they let you stay there, then they'd have to let every mother and father of any kids in the nicu stay there too.

– “WHAT?” it was mostly out of confusion, a cluelessly optimistic smile on his face. for a moment – a mere, fleeting moment – he misunderstood. the past tense didn’t register in his brain, and for a moment, he thought, god, she’s pregnant, and then the memories flooded back to him. the accident, the hospital, the month of waiting – agonizing, terrified waiting for her to wake up, and the mixture of horror and shock when she opened her eyes and didn’t recognize him. those memories, on top of the obvious things – she wasn’t showing at all, and god, if she was seven weeks pregnant in april, the baby would be born right around now – made the smile fall from his features as a wave of realization came over him. she had lost the baby in the accident. “w —- what?” it was airy and light, barely slipping past the knot in his throat, which he attempted to swallow as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. 

he couldn’t do much more besides let them fall as he turned the thought over and over in his head. his eyes flickered away when hers did, and the only sound in the room was a quiet sniffle from him. maybe the saying was true – the one that went something like you don’t know how good you’ve got it ‘til it’s gone, except for ez, he hadn’t even known he wanted it in the first place. but he did – he wanted a baby with felicitie more than anything, and he’d had that chance. and if he’d just fucking shredded that letter, she wouldn’t have gone out that night, or maybe if he just hadn’t slept with camila in the first place all those years ago —— “we were gonna have a baby,” he moved closer to her, curling one arm around her waist and the other over her shoulder to place on the back of her head. he pressed a kiss to her forehead, wet with tears. her words paralyzed him, sending a shock down his spine and prompting him to pull away and meet her eyes. “—–you —–” he sniffled, letting out a choked, disbelieving laugh. he cleared his throat, then, his eyebrows furrowing. “—-you want – to try again?” not that they’d tried the first time, but this time —- this time they would, and they’d get another chance. “i want that —- i want that more than anything, fiz. god, i wanna have a baby with you.” he chuckled, a broken, quiet sort of sound, pressing another kiss to her forehead ( this one a bit more energetic than the last ). “you n’ ec —- you —- you’re the light of my life, fiz. knew that from the moment i met you. and – and i —-” he let out a bashful laugh then at his own stuttering. “—- we can do it, fiz. god, we can have a baby. let’s have a baby.”

     ❛ well ... good. ❜      it seemed rather odd to be laughing in this sort of situation. there had been too many tears shed and too much heartbreak to turn this conversation into a blessing. but that’s what life had been all about for them. roadblocks and heartbreak and turning that into something that made them so much better. despite her previous relationships and previous struggles, she couldn’t imagine going through what she had gone through within the last year with anyone else. his hands knew how to hold her and how to make her feel like not one thing on this god forsaken earth could break her. the way he spent his days and most nights protecting this city made her confident that halston was the safest city to keep her children in. the way he watched over their kids –– the way he took her daughter in as his own –– made her confident enough to know that the next two would be raised with class and dignity and love. god, was it clear how much he loved them. that’s why the next sentence that fell from her lips seemed like the easiest in the world.       ❛ ––– what about two ? ❜           her voice was shakey as her eyes scanned his for some way to say that he registered what she had said. knowing ezra, however, he practically studied each word that fell from her lips so she wasn’t surprised when it seemed as though she needed to explain. however, it was easier to move her hands from his face to her stomach to speak.

         “i would’ve asked you first —” she quickly added, not wanting it to seem like she didn’t think about asking her mom to help with the project, “—but it’s a birdhouse ‘cause i took wood shop, remember? you could help me paint it if you want.” there was a small smile on her lips now, she enjoyed spending time with the others. ezra, bryce, and regina were always so easy to get along with, but she still always craved that one on one time between her and her mom — it was just what she was used to growing up. “apparently. nothing major, just have to do it tomorrow by myself while everybody else watches. was thinking i should make a show of it — wear a cape or something,” she joked, wiggling her brows. “enough about that though, i’ll tell you more after it’s over with. how’d your day go?”

         a smile grew at the sound of her mom’s voice echo from the end of the hall, immediately setting her pen down and pushing away from the table. then at the sight of her, the smile grew even more and she slowly made her way toward where she stood. “it was good — minus the project i got assigned, but i’m asking ezra for help on that — also got in trouble for hiding in the bleachers while we did the beep test so i have to do it tomorrow by myself,” she sighed, a very light laugh following before throwing her arms around her mom. “how was your day?”

MAMAS WHO BRUNCH.

               “ ─ i’m telling you, fel. it’s true. ” cat laughed as she shared news about the little kiddies at work. she favoured these times with felicitie and breakfast, she loved breakfast food. “how’s everything?” she asked with concern knowing the other was still recuperating from the past and with the current news of ezra. she reached forwards, giving the other woman a comforting pat on her arm. “how’s ezra? i was planning to get him one of those cookie baskets but i feel he’d rather get one filled with kale. he’s okay, right?” // @felicitiearcher

bryce: its stupid

bryce: promise?

bryce: but why not

bryce: thats stupid

fel: it’s school rules, i’m sorry bud

bryce: but why cant you do it?

bryce: I wont remember late tonight

fel: i'm not your legal guardian, bud

fel: your dad has to sign for all school related things

bryce: on friday were going on an overnight field trip

bryce: to san fran

bryce: and I need someone to sign the slip

fel: bud you're gonna have to wait until late tonight

bryce: are you or dad gonna be home after school

bryce: I need someone to sign something0

fel: i will be, why?

fel: did something happen

bryce: yes

bryce: ill probably need help anyways

fel: it’s a date

fel: i’ll bake some appetizers

bryce: ):

bryce: I dunno yet

bryce: there wont be any emergencies

bryce: nyu

fel: there will always be emergencies

fel: especially when it involves you

bryce: oh jeez

bryce: yeah

bryce: since I was 6

bryce: whyd you look it up?

fel: just wanted to know how long it would take for us to get there

fel: emergencies and such