she should have just come out and said it. it would have been much easier than this back and forth she’s been having with herself all night. it was his first day back at work and she’d been contemplating how to spit it out since his accident. the event is what jolted her to come clean about everything the doctors told her in the hospital after she woke up. at this moment in her life, she didn’t have any idea why she kept it from him. because of her past struggles with infertility, she knew it stung to know she’d been pregnant and lost their baby in her car accident, and after seeing how the accident effected ezra gave her enough reason to keep it on the down low for a little bit. now, with everything almost back to normal, she’d been struggling internally with keeping it a secret. they’d been laying in bed watching a movie and before they got too sleepy. she’d have to speak up. pausing it almost instantly, she decided now was as good a time as any.     ❛ hey. ❜      it was really a whisper before she turned to look at him.      ❛ you remember –– the other day when we were talking about kids ? ‘nd you told me we talked about it before the accident ?. ❜     

fel: i have searched this house up and down and there are none to be found

 ❛  these are mine. ❜    the sight probably caught him off guard. she had laid about fifteen cookbooks around her as she sat almost sprawled out on his hers their kitchen floor. with one in her hand, she rather frantically pciked through the pages to find one of her favorite recipes. before her accident, she’d actually altered it slightly and had it added to the menu at her own up and coming restaurant. her tone was happy for once instead of sullen. finally, there was something familiar in this town that she attached a memory with. as her eyes darted up to look at him, the smile ever displayed on her face was completely genuine.  ❛  they’re my cookbooks, ezra. ❜    // @ezraarcher

fel: what time do you get off?

her chest was tight as she stood in their bedroom. she felt like she’d just dropped a bomb and there seemed to be no reaction from him. she’d shifted from her side of the bed with her pajamas in her hand to move towards the bathroom. she didn’t know if it was the fact that she had a few new scars on her body from random surgeries or if it was just how new it all felt, but she couldn’t be vulnerable in the open. she’d changed in her bathroom even when ezra wasn’t in the room. as she headed to the door off to the side of the master bedroom, she spoke again.  ❛  yea, a date. i wanna go on a date. ❜   // @ezraarcher

( * @ezraarcher )      she knew going hiking was a mistake. being in this group with these people was such a mistake. she didn’t realize how bad she FUCKED up until she noticed her hands start to shake. she’d already stripped down to her sports bra due to the heat outside. they’d only been trapped for what was thirty minutes, but to ace it was so much longer than that. she felt the sweat  d r i p p i n g  off her forehead. her head felt like someone was taking a mallet to it every two seconds. with her sunglasses drapped over her face due to the intensity of the sun, it took her so much longer to realize what was actually going on. with her shaking fingers, she counted how many hours it had been since she’d taken a xanax with shea. 22. twenty two hours since she’d last taken any sort of narcotic. withdrawl. she was too far gone at this point –– she needed to get the hell out of these woods.