Fe Fe ™

Smells like Chocolate || sweatpantsqueen

Kyle was wanting nothing more than to leap out the window at how much his depression was taking over. He missed Ryan; he missed kissing Ryan’s lips, having his arms around him to keep him close for comfort. He missed everything about a guy he knew he liked so much after their first time meeting each other. Kyle was about to start stepping up to jump down from the railing when he heard Jeliza’s voice scream out his name. Afterwards there was Ryan’s voice. Kyle gulped, a tear trickling down his cheek. Why were they here? Kyle had to commit his act quick. His plan was soon demolished once Ryan had gotten to where he was. He heard his course voice speak his name. Kyle didn’t even have the courage to look at Ryan in the eye. “I’m doing what you said.” Kyle snapped. “Except I’ll stay away from everyone, okay?” 

Ryan glared and stepped closer. “That’s not what I wanted. I never, ever would want you to kill yourself because of what I’ve said! I was just freaked out yesterday! That doesn’t mean you should go kill yourself!” Ryan shouted. He stomped the rest of the way to the railing where Kyle stood. Ryan then snatched up both ends of his collar, then shoved him up against the pole behind them. “You really think I would want you to die? After just three or four days of being together—why would you do that? I shouldn’t mean that much to you…” Ryan sighed at the end, “and you shouldn’t mean that much to me either.” he finished. He quickly leaned forward and crashed their lips together.

Kyle stared deeply into Ryan's eyes. He didn't know what to say or how to react when he shoved him against the pole. He was assuming that it would be a full out brawl to see who could stop him from suicide first. Before Kyle knew it, Ryan mushed their lips together to get his point across. "R-Ryan..." Kyle whispered. He departed for a moment, staring deeply into his eyes. "You mean so much to me. I don't want to lose you, Ryan. You're the first man to actually look at me and think I am worthy of being your forever." Kyle croaked.

The Final Days || Effie

Jeliza ran her hand up and down Effie’s spine as she laid her head on her chest. “I love you too, Effie. I’m glad I could make your last couple days special.” Jeliza said, yet her words came out as mere croaking full of mixed vowels and consonants. She couldn’t deal with the thought of Effie’s death. She had caught Effie in all of her worst moments throughout their whole lives. When it was either a simple scratch of the kneecap or a failed overdose on pain killers and bulimia, Jeliza was never not there for her twin. This, though, was the most condition. This time, they both knew how the evening was going to end, and there was going to be only one of them still breathing. “You remember earlier, when Jeffery built his sand castle with Eugene? They claimed they were both the princes of that castle. Penelope was the teeny, tiny princess, and Jeffy was the queen. They don’t fight. Not like we did when we were young. Not like that. They know how to share and get along.” Jeliza repeated herself over again, sighing. “Patrick liked his castle. I think he loves the water more than the rest of them. He has so many shells in his baggie now. I’m going to find a conch shell for him so I can tell him he can listen to the ocean.” she grew a small, humble smile. In Jeliza’s mind, the daydreams of her future still included Effie. She imagined Patrick holding the shell to his ear with an astonished expression, their twins in prince outfits and Jeffy in a long, ruffled dress. Penelope had her hands in Effie’s as she waddled around, learning how to walk. Jeliza herself was just somewhere in the mix of it all, and that’s exactly where she wanted to be. Then, her mind snapped back in time to when she and Effie were their ages. Specifically that one summer that never seemed to leave her mind whenever they arrived at the cottage. They were just six years old in that memory. She and Effie were sitting in that same hammock eating grilled cheeses as they watched their father Eugene fished for dinner on the horizon. That was their tradition, and one of the rare times they didn’t verbally fight each other during the daytime. Jeliza soon learned she would have to start cherishing those moments more and more as they grew older, and now, she felt her heart breaking at the thought of them.

Effie laid back with Jeliza. Her head rested against her chest to listen to her faint heart beat. All the memories washed upon her brain, making her ignore any words someone said. It began when they were little girls, rocking themselves back and forth on the hammock while munching on their mother's delicious, gooey grilled cheese. In that hammock was where they bonded the most. They never fought, nor yelled at one another. They giggled as they watched their father's aggravation with the fish before he finally caught the biggest one to have for their dinner. Next, their first time. Being cuddled with her sister in the nude as they kissed and tangled their limbs; kissing one another then having oral together-- it was all so beautiful. Their wedding day, them making passionate love to one another, Effie had so many memories with Jeliza. She didn't want to let them go away. Albeit that she wanted her memories with Jeliza to stay aboard, she couldn't much longer. Soon the pain unleashed vastly and Effie clutched to her wife,  but made sure it felt like it was for love. She felt more and more exhausted, an ill feeling. Then Effie realized it; her body was ready for nature to take its course. Her eyes slowly fluttered, her hand gripped Jeliza's. "I love you so much Jel." she murmured one last time before her eyes shut, and moments later Effie passed away.