salome

*grabbing you by the hair while you are blindfolded and kneeling* no damnit, thats the phillips-head screwdriver, you can tell because its vibrational aura is two waves, the yin being a half cycle out of phase. try again. place your fingers into the toolbox again, but this time feel with the spirit, not the body

this grave keeper edible aint shit

getting escorted out of a gun show for rating them based on mouth feel

I love watching those hypnotic fix it videos on reels of filthy awful old rugs and carpets being pressure washed into glory again but I can't shake the feeling that I'm being deceived. That these rugs are made dirty on purpose for the video and not "actually" dirty even though they are actually dirty. It's not "real" dirt. Not the wholesome organic layer of wear that comes from honest work. Just some stolen valor dirt that was slathered on like makeup on a Hollywood hussy. How can I justify supporting that kind of content

remember when straight guys on reddit posted elaborate cuckold fantasies about the president of ukraine

lotta "no"s in the notes. looks like you gotta elaborate for us op

you had to be there

if i was an animal id be a gorilla

Darling, sweetie, Baby... you are already an animal

Don’t listen Ricky you are perfect human child roughly decently sized watermelon stature

thats true and kind

I cannot emphasize this enough as a practical life skill: learn how to say no to authority figures. Learn how to tell them that nothing they can do to you will change your mind. Disappoint your parents. You have to live your own life.

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

Nice stigmata scar. Too bad it’s on the gay hand.