✨ i dont wanna die ✨

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“or you could’ve just brought nothing. if only someone had told you that before,” he rolled his eyes playfully. he was fully expecting damien not to listen, and would’ve been very surprised if he had. he was just a provider in that sense, it was just who he was. “thank you! i’m glad you like it. i was nervous about it,” he chuckled. damien brought michael to his knees with his mere existence, so it definitely did something for him when the man smiled and winked at him. “yeah. kinda feels like it’s been forever, and at the same time it feels like it was just yesterday,” he shrugged. that’s what it had felt like the whole time damien had been in town—it had been long enough to be a little awkward, but it felt so familiar it was as if time hadn’t passed. at least for michael it was like that. “been a bit over a year, though. whether it feels like it or not.” he sipped on his wine. there was so much he wanted to tell damien, but he was too afraid still to confess anything while having no guarantees on the older man’s feelings. so, maybe some other time. “i broke up with dan.”

“it’s an absolute delicacy, you’ve been missing out,” he laughs softly. “of course regular cap’n crunch, babe, i’m not a complete sociopath,” michael replies and chuckles. sitting across damien, he finally realizes how much it looks like a happy meal on a plate, and he gets a little nervous that the man might actually hate it. “if you don’t like it, though, we can order some food. though i will be emotionally bruised for a long time,” he teases, wide brown eyes looking up at the older man. he begins eating, happy to find out his favorite dish actually still holds up and is as good as he remembers it. he examines damien, trying to read in his face whether he’s enjoying it or throwing up in his mouth. “i’m glad you agreed to dinner. i’m sure you’re like, sooooo busy, but i appreciate you making the time,” he smiles, and sips on his wine. “i’ve, like, missed you.” it’s a simple statement, but as soon as michael says it, he feels as if he’d confessed his deepest darkest secret for some reason. “a lot,” he adds in a mumble, before stuffing his mouth with fried chicken before he says something dumber.

“yes, well, i’m only comfortable being the most attractive person in the room, so,” he shrugged playfully. he never felt like the hottest person anywhere (unless he was alone), but he’d always known how to turn on the faux confidence, specially for damien. he refused to let him in on his thoughts and feelings, to let him know how badly he craved reassurance. “i kinda grew up having to take care of myself, which is hard when you’re, you know, a fucking child. so it was mostly microwaveable meals and junk and leftovers about to go bad. i don’t enjoy the kitchen,” he admitted. “and i’m sure you’ve had all the best foods from all the best restaurants and top chefs… but have you ever had cap’n crunch fried chicken?” at least it would be memorable. he served their plates and brought them to the table. “do you reckon this will pair best with a dry red, or a rich white?” he joked as he poured some pinot noir on their glasses and took a seat. “this was my favorite growing up, and i don’t know. thought i’d make it for ya’ i guess. cause you couldn’t get it anywhere else but here.”

★

honestly, from the moment he’d come up with the grand idea of having damien over to talk, he knew it hadn’t been his brightest thought. he usually does the opposite of what oliver advises which, more often than not, wounds up being the smart decision. but feelings aren’t smart, and love is probably the dumbest one of them all. he wasn’t sure what all he’d be telling damien, but he’d rather play it by ear than have a script prepared. whatever needs to happen, will happen, and he knows that to be true because life gave the two of them a second chance. 

as he sets up the table, he realizes what a dumb choice it was to bake him literal cereal covered chicken strips, but it’s too late to change anything at this point. he’s wearing a pair of nice jeans, a black shirt with thin white stripes, and an olive green jacket on top. he’s not revolutionizing the world of fashion any time soon, but he does look hot, which is all that matters. he practically runs to the door when he hears a knock, and he smirks when damien explains he brought dessert. “yeah, i knew you wouldn’t listen, but i was kinda hoping you’d bring over some dom perignon, at least,” he teases. he takes the cake from him and steps aside so he can enter. “you look great.”

michael: idk

michael: hopefully before the guilt fully consumes me

michael: kinda felt that way

michael: i heard your voice first and i thought it couldn't be you. but also at the same time i knew it couldn't NOT be you lol.

michael: i think i /wanted/ you to be a ghost.

michael: but you weren't, ykwim?

michael: how did you even end up here of all places? lol

michael: ollie says it's not even a good spot for a bar

michael: not to like jinx you or anything i'm sure you'll be fine but

damien: right, because my voice is so different from everyone else's eh?

damien: i guess that would have been fair - i can't say there's too many people that you know, were involved that would wanna keep up with an ex, right?

damien: i knew the guy selling the bar lol

damien: met him a few years back at some boring party, told me about his spot and how he wasn't sure how much longer he'd keep it around and all that - so you know me, always up to hop on a business opportunity so here i am

michael: i've just realized that it doesn't matter that nothing's gonna happen w damien, it's still shitty to be with someone when i know i want to be with someone else

michael: yk?

michael: like, it's not a dumb crush it's FEELINGS and they're not going anywhere

ollie: i suppose i get where you're coming from

michael: i always do babe

michael: you know

michael: i freaked out when i first found out you were in town

michael: but now i have to say that you turning up here is my favorite coincidence.

damien: i honestly thought you'd seen a ghost when we bumped into each other

damien: though i guess in a metaphorical sense you did, huh?

damien: it's a small world after all, huh?

michael: always been wise

michael: i'm your voice of reason, remember?

damien [unsent]: you always will be

damien: again, you make a valid point.

damien [unsent]: i wish you didn't have the stupid boyfriend, i just want you here.

michael: doesn't really matter what i say now bc i have to breakup with dan either way

michael: i've said too much already

michael: THOUGHT too much already

ollie: what do you mean HAVE to

michael: i think sometimes what we want and what we can achieve are different things

michael: im dying to tell him i love him rn

ollie: 👀

michael: yeah?

michael: i see a lot in you too

michael: and i wish you could see it too

damien: yeah.

michael: *screenshot of damien's last text*

michael: OLIVER HE'S SO

michael: it's not going to happen, at least not tomorrow