F*cking Nerd Abroad

Today we’re going to talk about beer!!!

In Ireland, I’ve had the good fortune of trying the three most common types of stout available (seen below). All of these would pretty much be considered ‘domestics’, mass-produced, widely available, and owned by an international beer company.

Guinness (Diageo)

Here’s the Irish stout that everyone thinks of. It’s drank heavily in Dublin and surrounding areas and tends to be the ‘go-to’ beer here. Also obviously available internationally. If you have no idea what to order, the pub will always have Guinness, guaranteed. 

The flavor of Guinness really depends on the pub and who is pouring the pint. If you get a good pint of Guinness it will be creamy, milky, and go down very easy without much of a bitter or watery taste. There should be some head (but not a lot), the pourer should fill the glass about 2/3′s of the way full and then let it rest for about a minute or two. Oh also it is utter sacrilege to spill one drop. If you every see someone pouring a pint and they fill the glass to where a little bit spills over the side, leave immediately. They are a bad pub and should feel bad. As for the can, just don’t get Guinness in a can. It tastes bad, even with the little widget thingy.

Classic. Notice no side-spillage.

Murphy’s (Heineken)

This beer is originally from Cork and was the Catholic beer of choice. It seems to be available on a limited basis within Europe but doesn’t really extend to the States. It has a far more complex flavor than Guinness. If you normally like microbrewed stouts, you’ll really like this one. It has a deep chocolaty and slightly bitter taste with some really nice coffee notes. Again, if you normally like dark beers, this is a good one. Waaaay better than Guinness, in my estimation. Also actually tastes pretty ok from the can.

So good.

Beamish (Heineken)

And here we finally have my absolute favorite. Beamish is the original Protestant Cork beer and is much different from Murphy’s.  Where Murphy’s has an intense flavor, Beamish is smooth. The head on this one is usually way creamier than either Guinness or Murphy’s. Where Guinness gives you a really delicious creamy flavor only under the right circumstances (proper local, good pour, etc.), I’ve gotten this taste out of a Beamish can before! This one isn’t available outside of Ireland, so tough luck and drink it while you’re here!

My favorite....

Well hopefully these pictures and descriptions have made you want to go out and get a pint of your own today. Go for it!

In previous posts, I covered the medieval cities of Gradec and Kaptol. In this final segment, I focus on some newer editions to Zagreb.

In the 1800s, Zagreb decided to expand with a slew of new building. While some of this happened to the north, it gets kind of challenging to build on mountains, so much of this occurred to the flat(er) south. This area is often called the “Lower” or “New City”, characterized by grandiose stone buildings and national projects.  From where we last ended (Zagreb Cathedral), you head south and wander into Zagreb’s main square,  Ban Jelačić Square. This is a very popular area, with lots of shopping, entertainment, and restaurants. The centerpiece of the square is a statue of  Ban Jelačić, a Croatian national hero who, during the days of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, lobbied for Croatia to be an equal part of the Empire rather than supplicants. He was also known as a fierce fighter. When Croatia was part of Communist Yugoslavia, the authorities took down the statue but Croatians restored it upon independence.

Turn west and head down Ilica Street (with all the trams) to see one of Zagreb’s main, historic shopping streets. As you walk down it, stop in Kraš, Zagreb’s famous chocolate company. They both sell ‘fancy’ chocolate (bon-bons, truffles, etc.) as well as regular bars. Or go to Vincek Slastičarnica, a cafe with homemade ice cream and pastries. I went to both of these places and it was fabulous! No pictures though because I immediately ate whatever I bought...

Head south from Ilica Street and you get to the lovely Zagreb National Theatre, which was built as a theatre for the people of Croatia, during the time of national arts movements. 

Continue heading south and you find some lovely buildings and the Croatian National Archive (white building on the left).

Continue south for one more street and you reach the Botanical Gardens which was unfortunately closed at the time I was there. Head east from the Gardens to find the Zagreb Central train station, Glavni Kolodvor. It is a grand station both inside and out, partially because it was one of the main stops of the Orient Express, on the way to Istanbul. While the Orient Express is long over, you can still catch trains to other areas of South-Eastern Europe or head all the way to Austria or Munich.

From Central Station head north again and walk through the main park lined avenue in Zagreb. Since city planners had a fairly blank slate in this (former) farmland, they planned two grand park avenues, one (at the National Theatre) and the other running parallel with multiple museums and other institutions.

Once you walk all the way down, you end back up at Zagreb’s Main Square with a famous meeting clock (similar to the Penn Station clock in NYC). 

So, when we left off last time, we had just gotten to the Stone Gate and were leaving Gradec. As you walk through the Stone Gate, there is a shrine to the Virgin Mary (not pictured). There are lots of candles and it’s really very beautiful. I didn’t take a picture because it seemed irreverent at the time to do so.

On the other side of the Stone Gate (leaving Gradec), there is a statue of St. George and the Dragon. St. George is apparently very important to the people of Zagreb.

 Heading south and downhill, you turn at the first left onto “Krvavi Most” or “Blood Street”. 

This is the famous site of the former “Bloody Bridge”. While Gradec and Kaptol currently live harmoniously, this was not always the case. This street was originally the site of the main bridge over the river that connected the two cities. Apparently the fighting got so bad that the entire bridge was covered in blood and got the name “Bloody Bridge”. Note: if you’re not sure if you’re in the right place, there’s a souvenir shop called “Bloody Bridge” right in the middle of the street.

Walk to the end of this little street and turn left. You are now on the path of the former river that went between Gradec and Kaptol. The street actually weaves left and right because it follows the path of the river, which was put underground in the 1800s. Continue north on this path and go past tons and tons of bars/pubs. This area is known as the “Street of 100 Bars” and there really are a lot of them!

As you walk north, you’ll eventually see an intriguing looking staircase on the right, going under a wall. This wall is the old city wall of Kaptol. Go up the stairs and you’ll enter a cute park ringed by the old city wall. Head out from the only exit (south-east corner) and walk south. Welcome to Kaptol, the Bishop’s City!

Continue south and down a short flight of stairs and you’ve found the Zagreb Market! This open-air market is open every day, full of farmers selling some great produce, along with souvenirs and just about anything else! Veer to the left and head east. You should emerge from the market in front of a huge church.

 This is the Zagreb Cathedral, the heart of Kaptol. The cathedral has walls on the sides of it as extra fortifications in case the regular city walls were overrun. Note that it will likely be under construction if you visit.

On the left of the cathedral, you will see a stopped clock. In the 1800s Zagreb had a terrible earthquake and that clock stopped right when it hit. In addition, just to the right of the clock you can see the previous environmental damage to the church that the current restoration is working to fix. Inside the church you can find the original Croatian language script before they converted to Latin letters, along with some really interesting architecture.

Recently, I got the opportunity to visit Zagreb, Croatia. Before this trip I was vaguely aware that Croatia was a country and located next to Italy, but wasn’t terribly sure of much else about it. That all changed when I had the opportunity to visit for a conference. Zagreb is incredibly unique. The city originally was created from two separate medieval settlements, Gradec and Kaptol. Today, I’m going to talk about the ‘Upper City’, Gradec.

Gradec was known as the ‘Free City’ since it was given free reign to operate its own affairs by King Béla IV in 1242. Gradec is located on a large hill which overlooks the rest of the city. While getting up there can be a bit of a hike, it’s definitely worth it. In addition, there is a funicular that runs every ten minutes, which gets you up to the top in fifty seconds. Also taxis can easily drive up there.

If you take the funicular up to the top, you find the Lotrščak Tower, where the city fires a (small) cannon from one of the windows every day. It is incredibly loud! You can also get an excellent view of the city from here.     

 Heading north from the tower, you run into the fabulous Museum of Broken Relationships, dedicated to objects that represent the end of people’s relationships. The stories behind these objects are absolutely fascinating and I left with a much better appreciation of the power of story. As you continue north into the heart of Gradec you can find St. Marks Church, the political center of Croatia, with the Croatian Parliament and various government offices nearby.   To underscore this point, the roof of the church is tiled with the Croatian tri-color and coat of arms (red and white checks) and the coat of arms of Zagreb (a castle with a star and moon above it). It was originally built by Venetians, whose city’s patron saint is St. Mark.

If you then go south-west from St. Marks, you find the Croatian History Museum. While the exhibit is small, they have a great deal of very interesting artifacts from all throughout Croatia’s history. Also, they are fully aware of their size and the exhibit was partially dedicated to them requesting money for a larger space.

Heading north from the history museum, around St. Marks Square, you run into the City Museum of Zagreb (north-east side of Gradec). This is an excellent museum with exhibits in both Croatian and English. There is a section on archaeology all the way up to Croatia’s departure from Yugoslavia. Pics were not allowed, so I only have a photo of the door.

Continuing south-east, you see a pharmacy first started by Dante Alligheri’s grandson. It is still a pharmacy today. 

Turning east down the road the pharmacy is on, you run into one of the original gates of the city of Gradec, the Stone Gate.

If you continue through the Stone Gate you head out of Gradec and eventually into Kaptol, the Bishop’s City, which I will cover in my next post.

Other notable sites in Gradec: Gric Park, which also doubles as an archaeological site and the St. Catherine of Alexandria Church.

Sweet Jesus, the taxis.

The more I ride in Dublin the more I realize that there is one way to get somewhere. If you do not take that mythical way, you will find yourself diverted halfway across the city for no damn good reason. There are lots of other bikes on the road, which is nice. It can just be stressful sometimes. Luckily, I have found the mythical route, which has a bike path for about 90% of the route!

It's good to get exercise, just sometimes it can be exhausting to put up with the taxis that will literally cut you off for giggles.

There’s a bluntness in Irish social interactions that I didn’t really anticipate. Everyone says that the Dutch are very blunt, so when I went to Amsterdam, I might have been more prepared for it. It just seems like there’s far less room for bullshit here. In the Midwest, if you don’t like something, you kind of tone down your remarks or look wistfully out into the distance, or do any number of a hundred “Get out of this without a conflict” tactics. In Ireland, you mostly just say it. I’ve seen yelling matches with the bus driver and even friendly advice is really direct. Irish Person 1: You should go to this place, it’s awesome. Me: Ok, yeah I’ll give it a shot sometime. (noncommittal Midwestern answer) Irish Person 1: Go there. Right now. Today. It is the best choice for everyone. Me: Ok, I’ll go...

1. The weather seriously changes every 10 minutes. It goes from cloudy back to super-sunny and then back again about 2 million times a day.

2. Left side of the road driving is just confusing. HOW ARE LEFT TURNS SAFER THAN RIGHT TURNS?!?!?

3. Sambos = sandwiches

4. Purple Skittles are black currant not grape flavored (which is actually much nicer). 5. My inner monologue likes to talk to me in an Irish accent and I’ve been in the country 2 days.

6. Everyone is super nice.

7. I keep going into places and remembering that I can chitchat with cashiers and such b/c it’s Ireland, not The Netherlands...

8. Food is pretty normal, although a worker asked me if I wanted both butter and mayonnaise on my fried chicken sandwich yesterday.

9. It is actually as green as they say.

10. I swear to God that the touristy area of Dublin is 100% populated by old, white Americans. I don’t know where they go afterwards but I never see them outside of that area.

11. The Book of Kells viewing line is Heaven’s Waiting Room, Part II.

12. Trinity College Dublin is so old and beautiful, except for the library. I swear, every university in the 1960s decided it was a good idea to build a new library that bears a strange architectural resemblance to genital warts. EVERY. UNIVERSITY. 13. The suburbs are literally everything outside of the city center.

14. Dublin seems to be more ‘town-centered’. So, instead of Amsterdam where mixed-use is the rule, in Dublin you have large areas of housing with retail centers clustered closely together, often in what used to be an independent town but is now considered part of Dublin.

15. The LUAS is really nice and fast. It’s a tram that converts to light rail when you get out of the city center.

16. Dublin public transportation is really good. Between bus and LUAS you really have everything you need.

Stroopwafels Good lord, even the store-bought versions of these things are good! They are literally two thin waffle cookies with delicious syrup/honey/goo in between. Soooo satisfying....

Kaas Souffles These are also amazing. They are pretty much a hot pocket filled with nothing but sweet, sweet cheese. They are considered a snack and are everywhere! A box of 6 is one euro.

Croquettes Think Kaas-Souffles but filled with meat and gravy. Also a slightly different breading. FEBO is known for them, but more on that later. Oh, and the vegan/vegetarian ones taste the best.

Bitterballen Think croquettes, just in ball form. These seem to be a requirement for every pub in the Netherlands to serve. If you want a variety of bitterballen (different meats, stuffings, etc.) order the ‘Borrelmix’.

Ham and Cheese Corn Puffs Literally Cheetos that taste like ham. I wasn’t sure if I liked them at first and now I can’t stop eating them. 

They just taste like cheese with a little extra meaty flavor but it’s nice.

Cheap Gouda Gouda is no longer fancy cheese but everyday cheese. There are less aged (jong) and more aged (oud) varieties but it’s all still pretty affordable.

Satè Sauce Goddamn peanut sauce is my drug, my everything. I put it on absolutely everything (fries, bread, eat it from the jar with a spoon) and have no idea how I lived without it for so long. They also stuff croquettes with it... Fun fact: Dutch food has a lot of Indonesian influence, since they were a Dutch colony until 1945. Indonesian and Surinamese food are by far the most common international foods I’ve seen here.

Chocolate Hagelslag This is just chocolate sprinkles that are acceptable to eat for breakfast. There is nothing else to them but I want them all the time now.

Honorable Mention:

Marmite No, this is not Dutch at all but I have to declare my love of this food publically, for all to know. It tastes like a yeasty, olive spread but it is actually really good. Planning on procuring my own pot of it soon...

The eastern area of Amsterdam is a fantastic place to live. The area is bisected by Wijittenbach Straat (east-west) and Middenweg (north-south). It’s home to the most culturally diverse park in Amsterdam (their claim, not mine) and has a lot of great places to live, eat and shop. It seems like there are fewer tourists as it’s much harder to get to from the typical tourist destinations. Most tourists, if they wander out of Centraal, seem to get to the Rijksmuseum or Van Gogh Museum and then walk south into Oud Suid (Old South) or east into De Pijp. There are some smaller tourist attractions in Oost but it seems like most of the amenities are for those living here.

Oosterpark is really one of the main highlights. All the parks in Amsterdam are perfectly manicured and absolutely beautiful! There are walking paths, dogs are off-leash, and there’s even a beautiful lake. 

Ugh, it’s almost stupid how pretty it is.

Seriously, it’s this ridiculously pretty all the time. Even the rain just gives it a different kind of pretty.

Look, wooden dinosaurs!!!!

You can then head east from Oosterpark down Wijittenbachstraat. 

Everything is beautiful and perfect all the time. Dear God...

On Wijttenbachstraat there are about 6 different lanes of traffic to watch out for. My diagram is below.

| Bikes/Mopeds | Cars | Tram/Bus | Tram/Bus | Cars | Bikes/Mopeds |

Luckily all of those, except for bikes/mopeds will actually stop when you’re in a crosswalk. Also, see that red strip next to the sidewalk that looks like a slightly lower sidewalk? That’s the bike lane. It’s red with the blood of pedestrians that thought it would be a good idea to go into the bike lane!

Walk down Wijttenbachstraat and you get to the Dappermarkt. Unlike the Albert Cuypmarkt in De Pijp, this outdoor market seems to be geared towards residents, rather than tourists. Lots of fresh meat, fish, veggies, cheese, along with clothing vendors and just about anything you could want. (I haven’t gotten a picture of it yet but it’s literally 6 days a week.) On the same street, you'll find FEBO (oh god, how delicious!), along with Mcdonalds, KFC, Albert Heijn, and Lidl.

 Keep going down Wijittenbachstraat and you get to Muiderpoort station, our local train station. From here you can catch the regional Sprinter trains that can quickly take you across town or even to another city. Keep walking under the tracks and you’ll get to Indischebuurt (Indian Neighborhood). There you’ll find more international restaurants and markets. If you keep going, you will hit, guess what?, another perfect park! This is Flevopark.

Ok I know this looks like the scary place your parents told you not to go to but I promise it’s fine. This is just what walkways under roads look like.

Go through the gates and you enter yet another perfect wonderland park!

Apparently our clothes dryer has a reservoir that fills up with water as you dry clothing. We realized this when it made a constant ear-shattering, smoke detector level BEEPing noise and we panicked while trying to read the warning light with our terrible Dutch and turn the damn thing off at the same time!

Here is our innocent little dryer:

And here is the giant, water-filled reservoir I pulled out of the sucker!