rare is this love, keep it covered

Dessert Cafe ❤️

He Tian glares at the printer’s screen. 

‘Low ink level : Please change cartridge’ it says, though every gauge is nearly full, except for magenta. He’s already looked through the drawers and only found one yellow cartridge left over. He doesn’t need colors anyway so he ignores the warning and presses the PRINT button again. The machine lets out a strident beep and repeats the warning. ‘Low ink level : Impression quality could be compromised. Do you want to proceed?’ He presses the button again and during a second of silence, he hopes that stupid machine can figure out how to print documents in grayscale using the ink from the very full black cartridge instead of begging for fucking magenta."

preemptive disclaimer that this is just how i see the more recent developments. i am always open to discuss or expand on anything :)

I don't know how to word this in a way I can fully convey my thoughts on tianshan's plotline in the future. However, for some time now, I've read people say they don't understand why OX is "recycling" the runner-chaser dynamic. How it feels like Mo Guan Shan is overreacting or being excessively cold towards He Tian upon his return. Shouldn't he more confident in their relationship after everything they've been through and all that He Tian's done for him?

The thing is that (to me) it is precisely because He Tian has been there for Mo in some of the most traumatic times of his life, showing him it is possible for him to rely in others for his own benefit and that intimacy isn't a set-up for pain and then disappearing that makes it so hard for him to trust He Tian again. It’s not so much that Mo doesn’t believe He Tian’s words or actions or that he's forgot them, as it is that those very gestures are irremediably tangled with the memory of his disappearance.

Also, neither have had a break since the end middle school.

From Mo's perspective, it's been rug pull after rug pull after thinking he's reached some sense of normalcy. Back in their teenage years, right after Mo admits to himself and He Tian he has feelings for him, he's *fine* with He Tian leaving, because in his mind there's no doubt he'll come back. That... obviously doesn't happen and Mo is left to relive the same trauma of the person you trust most "leaving you behind".

From He Tian’s perspective, the “darkness” of his family is a force he both resents and exploits, a weapon he wields when he must protect others. It is that same family’s expectations that strip him of the chance to live like an ordinary teenager — carefree with his friends, honest with the guy he loves. And it is that same shadow that feeds directly into Mo’s fear of abandonment, while also mirroring He Tian’s own. We have already seen He Tian’s genuine terror at the thought of Mo finding him repulsive, especially after he unleashed his brother’s underlings and Qiu to deal with She Li, letting that inherited darkness take control of him.

...and the utter relief at seeing Mo actually not only being not scared, but also accepting it and cherishing him.

That "darkness" is what also holds him back from being with Mo, while also being the source of wealth he builds up to give Mo what he thinks he needs (and ultimately feeding conflict, as Mo feels his autonomy is being trampled).

The point is... these two's relationship is genuinely built on them seeing each other's at their worst and accepting all these "ugly" aspects, while growing as people. But.. apart from the absolutely adorable slice-of-life moments they had before He Tian's departure, these guys just haven't had a moment to sit down and lay any foundations to their relationship outside of these high-intensity events.

And from what we’ve seen, He Tian’s tendency to leave is a recurring pattern. Granted, this occurs after the Christmas specials (Mo doesn't work at a grocers anymore) so we don't know if He Tian left for business in amicable terms or just vanished -- yet it's clear that neither have had the balls to be honest with each other. For Mo, it's because he doesn't want to risk being left again after opening up, despite caring a lot about He Tian. That and he's just stubborn and prideful af, love it or hate it, and that always ends up being a setback that hurts him, most of all, and those around him.

As for He Tian… the last chapter left us on a frustrating cliffhanger, so we’ll have to wait and see. My theory is that his involvement in this new “business” is both a blessing (it allows him to earn his own money and provide for Mo) and a curse, since it keeps him away, forces secrecy, and deepens the distance between them.

Which leads to He Tian relying on abundance and grandiosity as proof of love (material abundance used to be his only stable resource of affection, so he leans on it as shorthand for his devotion to Mo). Which in turn bypasses Mo's hangup regarding social status and pushes yet another point of frustration. Ultimately, He Tian controls the “when” and “how” of the gesture, leaving Mo little room to meet him halfway and hurts his pride (not that He Tian would ever ask him to return the favour).

Whether he’s truly autonomous from his family remains unclear. What is clear is that He Tian looks more exhausted and sullen than we’ve ever seen him and he can't keep his cool facade for much longer.

So, no. They have grown up, sure, but their relationship feels as though it’s only beginning again, because in many ways it is. At least, there is a chance for it to take a more honest path.

and this idea can probably be summed up with a single sentence: guan shan will never automatically accept anything that seems safe or too good to be true, and he tian will never be completely satisfied with anything that he has. guan shan is too much of a skeptic/cynic and he tian is too greedy/ambitious. in a way, guan shan is the literal embodiment of “push” and he tian of “pull.” 

so, yeah, it doesn’t surprise me that nothing has really changed in the adult timeline. it's largely due to the trauma, yes, but it's also just how they are. and quite frankly, I don’t anticipate their dynamic changing much at all — ever. and maybe I’m in the minority but I don’t consider that a bad thing! in fact, I’d argue this permanent back-and-forth dynamic is necessary for their relationship’s continuity because, like I said, it’s literally integral and inherent to their independent personalities. they fill each other’s niches. they subsist on one another.