one track mind
one track heart
if I fail, I'll fall apart
maybe it is all a test
'cause I feel like I'm the worst
so I always act like I'm the best φ astraea carrow φ
sixth year ravenclaw
The library was Ramona’s sanctuary. It’d fascinated her ever since the first time she’d set foot in it. In any case, it was definitely more fascinating than her history of magic homework, which at some point she’d stopped actually working on and began doodling comics in the margins. Idly, she turned to the person sitting next to her, not quite caring that they might be caught up in their own work. They were the one’s who had sat next to her, not vice versa. “Hey, do you think anyone’s ever read like every book here? The one’s not in the restricted section anyways. Do you think I could set a world record? That’d be fun, right?”
it was definitely one of those days wherein astraea’s mental capacity to focus has reached its end — making her easily distracted about the slightest things around her. it was incredibly frustrating and annoying to know that she had no control over this; but she won’t let it discourage her to TRY and focus on the workload that she’s attempting to accomplish before curfew. just as she thought she was entering the so-called “zone”, a voice from her left broke through her concentration — leaving her distracted once more because of a simple question. ❝ not... not that i have heard of, no. ❞ the ravenclaw answered, her own brows furrowing at the intriguing question. ❝ i guess if you have the time and the patience, perhaps you could try to be the first one. ❞
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True purebloods were starting to be lacking, and not just by name: many held the title but didn’t live by its standards, something Eden felt would be the downfall of the magical community. When nobody thought to fight against the muggle invasion led by the halfbloods and their beloved mudbloods, who would be left to defend their traditions? Because of this, Eden wanted to make sure the few purebloods still in existence had no reason to stray from their ideals. Which meant looking after them, being a friend, a brother of sorts. Sometimes it was an effortless task, like with the Rowles or Scorpius, and other times he had to put in an extra bit of effort for one reason or another.
When it came to Astraea Carrow, he simply thought the girl needed to loosen up and learn to have fun. “Which means that if we are allowed to go to Hogsmeade, you should absolutely tag along. I’m not too hopeful on that front though, so we’ll have to think of something else. Well, no matter what happens, you and I need to spend some time together, alright?”
despite of being on the same side of the fence with the gryffindor for the longest time now, star never really knew how to act around with the likes of eden rosier. she always perceive him as someone who is fun and who knows to have a good time, however, the witch thinks he might be a little too WILD for her taste. that, or she could always chalk it up to her eternal awkwardness and shyness for not spending that much time with him. knowing herself, it was probably more of the latter reason rather than the former.
and so imagine her surprise when the wizard approached her while on her way out of the great hall, asking her hang out with him sometime, ❝ granting that we are not allowed to go to hogsmeade due to obvious...reasons, ❞ the witch still couldn’t help but to frown a little at the thought of the recent incident, ❝ what do you have in mind as a plan b ? ❞
“I wasn’t specifically asking you, you just happened to be in the area whilst I thought aloud.” Estelle shrugged, waving a hand dismissively. “Well, obviously, there’s no question there. I’m having a difficult time wrapping my mind around it all, that just happens to be the aspect I can’t stop fixating on. Message received, why not stop while you’re ahead? And yes, again, I know they’re killers, it’s just bothering me.”
astraea couldn’t help but to make a face at the other witch’s dismissive attitude, ❝ i suppose that’s their own established style after a kill. most serial killers have one. ❞ she explained, quite confused as to why the hufflepuff was so fixated on the method rather than the tragedy itself. ❝ that or they’re neophytes who have read too many mystery-crime novels in their lifetime. ❞
margaery watched as the other student just shook their head in response to astraea and walked away, chuckling slightly as she approached the carrow, margaery raised an eyebrow. “now that could’ve gone better.” she said, turning her head to look back at the student. “though i must say it was a valiant effort… and i don’t blame you, i’d try most anything to get this crying to stop right now too if i’m being honest.”
with her eyes still trailing after the student she was talking to, astraea sighed before shrugging her shoulders, ❝ i suppose that was the best possible outcome. i was kinda expecting for them to yell at me to shut up. ❞ as a person who was not as confrontational as one would expect, this was certainly a win on her book. ❝ i only want them to realize — while completely valid — that crying and screaming would be quite counterproductive on their part. logically speaking, i mean. ❞
“ honestly, the younger years should be scared. you heard what happened. ” he thought he was acting exactly how a person in such a situation should act. “ three students they knew are dead. not quite an optimal position to be in, is it ? ”
❝ while i get your point, i believe you completely missed mine. ❞ she told the other patiently, feeling uncomfortable to be put in this kind of confrontational situation. ❝ you do not need to add more fuel into the fire, zeke. them seeing you acting like that fuels their fear even more. which is counterproductive from the headmistress’ wishes. ❞
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rupi takes a deep breath to calm her hammering heart, but does nothing to try and keep herself from being furious. “compose myself?” she repeats, looking the other girl over with something like disgust. “people died. if you can ‘compose yourself’ about that then you’re heartless.”
❝ i am not being heartless, i am being logical. ❞ the witch pressed, frowning at the other as she obviously missed her point for this one. still, that didn’t prevent the slight sting within her chest at the girl’s accusation. ❝ the lower years could see you being scared as them. while rightfully so, that is not what they want to see in us upperclassmen as of now. go berserk for all you want, yes, but PLEASE do not do it in front of the children. the last thing they need is more fear being injected into them. ❞
Sabine really hadn’t meant to start crying when the subject of the previous night was brought up yet again but it had just happened. Though, could you BLAME her ? When she heard Astraea’s words she knew the other was probably right, it would be best not to freak out the kids who were already scared. “ I-I’m sorry, ” she stammered, wiping away one of her quiet tears and sighing in attempt of composing herself. “ You’re right. If anything, we need to be brave for the younger kids, not feed the fuel of fear. It gives more strength to the hatred anyways. ”
instinctively, the witch immediately sought out to pat the girl’s back for comfort. star only shook her head as the hufflepuff tried to apologize for her actions, ❝ it’s okay. your reactions are completely valid. you’re only human, after all. ❞ the brunette offered the other her own handkerchief as an another attempt to comfort her. ❝ you’re right, though. that’s the least we can do as of now. ❞
“But that’s—” Demi began to say, feeling like his nerves ending had been scratched raw. He had hardly slept that night; not that he would have even if the dance had gone well, what with hearing about the crime his father may have committed, but now murder was the talk of the school and he had nowhere to go to escape it. “We have teachers here. It’s their job to act confident and calm to appease the younger years. I’m not a teacher, and I’m freaking out!”
❝ that’s not what i mean, demi. ❞ star told the other patiently, feeling tired herself from all the commotion from last night. ❝ you’re free to freak out for all you want but... let’s not do that in front of the kids, shall we ? ❞ she sneaked a glance over her shoulder, relaxing quite a bit when she found none of the younger years lingering within the hallway. ❝ they’re already scared. let’s not scare them even more with out outbursts, please. ❞
after her breakdowns with violet and estella, sienna found herself heading back to her dorm past curfew. she was untouchable, one of the few who didn’t have to fear walking down the halls in case something sinister lurked in the shadows. she dreaded heading back to her dorm, not having it in her to look the ravenclaw muggleborns in the eye. she couldn’t get the look the first years had sent her out of her head. they looked at her as if she had all the answers, as if she would continue her vigilante actions of stuffing them in broom closets to prevent them from being hexed. none of them even thought to look at her in fear and that just made the disgusted feeling in her stomach worse. “i was out.” she replied, exhaustion written all over her body. "can any of us really be okay after what just happened?”
at least she was more relaxed now that sienna’s here; but that did not stop her from fidgeting, still. it was definitely one of her annoying ticks whenever she starts feeling anxious about a situation. nodding at the blonde’s explanation, star felt her brows furrowing at the mention of the certain incident, ❝ fair point. i don’t think none of us will sleep soundly tonight after hearing that. ❞ a shiver ran up to her spine as she recall the grim announcement for the evening. ❝ but you look like you’re going to pass out, sienna. you should take a seat, at least. ❞
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❝ while i completely understand as to why you’re reacting this way... ❞ astraea began to say, quite unsure how to approach situations like this — most especially she probably knows or related to the people who are answerable to this tragedy. ❝ i may suggest you take a deep breath and compose yourself. the younger years are already scared enough as it is. ❞
what the bigger nightmare was, for astraea, was her roommate still not showing up within their respective dormitory. an overreaction for her part, perhaps, seeing that the likes of them would never be in harm’s way by THEM like the way those students her harmed. they’ve earned that immunity ( have they ? ), yes, but she couldn’t shake the UNEASINESS she was feeling right now. only a breath of relief escaped from her lips when sienna finally emerged from the door, stepping closer to assess her friend, ❝ merlin, i have been looking everywhere for you. ❞ she paused, having the feeling in her gut that something was wrong. ❝ ...are—are you okay, sienna ?❞
“What I’d like to know,” Estelle began, a faraway look in her eyes. “is who decided it was a good idea to spell out ‘beware’ on the trunks of the trees.” The events that unfolded the night before were unsettling to say the least, but her lack of a filter often reared it’s ugly head at the most inopportune times. “That’s a bit extra. At some point you’ve gotta step back and realise you’ve done too much…“ And overkilled the vibe, she thought, consciously keeping that part to herself. "Anyways, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this school is a NIGHTMARE.” For as tragic as Estelle found the loss of life, regardless of blood status or the politics surrounding it, she just wasn’t as shaken as her peers. To her, this merely solidified her initial judgement on the school and the majority of it’s lesser inhabitants. “You wouldn’t catch something like this happening at Beauxbaton’s, that’s all I’m saying, mon chérie.”
❝ what i don’t understand is — why are you asking me ? ❞ the witch frowned at the other, startled as the other continued to critique the incident. at least this was a refreshing take among the terrified and crying group of people she have come across after the announcement. ❝ but to objectively answer your question: they’re killers. and they’re proud of it. so why not go all out ? ❞
“it’s a bit ironic really,’ he ponders, “you know, considering the date, i mean.” it’s a statement, an observation, nothing more. delivered matter-of-factly without any trace of emotion. and yet, some things are better left unsaid. he notices his own faux pas a moment later, too late to take the words back. he blushes. “that was quite tactless, wasn’t it? i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to upset you. did you know any of them?”
❝ well, what can you expect from a group that was founded by a man who was devoid of love ? ❞ she told the other calmly, taking no offense by the boy’s words. it was a bit hypocritical of her, considering her current affiliation; but like him, she was also only stating the facts provided by the situation. ❝ i am not upset. shocked, yes, but not that upset. and no, i do not. do you ? ❞
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yoooo it’s jenn ! guess who’s back again with a new bb !
❝ oh, look it’s astraea carrow, a sixteen year old (half-blood) pureblood witch attending hogwarts. she is a sixth year ravenclaw student. their friends would say they are serene + eloquent but can also be secretive + deceptive. they are known around the castle as the faux pas. some swear they look like lee sung kyung but they would disagree. ❞
astraea is named after the goddess of justice, because her parents believe that justice will be served rightly to the purebloods like them for trying to keep the legacy alive through the next generation (aka like herself, which she faithfully believes in.)
the greatest irony of all here is: SHE’S NOT EVEN A PUREBLOOD (dun dun dunn)
as scandalous at it is, the pureblood line of the extremist Carrows has been tainted right under their noses
arranged marriages are mandatory to traditional pureblood families, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are HAPPY about it.
astraea’s mother wasn’t happy in her marriage, despite her husband’s status as a carrow. her unhappiness doubled down further as she thought she couldn’t bear a child since they’ve been trying for YEARS about this and no dice.
as this put a wide crack in their marriage, her mother began to sought out happiness in other aspects of her life through her hobbies and casual traveling. that’s where she started an affair with a muggle man. eventually, this led to the conception of darling astraea
why with a muggle man, you ask? mostly because she thought she was barren anyways and there’s no way in hell she could taint the bloodline if she can’t get any pregnant. PLUS it’s easier to cheat on your husband if he wouldn’t even BREATHE into the direction of the muggle world. (she’s obviously wrong on the first part ofc)
obviously, once she got pregnant, she just went BYE AF to the muggle man and let mister carrow believe that he was the father of this child she’s carrying.
unfortunately, as astraea grew up, her father seemed to notice that there’s just something OFF about her. like,,,,, you know,,,,,, she doesn’t even look like him.
that’s why her father has always been so hard on her while growing up. meanwhile, astraea’s does EVERYTHING just to appeal and appease her (not) father’s love for her in all aspects of her life... even if she doesn’t really want to do it.
it doesn’t really help that she was diagnosed with ADD, which certainly made school hard for her to excel with. and it just fills her with absolute shame that she, a ravenclaw student, has a learning deficiency. she was supposed to be all smart and witty and acing all the classes! but she couldn’t live up to the status quo because of that and it just sucks for her.
only her mother and a selected few knows about this because merlin forbid if her father finds out that his daughter has a weakness
it’s hard!!! because her father already sees her as weak because of her gentle and serene nature — which is a HUGE contrast to the trademark carrow cruelness (tm)
BUT!!!!! don’t get fooled!!! she would use that trademark demeanour + her intelligence of hers to bring someone down on their knees as she blindside the shit out of them. but she only uses it when she’s very angry or in a desperate clutch. she prefers being the background strategist rather than a fighter among her peers tbh.
she’s pro-death eater due to the fact that believes that this could be the way she could prove herself to her dad that she is worthy of his attention and love ok
astraea mostly shies away from muggleborns in general because she (feels like she) have to and she got the reputation as a carrow to uphold. like she’s not the one to trash talk them but she just avoids them in general.
rumour has it she sometimes tutors lower level muggleborns of her house, but whenever asked she would always deny it
and that’s it??? i’m still working on her connections page but pls hmu if u want to plot love lots!!!!
