imagine if you will: you’re 12 years old. you’re just about to hit puberty. you only moved to this town 2 years ago so you don’t have a lot of friends. your dad is dead so your mom is raising you on her own. your mom loves you but also kind of hates you because she’s a stressed out single mom and you have all the attitude of an almost teenage girl.
one day your mom takes in a lodger. he’s handsome and looks just like your celebrity crush. he also lavishes you with all the positive attention your mom doesn’t give you, and he touches you in a way that your almost-teenage body likes.
mom carts you off to summer camp. you hear that the lodger is marrying your mom but you’re far more interested in this boy who’s touching you and you’re touching him and it’s new and dangerous and exciting.
the lodger who is now your stepdad shows up at camp one day. you need to leave, because mom is ill. you had to leave that boy behind but you still have new teenage hormones rushing through your veins, and your stepdad is still handsome and he’s still touching you, so you touch him back like you did with that bot.
turns out your mom is dead. stepdad takes you travelling across the country. you’re grieving for your mom and your stepdad wants you to touch him again and again and again so you do.
finally you settle down somewhere, but stepdad doesn’t allow you to have friends or date boys or do much of anything. you meet another man who lavishes you with attention and promises the freedom your stepdad denies you. you think you love him so you run away with him.
it turns out this man doesn’t love you, he wants to use you to make pornography. you refuse, and he kicks you out.
you’re lost, you’re homeless, feeling used by the two men in your life. you find a way to survive, and you meet a man closer to your age who’s good and decent and everything the other men weren’t. you marry him because you should and you get pregnant but he’s just a handyman and you’re just a waitress and you don’t have much money. you call up the only family you have, your stepdad. he wants you to run away with him but you don’t love him and you never did. he gives you the money you need then kills the man you fell in love with when you were 14 years old. you give birth but the baby is dead, then so are you.
and in another universe, a man writes a book about your stepdad and your name becomes synonymous with a flirtatious, promiscuous young girl who seduces men but it’s not your name, it’s a name your stepdad gave you, and your real name is forgotten behind the image of the girl that’s not you with a name that’s not yours