Toby

as you know, parole is a privilege

yeah, that’s obviously not something i’m proud of

i don’t want that life, i never wanted that life

my brother, may he rest in peace, was a criminal

i fell for the wrong person. it was a mistake, but uh, it happened

i would just want the simple life

i just want to hold down a job, make some friends, go for a walk after work in the fresh air and, you know, pay my bills

i have forty-five bucks _____ , i can go anywhere i want

they are sealed, they are brand new

it’s a rerun ____, she slept with her cousin, crashed the car, baby’s not his

because when you’re drunk, it tastes like vodka

you better be in there

i was just paying my respects

what’re you doing here ?

they though i’d be the best one to talk to you

sometimes, just knowing the job will work is satisfaction enough, you don’t actually have to do it

i’m not gonna end up back in prison

you’re lookin’ sharp

hey, hey, take it easy, i’ve been in the slammer

that would be my i’ve just been in jail for five years and my partner let me down face

hey i’m not your partner

can i exchange something you stole ?

if you’re gonna have a problem with stealing then you’re not gonna like the rest of this conversation

this is what you do, you make me guess and then i’m interested and then because you think i’m interested you think i’m gonna do it

there’s a room for you upstairs, you’re stuff’s upstairs too

i borrowed some shit, i figured you weren’t using it

oh my god, i was meaning to call you

do you know what a shiv is ?

oh, such a nice face

you know, inside, you’re what we call a pretty girl

why would you do something like that ?

so did you — ? *mimes stabbing*

so, then i thought ten banks, but i realised that was probably coming from an angry place

i got myself thrown in solitary for a little peace and quiet

so, it’s not like robbing a liquor store.

sorry, i don’t speak ukranian

even more starters·random starters from various sources (once again, from spotify playlists, random commentary, tv shows, books, movies, and my brain).

❝A little warning would have been nice!❞

❝You almost shot me! Again!❞

❝Hide your wives, hide your daughters, hell, hide your sheep!❞

❝I saw how you danced for them. There is no more need for that innocent act.❞

❝You’ll have to rip my bento box from my cold, dead hands.❞

❝Book? What book?❞

❝It’s all lies! Slander I say!❞

❝So after we were finished, he reached for his phone and began to play Candy Crush.❞

❝You owe me. I mean really owe me.❞

❝Stop it, you’re being even more rude than usual.❞

❝The cold and I don’t mix.❞

❝You look like you were fucked thoroughly last night. Was it worth it?❞

❝I had sex behind the court house.❞

❝Public sex is the best kind of sex next to make up, angry sex.❞

❝They hold you to a different standard because you are not some peasant roaming the streets. You are royalty.❞

❝If you are going to dance, at least pretend you can dance well.❞

❝You have far too much darkness within your heart. You will not be able to enter this place.❞

❝If, for example, you are alive at the bottom of the sea, I shall cut off my two legs and become a fish.❞

❝I want to fall asleep while embraced.❞

❝I once believed long ago that I could wish upon a star and my dreams will come true. Now I know such things are false.❞

❝I will savor the day I can watch you fall.❞

❝I will hunt you down & I will not show mercy.❞

❝There is little we can do. The rot has begun to set in.❞

❝You can keep your little princess in her proper little place. But if she follows all your orders, does exactly what she’s told? She will never ever grow up, she will only grow old.❞

❝Good deed? You so called good deed sentenced him to death.❞

❝That child will do whatever it takes to survive ; I suggest you do the same.❞

❝I am the Queen/King & I demand respect.❞

❝You will find me at the corner of 5th avenue & 57th street.❞

❝Girls don’t want smelly boys. They want chocolate, pretty shoes, and a good fuck every week.❞

❝I want you to break me with your own hands.❞

❝Have you stepped into your own trap, my lord? Any evidence you have against me, you yourself bought and paid for. Do you now begin to believe it?❞

❝Why must you leave a king to follow you? Why not a QUEEN?❞

❝It is true. I was unfaithful to you with all of them. With half your court. With soldiers of your guard, with grooms, with stablehands. Look for the rest of your life at every man that ever knew me and wonder if I didn’t find him a better man than you!❞

❝ I have a little neck.❞

❝You make love as you eat, with a great deal of noise and no subtlety!❞

❝Will you not kiss your daughter?❞

❝She has the face of a simpering sheep. And the manners. But not the morals. I don’t want her near me.❞

❝How DARE you and the rest of your barbarians set fire to my library?❞

❝You have such bony knees.❞

❝Queens. Queens. Strip them naked as any other woman, they are no longer queens.❞

❝I will not be told where I can go and where I cannot go!❞

❝The King has asked for me?❞

❝Even in carnal matters?❞

❝I shall not go the way of my sister!❞

❝Power is as exciting as love, I discover.❞

❝And who has more power than our dearest king/queen?❞

❝Touch her, and I’ll have her sent from court.❞

❝Mind your tongue, or I’ll have you sent from court.❞

❝I ORDER you.❞

❝…I think I’m a good person. I think there’s good in everyone.❞

❝I see these kids I’ve known all my life and wonder: What happened?❞

❝Remember those days when we were singing and clapping, happy and napping, baking cookies, eating paste?❞

❝College will be paradise.❞

❝Grow up. Bulimia’s so ‘87.❞

❝…Before you answer: I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes.❞

❝For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure.❞

❝You LIAR.❞

❝They will say my child is the bastard, regardless of what you do.❞

❝I care not who has the title “bastard” when I am dead.❞

❝You are the QUEEN. A girl this time, a boy the next.❞

❝Chaos is great! chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling!❞

❝Don’t read it. She’s having extra-heavy flow and wanted some advice from my gyno.❞

❝What’s your damage?❞

❝Sorry but I really had to wake you. See I decided that I must ride you ‘til I break you.❞

❝I think we broke my mattress.❞

❝No sleep tonight for you, better chug that Mountain Dew.❞

❝I’m like oxygen. I’m everywhere.❞

❝Thus ending her hangover. I say we go with Big Blue.❞

❝Shoulda thought of that before you killed me. I’m gonna be coughing up drain cleaner for eternity.”❞

❝Why are you not dead? Why do you live? How do you live? Why do you not lie at the deepest hole of the sea, bloodless, and bloated, and at peace with honorable death?❞

❝There are never enough hours in the days of a queen, and her nights have too many.❞

❝I was hoping you’d rip my clothes off me, sport.❞

❝I bet there’s all kinds of interesting things in that locker. Maybe some “ich luge” bullets…?”❞

❝I hope she’ll be a fool – that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.❞

❝And I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.❞

❝You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.❞

❝Surprise, surprise.❞

❝I’m older, but hardly more wise.❞

❝Is she beautiful?❞

❝I have borne you a daughter, Your Majesty.❞

❝Your Queen, I cannot be. Your mistress, I will not be.❞

❝For men love what they cannot have, and hate what they cannot control.❞

❝If I must die, then I will die boldly, as I have lived.❞

❝But stars come out at night.❞

❝I am a fool to own it, but I am in a fever for his/her touch.❞

❝Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.❞

❝Is that how it is? You fuck me and go behind my back and pledge your love to another?❞

❝Cut the shrill voice alright? I can hardly hear myself think.❞

❝If you wake me up, I will throw sharp objects at you.❞

❝Okay, I get your angry, but you should know better than to antagonize them.❞

❝They’re as far away as I could send them.❞

❝Are we ruled by superstition?❞

❝I do not fear the people.❞

❝BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE?❞

❝On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?❞

❝It is okay to cry. Crying is a natural response to pain.❞

❝What good is that act, unless every person in this kingdom first swears an oath to you? To both of us?❞

❝Welcome to the nerd lab.❞

❝The more important they think they are, the quicker they finish.❞

❝Stay silent, & perhaps they will spare you.❞

❝Wanna fight for me?❞

❝Hey, are you still alive?❞

❝You speak as though you have seen this yourself.❞

❝You’re late. You missed quite a show.❞

❝Such tragic lovers.❞

❝I honestly don’t find that to be romantic. It’s pathetic.❞

❝Love? You think love will save you?❞

❝Only fools believe that soulmates exist.❞

❝I don’t know why the hell you want to sit courtside, unless you’re THAT desperate for balls in your face.❞

❝Gather the sheets and burn them. They cannot find evidence of this.❞

❝The blood is in your hands, not mine.❞

❝You speak as though you are innocent in this.❞

❝You took their heart and destroyed it.❞

❝Do you like killing? Do you like to watch the fear in their eyes as you bring your blade even closer to them?❞

❝I do not fear death.❞

❝Am I in hell?❞

❝If you think for a moment, then you’ll find it.❞

❝I will not be meek or obedient.❞

❝You do not own me. I am not your property or anyone else’s for that matter.❞

❝And you think sleeping with someone who is married is going to add excitement to your life?❞

❝There are worst faiths.❞

❝I would rather die than be locked in a cage.❞

❝You can take that pen and shove it up your ass.❞

❝Let me see your face.❞

❝My computer is acting weirder than usual. Did you give it an energy drink or something?❞

❝TV makes shit look so easy.❞

❝I could try, but no promises.❞

❝I just want to go home and shower.❞

❝That cat looks like he wants to murder us in our sleep.❞

❝I think there are better things to do in this city other than gawk at the buildings.❞

❝Put. those. cookies. down.❞

❝Oh shit, I made a booboo.❞

❝Banana monkeys apple balls!❞

❝What sort of insult is that? My cat can do a better job.❞

❝I have my eye on you. And I mean one eye. The other one is keeping an eye on the other guy.❞

❝You’re quite defiant, aren’t you.❞

❝Hold your tongue, or I will cut it out myself.❞

❝Bring them BACK.❞

❝I shall go to my grave loving you. HATING YOU.❞

❝Those who refuse will die.❞

❝How do you forget?❞

❝This was supposed to be a surprise damn it.❞

❝High or low, they will sign or they will die.❞

❝I believe in choices, both good and bad.❞

❝I didn’t fall off the horse. I held on for dear life as the horse dragged me along for a period of many years.❞

❝Funny how things work out. You love me now, when I do not love you.❞

❝I hate you. I hate your desire & MINE.❞

❝Call it what you wish, but you and I both know it’s the truth.❞

❝Don’t speak to me as if you know what I am suffering through. You know nothing.❞

❝Shut your eyes then.❞

❝That child saved your life.❞

❝Hey if you ever need some RELIEF, you know where to go.❞

❝I am no whore, despite what you like to think.❞

❝Beauty fades.❞

❝Mac or PC, I don’t care.❞

❝Find a legal way then.❞

❝Their blood is on your hands. Not mine.❞

❝Can’t make a habit of this you know.❞

❝Can I stay with you? I can’t be alone to my thoughts. The darkness will claim me again.❞

❝You swore you would protect me!❞

❝You are a toad.❞

❝What did you do, roll around in pig shit?❞

❝Get out you snake.❞

❝If they hurt me, then I will close my eyes.❞

❝There is nothing you can say that hasn’t already been said.❞

❝Music is important. There are so many advantages.❞

❝I couldn’t sleep. Can I stay here?❞

❝You are my soul mate!❞

❝I once tried to read that. I couldn’t get through the book.❞

❝BURN ME THEN. Do you think I care now that you have taken everything from me?❞

❝To love? Or to spy?❞

❝Which witch is which?❞

❝I signed up for a fun adventure in a creepy mansion. I didn’t sign up for demons trying to murder me.❞

❝Who’s your daddy now?❞

❝I’ll be good, I promise.❞

❝Do you hate me so much you would do this?❞

❝I loved you! I gave you my heart & you stepped on it.❞

❝My love for you surpasses everything.❞

❝I am a fool, yes. But this fool loves you. Do you hear me? I love you.❞

❝Take it from me as best you can, but there will come a time that you can no longer deny it.❞

❝Will you give yourself to me?❞

❝Once, I think I could have loved you. But now, I think I can only despise you.❞

❝My heart cannot take this secrecy anymore. Why must I hide my feelings for you?❞

❝You can try.❞

❝I think that there are better ways to spend my time than to listen to their insults.❞

❝Pathetic.❞

❝Children? Oh no, I– I don’t think I can even have children.❞

❝Impossible things can be possible if you have enough hope.❞

❝Did they touch you?❞

❝I don’t think I can move.❞

❝The best time of year is when I can cuddle with you in front of the fire.❞

❝My heart belongs to one being and it is you.❞

❝I need help. I cannot face this alone.❞

❝You ask far too much. Please, don’t make me do this.❞

❝Are you pregnant?❞

❝I’m pregnant.❞

❝I’m sorry, but your child is dead.❞

❝Who is the father?❞

❝How can you love a person like him/her?❞

❝Monster!❞

❝You are not a monster. Stop thinking that you are!❞

❝There is nothing you could have done. Their life was forfeit the moment they left this place.❞

❝Y-You? What are you doing here?❞

❝The last dance you will ever have is with me.❞

❝We are two ships in the night.❞

❝The shadows grow darker.❞

❝It will not be long before the darkness consumes your heart.❞

❝You belong to me now.❞

❝You WITCH.❞

❝You sold your soul to the devil & for what?❞

❝Revenge will be mine.❞

❝The dogs will eat their fill of you and shit your remains onto the crags.❞

❝Our Grand Rite now is done. Blood dimmed dawn now shall come. Powers of the moon and sun ignite. All flesh trembles at the sight. Thirteen souls fed to hungry earth opens the way for our dark lord’s birth.❞

❝Oh this ain’t right. This ain’t right. Any fool can feel that, even this fool.❞

❝ I shall miss the dazzling wit of your conversation.❞

❝This is my vow. I will meet you here, before the moon goes above those trees. I swear it.❞

❝You know, my father said this was the land of second chances. This can be ours. All we have to do is walk away.❞

❝Living in here and not believing in witches is like living in London and not believing in fog. It is to deny what is right in front of you.❞

❝Love is a two-faced coin and one is certainly betrayal.❞

❝Love is not a lost cause. I will not betray the one true love of my life.❞

❝If. Such a small word with such immense consequence. For all of us.❞

❝The wine is from God. The drunkard is from the devil.❞

❝I recognize the symptoms of your illness, and it’s not called marsh fever. You’re with child.❞

❝He’s insane.❞

❝This is a good day for him.❞

❝If you knew my father, you’d commend me for waiting this long.❞

❝How long may we enjoy your curative presence in town?❞

❝There was a reason for my marriage. Remind me of it.❞

❝Is it murder to defend your mother’s honor?❞

❝And if these times have made you clever, the coming months may thrust genius upon you.❞

❝You care so much for someone you hardly know.❞

❝That was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen, like a man sticking his head inside a lion’s jaw. I would gladly reward you for your bravery.❞

❝All things are permissible in our dreams.❞

❝I believe trust needs to be earned.❞

❝The others bought and sold. We merely proved ourselves better at the game, but we draw the line at murder. Do we not?❞

❝I do tend to win whatever battles I fight.❞

❝You’re not the only one who knows what it feels like to hold desires that come true only in dreams. But every morning we have a choice – forget our dreams or live them.❞

❝True malice like that which powers the Grand Rite ferments best in a loveless heart. I have looked into your heart and it is anything but loveless.❞

❝And so the queen came to rule the king and all of his kingdom and thus became the Queen of the Night. And so she lived happily ever after.❞

❝For it was not by a kiss she might make a frog into a prince, but by a kiss that she make a king into a toad.❞

❝That night she felt one monster on top of her and another inside and she glimpsed what her soul was becoming and learned her first lesson as queen: be careful what you wish for.❞

❝You know the worst part about becoming a queen? You often have to marry a king.❞

❝Not all queens start as princesses.❞

❝Your eyes. So filled with want. The hard part is not getting what you want, child. The hard part is knowing what you want.❞

❝We had a deal.❞

❝I want to be just like you.❞

❝Sometimes in life we make choices. These choices in life they lead us to do things, terrible things and we don’t wish to, we’d do anything not to. Choice informs choice. They don’t resemble anything you’d have wanted or wish for. Tell me if it was like that. If it was a difficult choice. Please. Please. So that I may still believe in goodness.❞

❝I murdered 20 men and I make no excuses for myself. Will you have me arrested?❞

❝The dead don’t lie.❞

❝I am the only one that knows.❞

❝The next lie to cross your lips will be your last.❞

❝You would threaten me, your one true ally?❞

❝So you would buy me outright?❞

❝I want it to stop. The torture, the torment, the suffering… or I will tell them. I will tell them all who and what you are.❞

❝We know that what we desire and what we must do to survive are often at odds.❞

❝My husband’s affliction has robbed him of both reason and sense.❞

❝We’ve lost control. She’s no longer ours.❞

❝Why? Because this is the fulfillment of all our dreams. Vengeance for centuries of oppression.❞

❝I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a mixture of reason and bullshit in a man.❞

❝There was a time when I might have suckled more than a toad.❞

❝All the world shall be yours in return; all the world.❞

❝You asked who would do such a thing. The answer is many people.❞

❝The witch hunt has begun and we will be runninng the trials.❞

❝He/She has all the sweetness of an apple on a tree.❞

❝This dog will come back and bite.❞

❝Save your thoughts. Say nothing.❞

❝You must cry for me, for I have no more tears.❞

❝Where is the murderer?❞

❝Be careful, be very careful, or you might find yourself wearing peasant shoes.❞

❝You see I’ve lost everything in this town that I ever cared for. You however, you have everything left to lose. A sentiment that makes you vulnerable.❞

❝Do not stare at him in public. It weakens you.❞

❝The only thing keeping me alive is the look on your face.❞

❝All things return, like every salty tear returns to the sea.❞

i’m always a slut for a christmas au 

“i know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside”

“i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years”

SNOWBALL FIGHTS

“hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cooking burning - whoaaa now that’s just embarrassing? step aside i’ll handle this”

person a seducing person b into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall (”oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there????”)

“you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”

“YES I BOOBY TRAPPED THE PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU DO THIS EVERY FUCKING YEAR”

“i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”

I KNITTED YOU A JUMPER

MY MOM KNITTED YOU A JUMPER

“we’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth”

“i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket”

“’it’s a wonderful life’ aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* “YOU MONSTER”

“we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we’re just…staring… at each other…”

“YOU DON’T LIKE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE? WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE”

TREE DECORATING (bonus points if one of them is doing it completely wrong omg why am i in love with you) 

“we took our kids to santa’s workshop and they both wished we would get together” FRIENDS AU - “our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt i never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl” 

“we’re co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff christmas party and admitted your love for me i don’t know how to act around you now” 

DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”) 

TEACH ME HOW TO SKI (lol jk i know how you’re just so fucking cute)

“there’s a storm and omg i’m losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas” 

PULLING YOU IN FOR A KISS WITH A SCARF 

FOR GOOD;

“I’m limited, just look at me - I’m limited.” “Look at you, you can do all I couldn’t do, [name].” “So now it’s up to you.” “For both of us - now it’s up to you.” “That people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn.” “We are led to those who help us most to grow.” “If we let them, and we help them in return.” “Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true.” “I know I’m who I am today, because I knew you…” “Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun.” “Like a stream that meets a boulder, halfway through the wood.” “Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?” “But because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” “It well may be that we will never meet again.” “You’ll be with me, like a handprint on my heart.” “Now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine.” “And just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness. For the things I’ve done you blame me for.” “But then, I guess we know, there’s blame to share.” “None of it seems to matter anymore.”