Fashournalist

It's been a beautiful May

Thankful for this month's days

And claiming it'll be a better June by faith

Thank you Lord for the moments you orchestrated

Both the planned ones and unexpected

I appreciate the beauty each day brings

With You in us, there are always blessings

I surrender June and the rest of 2026 to You

You are Mighty in power, Your love endures

Excited to see all that You'll do

Let Your will be what I will always pursue 💞

If I had to give today a title, this would be it. *insert thousands of words in my journal*

I first prayed the Prayer of Salvation when I was in Grade 2. It was either in 2002 or 2003 when Tita Eva led me in prayer at our old house in Dasmariñas, Cavite. Back then, I had not fully understood it yet, but on February 18, 2006, I attended a Transformation Revival at COG Dasma. That was when I fully surrendered my heart and life to Jesus, hands raised and tears falling rapidly. I considered that my spiritual birthday moving forward.

Yesterday, 20 years and 2 months later, we prayed the Prayer of Salvation again at Elim Communities' Pathways Life in the Spirit Seminar, and I re-surrendered my life and heart to Christ. It was tough because there are parts of my heart that I feel scared to surrender, but I asked for the grace to surrender them. What they say is true: it's easy to accept Jesus as our Savior, but the willingness to obey Him as our Lord is a different story. And that's what I cried to God yesterday. Lord, help me to obey You as my Lord. Search my heart and cleanse my soul. Let all my thoughts be pure and pleasing to Your eyes. I surrender every struggle, and help put my complete trust in You.

Some of my biggest takeaways from yesterday's retreat:

- God's love is like an ocean, it has no end.

- Even if we have let God down, He will never let us down.

- The Holy Spirit is like a socket. We can plug anything into it and we will receive power in whatever aspect of our lives.

Two of my biggest prayers were

-being able to surrender my Dad's life to the Lord, that I should not be anxiously forcing God to let him live up to 105 years old. I can still pray for that, in faith. But I should surrender to God's will and be ready to accept whatever His will is. (so scared to pray this!!)

-being able to wait for the right man God wants for me, in His perfect time, and keep my purity until marriage. I'm single since birth, but temptations are everywhere, and even the mind is a battlefield. But I pray for purity in every sense of the word—including thoughts and emotions.

I also realized, whatever religion we're in, what truly matters is having a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. In 2006, I was at a protestant church. Yesterday, it was a Catholic community. Guess what, same Jesus. I am so happy that there are also communities in the Catholic Church that are like the churches I grew up in as a child. I was born Catholic, then converted to Born Again for 15 years, then went back to Catholicism during the pandemic—but maybe that story is for a different post.

Overall, I am truly happy with where I am now, and my heart's longing is to grow deeper in my relationship with God—deeper than ever before. Since His love is like an ocean, we will never run out of new revelations as to who God is. We can never fully know the vastness of God and His Love, and that's what makes it more beautiful. Lord Jesus, I pray You show me more of Your Love and teach me to love the way you love us. In Jesus' Name, Amen 🙏

Happy Easter, everyone! Christ has risen 💞

2.14.26 - Back to being kids again for a day ahahahha!! Thanks so much Sunbaenim (Kuya Peabo) for this past weekend. Had so much fun!

We're supposed to be with our friend, Ate Marc, but she got sick huhue so dibale balik na lang tayo guys pag ok na si Ate.

Ang saya saya maging bata ulit!! Super answered prayer na may playground for kids for all ages as in noon ko pa dream yarn.

Minsan nga gusto ko mag baby sit sa mga tulad ng Kidzania para kunwari nagbabantay ako ng mga paslit, pero yung totoo naglalaro din ako AHAHA.

Buti na lan nagsend si Kuya Peabo ng reel about Fantasy World samin ni Ate Marc mga a few weeks ago, tas sakto alam din ni Ate kung nasan to (SM East Ortigas), so we made it happen ahahaha. Naku Atee dapat talaga kasama ka na next time (para di lang ako yung babatuhin ng bola ni Kuya sa ballpit xD)

After Fantasy World, Kuya and I went to Fully Booked. He bought a book written by one of the thought leaders we both admire, Sir Eugene S. Acevedo. We often discuss his insights whenever we're brainstorming ideas. Kuya Peabo is not just my friend, he's also my mentor hehe (hence I sometimes call him Sunbaenim, or the Korean term for senior or mentor).

I’ve received feedback from some of my friends that I’m a people pleaser. Well, I once was. I struggled with saying no, I kept putting other people’s needs before my own. Whenever I'd get disliked, it would bother me.

But for a few years now, I believe I’ve already overcome that. I no longer need to please everyone and get validation from every person I encounter. I can be unapologetically me and just welcome those who fully accept who I am. Today, I only value the opinions of the people who matter to me. If I’m not liked by other people, and they’re not my friends nor close family, I honestly don’t mind. I've heard some who don't like me or make fun of me behind my back, but it does not affect me anymore. What matters is I'm still surrounded by love from the people I cherish.

But here’s one comment that stuck with me as to why he thought I was a people pleaser. My friend said I keep on saying “flowery words” when I don’t have to. He thought whenever I said things like “thank you for everything, thank you because this or that, I appreciate you a lot, I trust you, I’m sorry” he thought whenever I say those, it’s because I wanted to please people.

And that’s where i stood my ground. I explained that whenever I say such words, they’re not meant as embellishments. I say them because I mean them, because they’re from my heart. I don't say them to please people or get validation, I say them because it’s how I truly feel. I am always sincere, appreciative, expressive, genuine and I have a soft heart, and I refuse to see this as a weakness.

I thought to myself, I can't help this. If those words are flowery, then my mouth is a garden. A garden full of flowers that blossom straight from my heart. And the more I love you, the longer my messages and letters will be for you. I can write you letters every day and I will not ever run out of words to say. Why? Because I love you.

But this led me to my next thought.

Words are like hugs, not everyone is ready to receive them. Remember how we’re told that we should hug with consent because not everyone is comfortable to receive physical touch? This same friend made me realize: words are the same. I can't give them to everyone I love, because as they say and as research has proven time and time again: we all have different love languages.

Now imagine this with me. We all have containers for each of these love languages. So there are quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, and acts of service. We have a container to give and receive for each of them. And as for me, I have a very huge container to receive these love languages, and also huge containers to give words, quality time, and gifts, too. But what I want to focus on here is the container for words. Just because I have a huge container to give words, doesn’t mean I’ll shower words to all my friends. Some have a smaller container when receiving words of affirmation, and that’s okay.

Even if I love them so much, I will do my best to exercise restraint when expressing my love for them, because just as water spills when too much is poured to a small tub, the love we express will also spill when we pour too much to a small container. Instead of pouring too much on them, let’s match the love languages of our friends. Are you also a garden of appreciative words? Pour those to your friends who also have huge containers of words of affirmation.

To some, expressing love often diminishes its value. To some, less is more. I was told that if I often express appreciation, it loses its meaning. I should rarely say them, my friend said. I understand he has a point, but that’s not the case for me and some of my other friends. Just a few examples, Kuya Jimson has been my friend since 2015 because of HPAIR Manila and Harvard conferences. And throughout these 10 years, we often said I love you and I miss you to each other, and to us, the frequency never lessened the value of those words.

My Apa, or my Dad, we say I love you around 10 to 20 times a day, and not once did it ever lose its value.

Ate Maan and I became friends since 2023 through Bumble Friends app, and our friendship has always felt organic because our communication style fit each other so well. We sent each other 10-20 paragraphs every two weeks or so, and she said it was like having a pen pal, very old-school. Gradually, our friendship grew and it’s turning three years this July. She’s one of my most expressive friends, always telling me she loves me as her little sister. Did it ever diminish the value of I love you just because she often says it? Never. It actually emphasizes the feeling, and magnifies how we mean to each other.

The bottom line is, again, it depends on the person. Not everyone will appreciate the words pouring from our hearts, but that is perfectly fine. And just to emphasize this clarification: if some of our friends have a smaller container than our containers, that does not make us any better than them, and it does not make them any less of a friend. It only means we are different, and we love differently.

So what do we do? We adjust how we love our loved ones, in an effort to love them better. Which leads me to my last thought for this video.

As for my friend who does not appreciate my expressive words and long messages, it’s okay. I will do my best to meet you where you are, control myself from saying how I really feel even if I love you very, very much, not because I want to please you, but because I want to learn how to love you better.

And I figured, I will do this to all my friends. I will analyze you guys, see what makes you happy, and where you feel more loved. By the way, wanting to make people happy is different from pleasing people. Pleasing people is seeking validation and is coming from a place of lack, while making people happy is coming from a place of love. We are already full of love, to the point that it overflows, to the point that we just want to share that happiness with the people who matter to us.

So that’s my simple resolution this year: Love better. I want to learn to love my family and friends better, love myself better, and of course, love God better (as they say, we love because He first loved us) When we love the way God loves us, that's when we start loving others, and ourselves, better.

💞

If you've read til the end, what takeaway resonated most with you? 🤗 Or can you relate to any of this? Were you also described as a people pleaser? Which of your containers is the biggest one or the smallest one? Are you part of the 'less is more' team or do you prefer frequent and vocal expressions of care? What are your love languages? Are you also a "garden of words"? (yeah it sounds like the film ahaha). Or maybe there are more reflections you'd like to add. :)

Wherever our hearts are right now, I truly hope we all face the new year and all the years ahead from a place of love 💌

Merry Christmas and a blessed 2026 to us all!!! ✨🎄🌻