The Fart Journal

Who knows what evil lurks in the farts of men?

no part of the human body should be capable of producing the kind of smells my butt is churning out this very moment

I don't know whether it was because of the sound or the smell of the fart, but the neighbors 2 houses down called to ask me if I was okay.

Had to lock the bathroom door to keep the farts in, but now I'm stuck in here because the door handle melted.

Judging from the sounds it just made, my butt was a whale in a past life.

Just released 10 decibels of pure butt thunder.

I ripped a huge fart that smelled like white cheddar cheese while we opened our Christmas presents. I'd like to call this "the White Elephant Gift."

Twas the fart before christmas and all through the house, every creature could smell it, and it stank of dead mouse

Just passed a poot of such purely putrid pungency that a pile of sulfur appeared in my pants.