“What do the noble scholars say regarding a man who looked at a woman with a glance, then love for her became attached to his heart, and the matter became intense for him, so his soul said to him:
‘All of this came from the first glance, so if you were to look at her again, perhaps you would see her as less than what your mind has imagined, and thus lose your attachment to her.’
Is it permissible for him to deliberately look a second time for this purpose?”
Imam Ibn al-Qayyim answered:
“The answer was: Praise belongs to Allah. This is not permissible for ten reasons:
Allah, Glorified and Exalted, commanded lowering the gaze, and He did not place the cure of the heart in what He made unlawful for the servant.
The Prophet peace and blessings be upon him was asked about an accidental glance, and it was known that it affects the heart, so he instructed treating it by turning away the gaze, not by repeating the look.
He explicitly stated that the first glance is for him, but the second is not for him. It is impossible that his illness comes from something permitted to him, while its cure lies in what is not permitted to him.
What appears evident is that a second glance strengthens the matter rather than weakening it. Experience bears witness to this. What appears likely is that the matter will remain as he saw it the first time, so it is not wise to take the risk of looking again.
Perhaps he may see something greater than what existed in his mind, thereby increasing his suffering.
When he intends the second glance, Satan rises to beautify for him what is not beautiful, so that the trial may be completed.
He will not be aided against his affliction if he turns away from obeying the commands of the Sacred Law and seeks treatment through what Allah prohibited for him. Rather, he deserves to be deprived of assistance.
The first glance is a poisoned arrow from the arrows of Satan, and it is known that the second is even more poisonous. So how can one seek treatment from poison by using poison?
The person in this state claims he is dealing sincerely with Allah, Mighty and Exalted, by leaving something beloved for Allah’s sake. Yet he wants the second glance only to determine the condition of the person being looked at. If that person does not satisfy him, then he leaves them. Thus, his leaving it is because it does not suit his desire, not for Allah. So where is dealing sincerely with Allah, Glorified and Exalted, by abandoning what one loves for His sake?
This becomes clear through an example that perfectly matches the situation.
If you ride a new horse and it turns toward a narrow path that does not lead through and from which it cannot turn back to exit, then when it intends to enter, pull it back so that it does not enter.
If it enters one or two steps, then call out to it and quickly bring it back before it becomes firmly established inside.
If you pull it back early, the matter becomes easy.
But if you delay until it has gone deep inside, and you continue driving it inward, then afterward try pulling it back by its tail, it will become difficult for you, or impossible, to bring it out.
Would any intelligent person say that the way to rescue it is to drive it further inward?
Likewise, when a glance affects the heart, if the wise and decisive person acts quickly and cuts off the matter from its beginning, its treatment becomes easy.
But if he repeats the glance, examines the beauty of the appearance, and transfers that image into an empty heart and engraves it there, then love becomes firmly established.
Every time the glances continue, they become like water nourishing a tree.
The tree of love continues growing until it corrupts the heart and turns it away from thinking about what it was commanded to think about.
Then it leads its owner into hardships, causes him to commit prohibited matters and trials, and throws the heart into destruction.
The reason for this is that the eye found pleasure in the first glance, so it desired to repeat it.
It is like eating delicious food, when one takes a bite from it, he desires more.
Had he lowered his gaze from the beginning, his heart would have found rest and remained safe.”
Rawdat al-Muhibbin: pp. 147–150