Pinky Promise⁷

📝

!! recovered lol !!

uhhh yea dont report me bc I don’t even like post the spicy shit anymore 🫡

update 31/10/22: https://at.tumblr.com/fanta-soup7/life-update-rant-close-to-the-2-year-mark-my-fake/86uzjmpphwlx

THIS (was) A VENT BLOG!!

follows all the fucking accs, probably triggering yk- includes: sh (no pics but i might interact), other ed blogs (includes all the spos), and lifting blogs lol (sry if i followed u and ur uncomfy, block me !! :D)

Twitter:@ PinkyPromise_7

Backup Tumblr: @fanta-soup2

Info:

H: 5’3 Sw: 47-48 Lw: 44.6 Hw: 48.+ Cw: 47

Goals:

G1: 46.7 G2: 46.4 G3: 46.1 G4: 45.8 Ugw: 40🔒 (bmi 15-16)

had a poke around my old posts and i feel so bad for her bc she genuinely didnt think there was going to be much more to life besides... whatever the fuck i was venting about in this blog

i was having all those awful feelings as a nutrient deprived child who had no real aspirations in life and its SAD because who the fuck am i to waste my life like that when i've already made it this far?

also want to validate the shit i went through because i did go through something. could be stupid teen hormones, could be a gross over exaggeration, everyone gets insecure after all. but after secretly getting some professional help here and there, when i find myself dismissing everything ive ever felt as nonsense or if i find myself slipping back into old habits i just remember things wise people that care about me have said.

ive been doing well. mentally? its been tough but compared to wanting to end it i'll be fine. i've been clean from restricting for a while (insert anaemia and dizzy spells) and while ive had sh relapses here and there my clean streaks have consistently gotten longer and longer. I want to make it to 9 months so i can celebrate like the length of 3 trimesters lol. i'm an adult now... it's kinda scary thinking about how seemingly recent this all was considering 2020 was 5 years ago. but it feels like it was 10 years ago with all thats happened in between.

i want to become a doctor someday and i'm currently studying to hopefully get there after a LOT of hard work.

ive made new friends, lost old ones, reconnected with them too. ive discovered horrible people that have horribly harmed others without me even knowing, but ive also loved and been loved so much. i have a better understanding and relationship with my parents and just...

time changes things. nothing is permanent.

like reading nasty smut replaced my other coping mechanisms or smt 💀💀

but FR tho, this rly isn’t an active E d sheer vent acc anymore unless u scroll for a while heh

so basically im a huge failure and recovered lol-

anyway.... yea its been 2 yrs im pretty much over my shit and im focusing on school or ill be fucked bc im going into senior school. im in a much better place than i was and maturing just half a braincell (and having severe anemia with heart palpitations lmfao) made me force myself to give it up lollll. i can hear the protests and the: omg ur letting urself gain- ur letting urself turn into ur worst nightmare and I KNOW AH- which is why i literally haent weighed in fucking forever and last time i checked i was binging my feelings away, eating intuitively and at my hw lmao. objectively speaking i dont look much different but idek whats what anymore so im just going to take this and roll w it. as long as i dont go over my "base weight" and break the 50s ill stay recovered. im in the middle of fucking puberty and im cutting myself some slack.

i had a moderately bad run w sh and i was going pretty unchecked for a while but im currently 17 days clean! im overdue for a relapse bc i always break around the 15-20 day mark but yk, its ok bc this time im getting closer and closer to actually wanting to stay recovered for EVERYTHING.

also trying to stop lifting. rarely ever do it but im so shit and VERY impulsive so i feel like im on at least half the shops in my state (a gross exaggeration). trying to stop- cant rly and i only take small shit but AHHHH i cant afford to be on any record or any sort so im trying to put a lid on this.

thats my update for now to nobody in particular, just wanted to yk.... update my fbi agent and whatever else is lurking in this particular dusty corner on the hellsite