Did you know you can use the living room. Could be the next big thing

forgive and forget? wrong. charged two-handed heavy attack with my greatsword of resentment

we have found you guilty of being a monsterfucker ... guards !!! send them to the labyrinth!!! wait why do you look happy about that. stop th

Do you kids know how hard it is to hyper fixate on shit as a goddamn adult?? Sorry boss I know you need those files done but I’m too busy giggling like a goddamn school girl over a fictional man

"youd do numbers on tumblr" girl i am on tumblr and the numbers? 4

it sucks so bad that on top of everything else going on i’m 5’3

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

<3

however annoyed by an elden ring boss you are, remember, they're more annoyed by you. you're a lord or god or something, 15ft tall because you're a legend, hanging out behind your Fog Wall and some goddamn little duende saunters in with 5 different glowing effects around her. she rings a stupid little gnome bell and summons the ghost of some other weird cryptid. she hits you, ok not much damage, no problem. you hit her and she seems about halfway dead. she has a little sippy of her Duende Juicebox. She has precognition of how you move so she dodges 12 swipes in a row. you finally hit her again, this time hard. she takes a little sippy of her Duende Juicebox. she's Rudely stubbing your toe this whole time because she can't reach any higher than your shin. she seems to only know like 2 moves. you completely lose track of how many Sippies of her Duende Juicebox she takes after her seventh. as you tire, she seems cheerful and full of energy, ever sipping on her goddamn Duende Juicebox. you finally kill her. she enters through the fog again. this continues forever until you die

When you put it like this, it makes me so much more motivated ngl