Nerd Shit

There'll be mulch when you are done

Lay your wormy head to rest

Don't you crawl no more

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

when they send u a voice message instead of a text>>>

every time i see a woman i’m like good for her. coolest girl alive

this was meant to say every time i see a woman riding a skateboard but also yes

mutual activities (unprotected sex no pullout)

it really is fucking pathetic that a country with more guns than people can't hit one guy

if this is how you found out there was an active shooter at the White House yesterday I'm sorry

Me: oh it's this post again. Wait. Why does it say "posted 37 minutes ago"

Not to vagueblog but some of you are definitely the sweetest souls and I think of you fondly

let's develop a perfect plan

1. get cozy in bed

modern social media should stop offering "sync with your phone contacts to follow them" options and start offering "block all your phone contacts so they never see your account" options

thinking about all the times as a kid in a group project someone didn’t want to do the work so they’d go “ugh i don’t get it, i don’t get any of this” and I’d go “okay! what don’t you understand and maybe i can help! 😊” and they’d look at me like i’m the idiot. anyway people still do this as an adult and there is no escape