This one is PURELY NS.F.W!!!
Change pronouns to fit your muse, yadda, yadda.
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?
You know, if I were you, Iād have sex with me.
We should play strip poker. You can strip and Iāll poke you.
My magical watch says youāre not wearing any panties? Oh you are? Darn, it must be an hour fast.
Some men go around telling women they have an eight-inch penis, but Iād never shortchange myself like that.
I hope youāre a plumber, because youāve got my pipe leaking.
Letās play Barbie. Iāll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.
Are you butt dialing? Because I swear that ass is calling me.
My couch pulls out but I donāt.
If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?
Youāre so hot even my zipper is falling for you.
Let me guess your favorite position: anything that involves my balls bouncing against your ass.
My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
Do you have pet insurance? Because your pussyās getting smashed tonight.
My allergies are acting up. Because every time your around my dick swells up.
Youāre just like a wine tasting. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing.
Iāve just received government funding for a 4 hr expedition to find your G-spot.
Are you a supermarket sample? Because I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame.
You look so good, I wanna kiss your lips and move up to your bellybutton.
I like my coffee how I like my woman⦠creamed.
Iāll show you my tan lines if youāll show me yours.
Sit on my face and Iāll eat my way to your heart.
Great dress/pants. Iām sorry Iāll have to rip it apart.
Bet I can touch your belly button⦠from the inside.
I bet your nipples are pink. Mind if I take a look?
Iāll kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet.
Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.
Youāre like my pinky toe, Iām gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
Do you know why they call me the cat whisperer? Because I know exactly what your pussy needs.
You know how your hair would look really good? In my lap.
Your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?
Do you know the difference between my dick and a chicken wing? No? Well, letās go on a picnic and find out.
Iām like a Rubikās Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get.
Iām a mindreader and yes I will sleep with you.
I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses⦠One leg over each ear.
So youāre not into casual sex? Fine, Iāll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex.
My dickās been feeling dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
Why pay for a bra when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?
Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out.
Are you the lottery lady on TV? Because Iām picturing you holding up my balls.
Iām a bird watcher & Iām looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.
Did you grow up on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Iād love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.
Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my dick.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore. My face should be among them.
Want to see if you can add āhas an awesome gag reflexā to your resume?
Can you do telekinesis? Because youāve made a part of me move without even touching it.