So, I'm not back officially, I still feel like I need more time away, but I came on here to express some of my feelings that I've been thinking about.
This is going to sound really cheesy lmao so if you're not into that then feel free to scroll but I think I've concluded as to why Anakin Skywalker is my favorite.
This has just been on my mind lately and I thought my Tumblr would be the best to express it because I know there are a lot of Anakin stans who follow me and y'all might feel similar. But this gets really personal, so bear with me.
So, to get to my reasoning.
At this point, I feel like we know how sad Anakin's fall to the Dark Side is and how tragic it is and how angry we all are for him giving in to that. I feel like that's the basis as to why for those of everyone who does like Anakin is because of his incredible character arc. At least, that's what I've concluded from coming into contact with people who have similar tastes.
But also, I've noticed (at least with me) that there's a deeper meaning to his character that I (and maybe several others) resonate with so much.
As a gifted kid, I was always treated with some sort of expectancy or some super unobtainable goal that was thrust upon me.
When I was in the fifth grade I was recorded that I was reading with a sophomore reading level, and of course, later in high school, I was recorded with a reading level that of a college graduate. (Idk what I am now but whatever, probably am Jared 19)
I excelled in all of my English programs and writing programs and was offered a shit ton of advanced English classes, though I never took them (until high school) because I was afraid I'd lose my friends.
No, this isn't me just bragging, I could care less about my experience in elementary school through middle school (I'm grateful but I just don't deem them worthy of bragging). I'm saying this, because I was pushed.
I know a lot of kids can relate to this, but anyway, I was pushed in my education. My mom and dad would always be like, "Well, 90 is okay but a 100 is better." I'm grateful that they always thought I could've done better, but it got to the point where I would bring a report card home with straight A's and they'd just, "Well, I mean, the A's look nice but they're low A's."
And I think it became a point of manipulation. Like a, "You'll never be enough," type of situation. When I started bringing home B's with stuff in my English classes they were like, "And what's your excuse?" Or whatever, and I wouldn't have one. Instead they'd just shove the paper back in my face and tell me to, "Do better."
But, how does this relate to Anakin?
Well, I've taken notice that because he was The Chosen One, or the Hero With No Fear, or etc, I've noticed that he was pushed and everyone was always expecting greatness from him.
When I first saw Star Wars, my heart ached for him. I ached when I saw that the almighty Chosen One came crashing down, when he started going around asking for help when he was struggling and yet no one gave him sound advice because he was The Chosen One and was supposed to figure it out for himself.
My heart ached for him when he gave so much and was so passionate only to receive little praise in the end.
And then, when he finally turned into Darth Vader, I started sobbing. From the entirety of when Obi-Wan was shot down at the beginning of Order 66 to the very end of the film, I could not stop bawling. My heart was genuinely aching.
But... I wasn't surprised. I wasn't surprised that when the evil guy came into his life to give him sound advice, he turned to the Dark Side. He wanted to be good, he did, but when someone comes offering you what seems like an easy solution to all of your issues, it's easy to give in.
It's easy to follow your heart and ignore the bigger picture because, where were those people who kept pushing you? They weren't there for you. They only wanted "the best" for you. Yet, when someone comes along like that... It's hard to ignore.
I suffered similarly to Anakin through the option of just giving up. My grades started dropping when I realized that it didn't really matter, when I realized I could solve my problems through procrastination and I could just come home and sleep it off or whatever. Basically, when I realized that no one was going to be there for me, I realized my bed was lmao. My blankets are nice, okay? (And now I'm depressed 😋)
Anyway, in the end, I wasn't surprised at Anakin's fall. But I was shocked at how it all came to happen. If anything it was just really relatable.
But even through it all, I came to realize that he was just as lost as I was. Some little naive kid who was offered a better solution.
But hey. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, right?
(Also I think Anakin's very pretty but that's all)
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