can we save love?

"don't," he cut you off, his voice raspy, deeper, and rougher than you had ever heard it. he looked up, his dark eyes dilated so wide they looked almost entirely black, a faint, dark flush creeping up his neck and dusting his cheekbones.

he gripped the insides of your knees, his fingers digging into your skin with a possessiveness that made your blood run hot. "shit—do it again."

"w-what? but i—"

"please," he begged, the word slipping out with a desperate, breathless edge that made your stomach flip. his chest was heaving. "squeeze me again. oh fuck—just like that, baby. lock your legs."

the raw hunger in his expression made it impossible to refuse. slowly, hesitantly, you brought your thighs back together, locking him in place once more, applying a firm, steady pressure against his neck.

a low, ragged groan escaped him, vibrating directly against your sensitive bud. he buried his face back into you, his tongue working with a newfound, frantic intensity that completely derailed your thought process. "harder," he mumbled against your pussy, his hands sliding up to your hips, fingers bruisingly tight as he anchored you. "squeeze harder, baby."

you complied, tightening your hold, completely overwhelmed by the blinding intensity of it. you were caught so deeply in the throes of your own approaching climax that the world narrowed down to just the pressure of your legs and the wicked, relentless motion of his mouth.

because of the sensory overload, you didn't notice the subtle, rhythmic motion beneath you at first. you didn't realize that with every tight squeeze of your thighs restricting his airflow, choso was heavily, desperately humping his clothed length straight into the mattress. he was completely losing himself in the friction, his hips rolling in a tight, frantic pattern against the sheets, riding the intoxicating sensation of being choked by you.

your climax hit like a freight train, your walls pulsing violently around his tongue as a loud cry left your lips. you squeezed him tight, your thighs locking like a vice as you rode the wave.

right as you peaked, choso let out a choked, broken sound. his whole body went rigid beneath you. his hips gave one last, hard, desperate shove into the mattress, his fingers digging so deeply into your hips it was almost painful. he trembled violently, his breath catching in a long, shuddering gasp as he buried his face entirely in your thigh, hiding himself away as he spent.

as the sparks in your vision began to fade and your breathing slowed, you gradually loosened the grip of your legs. choso slumped forward, resting his forehead against your stomach, his chest rising and falling in rapid, shallow pants.

it was only then, as the quiet returned to the room, that you noticed the heavy, uneven thumping of his heart against your leg, and the distinct, damp heat pressing through the fabric of his trousers right where he had been pinning himself to the bed.

you blinked down at him, your hand coming up to rest in his dark hair. "cho...?"

he didn't move for a long moment, completely spent, his shoulders still twitching slightly. when he finally looked up, his face was completely flushed, eyes heavy and hooded with a profound, dazed satisfaction. he swallowed hard, a sheepish but utterly dark look in his eyes as he realized you had figured it out. he hadn't even touched himself; he had finished purely from the friction of the bed and the suffocating pressure of your thighs.

You had arrived at the Wheeler house earlier that afternoon for a group outing to the cinema, but unfortunately, going anywhere with the party meant you were doomed to be late no matter what. And according to Mike’s calculations, you’d be lucky if you didn’t miss the whole introduction of the movie.

“I can barely breathe back here—open the window!” Max exclaimed.

And the other problem was that Steve was the only responsible adult with a car to take you all there, meaning there were currently about six teenagers stuffed in his Beamer.

Steve froze in his tracks midway out the door, patting his back pocket repeatedly. “My keys—shit—where are my car keys!”

Robin was already ten steps ahead of him leaning against the car door, twirling his keys around her fingers. “C’mon Harrington, we’re gonna be late.” She said with a smug smirk.

Steve leveled her with a threatening glare. “Oh, absolutely not.”

“What was that?” Robin quirked her head, already sitting in the driver's seat.

He ran over and gripped the edge of her window, “Robin. You are not driving, you don’t even have a license, the last thing I need is for you to scratch up my car.”

“Too late!” She grinned, starting up the engine.

Steve huffed out a sharp breath, if she wanted to drive he was going to be watching the whole time. Just as he rounded the corner, Dustin swooped into the passenger seat.

“Shotgun!” He yelped.

“Out, Henderson. I’m older.” Steve shook the door, but Dustin had already locked it cautiously.

“Which also means you’ve gotten slower. Sorry old man, but to the back you go.” He gestured.

Having no other choice, Steve joined the rest of the kids in his already beyond cramped backseat. You were the last one to join the crew, standing unmoving in front of the car door as you observed the occupied seats.

“Oh, there’s…no space.” You muttered.

“Sure there is—just scootch over,” he instructed Lucas, but when you tried getting in, the door wouldn’t even shut.

Dustin groaned from the front, “This is what happens when you only have one car!”

Steve rolled his eyes, “couldn’t you guys just bike there?”

Dustin turned around to look at him like the suggestion was crazy. “Who bikes all the way to the cinema?”

Robin honked the horn, getting all of your attention once again. “Jesus—just sit in his lap, it isn’t that complicated!”

Your eyes widened immediately, you couldn't imagine having to put all your weight onto Steve’s lap for the duration of the drive. But, it did seem like the best solution, plus you were friends—it’s normal, right?

Steve swallowed thickly, nodding shakily. “Y-yeah, yeah, I can—just c’mere.” He avoided your gaze, worried if you looked close enough you would see the pink flush climbing up the side of his neck.

You hesitated, but any more time wasted and the kids would throw you out all together. Very slowly, you attempted not to bump into him as you gripped the seat, lowering yourself onto him.

He let out a low grunt, not because you were heavy, but because the effect was instant. Your soft hair was tickling his nose, the smell of your coconut shampoo and perfume invading his senses without warning. Steve didn’t know what to do with his hands, placing them around you might make you feel uncomfortable, he resolved to just hold the edge of the seat.

You didn’t dare turn around, you could already feel him, his warm breath hitting your shoulder, the broadness of his chest behind you, trying not to focus on how badly you wanted to lean against it, feel his body underneath your head.

The car started moving and you kept your mouth shut, grateful that the others were loud enough for them not to notice you and Steve’s unusual quietness.

Steve was taking short uneven breaths, your thighs were splayed over his and he couldn’t think straight. He was fighting the urge to pull you closer to him, the light fabric of your clothes weren’t stopping him from feeling your skin touching his.

Robin was severely under qualified to be driving, out of nowhere she swerved the car to the side, everyone letting out screams as they bumped into each other. The force jolted you to the side, and before you could hit your head against the window, Steve’s hands wrapped protectively around your waist, pulling you back until you were glued to his body.

He let out a curse at the close call, but your mind wasn’t on Robin’s reckless driving skills, it was reeling on how tight he was gripping you—his large veiny hands almost completely spanning the entirety of your waist.

“You alright?” Steve breathed quietly into your ear.

You took a couple of breaths before speaking, afraid you would only be a stuttering mess. “Mhm, better than ever.” You said unconvincingly.

You missed the way he smiled against the back of your neck, Steve was right where he wanted to be.

Feeling like you were undoubtedly crushing him, you shifted forwards and attempted to situate yourself so that you could sit upright. Suddenly, his hands squeezed you—his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

“Stop moving.” He whispered low into your ear. You frowned in confusion, why would he want you to be laying on him?

Oh.

Steve cleared his throat heavily, and you could feel how hot his body was now. The car felt more cramped than earlier, it seemed like there was no place to go but closer.

After many missed turns, Robin eventually pulled into the theater’s parking lot, everyone praying in relief that they hadn’t died on the way. They all stumbled out until it was only you and Steve left, climbing out of his lap begrudgingly.

You looked back to see him still sitting, “Aren’t you coming?” You asked, waiting.

His body stiffened, arms held together in the same spot you had been recently sitting on. “Just give me a minute.” Steve responded tightly, unable to get up in public in his current state.

Just as Steve deepens the kiss—his large hands on either side of your neck gently titling your head back to coax your lips apart with his tongue—the sound of someone gasping in surprise rips the two of you apart.

Please don’t let it be Dustin. Please don’t let it be Dustin.

But as you pull away from Steve, your face burning and Steve looking a little dazed, you quickly realise that it wasn’t Dustin who had caught you—it was Lucas.

“Um, hi Sinclair,” Steve says by way of greeting, trying to act casual and as though you hadn’t been making out merely seconds ago.

Lucas’ eyes dart from Steve, to you and back again.

“Oh, Dustin is gonna flip—”

“—you can’t tell Henderson!” Steve insists, eyes widening in slight panic. “He’ll kill me—”

“—maybe you should have thought about it before you started making out with his sister—”

“—it was just a kiss—”

“—that’s a bunch of bull—”

“—Lucas, please don’t tell Dustin,” you plead with Lucas, cutting him off mid sentence so you didn’t have to hear him and Steve bicker back and forth a moment longer.

“Why not?” Lucas asks. “He deserves to know, this isn’t fair on him, you know? Besides, the party doesn’t keep secrets from each other. I have to tell him.”

The guilt stirs in your gut because you knew Lucas was right. You knew not being honest with Dustin wasn’t fair on him but you were trying to be sensitive around your brother’s current state.

Steve glances at you, seeing the torn expression on your face and his hand twitches, as though he was desperate to reach for yours.

“Just give us a few days, yeah?” Steve asks Lucas. “We’ll tell him. We just need to figure out how to do it gently.”

Lucas looks unconvinced and you decide to plead with him instead.

“Please Lucas?” You press him gently before he could open his mouth to tell you no. “Th—this isn’t a bit of fun for us and we want to tell Dustin properly.”

Your eyes are on Lucas but you could feel Steve looking at you at your words. You try not to think too much about it.

“Wait—you guys are like…serious?” Lucas asks.

You feel your face warming and you force yourself not to look at Steve at that moment.

“Yeah,” Steve says, his hand finding yours, thumb gently rubbing over your skin and making it hard for you to hold back a smile. “We are.”

Lucas looks at Steve for a long moment before finally, he nods. “Okay,” he says, somewhat reluctantly. “Okay, okay. I won’t tell him. But you two should probably stop making out in the basement if you don’t want him to catch you.”

You learned a day later that Lucas Sinclair could not keep a secret.

You were back in the basement of the radio station, planning the next crawl. The basement was full with the entirety of the party present as well as the older kids, Joyce and Hooper. You stand beside Steve, trying to keep a straight face as you listen to Nancy but it was proving difficult when Steve kept nudging his foot against yours.

You hear your name being said and you look up to see Nancy looking at you expectantly.

“What?” You ask, your mind half on the conversation and half on Steve’s arm that was brushing against yours. “Sorry. What did you say, Nance?”

Nancy looks at you, slightly suspicious of the distracted look on your face before she glances back down at the map. “I asked if you and Steve were okay to take the van tonight? We need Dustin to stay here to cover—”

Lucas snorts with laughter and you don’t even have time to send him a warning look before he bursts out, “Oh, they’ll be just fine. They’re just gonna make out the whole time.”

His words were met with complete and utter silence.

Your face was burning and Steve was almost completely lost for words. Lucas seems to realise two seconds too late what he had just let slip and attempts to laugh it off.

“I was kidding! It was just a—”

But nothing gets past Dustin Henderson.

“What are you talking about?” Dustin asks, brows furrowed in confusion as he looks from you to Steve and back again. “Is there something I don’t know about going here or?”

“I um,” Steve begins, looking at you while Robin—who was the only person who knew about you and Steve—struggles to keep a straight face. “I mean he was probably jo—”

“—no, don’t try and bullshit me man, what is Lucas talking about?”

You look up your brother then and you almost see the way he’s putting two and two together. At the way Steve’s body was turned towards yours, how he was looking at you with a soft look of concern on his face. 

“Dustin, I swear we were going to tell you—” You begin but Dustin is quick to cut you off.

“—we?” Dustin asks, nostrils flaring as he looks at Steve. “There’s a we?”

“Can we please focus?” Hopper’s gruff voice cuts in before you or Steve could respond. “There’s more important things that we need to—”

“—you can’t be serious,” Dustin interrupts, clearly no longer caring about the crawl as he glares at both you and Steve. “You and Steve? Seriously?”

“Dustin, could you just—”

But Dustin is already shaking his head, curls bouncing as he walks away from the table without another word to either you or Steve.

Everyone in the room seems to hold their breath as Dustin practically stomps up the basement stairs while you and Steve look at each other. You vaguely register Lucas profusely apologising for running his mouth but you weren’t listening.

“I’ll go after him,” you say to Steve. “I can talk to him and—”

“—no, I’ll go,” Steve insists with a shake of his head. You open your mouth to protest but Steve is already leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek before he follows Dustin up the basement stairs.

“So you and Steve, huh?” Robin asks, trying and failing to seem surprised. “I had no idea! That’s such a surprise!”

Both Nancy and Jonathan laugh in a disbelieving sort of way and even you manage to crack a smile, despite the way your heart was pounding in your chest as you can’t help but imagine the conversation that Steve and your brother were having.

“Alright! Can we focus up now, please?” Hopper calls out, trying to wrangle everyone’s attention back to the mission at hand. “Alright—Wheeler—no Mike, not you—I need you and Buckley to—”

“—I’m just gonna go and check Steve and Dustin are okay,” you interrupt Hopper, ignoring the audible groan of frustration from him as you slip past the group and race up the basement stairs.

You follow the sound of Steve and Dustin’s voices, all the way up the basement stairs and out of the maintenance room where the entrance to the basement was hidden. You’re about to round the corner to head into the kitchen when the sound of Steve’s voices stops you.

“—I promise you man, I’m not just fooling around with her. I wouldn’t do that, especially not to her.”

“Then why would you not tell me? If you were that serious about her—”

“—I was scared, okay? I was—I was scared you wouldn’t handle it well and honestly? I was scared because I hadn’t felt this way about anyone before.”

Your breath hitches and even Dustin is taken aback by Steve’s words.

“Not even Nancy?”

A beat and then—

“Yeah. Not even Nance. With Nance it was—it was constantly worrying if I was doing the right thing, if I was enough. But with your sister—” Steve begins and though you can’t see him, you can hear the smile in his voice. “—she’s the real deal. She’s my favourite person and I was scared that telling everyone about our relationship would burst that bubble or something.”

You bit back a smile as you lean against the wall, your heart feeling fuller at Steve’s admission.

“She’s your favourite person?” Dustin repeats, his voice a little softer now.

“Yeah,” Steve says quietly. “She is.”

You almost step out and into the kitchen but what Dustin asks Steve next keeps you rooted to the spot.

“Do you love her?”

You swallow because three months together meant that you hadn’t yet breached the L word yet with Steve. You knew you loved him—you had known since the very first kiss if you were honest with yourself. But you had never told him that and you couldn’t be sure that Steve was actually in love with you too.

You almost leave, so that you don’t have to hear Steve’s response. In fact, you started to do just that—stepping back towards the stairs that lead back down to the basement when—

“Yeah,” Steve breathes. “I do. I love her.”

Your heart was doing funny things in your chest, things that surely defied science and all because Steve Harrington admitted that he loved you. He loved you, he loved you, he loved you.

“Wow,” you hear Dustin say a few seconds later, after he had digested Steve’s words. “Love. That’s um, that’s big, Steve.”

“It’s kind of hard not to fall in love with her.”

The smile that was beginning to tug on your lips almost hurt at Steve’s words. You had to fight the urge to run toward your boyfriend and kiss him stupid.

“You know if you break her heart that I’ll get Jonathan to beat you up again—”

“—oh c’mon, that was one time, I could totally take Byers again if I—”

“—so as long as you don’t do anything too stupid then—then I guess…I guess I forgive you for keeping it from me.”

“I promise you I won’t,” Steve reassures Dustin. “I’m gonna keep her for as long as she’ll have me. You never know, I might be your brother in law one day—”

“—nevermind, take everything I said back—”

“—too late, I can already see it now. A spring wedding, you can be the ring bearer and—”

You don’t see it but you hear a thumping sound which could only mean Dustin had smacked your boyfriend’s arm to shut him up. And you can’t help yourself, you let out a laugh.

There was silence from the kitchen and your heart thumps as you realise that both Steve and Dustin had heard you. 

Dustin calls out your name and asks, “is that you?”

You squeeze your eyes shut, silently cursing yourself before you respond. “Yeah. It’s me.”

You step out then, heading towards the kitchen where Dustin and Steve were watching you step over the threshold. Dustin looked incredibly amused while Steve had a look of apprehension on his face, likely worried about just how much you had overheard.

“You’re so like mom, you know that? She’s always eavesdropping on my conversations—”

Your face burns at that and you glance quickly at Steve before looking away, “—I wasn’t eavesdropping, Dustin—”

“—you totally were. But whatever, I’m glad you two are happy. Just don’t make out in front of me. I don’t want anymore reasons to go to therapy at my age.”

You let out a choked out sound while the tips of Steve’s ears turn red. Dustin pays no mind to it, slipping past you as he heads towards the basement door with a slight spring in his step.

You don’t speak and neither does Steve. You begin to fiddle with a button on your cardigan while Steve seems suddenly interested in looking out of the kitchen window. 

“So, do you wanna head back down before Hoppers kills us or—”

“—how much did you hear?”

You flex your fingers, the button slipping from your hand as you look over at Steve. He has a carefully measured expression on his face, as though he was bracing himself for the worst.

For a moment, you debate whether or not to lie to him. Whether you should tell him you hadn’t heard much at all but one look in those big, hazel eyes that you loved so much and you couldn’t find it in yourself to lie to him.

“You said I’m your favourite person,” you say finally with a faint smile. “That was sweet.”

Steve swallows nervously, a pink flush creeping up his neck as he looks back at you. “It’s true, you are.” He takes a tentative step closer, his eyes not leaving yours as he asks, “what else did you hear?”

You pretend to think, finding it near impossible to not smile as Steve stands right in front of you, his hands planting themselves on your waist and squeezing affectionately.

“I heard you say that you love me,” you say softly, your eyes flickering over his face.

“Yeah?” Steve murmurs, leaning in until his lips ghosted over your cheek, his breath hot against your skin. “And what did you think about that, baby?”

You exhale a shuddering breath, Steve’s lips placing a tender kiss to your cheek, then another to your forehead, then your nose and finally the very corner of your mouth. The contact makes your entire body shudder.

“I think,” you breathe out, head tilting back instinctively so as to look back at him. “I think it’s a good thing that I love you too.”

You feel Steve’s breathing slow, his hands grip you that little bit tighter and there was a look in his face that you hadn’t seen before.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, barely able to contain the smile on his face, “I love you. I love you so much. I can’t believe—”

He doesn’t even finish his own sentence, his lips sealing over yours in a kiss that leaves you breathless. Your hands find their way into his hair and his pull you flush against him, your mouths moving against each other as though you had all the time in the world.

It was you who had the sense to pull away first—Steve chasing your lips and pressing kiss after kiss there until you were laughing against him.

“Later,” you promise him, placing a finger to his lips to stop him. “We’ve got a crawl to plan.”

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his hands slide up from your hips to your waist, palms warm and slightly sweaty. he's looking at you with an expression you can't quite read—hunger and wonder and something softer mixed in.

"okay?" he asks.

you nod, swallowing. "okay."

"good." he shifts beneath you, and you feel him twitch inside you, making you gasp. his lips curl into a smirk, but it's strained, his composure crumbling at the edges. "now move when you're ready. however you want. i've got you."

you start slow. experimental rolls of your hips, testing the angle, the friction. each movement sends sparks through your nerves, makes your breath stutter. his hands guide but don't push, his thumbs tracing lazy circles on your skin.

"like that," he says, voice rough. "just like that."

you find a rhythm. rocking forward, grinding down, the wet sound of your bodies meeting filling the quiet room. his head falls back again, eyes fluttering shut, and you watch his throat work as he swallows.

"you feel incredible," he rasps. "god, you have no idea how good you feel."

you pick up the pace, bracing your hands on his chest. the new angle makes him hit deeper, and you moan, head dropping forward. he takes the opportunity to lean up, catching your mouth in a kiss that's all tongue and teeth and desperation.

when he pulls back, he's breathing hard. his bangs are plastered to his forehead. there's a flush spreading across his chest.

"you're doing so well," he says, and his voice cracks on the last word. "fucking—perfect. you're perfect."

you roll your hips harder, chasing the friction, the pressure building low in your belly. his hands grip your waist tighter, and you can feel him fighting the urge to take over, to flip you and fuck you into the mattress.

"close?" he asks.

you nod, too breathless for words.

"me too." he laughs, shaky. "fuck, me too. you're gonna make me—"

he cuts himself off with a groan, his hips bucking up into you despite himself. you gasp at the sudden depth, your walls clenching around him.

"sorry," he grits out. "sorry, i just—you feel too good. i can't—"

his composure is crumbling. the infuriatingly cocky sorcerer is falling apart beneath you, his breathing ragged, his hands shaking where they hold you. he's babbling now, half-words and broken praises, telling you how good you are, how tight, how perfect.

"come for me," he gasps. "please. i need to feel you—"

you do. the command, the desperation in his voice, the way he's barely holding himself together—it pushes you over the edge. you clench around him, a broken moan falling from your lips as pleasure rips through you.

he follows a second later, with a groan that sounds almost pained, his hips thrusting up as he spills inside you. you feel every pulse, every hot rush of him filling you, and it draws your own orgasm out until you're trembling and spent.

you collapse against his chest, both of you slick with sweat, breathing hard. his arms wrap around you, pulling you close, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"holy shit," he mutters.

you laugh weakly. "good?"

he tilts your chin up, kissing you slow and deep.

"perfect."

Nights at Rita's were some of your favorites.

Everyone got to have fun, drinks got to be consumed, and normally the addition of alcohol helped you to forget about your stresses and really let loose.

You also noticed on these nights just how much attention you received from a certain spymaster, AND his shadows...

Tonight was slightly different, your High Lord and Lady not being present due to the their new parental duties for Nyx. That left only a few from the inner circle surrounding your usual booth.

You were sat next to Mor, Emerie on her other side, and across from you sat Azriel, sandwiching Cassian between himself and Nesta.

Playing a game of truth or dare, you had all found yourselves pretty tipsy pretty quick. All except for Azriel who you were sure was feeling it, but he was too composed to be confident in your beliefs.

The last time you had seen him was when he walked you home from family game night. He bid a sweet goodbye before being abruptly sent on a week long mission the next day.

You had attended your own meetings and duties over the week, but you couldn't ignore how slow the week passed by in his absence.

A lag in the game brought out the memories of how lonely you felt this week, but before you could get too overwhelmed, Mor's shrieking voice snapped you out of it.

"This is the bestttt song! We have to go dance!".

Everyone around the table either nodded or stated their agreement, all except for you and the man shrouded in darkness across from you.

"Care to join us, y/n?".

You let yourself ponder Mor's question briefly, scrunching your brows and chewing on your lip before politely declining.

"I'm good. I'm too tired to dance."

With a round of boos, the party left the table. You tracked their movement as far as you could before the crowd enveloped them, turning back to the table and taking a quick swig of your drink.

You let your eyes roam around the booth, noticing all of the empty shot glasses and cringing. Just as you went to grab your drink again, a deep voice paused your movements.

"You're never too tired to dance."

Quickly glancing in his direction, you were met with Azriel's curious gaze, his eyes bouncing between your features.

"I just didn't want to tell them I was tipsy."

You felt a small smile taking over your face at the admission, the alcohol running through your veins making the statement seem way funnier than it was.

You watched Azriel's own grin take over his lips. You wouldn't have even been able to tell if you didn't stare at him so often, the tiny change in his features being very obvious to your gaze.

He grabbed his glass and brought it to his lips slowly, unable to look away from the amused glint in his eyes over the rim of his whiskey.

"I've never had whiskey."

The factoid fell past your lips quietly, the tipsiness allowing your lips to move more freely than they normally did.

Azriel's eyebrows shot up at your statement, his hand with the glass in it sliding towards you across the booth.

Deciding you didn't like the distance, you scooted around the inner circle of the booth, bringing yourself closer to his side.

A heat blossomed in your chest when you noticed Azriel shifting in the booth to be able to press his knee against your own. To anyone else, it seemed innocent, but you were certain that if Azriel didn't want to be touching you, he wouldn't be.

Taking the glass from his grip to your own, you raised it ever so slightly so only a small amount would flow past your lips. Azriel's intense stare on your face while awaiting your reaction sent a heat to your lower belly that was not from the whiskey.

Finishing your sip, you brought the glass back down slowly as you contemplated your thoughts on the taste. Before you could get any words out, an uncontrollable cringe took over your face, your eyebrows scrunching and frown taking over your lips.

You heard Azriel's deep chuckle from beside you as you reached for your glass to wash down the intensity of the whiskey on your tongue.

Shaking your head one last time to get rid of the aftertaste, you threw an accusatory look towards Azriel that had the crease in his cheek growing deeper.

"Why would you let me drink that?"

He only mocked offense, his eyes shining with so much amusement you couldn't contain the smile from lifting at the corners of your mouth.

"I figured you could handle it."

With his words, his voice dropped a note or two lower, and his head ducked down to be closer to your ear. You felt flames light your cheeks with the tone of his voice, deep and teasing.

Reaching for your own glass, you held it up to him with the straw facing his mouth.

"Try mine. It's actually good."

Just when you thought he was going to take it, instead of his hand wrapping around your glass, it wrapped around your wrist. You couldn't look away from his intense gaze as he raised your hand still holding your glass up to his lips and took a slow sip.

Mother help me was the only thing that crossed your mind as you watched his throat work the drink down, his eyes still locked with yours as he licked any remaining drink off of his lips.

You subconsciously pressed your legs together under the table, the heat from his gaze shooting straight to your core. Azriel gently released your hand, your drink being forgotten on the table as you brought it down to rest in your lap.

Recovering quickly, you let your brow raise in question as you awaited his critiques of your drink.

He seemed to ponder it for a second, his gaze growing distant as he thought to himself. Once he had made up his mind, he turned back to you with a deadpan look on his face.

Already bracing for his critique, you let your face fall into an almost pout, your hands coming up to make prayer hands.

Azriel looked you over, trying to fight the smile off of his face as he took in your new position.

"It's good."

As soon as you heard the words, you shot your arms up in a cheer. Beaming at him, you brought your hands to rest on his arm next to you.

"I knew you'd like it! I know you better than you think."

Azriel only watched you with that signature smirk of his, his eyes dancing with mirth as he took in the giddiness you let out in this drunken state.

The smile quickly disappeared when you went to pull your hands away and Azriel quickly grabbed one and pulled you towards him.

Once again, his head dipped low to talk into your ear. The hairs on the back of your neck raised when you felt his breath in your hair, his voice so close to you you couldn't help but feel flustered.

"Mine was still better."

You kept your eyes on his chest, your heart pounding violently between your ribs. As he pulled away, you followed his gaze. You watched him as he smoothed your hair down from where he had messed it up.

Suddenly having these overwhelming feelings taking over, you couldn't find the strength to hold back on admitting something to him. Something you probably would not have said without the encouragement of the liquor flowing through you.

"I missed you."

Holding his gaze, you watched him still, his mind working over the quiet words tumbling past your lips.

Not knowing what to do with yourself, you let your head fall down to stare at your lap, more embarrassment quickly flooding your senses the longer it took him to respond.

Just as you were about to apologize and try to play it off as being intoxicated, a textured hand slid onto the juncture of your neck. Gently, his grip pushed up on your jaw to bring your gaze back to his own.

When you finally made eye contact with him, his face was definitely closer to yours.

"What did you say?"

His eyes were examining yours. At his question you immediately tensed, sure you had just made him feel uncomfortable. Before you could think through your answer, an excuse was tumbling past your lips.

"I'm sorry Az. I don't kno- I just meant-"

Your words died out as you watched Azriel's gaze drop from your eyes to your lips, his gaze full of something you'd never seen before. Wanting, desire, maybe even lust.

"Say it again."

You paused at that, your eyes searching his own as he stared at your lips, his eyes flickering back to yours occasionally as he tightened his grip on your neck and brought the two of you closer.

With your neck craning back, you realized you were almost chest to chest with the spymater. His shadows swirled around the both of you lazily, and you almost got distracted by their beauty before Azriel started speaking again.

"Say it again, y/n."

Swallowing thickly, you locked onto his gaze before letting a soft "I missed you." fall past your lips again. Azriel's eyes almost rolled back in his head. You felt your breath hitch at the deep growl coming from his chest.

Without warning, his lips met your own.

Kissing Azriel was the definition of perfection. His lips met yours softly, not too hurried or rash. He kissed you slowly, like he had been waiting for it, savoring it. A noise you didn't even know you could make rose from the back of your throat, Azriel groaning again when he heard it.

He pulled back a few moments later, chest heaving as he took in your face only inches from his own. Your eyes fluttered from his eyes back to his lips, and he took that as an invitation.

This time when he leaned in, it was more aggressive. His tongue danced with your own dominantly, his other hand coming up to hold the other side of your face. You tilted your head as far back as you could to grant him better access, and when he kissed you deeper you couldn't help but to let out a whine. Clutching his shirt in your hands, you let your body take over as every thought you had disappeared.

Pulling away for air, Azriel rested his forehead against your own as he searched your gaze. Still looking up at him, you bit your lip when you felt a smile pulling at your lips that you couldn't hold back, a flush still painting your cheeks. Your chests rose and fell into each other, and his hands remained glued to the sides of your neck.

"Mother help me."

The words fell from his lips in almost a groan before he was kissing you again, this one shorter and more desperate. Just as he was about to push it further, the sound of your drunken friends returning to the booth pulled you apart.

Luckily, you were positioned where they weren't able to see you until they were right in front of the table. You both quickly straightened up and you adjusted your hair before they came into view.

Everyone began sitting down, exhaustion clear on their faces from the dance floor. Getting adjusted in the booth, you were pushed back closer to Azriel's side as Mor pushed in for more room.

Azriel casually threw an arm over your shoulders on the booth, your gaze catching him from the corner of your eye with a smug look on his face.

As the conversations about the dance floor began, you found yourself gazing off into the distance, the previous ten minutes replaying in your mind over and over again.

Just when you were about to tune everyone out completely, a warm presence on the back of your neck brought you back to reality.

Azriel had silently slid his hand under your hair to grasp the back of your neck, his fingers slightly massaging the area. Glancing in his direction, you felt a blush rise to your cheeks as he remained engaged in his conversation with Cass.

You wiped at your eyes for the dozenth time of the hour, snow clinging to your eyelashes and clouding your vision.

You and Azriel had been sent on a scouting mission, trudging through the snow for hours now. Your assigned target was a group of enchanted autumn court soldiers, but in the relentless weather you hadn’t even gotten a peak of the crazed men.

Stomping further forward, you tried to step into Azriel’s already sunken tracks, but it seemed that by the time you found your footing, the snow had already filled the once dug-out footprints.

“You good?” sounded from in front of you, the only sound to be heard over the roaring wind and snowfall. Azriel was stopped, turning to look at you over his shoulder. You almost recoiled at how unfazed he seemed, suddenly noticing the chattering of your teeth and numbness of your toes tenfold at his unbothered state.

“Just cold. Nothing serious” you waved off, stubbornly trudging forward another step. You suppressed the violent shivers your body had started half an hour ago, refusing to let the SpyMaster see just how miserable you were.

As you got closer to him, you stretched your foot out for a final step. When it made contact with the ground, instead of the fluffy crunch of snow, a shattering sound met your ears. Suddenly, your foot was no longer supported, sending your leg into a substance so cold it burned your skin at impact.

With nothing to grab onto, your body free fell instantly into the freezing water below the surface. Without so much of an “uh o-”, the world was disappearing from in front of you, your eyes being met with nothing but darkness.

At the shrill of the freezing temperature, the only thing your body could do was tense. You didn’t kick, didn’t scream, didn’t fight, it’s like every muscle went into immediate shutdown and numbness. You vaguely felt the feeling of something under your arms before you were surged back up to the land of the breathing.

Something was touching your face. At the whirlwind of motion you just went through, your muddled and frozen brain was struggling to keep up with everything going on. You felt the plushness of snow beneath your back, the wind biting at your cold and wet leathers. “Hey. (Y/n). Please, look at me.” echoed above you. After blinking the frost out of your eyes, you came into focus of a stressed Azriel staring down at you.

His hands were gently brushing up and down your arms as your body involuntarily convulsed from the cold. “Come on. We need to get you warmed up. Just focus on me, angel.” muttered from his lips, his amber gaze still taking in your figure from head to toe, assessing for injuries.

With Azriel’s help, you stiffly rose to your feet after another 30 seconds of examination. Once he deemed you okay to walk, he assisted you into a standing position before wrapping your arm around his neck and trekking forward. “There’s an inn close by we can stay in for the night. It’s just a few miles ahead.” He reassured into your ear, free hand still rubbing up and down your arm for warmth.

After what felt like hours of hobbling, twinkling lights and the smoke from a fireplace appeared in the distance. At the sight, you unwillingly let out a sigh, but with the current situation you realized it came out as more of a whimper. “I know. I know. We’re almost there I promise.” Azriel all but whispered, his free arm coming down to scoop up your legs, taking your body fully into his embrace.

“I’m okay, Az. I can walk” you whispered, teeth chattering so much it sounded like more of a stutter. “You just fell into a frozen lake in the dead of winter. I’m allowed to mother hen for a moment.” he rebuttled, sharp eyes catching yours in a no-nonsense gaze. You couldn’t help the small smile pulling on your lips, Azriel’s eyes taking it in until his lip was lifting slightly as well, pulling out that crease in his cheek you adored.

“Your lips are blue.” he stated, almost to himself as his eyes landed back on your mouth. At the admission, it seemed as if something clicked in him, his head turning and body surging forward once again. With nothing else to do, you lowered your head onto his shoulder and allowed your eyes to close for the remainder of the trip.

When shuffling and the muffled sound of a door closing filled your ears, you slowly raised your head to take in your surroundings. You were still in Azriel’s arms, stood in the middle of a small room. The room was dull, old wooden floors and ancient wallpaper adorning every surface. There was a small dresser, an armoire, a nightstand with a small lamp adorning it, and a very uncomfortable looking bed pushed into the corner.

While it wasn’t extremely inviting, you felt the weight of the world ease off of your shoulders when your eyes caught the hearth of a fireplace across from the bed. Gently rubbing your eyes, you felt Azriel release your legs and set you gently on the floor, his arms staying wrapped around you for assurance before releasing you entirely.

“Let me get the fire started so we can get you warmed up.” he muttered, already set in his task. Your cold fingers started working nimbly at the buttons of your leathers, fighting with each one much harder than you would have if your fingers were behaving properly. You cursed yourself as you failed at the second button, frustrated tears forming in your eyes as your fingers slipped off of the cool metal for the third time.

Right as you went to try again, a warm, textured hand gently laid over yours. “Let me” came from his lips in a whisper, his hand gently pulling yours away from the cursed contraption before he got to work. He slowly undid each button, looking up into your eyes as he worked.

“Would you like me to run you a bath before you change into dry clothes?” he asked, eyes bouncing from your own back down to the buttons repeatedly. You nodded your head eagerly, almost moaning at the thought of sitting in water warmer than -12°.

Once you were freed from the confines of your frozen tunic, Azriel helped you slip off your pants, leaving you in an undershirt and pants that were also frozen. After laying your leathers to dry on the dresser, he made his way to the bathroom.

Instead of feeling useless, you decided to tend to the fire while Azriel was preoccupied. Crouching in front of the hearth, you used the metal poker to stab and adjust the logs to your liking, ignoring the shooting pain in your legs at the squat you were maintaining.

After you were satisfied with the logs, you dropped the poker and wrapped your arms around your knees, resting your head atop them and soaking in the warmth from the flames. After a few seconds of silence, you heard Azriel’s footsteps approaching from behind.

His hand came down to rest on your back, his own legs bringing him into a squat beside you. “The bath is ready. I laid out some clothes for you on the sink.”. You slowly pried your eyes open, taking in his appearance slowly from underneath your lashes. His hand began absentmindedly rubbing up and down on your back soothingly, his soft gaze maintaining your stare.

“Aren’t you cold too?” you muttered, words muffled by your arm pressing into your lips. Azriel’s fingers came up to gently push a strand of hair behind your ear as a soft smile grazed his features once again. “I’ll be okay.” he whispered, grabbing your hands and pulling you to stand once more. “Yell for me if you need anything. I’ll be right here.” passing his lips as he walked you to the bathroom door.

Once in the safety of the bathroom, you felt a warm blush spread over your cheeks. While you undressed, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander to Azriel and his sudden protectiveness of you.

You had been friends with the shadowsinger for years, close enough to share sleepless nights together and find comfort in each other’s presence. While it was mainly a platonic relationship, you sometimes felt a twinge in your heart or an increase in your pulse when he would cuddle up to you. It wasn’t rare for him to seek you out after a long mission and rest in the comfort of your embrace. That’s what friends were for though, right?

As your final piece of wet clothing thudded onto the floor, you dipped your foot into the warm water with a sigh. Azriel had somehow found a bottle of bath oils and dumped them in with the running water, leaving a calming earthy scent wafting throughout the room. As you lowered yourself in, you couldn’t help but let out a groan at the warmth encasing you.

You stayed until the water got lukewarm, scrubbing and relaxing to your hearts content. Once you declared your spa night over, you lifted yourself up, albeit ungracefully, and wrapped yourself in a towel. Reaching for the clothes on the counter, you noticed your usual nightly attire replaced by a large t-shirt with cutouts in the back and some undies.

Back home, Azriel would often slip you one of his t-shirts whenever you complained about how uncomfortable your attire was to sleep in. It seemed like every week he would suddenly have a pile of clothes he no longer wore, coming to your room to drop off his “donations” with a soft smile and a teasing smirk. It didn’t pass on you that each one smelled more and more like him, rising confusion into just howww old each round of t-shirts was. You felt a giddy feeling ignite in your chest at the thoughtfulness of him laying one out for you.

Emerging from the bathroom, you suddenly felt the nerves of wearing so little in Azriel’s presence. Sure, he had seen you in this exact outfit hundreds of times over the years, but something about being in the small confines of the inn made it feel different. Almost like your teenage boyfriend seeing you in your swimsuit for the first time.

You padded lightly over to the fire, Azriel’s head snapping in your direction as you made your way towards him. While you felt a million times better, there was one small issue. You couldn’t clasp the buttons on the back of the shirt. Having a shirt made for Illyrian wings meant two gaping holes in the back, requiring multiple buttons to be clasped for each one to remain closed.

Turning around in front of Azriel, you pulled your damp hair over your shoulder to offer him your back, mewing out a weak “button me?” as you stilled. Gently, his large hands came to rest on the open fabric, pulling and buttoning each one slowly.

“Do you feel any better?” he asked, voice muffled by the concentration he held over the buttons. A wave of shivers went up your spine when his hand brushed the bare skin of your back, an uncontrollable goosebump breaking out in the open space. With a nervous giggle, you squirmed a little at the feeling, a small “so much better” leaving your lips in a sigh.

Once he was satisfied, Azriel gently gripped your wrist and turned you to him. Unbeknownst to you, he had taken the time you spent in the restroom to change, dry himself off, and even heat up some of the soup he had brought in his pack. He wore a simple black t-shirt, tattoos peaking out from the collar, with gray sweatpants. You felt your mouth water slightly at the sight of his shirt stretching over his taught shoulders, choosing to keep your gaze on his face instead.

Pushing down the blush forming on your cheeks, you prayed to the mother Azriel hadn’t caught your ogling, but the small smirk on his face crushed some of that hope. Without warning, he pulled you forward by your wrist, dragging you down into his lap. Your legs rested across his thighs, dangling on his other side, and your arms involuntarily wrapped around his neck. Almost like an instinct.

Azriel wrapped himself around you, one arm coming around your lower back while the other grabbed the back of your head gently, pulling you into him as he buried his face in your neck. You felt him take a deep inhale, his shoulders relaxing under your grip, before he muttered out an “I thought I lost you today.” against the skin of your shoulder. You let your eyes close and your body relax, pushing your face further into his collar like he did yours. An overwhelming scent of pinewood and man invaded your senses, immediately relaxing you and making you crave more.

“I’m sorry Azzie” you whispered, tightening your grip around his shoulders. “I should have paid more attention to where I was stepping.” following your confession as you slowly pulled back to meet his gaze. His eyes immediately found yours, amber glowing in the firelight as they took in your small, apologetic smile. His gaze searched your face for what felt like centuries, eyes catching on your mouth as you unknowingly bit down on your lip before his brows furrowed and a frustrated look took over his features.

“I-uh. I’m going to go get some water.” he rushed out, gently pushing you off of him and standing, leaving you with a pang in your chest. You watched his figure retreat to the door, brows furrowed and silent curiosity taking over when he didn’t even look back at you before he walked out, closing the door behind him.

After slurping down the rest of your soup, your eyes started to close tiredly as you sat patiently on the bed for Azriel’s return. He had only been gone for half an hour, but something in your chest was aching at his absence. Had you done something? Said something? You had been racking your brain endlessly for any hint as to what his distaste could be from, but were coming up empty.

Feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on, you grabbed a pillow and small blanket from the bed before setting up your spot on the floor. Mother forgive if Azriel couldn’t even look at you and you forced him into sharing a bed. He had to be just as exhausted as you, and rather than face the awkward encounter when he returned, you decided to make the decision for the both of you.

Tucking yourself into the thin blanket, you laid your head on the pillow and closed your eyes. The only sounds in the room were the occasional dripping of the bathroom sink, and the cracking of the fire in the hearth. If you hadn’t have been so in your head, it would have been oddly relaxing. Well, relaxing for having your hip stabbing into the hardwood…

Somehow, sleep took over you, the crackling and dripping dwindling into silence as your body fully relaxed into the darkness. It felt like you had only dozed off for a few moments when you heard the door shut quietly on the other side of the room. You had laid out your palette in front of the fireplace, so whoever entered got a good look at your back upon entering the room.

Deciding you didn’t want to face the impending awkwardness, you remained still with your back turned to the door as you tried to listen for Azriel’s movements. He stepped a few feet into the room before you heard his footsteps pause, a quiet “Oh, angel.” coming from him before his footsteps resumed. You heard his footsteps carry over to the nightstand, something sounding like glass being sat atop of it, before he was on the move again.

Realizing he was coming towards you, you quickly shut your eyes and relaxed your features into the likes of sleeping. You knew it was childish, but you had no idea what to say after Azriel’s obvious discomfort. Maybe he would assume you were asleep and leave you be, everything going back to normal once the sun was shining and everyone was fully rested.

Those prayers were squashed when you felt his footsteps come right behind you, a thud escaping from the sound of his knees meeting the hardwood. He gently rolled you onto your back, his hands being as gentle as always with grabbing your shoulder and waist to assist him. Now that he was moving you, there was no way you could fake sleep without it being obvious, so you slowly peeled your eyes open to look up at him.

His gaze was saddened as he took in your features, his hand coming to rest on your cheek as his brows furrowed, leaving a crease between his brows. You blinked a few times to clear the fog, eyebrows raising in question as he stared down at you. “Why are you on the floor, angel?” he whispered, finger grazing your cheek gently as he awaited your reply.

You took a few seconds to generate a response, teeth taking claim to your lower lip as you weighed out your response. His amber eyes watched your movement for a second before coming back up to meet your own.

“I. I thought you were upset or uncomfortable or- I just. I didn’t want to force you to share a bed with me.” coming out weakly, your voice scratchy and worn from the sudden awaking from your slumber. You felt embarrassed at the admission, slowly tearing your gaze from his to look beside you at the fire.

At the turn of your head, his fingers gently found your chin before making you look up at him. “Force me?” rushed past his lips in an astounded tone, his frown getting even deeper at the thought. “Angel, I don’t give a damn how upset I seem.. Never. Ever. make excuses for me if it affects your well-being.” he demanded, eyes not leaving yours as he continued. “I could never be upset with you, angel. Never” his voice started out strong, but by the end of his sentence his voice came out more strangled than you had ever heard him.

Scrunching your brows in even more confusion, you opened your mouth to reply but couldn’t muster up a reply. When your mouth gently closed again, Azriel began sliding his arms underneath you, quick to scoop you off of the floor.

“Az- wait. It’s fine. I was comfortable.” you rushed out, fighting his grip to go back to your spot on the thin blanket. A scoff left his lips as he rounded the bed, gently sitting you down before turning your chin to him once again. “Gods this is all my fault” he muttered to himself before backing away from you again, going to grab the pillow and blanket off of the floor before returning to your bedside.

He gently ushered you to the other side of the bed, between him and the wall, before tucking you in and making sure you were fully covered. Once he was satisfied, he lowered himself into the bed, covering himself before propping his head on his hand to look at you.

Feeling nervous, you slowly began to roll the opposite way, hating the way his eye contact affected you. His hand shot out to grab your wrist at your movements, gently pulling you back around to face him as he scooted closer to you.

“I’m sorry, angel. I didn’t mean to make you think I was upset with you.” he whispered, a serious concern taking over his features. Both of his hands came out to cup your face, his face so close to yours you could see the flecks of amber in his irises.

You pondered your response for a millisecond, deciding to just be honest. Wrapping your hands around his wrists, you admitted, “It just seemed like you were angry with me by the way you left the room. Its okay. We can just go to bed and talk about it tomorrow.” you offered, a slight smile taking over your lips in reassurance.

Azriel groaned, dropping his forehead to connect with your collarbone before letting out a pained “Fuck, angel. You’re killing me.”. He slowly lifted his gaze back up to you before a saddened look took over his features as he took you in. “You have no idea what you do to me, do you?” brushed past his lips as his thumbs rubbed soothing lines under your eyes.

Feeling a sudden wave of boldness, you let out a weak “show me, then.”, eyes staring deeply into his. You felt your heart rate pick up in anticipation, a flutter raising into your chest at the close proximity. At your words, Azriel let out a deep growl, hands sliding to the back of your head to lace into your hair. He cursed under his breath before exhaling, and the next thing you know his lips were on yours.

Azriel kissed you like a man starved. He craned your neck back for better access, kissing you deeper than before. His tongue invaded your mouth, your hands instinctively coming up to grip his t-shirt, eliciting another growl from him. As his kiss grew more desperate, you clung to him. A small throbbing began in your lower abdomen, a whine being pulled from your lips as Azriel ravished you.

He pulled back from you slightly, growling a quick “you have no idea how long I’ve needed this, baby.” before he pulled you back into him, one of his hands leaving your hair to graze down to your hip. Suddenly, he gripped your thigh, pulling it to rest over his hip before angling you to where he was slightly above you.

You moaned at the feeling of his length pressed against your core, his member already hardened from the short exchange. With a few thrusts of his hips, you were a whining mess, thoughts clouded and lips swollen from the intensity.

Just as he came down to kiss you again, a soft whine sound escaping from his throat as his dick grazed your center again, there was an overwhelming tug in your chest. A tug so tight and so intense it had you gasping at the feeling. Just when you thought your heart was about to explode, an invisible golden string appeared, tying you to the man above you.

“You- you’re. You’re my. My mate?” came from you in a rushed intensity, eyes flying open to meet Azriel’s piercing gaze.

“It’s about time you figured it out, baby.”