hey

Excerpt: “It seemed that the three years you had been gone hadn’t left you vacant from your neighbor’s memories. And although everyone remembered you, you couldn’t place the dark car that trailed behind the two of you as you jogged. It turned down a side road when you looked back at it and, even though it was out of sight, the hairs on the back of your neck didn’t lie flat. But it was gone, so you decided not to tell Yugyeom, despite the uneasy feeling that had settled in your stomach.”

Summary: Y/N is an up and coming model who is going through some hardships in her personal life. With someone close to her dying, she must travel with her ex-bodyguard and stay on good terms even when the past nags at her. What happens when she gets too close after a surprising lie? And is she actually safe even with a bodyguard?

A/N: Hearts are there to show time breaks

❤

“No.” Pausing, you cocked your head to the side, wondering if you had heard correctly.

“I’m sorry, sir, but did you say no?”

“Yes. I did. Your bodyguard is out of the country and I’m afraid we have no one to go with you to protect you. I’m terribly sorry, but I can’t allow you to go knowing you could be in danger.” Frustration bubbled up in your chest, leaving you ready to scream about how unfair it was that you couldn’t go see your dying grandmother. But, you managed to hold back, biting the inside of your lip as you nodded and stood from your chair. Just as you placed your hand on the doorknob to leave, your boss called out to you.

“Ms. Y/L/N, I’m sorry, but could I have a few more moments of your time?” Turning back around, you retraced your steps to the chair. “It seems I was too quick to dismiss your request. I do, in fact, have one person who could fill the role of your bodyguard while you’re away. I overlooked him due to the fact that he was supposed to attend a gala- never mind, I’m sure you have no interest in that. I apologize. If you so wish, you may go with our head of security. The two of you would be flying overnight to your destination and can take as long as needed, with the exception that that time does not exceed five weeks.”

Quickly, you accepted the offer, thanking him multiple times until he subtly dismissed you.

❤

Having spent most of the night packing, wringing your hands, unpacking and repacking, you weren’t surprised when you arrived at the airport later that same night nearly dead on your feet. You should have napped, but all you could do was worry. As soon as you arrived, an unnecessary hour before you were supposed to, you texted your manager to get details.

She quickly informed you that you would be escorted by Kim Yugyeom, the head of security at the company you worked under. Of course, she gave you a brief description of what he looked like, but you didn’t need it; You already knew him, although a couple of years had lapsed in the time since you had last seen him.

He wasn’t due to arrive for a while, so you allowed your self to drift off in your memories of him.

*When you had first entered the company, you had found it difficult to transition. You came from a moderate income household where you lived with your grandmother and an old tabby cat that seemed to live longer than any of your neighbors stayed. When you weren’t in school, you were helping her with chores. So you had gone from a simple routine to a loud, busy lifestyle over night.

Suddenly, you had a strict schedule, diet and work out times. By the time you made it back to your dorm, you collapsed onto your twin bed in the room you shared with three other girls.

You had been in the company for four months when someone set fire to your dorm. The police suspected a girl who had been sending threats to the company after she was rejected, but they didn’t have any evidence, so she wasn’t arrested. It was then that it was decided all models would have their own personal body guard.

You had been assigned Kim Yugyeom and you had gotten along with him- at first.

The problems began right before your first big photo shoot was released. It was your last session and Yugyeom had stepped out to make a call. You hadn’t even noticed until you were getting a touch up on your makeup. You could see the crew standing behind you through the mirror, gesturing towards you and snickering. They were far enough away that you couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you had a feeling you didn’t want to know anyway. Watching them made you uneasy and as you turned to tell Yugyeom, you realized he wasn’t there. You also realized you were in a room full of men, except for your stylist and makeup artist.

“I’ll be right back. I need to use the restroom.” She nodded absently, so you slipped from the chair and into the hallway.

Wondering the hallways, frustrated, you felt your stomach sink as a pair of footsteps followed you around every corner. Soon, you came to a dead end. Your heartbeat kicked as you spun around. Your exit was blocked by one of the men who had been heckling you. You tried to squeeze past, but instead found yourself pressed to the wall, his hands on your hips.

He leaned forward, lips ghosting over yours and a scream lodged itself in your throat. You whipped your head to the side just in time. His overly moist lips made landed on your cheek and his hand flew up to grip your chin. He turned your face to his and just as he leaned back in, Yugyeom called out for you.

The man backed off, reaching up to press a finger to his lips. “Better keep this between us. Unless you want something to happen to your friend out there.” He let go of you, taking several step back while his eyes stayed glued to you.

Yugyeom called out again and you scurried towards the sound of his voice. “What are you doing over here?” You murmured about a bathroom, keeping your eyes on his shoes. Your face burned with shame and embarrassment. A man who was nearly ten years older than you had touched you. You weren’t even legal. The thought made you want to curl into yourself and cry. As you gathered the courage to look up, the man walked by. He had a self satisfied smile painted over his features and you averted your eyes to Yugyeom, who was glancing between you and the man. Long after the man was gone, the two of you stood silently in the corridor, him staring intently at you while you stared just as intently at the ground.

“Come on.” He led you back to the room and stood to the side as you finished the shoot. As soon as it was over, you were by his side, ready to go home.

This seemed to concern him, “You don’t want to look at the picture?” You whispered about being tired. Just then, a roar of loud laughter sounded from behind you and tears began to gather in your eyes. Bowing your head, you led the way to the door, Yugyeom trailing behind. By the time you got to the car, it was like something had clicked in his brain and his whole demeanor changed. He was cold towards you, answering any questions curtly.

He thought you were dirty, degraded. The thought made you want to throw up. Because it was true. At 18, you were no longer innocent.

It had taken a long time for you to move on, to change the way you thought of yourself, but you did. The only one you couldn’t convince was Yugyeom. He was frigid, completely ignoring you if he felt that he didn’t have to answer. There was times where he acted like he did before the incident and you began to think you were finally repairing the rift that had split open between you, but then he’d suddenly shut down. This continued for nearly a year until he was promoted and in that time, you began to resent him.*

Of course, not all your memories of him were bad.

*He had been a great friend.

On bad days, the days you wanted to quit and go home or when you got yelled at for making a mistake, he was there to make sure you were okay. You could talk to him, or as more often than not- not. You could just sit there in silence, side by side as you stared at the wall.

Other times, he made sure you left your dorm.

One of the fondest memories you had of him was when he had shown up on your day off. The other girls were already gone, to photo shoots or whatever they had to do. You were still in bed, dressed in the clothes you had had on the day before from a mini shoot. You didn’t hear him unlock the front door, trapeze through your destroyed living room or curse loudly when he kicked the end of your bed. Actually, he had told you (complained excessively whenever you annoyed him or there was a pause in the conversation) that it had taken him ten minutes to wake you up. When he did manage to get you up, he had ordered you to dress comfortably and clunked his way back through the living room.

When you had finished changing, you found him staring into your fridge with his jaw on the floor.

“Are you okay?” You asked as you saddled up next to him.

“Absolutely not! Have you seen your fridge? It’s practically empty. How do you live like this? There’s no meat, no bread, no junk food. What do you even eat?” He turned to look at you, a less than pleased expression painted on his face.

“Well, we have high protein food, things with little or no calories and fruits. That’s mostly it, but we do have other things. Actually, I need to go to the store. It’s my turn to restock. We have to stay skinny- yes, no matter how much you don’t like it,” you headed him off as soon as you saw his jaw muscle jump. He had been nagging you to eat more. “We even do cleanses and stuff like that. Wheat grass, strawberry and lemon waters, stuff like that. Not so different from yours. Only difference is you can binge eat junk without consequences. Did you come over just to discuss what’s in my fridge?”

His eyes lit up. “No, I didn’t. You finally have a day off, so I knew you’d spend it locked up in here sleeping. As the amazing person I am, I came to force you to do something. You always complain that you don’t do anything other than work, so I’m going to make sure you have fun.” With that, he grabbed your wrist and the grocery list on the door and dragged you out of the dorm, despite your weak protests.

The two of you hopped on a bus to the store. During the ride, he made commentary on the other people on the bus as though he was a sports announcer. By the time you stepped of the bus, you were practically crying and he was rubbing his arm from where you had repeatedly punched him when he made a particularly loud joke. As soon as you reached the nearly empty store, he hopped into a cart.

“Yugyeom, what are you doing? You’re going to get us kicked out!” You whispered furiously as he turned to smile at you.

“Oh, hush. Push the cart. We’re not going to get in trouble, you big baby.” Exasperatedly, you pushed the cart down a aisle way. You must have been quite the sight; a small girl shoving along a cart that overflowed with a nearly grown man’s limbs. You could barely get it to move. Thankfully, it didn’t take long for you to get everything you needed and you checked out. The elderly woman who rung you up smiled fondly at you as Yugyeom tried to pull himself out. Instead, he face planted and embarrassedly ushered you from the store as you cackled.

Then, you dropped off the bags at your dorm and you were off again.

It seemed that Yugyeom’s idea of making you do things wasn’t as bad as you had thought it would be. He took you to an art museum, then a history one. Next was lunch, where he forced you to order something greasy. After that, you wondered around a used item store until the owner kicked you out to close. By then, the two of you realized you had missed the last bus, so you had to walk back to your dorm. Of course, somehow, that turned out amazing too. The sun was setting as you reached the Han River. You walked along it, avoiding joggers, couples and tourists.

The sight of the pink sky reflecting on the waters surface caused a tidal wave of guilt to wash over your stomach. You had taken up his entire day off so selfishly, not giving a second thought to the fact that he might have had better ways to spend it. You should have been more insistent on leaving earlier. Next to you, Yugyeom stopped to look out over the water. You backtracked to him.

“Do you know how to skip a rock?” He asked, turning his head to look at you.

“Yeah. There was a small pond near where we lived. I taught myself when I saw a group of kids doing it one day. I also taught my older brother. He never really was one for anything physical or outdoor-sy, but he did have a talent for skimming.” You smiled at the thought, missing the way Yugyeom stared at you silently. It wasn’t often that you talked about your home or family, so when you did, he made a point to listen intently without interrupting.

When you stopped speaking, he grabbed your hand and led you off the path to the water side. He stooped down and grabbed a handful of rocks, offering some to you. The two of you skipped rocks until you could no longer see the rocks on the water’s surface and were counting skips by listening for the splashes. After that, he walked you back to your dorm and bid you goodbye with a hair tousle and the promise of seeing you early the next morning.

That wasn’t the only time he sabotaged your days off and as bad as you felt for keeping him from his life, you couldn’t help the rush of excitement you felt when the front door swung open. You felt equally as stupid when he didn’t come for you and you were sat on the couch, bright and early, fully dressed.

You snapped out of you thoughts when someone plopped down in the chair next to yours. Sitting up, you glanced at the person next to you. There was no denying that you knew him; Yugyeom looked almost exactly the same. He had lost some of his baby fat that was replaced with hard muscle, his hair was blonde and he had grown a lot, but you could still tell it was him. For a second, you thought he was going to treat you coldly, but that was wiped away when he smiled at you.

“Hi, Y/N. Its been a while.” You smiled back, turning your body to face him.

“Yeah, it has. Like three years now? How have you been? I heard you got promoted to head of security last year.” You made small talk for a while until they called for boarding to begin and you were on the plane, his cologne drifting over to you from his spot next to you. It was the same one he had worn for years, the one you had bought him after telling him you couldn’t stand his preferred one.

“Okay, so I know this might be a sensitive topic, but I have no idea where or why we’re going.”

You hesitated, dropping your eyes to your lap before glancing back up. He was watching you waiting for an answer.

“It’s my grandma. She’s really sick. Well, she’s been sick for a long time, but recently it has gotten worse. Her doctor told her she wouldn’t make it to the end of the month. She was diagnosed the year before I came to Seoul, but she never told me what it was. Actually, she’s the reason I became a model. All of her friends were richer and liked to rub things in. My grandma wanted to be able to say “Look there! That’s my granddaughter. Yes, she is very successful.” I like to think I lived up to her expectations. I haven’t seen her since she dropped me off at the train station. I don’t remember what her smile looks like, not that she smiled a lot before I left. I just wish I had tried harder to go see her. It seemed every time I tried there was a new photo shoot, or a diet, or I was flying out of the country.“

You fell silent, worrying your hands in your lap. He didn’t say anything for a while. When he finally spoke, he was so quiet that you almost didn’t hear him.

“I think she’s proud of you, too.” Those simple words sent a fire spreading across your chest, but not a bad kind. It was more of like a comforting, reassuring one that was there to keep you going rather than to burn everything down.

❤

As soon as you stepped into the house, you were pulled into a rib busting hug by your younger cousin. “Y/N! I can’t believe you came and you brought someone with you.”

“Hey. I’ll tell you about that later. Where’s grandma?”

“In her room. She’s been very tired lately.” Nodding, you started down the hall to her room, pausing outside her door when Yugyeom followed close behind.

“What are you doing?” You asked scornfully.

“Your family is looking at me like they’re going to eat me. You’re not leaving me alone with them.” He was right. You could see all three of your cousins peering down the hallway at him, wearing various expressions that said the same thing; if they got him alone, he was a goner.

“Fine. Just be quiet.” He nodded, stepping into the room behind you.

“Hey, grandma.” You said gently, sitting on the bedside chair. The sight of her lying weakly in the bed made you heart squeeze. It contrasted so much with every memory that you had of her that you almost didn’t believe it was your grandma in the bad. Here eyes opened slowly, drifting to you.

“Hello, flower. It’s so good to see you.” Her voice was breathy, but somehow still managed to fill the room with a warmth only she could emit. “Oh, and who’s this?” She was squinting at Yugyeom, who stood at attention behind your shoulder. Her eyes held a bright twinkle when they turned back to you.

“Oh, sorry. This is Yugyeom, my-” Before you could finish, she gasped, hand flaying up to catch your.

“You’re married!” You nearly choked, eyes flying to where her fingers were twisting your ring. It was a simple band with a small diamond. Your right knuckle had swollen, so you had absently slid it on your left hand. Before you could deny it, she began to gush. “This is wonderful. I should have known with the way the two of you bickered at the door- the way your grandfather and I used too. And you’re such a lovely couple. No, not lovely. Exquisite!” She smiled, eyelids drooping from excitement.

“Thank you, ma’am. We’re going to step out so you can sleep now, but it was nice meeting you.” You turned to stare incredulously at Yugyeom, who had placed his hand s on your shoulders when he began to speak. He pulled you up from your chair and guided you from the room.

As soon as you deemed it safe, you wrenched yourself from his grip and whipped around angrily. “Kim Yug-” Once again, you were interrupted, this time by his hand covering your mouth. As you contemplated biting his hand, he nodded to the door.

Pulling in a deep breath, you spun around on your heel and marched to the door. Yugyeom trailed behind you, gently closing the door behind himself.

“Okay. Before you yell at me, let me explain.” He raised his hands in defense as you huffed, knowing that you preferred to skip straight to the yelling. “You said on the way here that you hadn’t seen her smile since she got sick right? I saw that smile and I also saw your face when it appeared. I know we’re not really friends and we don’t really know each other, but I don’t want to see you cry. We both know you would have if you’d have had to explain to her that we’re not actually married. I’m sorry if I crossed a line, but you looked distressed.”

Sighing, you ran a hand through your hair. On one side, you were lying, plain and simple. But on the other hand, your grandmother was happy and proud. You also knew that you couldn’t be the one to take that away from her, especially with her being as sick as she is. So, you pulled your eyes away from the ground to look at Yugyeom, who was staring anxiously at you. He looked almost like a little kid waiting for his mom to tell him if he could have a cookie, his lip caught between his teeth with wide eyes. You would have found it endearing if you weren’t still ever so slightly angry at him for putting you in this situation.

“Fine, but we can’t tell my cousins. They have mouths bigger than the ocean.”

He nodded, the tension in his shoulder dropping away. “Cool with me. That means they’ll back off and I won’t die on this trip. I also won’t have to put in for hazard pay because I got grouped by some overly excited women.”

You snickered. “Yeah, I’d go ahead and prepare to be grouped. Just stay close to me. They won’t do it if we’re in the same room. And speaking of same rooms, we’re married. That means they’ll expect us to share a room and a bed. And they’re going to be ready to see some couple-y things, so break out your romantic side, Kim. You’re going to need it.”

Smiling, he reached out a hand. You placed your hand in yours, his fingers curling around of your own. His hand was warm, but not sweaty. “Oh, get ready to be wooed. By the time this trip is over, you’re going to want to marry me. Let’s go so you can introduce me to your cousins, Sugar pie.” You cringed, watching in disgust as he cackled. “No? How about honey buns? Sweetheart? No?” You shook your head vigorously, wondering if his previous girlfriends had had to deal with the same thing.

“You’re right. We do need to go inside. I can see my cousins pressed against the window over your shoulder.” It was true; they were trying so hard to eavesdrop that their breath was fogging the glass.

“Okay, one more question. How much skin ship is too much?” His cheeks were dusted a light pink and his grip on your hand tightened as he spoke, but he kept eye contact with you. The question caught you off guard as you’d never had an actual relationship before and none of your friends had either.

“Um, if it makes you uncomfortable, don’t do it. I don’t really have any experience with dating. I’m very busy, so I never really put much effort into it.”  The thought made you laugh and Yugyeom looked at you as though you were insane. “Sorry, it’s just- I went from never having a boyfriend, never being asked out and never even being kissed to suddenly being married.”

“What? You’ve never been kissed? But, you’re… huh.” You waited for him to continue his sentence, but he just stood there quietly, his hand clamped around yours. The two of you remained that way as a black car rolled past slowly.

“Seriously, I think we should go inside. If they lean on that window anymore, it’ll break.” He agreed, walking slower to stay next to you. His long legs moved lazily towards the house and for a second, you agreed with your grandmother; The two of you would have made an exquisite couple.

“Hey, if we’re married, shouldn’t you have a ring, too?” He side eyed you, a smile spreading slowly across his face. He reached into the neck of his shirt and pulled a necklace out. On the chain was a ring, a simple golden band that had a couple of dings and scratches.

“It was my great grandfather’s. He gave it to my mother because she was so strong headed that he was sure she would be the one to propose to my father. He was wrong. My dad beat her to it by 2 days apparently. She gave it to me.” He slipped it off the necklace and onto his ring finger, careful not to let your hand go for even a second.

“Your mom sounds amazing.” He smiled again, turning his head to look down at you.“Yeah, she is. She’d love you.” Before you could respond, he opened the door and pulled you inside. Your cousins stood oh so casually in the kitchen, acting as though they hadn’t just had their faces pressed to the glass in curiosity. “Y/N, you didn’t tell us you were in a relationship! When did this happen?” Your oldest cousin, Eun, pounced on you as soon as she saw your hand in Yugyeom’s.

“Uh,” You glanced sideways at him. He nodded encouragingly, waiting for you to answer. “Well, we’ve known each other since I moved to Seoul. We worked together. Actually, he was my first body guard when I moved until he was promoted to security expert for the company. We stayed in touch and eventually, I asked him out. He’s very shy. But he was the one who asked me to marry him, so I guess we both did the work.” His hand shook in yours as he tried not to laugh. You were also struggling not to burst into laughter, but you hid it well with a wide smile as you turned to look up at Yugyeom.

Your cousins gasped, flying forward to look at the ring on your finger. They seemed a little disappointed with how small it was. It was clear that they expected more from you because you were a model, but you liked your ring. You had gotten it as a self treatment after the incident. Actually, Yugyeom had gone with you and had been the one who pointed it out.“You got married? Why didn’t you invite us? How big was the wedding?”

Yugyeom jumped in, “We decided to elope. The only ones there were us and our two witnesses.”

“And who were they?” You smirked up at him, teasing him for his lack of detail.

“Uh, I’m not entirely sure. I was too busy staring at my beautiful bride.” He gave you a sappy smile, wiggling his eyebrows. Your cousins sighed as though what he said was the most romantic thing they had ever heard. It would have been for you too, if you didn’t know that what he said was a lie.

“Okay, so what’s for dinner?” You asked, watching the way they scrambled back like you had suggested you were going to cook.

Hye grinned at you and said, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll whip something up. Did she tell you about the time she nearly burned down the house trying to figure out how to work the old stove?” She smiled maliciously when he shook his head. Motioning to the kitchen table, she sat down. He followed suit, pulling you along. By the time the two of you made it to the table, all the seats were taken. Smirking at you, he sat down, then tugged at your hand. You flew forward until he caught you by the waist and spun you around. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you down to sit on his lap. You could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks, warmth spreading through you as his chest pressed to your back.

As you sat there, trying to control your body temperature, your cousins took turns telling your cooking horror stories. He seemed to be enjoying the, his whole body shaking as he laughed. Occasionally, he’d bury his face against your shoulder, snorting into the fabric after a particularly funny and embarrassing tale. Mercifully, Hye declared the three of them had to start dinner.

After they got up, Yugyeom leaned forward and whispered, “I’m so glad I never let you cook.” His warm breath sent shivers through your body, the tips of your ears and neck turning red again.

Turning your head to where he had rested his chin on your shoulder, you whispered back defensively, “Hey, I’ve gotten a lot better! I take cooking classes now. And they over exaggerated! I didn’t burn all my hair off. I just singed a bit at the bottom and had to get a trim. It was barely noticeable.” He just hummed in agreement, nodding as he cut his eyes to you. The smirk he flashed you made you want to clip him on the back of his head. Instead, you got up- or at least, tried to. As soon as Yugyeom felt you move, he tightened his grip on you and shifted, assuming you were trying to get comfortable.

“We need to go get our bags from the car and get settled in.” He nodded, hands sliding down your sides to grip your hips. Heaving you into the air, he set you on your feet, which had been dangling embarrassingly far from the ground. You retrieved your bags in silence, broken only when Yugyeom muttered a ‘watch out’ and pressed you against the car when another came down the road. You led him back into the house and to your childhood room, where the two of you would be sleeping during your stay.

It was exactly how you remembered it; dusk pink walls, white curtains, a queen bed pushed against the far wall. Next to it, right in front of the window was a white desk, the top overflowing with notebooks, stray papers and shriveled flowers.

“Is this your old room?” You nodded, throwing your bag onto the bed. Dust flew up, filtering through the air to settle back in place. The only thing in the room that wasn’t dusty was the old rocking chair in the corner. Yugyeom stood next to you, head swiveling as he took everything in as well. “Is that you?” He was pointing to the other wall. It was covered in old photos that were peeling away from the wall. The one he was pointing to was of you, one of your favorites.

“Yeah. I used to dance. Not hip hop or anything. Classical, modern, tumbling. I won second place and at first I was so disappointed. But then my grandma and brother came down the aisle way, smiling as though I had won the world and everything was okay. They bought me that turntable as a surprise. I stopped dancing the year after.” The turntable was next to the bed, an old shelf holding your favorite vinyls.

“Does this still work?” He ran a finger along the edge, glancing over his shoulder to look at you.

“Uh, I have no idea. I haven’t used it since I moved.” You crossed the room, reaching up to grab one of the vinyls. You put it on and listened for a second. It took a second, but the sound came out just as clearly as if you had bought it yesterday.

“Do you still dance?”

“No, not really.” He turned to look at you, waiting for you continue. “I don’t really have time anymore. I loved it, though. My brother used to let me stand on his shoes while I practiced waltzing. He couldn’t dance, but that was fine. I made up for it. I miss dancing.” The two of you stood there, listening to the music. Before you knew it, Yugyeom had reached over and pulled you towards him. Grabbing your other hand, he held it in position.

“I have no idea what I’m doing. I never was one for these kinds of dances. You’ll have to teach me. Besides, didn’t you say I’d have to woo you?” He smiled down at you, watching as you ducked your head. It seemed everything he did made you blush. Reaching down with your other hand, you readjusted his grip on your waist and placed it on his shoulder.

“Okay, follow my lead. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3… Good. Now a bit faster.” You led him through the steps, ignoring the creak of the door opening to peek up at him. He was intently watching the way your feet moved between and around his. The song came to an end and someone cleared their throat from the doorway. You tried to pull away, but he held tight to your hand.

“Dinner’s ready.” Eun smirked at you from where she was leaning against the doorway. She turned around and the two of you followed her, your hand warm in his hold. You soon found yourself on his lap again, listening to stories of your grandma. You couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face. Maybe things weren’t all bad.

❤

You were, of course, wrong.

The rest of the night went smoothly. You had spent a couple of hours on your grandma’s bedside, reading to her and talking to her until your own eyes grew heavy. You and Yugyeom had settled down into the bed after shaking out the covers and sheets. You had fallen asleep fairly quickly, but Yugyeom stayed up a bit later to read. You woke up the next morning early, just as Yugyeom’s alarm went off. He groaned, rolling over to bury his face into your pillow. Reaching over him, you turned the shrill sound off. Wiping your eyes, you sat up. Yugyeom curled further onto his side, moving his head from your pillow to your lap as you tried to get out of the bed.

“Yugyeom, wake up. I gotta get up.” He whined, pushing into your stomach. You shoved at his shoulder, a squeak leaving you as he gripped your thighs and yanked you down so that you were lying on the bed. He whined again, throwing his legs over yours as he rolled over onto you. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he turned to press his nose along your neck.

“No… You’re warm and cuddly. Don’t go.” He pouted, something you felt rather than saw. Sighing, you wiggled under him.

“Yugyeom, we both have to get up. There’s a reason you had an alarm set for this early. What do you need to do?” Squeezing tighter, he shook his head.

“Nope. I’m stronger than you and if I want to stay in bed, you’re just gonna have to stay here with me.” He sounded smug, confident in the fact that he was bigger and stronger than you. Sighing, you wrapped your arms around his waist, feeling the way he snuggled closer to you sleepily. It took everything in you not to bust out laughing right there. After calming yourself down a bit, you made your move. As quickly as possible, you rocked to one side, then used the momentum of Yugyeom’s body to roll him over. In the process, you broke the hold he had on your waist and ended up straddling him. He stared up at you, mouth open as you stuck your tongue out at him. Leaning down, you let your face hover above his.

“The next time you claim to be stronger than someone you might want to have proof. Now, make sure you’re up by the time I get out of the bathroom. That should give you time to, ahem, calm down.” Sitting up, you waited for a fast comeback like ”Maybe I don’t want to calm down” or something similar, but instead, he continued to stare up at you. Deciding that the amount of time you had spent on top of him was inappropriate, you swung yourself off the bed, grabbed some work out clothes and headed to the bathroom.

Once you were in, you shut and locked the door behind you. Pressing your back to the door, you rubbed your hands over your face. The quiet rustling of clothes told you Yugyeom was up. Moving quickly, you pulled on your work out clothes, washed your face, and brushed your teeth. Pulling your hair back into a ponytail, you sighed, wondering how you had ended up straddling your fake husband in your grandmother’s house. It wasn’t what you had expected to be doing at 6 am and you really weren’t expecting the race of your heart when he looked up at you as your thighs sat on either side of his waist. The small ring on your finger burned, reminding you that everything he said and did was a lie, even in private.

Opening the door, you found yourself face to face- well, face to chest with Yugyeom, who dramatically huffed and gripped your hand. Dragging you to the kitchen, he whined, “Finally! Took you long enough.” You had thought the two of you would be the only ones awake, but Eun sat at the kitchen table, sipping coffee.

Wrinkling her nose as you came in, she asked, “Are you one of those couples who do those cute, couple-y work outs?”

Yugyeom grinned, watching as you leaned down to pull on your running shoes. “Yep. Beating her is good motivation.”

You snorted, “Oh, please. You wish you could beat me.” Standing, you smirked at him as he stepped closer, causing you to have to tilt your head back to see his smug face.

“Is that a challenge?”

“We can make it one.” You couldn’t help the competitive feeling from welling up in your stomach. That was one of you fatal flaws; you never were one to back down from a challenge.

“Okay, loser makes breakfast. Winner gets…”

“Kiss!” Eun whisper-shouted from the table, breaking both of you from your staring contest as you turned to look at her. You had actually forgot that she was in the room.

“Yeah. A kiss. That’s a great idea.” This time he was the one smirking at you. Shifting uncomfortably, you gulped. You knew you should back down, but there was a part of you that wanted to win, to beat him at something.

“Okay. You’re on.” He didn’t move, staring down at you as you quirked an eyebrow at him. “You gonna move or are you gonna stand there all day staring?” Smiling, he turned and trotted to the front door.

“So how far are we going to go?” He asked as the two of you stretched on the front lawn.

“I normally do 2 miles and then 2 miles back.” He nodded and the two of you lapsed into silence.

The two of you jogged the entire four miles, neither of you talking. At least, not to each other. Occasionally, you’d pass someone on the street and they’d call out to you. It seemed that the three years you had been gone hadn’t left you vacant from your neighbors’ memories. And although everyone remembered you, you couldn’t place the dark car that trailed behind the two of you as you jogged. It turned down a side road when you looked back at it and, even though it was out of sight, the hairs on the back of your neck didn’t lay flat. But it was gone, so you decided not to tell Yugyeom, despite the uneasy feeling that had settled in your stomach. By the time you arrived back at the house, you had barely began to break a sweat.

“I don’t think either of us lost. Who’s going to make breakfast?”

“We both will.” He opened the door and waited for you to walk in before following. Eun, Hye, and Jinho sat at the table, each of them staring at their phones. They looked up as you came in, eyebrows quirked. “Neither of us lost, so we’re both going to make breakfast.”

“After I shower. I didn’t last night and I feel gross.” Toeing your shoes off, you reached up to pull you hair from its ponytail. Heading down the hall, you listened to Yugyeom’s footsteps follow you to the bedroom. Gathering a pair of pajama shorts and a pull over sweater, you turned to find Yugyeom directly behind you. He stepped forward, all traces of his playful smile gone, and leaned forward to place his hands on either sides of the desk behind you. The edge of the desk dug into your lower back as you tipped your head back to meet his stare. “Hello, Yugyeom. Do you need something?”

“Yeah. I said neither of us lost, not neither of us won. We still get the reward.” Another step put his feet between yours and his thigh rubbing against the inside of yours. The tips of your ears burned, spreading down your neck to disappear under your shirt. It took you a second to find your voice, but when you spoke it came out stronger than you were expecting.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing you only agreed to that to convince Eun we’re married. Now move. I wasn’t kidding when I said I feel gross.” He didn’t say anything, eyes searching your face. Finally, he leaned down until you could feel his breath fan out over your face. You knew he couldn’t feel yours. You had stopped breathing a while ago. He bypassed your face and pressed his nose against your neck. It made you think back to earlier in the morning, when he had done the same thing in his more than half asleep state. This felt completely different, from the way his body was rubbing against yours to the way his lips pressed to your neck as he pulled in a deep breath.

“You smell fine to me. Like flowers and fresh cut grass. You sure know a lot of people who like to cut they’re grass at 6:30 in the morning. Not what I want to talk about right now, though.”

You spoke up when he didn’t continue. “What do you want to talk about?” He dragged the tip of his nose along the curve of you neck to your ear, your eyes drifting closed. You had to fight to keep your head from falling, but lost the same war with your mouth as his lips pressed a ghost like kiss to the skin under your ear.

“I don’t.” He pushed closer, something you had thought wouldn’t be possible. The air crackled with tension as neither of you moved or spoke. The only thing that broke the silence was Yugyeom snorting out a laugh. You weren’t expecting it, especially when his head fell to your shoulder and his body shook with laughter against yours. He was laughing at you. You could feel the embarrassment welling up in your stomach. He had led you on, done all those things and now he was laughing at you. He was going to pull back, look you in the face, make fun of you and you were probably going to cry. Actually, you were sure you could feel tears gathering in your eyes as he managed to control his laughter.

“This was not where we should have done this. The man who lives across the street is losing his mind and I think he just went inside to get his wife. I can’t breathe. I’m sorry. We’ll have to finish this later. I can’t focus on anything other than the way his face scrunched. He’s gonna press charges.” His ramblings launched him into another round of laughter and had you scrambling to look  over your shoulder. Yugyeom was right; the man who lived across the street, who you had known since you were four, had gone inside to get his wife and they were both shouting at you and Yugyeom from their lawn. They were shouting very different things, but both made you want to crawl into bed and never come back out. To say that you were embarrassed that someone you had known for nearly 20 years had caught you pinned to a desk while you waited for him to make a move was an understatement.

Groaning, you dropped your head, turning to bury it in Yugyeom’s shoulder so that you didn’t have to face him. He had gotten control of himself and leaned back to look at you. “Ugh, that’s so embarrassing. I’m never going to be able to look either of them in the eye.” Or you, for that matter.

“I can’t believe she’s on her front lawn, shouting at you to get some because she can’t. This is hilarious, but not the best timing. I wasn’t kidding. Once I can control my face, we’re going to continue this discussion.” He pulled back farther, the warmth of his body lingering against you. He smiled at you, one that seemed charming, but held something predatory behind it. Turning on his heel, he left you pressed to the desk and headed down the hall to the living room. You took a second to collect yourself. You listened to Eun and Jinho talking to Yugyeom while your heartbeat slowed to a somewhat acceptable pace. You couldn’t believe you had let that happen. Shaking the thoughts of the encounter from your head as best as you could, you picked up your clothes from where you had dropped them and slipped into the bathroom.

When you finished, you slid down the hallway in your socks, towel drying your hair. Yugyeom looked up as you came in, the look that flashed through his eyes making you glad you had taken a boiling shower. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you blush for the hundredth time that day. It was barely 8 am, but you were exhausted.

“Ugh, finally! Now you can make breakfast.” Hye exclaimed as you entered the room. You rolled your eyes at her, knowing she’d probably already eaten. Yugyeom stood from his chair and made his way to where you were standing. You stood there for a second before he smirked and placed his hands on you shoulders. Spinning you around, he led you into the kitchen. Neither of you spoke while you cooked, except to argue about how to do certain things. Mostly, you agreed, so you spent the time listening to the food cook and the small radio on the windowsill. The five of you ate, then migrated to the living room.

It was around that time that everything came crashing down around you.

Eun had excused herself a while ago to check on your grandmother, who was napping after breakfast. She came back, sniffling. When she pulled her eyes away from the ground, they were ready and glossy. Immediately, your stomach dropped and tears gathered in your own eyes. No one need her to say the words; you all knew that she was gone.

The next few hours were a blur of phone calls, planning and crying. The funeral was planned, everything paid for and someone was coming to pack the things that went to other people. The rest would be donated if it wasn’t claimed.

In the midst of the movement, you blocked everything out, dialing numbers and taking care of your grandmother’s estate. You called the lawyers, aunts, uncles and cousins. Never once did you pause, choosing instead to do even the tiniest of tasks like wiping down counters or stacking papers. You knew if you sat down, you weren’t going to stop the influx of emotions from overflowing. Finally, the sun was setting and everyone knew. Your cousins had piled up on the couch, tears pouring down their faces. Yugyeom sat on the chair opposite them, staring solemnly at the floor. He looked up when you walked in, but you kept your eyes down, choosing instead to troop down the hall to your room.

There you sat on the edge of your bed, head in your hands as you let the whirlwind of emotions overtake you. Tears spilled hotly over your cheeks and you struggled to pull in a breath. Your quiet, broken sobs masked the sound of Yugyeom’s footsteps, but you weren’t surprised when he was kneeling in front of you. He sat there for a while, just silently leaning his forehead against your knee as you cried.

Eventually, the tears stopped coming and you were left to paw at your itchy eyes.

“Hey,” Yugyeom whispered, rising from his no doubt uncomfortable position, “let’s go to sleep.” With that, he pulled you into a standing position and tugged you to the top of the bed. The two of you settled in, his arms wrapping around you naturally as though they always had. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep. You were exhausted, a headache raged behind your eyes and your chest was tight.

You weren’t destined to get much sleep; your dreams ran rampant with your grandmother and Yugyeom, both of them just beyond your reach. By the time you got to   them, they were transparent and when you reached out to touch them, your hand only found air. Waking up by yourself did nothing to qualm your fears.

❤

The next few days blurred together in a mush of tissues, crying and people. People overflowed the house, food overflowing the fridge and quiet whispers overflowed everywhere. Every time you turned around, there was another person who was sorry, another pie, another hand on your shoulder to comfort you. That was what you did. Comfort anyone who broke down. You had only allowed yourself that one night to grieve and then you had thrown yourself into helping everyone else.

Yugyeom was never too far away, trailing quietly behind you like a shadow. You supposed that was his job; to follow and protect. That was another thing you had yet to allow yourself to think about. As soon as you got back to Seoul, he was going to disappear.

Now, standing at the terminal waiting for your ride, you glanced over at him. He was busy on his phone. Just like he was stuck to you, his phone was stuck to his hand. You were beginning to wonder if you had ever seen him without it.

A honk tore your eyes from him to the sleek white car in front of you. Your company’s label was plastered on the side. Sliding into the back seat, you pulled your own phone from your jacket pocket. You had several texts from friends in Seoul, wanting to know where you were, if you were free Friday for their party. The answer was no and you doubted you ever would be. Partying was the life style of a model. They helped boost popularity and increase contacts, but more than anything, you hated them. Drunk people, sloppily trying to stay upright while maintaining a drink. You were looking forward to crawling into your bed and sleeping the rest of your life away.

It didn’t take long for you to arrive at your apartment. Bidding both Yugyeom and the driver, you noticed you got a more enthusiastic reply from the man behind the wheel than Yugyeom. He was too invested in his phone to even look up until you had slammed the door and were halfway to your doorman, who nodded politely and pulled open the door.

You fell into a routine as soon as you went back to work.

Wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, work out, shower, go to bed. Repeat for the next 5 months until your pattern was interrupted by a forced day off.

It was on this day off that everything changed.

You were in a pair of shorts and a tee, hair held back by a bandana. You were nearly finished deep cleaning your entire apartment when the door bell rang. This was one of the times that you cursed not having a peek hole. Not only could you not see who was at the door, but you had no idea who it could have been. You didn’t give your address to any of your friends.

Throwing open the door you were met with a bouquet of beautiful flowers, more specifically, your favorites, and a bright smile.

“I came to collect that reward.”