No, I don't have a life.

NEARLY because Shane Hollander catches her with his professional athlete reflexes. With no room to move on the crowded steps, he pulls her into a bridal carry like she weighs peanuts and twists and shuffles her to a seat. He places her down gently and gets on one knee to ask if she’s ok. She is truly swooning. Everyone in the stadium is swooning.

Shane rights himself and to his surprise a grown woman and girlfriend of his teammate is requesting “uppies”. He tries to laugh it off. Dr. Lisa Hayes announces “You guys are amateurs, watch this!”

She sprints up a couple of steps, turns, and jumps. Shane catches her immediately, but flops her into a fireman carry. He goes full captain about how unsafe this is and they should all know better. He puts Lisa down just as gently and she high-fives the new girl with no remorse.

Meanwhile, Ilya: Woohoo boys let's play some fucking hockey [Timber by Pitbull blasting at full volume]

Cliff Marleau, probably: Hollander's gonna kill you in cold blood, man.

Ilya: Cliff. Cliff let me look in your eyes when I say this. I know. I will enjoy it very much. My night ends the same whether I win or lose, Marley. Anyway. [Song switches to Party Rock Anthem] LET'S MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT BOYS. WOO

Cliff: Dude what is this playlist.

the dua lipa of it all

dr. ryland grace + crying

PROJECT HAIL MARY (2026) dir. by Christopher Miller & Phil Lord

+ bonus happy tears

Marcellus, the Giant Pacific Octopus 🤝🏻 Rocky, the Eridian Engineer

Lil illustration for a wonderful fic Change your win conditions