A time to......

Easter Sunday, means Christ has Risen!! Jesus is alive!

I want to go back to the day where I loved you like a child

over and over will I say, your love is the only way

Back to where I wanna be

Back to life if you'll take me

Back to hope

Back to what I know

Back to my home away from home

22/10/12: After the death of a loved one, you cannot help be haunted and plagued by the face of a lost one compared to whose face we should really be gazing upon always. 

Eyes closed.

Lids sealed.

Bright lights stand still.

Colors swirl and gather about.

For what will they make of this now?

Out of everything that could be made,

or any word that could be fathomed,

your face appeared safely sleeping,

your face was in my mind.

And your face with the wrinkles and the imperfection freaked me out,

because your face no longer functions in existence.

Your face as much as I would want to see;

has the ability to frighten me, 

the ability to sadden me, 

much to my dismay,

your face is what I see.

As my eyes close,

lids seal each day.

But what if your face was no longer what I see?

Not to forget.

Not to override.

For your face was a face of the past,

a face of time unspoken and time that went over us,

and Jesus face calls upon my eyes to fix.

To fix my gaze on his life and on his face,

for my future was not in your life or my life or in the life that has past,

but my future rests on hope on seeing His face.

A face like none other.

The face of God.

The face of my lover.

The face of saving grace.

The face of my Lord.

Eyes closed.

Lids sealed.

Bright lights stand still. 

Colours swirl and gather about,

but Christ will I set to see his face. 

For your face ,

was one I could not forget,

CASTING CROWNS; waiting for the night to fall (Their letter to the spiritual authorities, namely satan)

He knows you have the answers, but Truth lies dusty on your shelf And the sword that you could slay him with has become an ornament and nothing else You could put him back down in his hole in the ground, but he knows you never will Hes been around so long you got used to the smell

When you lose the people you love in tragic circumstances, there is always fallout. How do you deal with it?

FALLOUT

What happened, did it happen? what happened for this to happen...

Were we clear on the times of the long gone after?

For we stalled time as if it were another message in a bottle.

But it came like wind, uncontrolled by our desires.

And we all fell to the ground wondering what happened.

who got hurt, who got lost, who got what?

And we fall to our knees, praying for mercy,

as we await the time in doubt

For this is the fall out.

Did you hear? Do they know? What really happened?

For the time was dark but we could not see things clearly.

But could we foresee this time ?

where we would have to live, with ourselves, by ourselves?

To face the unnecessary consequences.

And we fell to the ground wondering what’s happening,

like the tide meets the shore, we are unsure,

like the moon in the daylight, we are unsure.

And we fall to our knees, praying for mercy,

as we await the time in doubt

for this is the fall out

And I know for me, this is not where I belong,

but you need to understand this is where I am now.

I'm caught in the continuum of joy in Christ and sadness in life

but ill always fall asking for mercy,

and I pray that others will know,

that fallout is necessary

for the event must have an impact, it needed to be ordained that way.

We cope not by our strength,

but the strength of a saviour,

hope in his steadfast love,

and his kindness for all us.

Wait.... steady...hold your breath

for fallout doesn’t finish yet

but it wont last forever.

For the struggle ends

and redemption will come

for the fall, to break the fall, reverse the fallout of the fall.

But we stand in the middle,

waiting and wondering,

caught in the fallout of world's brokenness,

seeing only a branch of your plan,

one day we will see how this all works out.

For now we see like a reflection,

but one day we will see perfection. 

...Steady steady the time needs to continue

and I have classes to attend.

For fallout happens at the worst time,

(As I deal with the grief of a loved one lost, I feel vulnerable)

Muster the soldiers, lets keep the fight,

for Father's Day in now in sight.

Prayer of peace, Prayers afar,

cause when day breaks, we will be going under.

For you left and celebration was,

a life let live and death cosmos,

And we burned you all you needed to the life to come;

paper dressed up as bills, insurance for the run.

Who would of known that the fight would only be?

Kept in secret, in sleep, perchance to dream.

For my body felt under control

of the wielding power and sovereign call 

Helplessly trying to wake myself up

cos you unfairly started this muck 

You strangled me using the ones I love, 

make trust broken settling above.

As I prayed to wake up and fight this mess,

I arrived into another world within sleep's chess.

My body was controlled to shake uncontrollably,

while I screamed out help so hurriedly.

My bones on each side ached from the pressure,

of fighting me and your dark power.

In fear I screamed,

In desperation I lost hope.

Because all this was to set me up in a hoax.

For in every tide, I sleep and wake,

remember you in the night's to stake.

Your weakness lies in your poor attempt,

to lose trust with those I worship.

For flesh and blood you could of gotten me at the day,

by night authorities seeped underneath as a I laid.

But in all this you fail to know,

the knowledge of you is what I extol.

The knowledge of God who in him I fear,

casting down my defences, in his strength I will revere.

For I woke up and I praised God's name another day.

Something you can't take away even for a small stay.

And I blocked all that happen that night,

reminding myself I am in the great light.

For protected child I am in Him,

Sleep and wake up I will always worship him.

For you terrify me, up and out,

Dopamine you fill me up with wonder and leave me ensnared

The moment I sleep or daydream, your presence I bear

I wake up wondering if reality matches well

of the feeling you release, feeling so swell

You fix my attentions on one man at a time

waiting, wondering, waiting, wondering, man aren't they fine?

Soaking my efforts, thoughts and attractions

because you released your wonder into my system 

And in every instance I think and think again

This is it, for sure, right from God's own pen

Oh dopamine how mischievous you are?

Creating memories which could did not happen at all 

filling up my brain, making a hormone fess  

Dopamine, you are my friend and neme-sis

So what happens when you leave? 

What will be left, nothing but grief

For you tricked me to be with this man you picked

focused my attention and I naturally, seeked

For the feeling you give is warm and all 

But what I seek is more?

warm and fuzzy feelings you give last but nil 

but character, conviction and commitment fits the bill

  Is  your character that which fits the fruits of the spirit? 

are you faithful, patient, loving and kindness lit?

Do you want to be more like Jesus in every sort of way? 

Even if that means God will call you a-bay?

Are you convinced Jesus is lord and saviour?

For this gospel will you keep, guard and bring a-far?

Can you keep a promise, can you commit? 

To possible, life-long, partnership

Will you commit to following Jesus even when its hard?

To suffer with joy, to be a job or Daniel, where life covers you in chard 

And will you always point me to Jesus even if it means I'll hate you more

And lead this team radically through in this post-fall 

And to me, will you be honest, tell me the truth?

Even if it means we will never reach a truce

because omission is dangerous 

and loyalty needs the bend

will you do this for me till the very end? 

All these questions, you need to answer 

for what I seek now with dopamine only brings me so far

for what it can give is hormones and feelings

but what is important is life long meddling 

Feelings go, life goes trailing along 

Just don't. 

The life I love promises kingdoms. 

Pleasure and its splendor,

for my own allegiance that it's already received

It says, bow down, like you are 

bow down again. 

I promise you this, 

just do what you are already doing

But, Jesus said no.

Jesus bowed down to God 

his allegiance he had every right to receive 

Whispered gentle tempers 

Tempting to the event he could avoid 

but Jesus he said, 'Satan, no more' 

What about you?

Do you say no?

Will your eyes ever be haughty again?

Fixed on the darkness and its pleasure?

Will your heart be invaded by moths and destroyed?

Where some can come and take it all away  

Or could these treasures last the heavenly forever .

  To lose your life is to gain 

to bow down and worship Jesus, the king 

But the life you love

bears its own allegiance 

saying bow down, worship me 

with knees bent towards Satan enough   

What is it to be a human?

Who can define what? Who can?

For the world, it normally functions in despair, 

troubling mortals aimlessly walking everywhere.

For humans compared to stars is but very small,

with moons and heavens and nature’s law. 

Yet. By the appointment of God we are,

mindful by the Lord over any and every star. 

Entrusted with authority to oversee all things, 

reflecting the glory and rule of God our creator.

Until...our forefathers became the traitor, 

ignored the rule and ruled with God-like. 

ruining the relationship like a harsh strike 

We were great because of our appointment, 

but we flushed our privileges to His disappointment.

Oh how I miss those days before,

where the now faults and imperfections wore.

Who will save us from our lack of humanity? 

To draw us near to God in human humility?

To redeem humanity to its former glory?

And complete God's act of salvation story?

He rules as the human we could never be