Listen / resd the lyrics to Sam Hunt's "House Party" and tell me that doesn't have Josh if error written all over it. Also consider this a joshifet prompt. :-)
Hey anon! So I’ve been considering this a Joshifer prompt for far too long now and have finally managed to get it done. Sticking to my new years resolution and getting this done! I kind of combined with another idea I’d given myself (the bit about chicken nuggets if you wanted to know) so I hope I’ve not deviated from the song too much! Thank you so much for sending this to me! I hope you like it! PS that song, and the video (it reminds me of Josh’s Treehouse, just me?) definitely do have Joshifer written alllll over it!
Unbeta’d as usual so all mistakes, also as usual, are nine mine.
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I’m bored. I’m bored but I don’t want to move and I definitely don’t want to leave the couch, never mind the house. I sigh, making my lips pout and vibrate against each other, the noise covering the argument on the TV. Not even Real Housewives is cutting it tonight. I want to doooo something.
“I’m borrrrred.” I text, and toss my phone to the couch cushion beside me, groaning as I stretch. I put the heels of my hands to my eyes, mostly for something to do. I’m not tired at all. I thought I would be, I thought I’d get home from working today and not want to even talk to anyone but it turns out I feel exactly the opposite. And there’s been only me in the house all night, talking to the walls, trying not to drink too much alone.
The screen lights up and I pounce on it.
“Should’ve came out then, little homebody.”
“I thought I’d be tired and go to bed. But I don’t wannaaaa.”
I puff a little laugh but worry that I might be coming across as a pathetic and very whiny school girl. I quickly send another message.
But I don’t want him to leave his friends early either. I send another.
“No hurry, don’t think that means come home for me… does saying that make me sound like I want you to come home for me? Please don’t. Stay out and have fun X”
I groan again and give myself an actual, physical shake. What is wrong with me? I’m fed up, I answer myself.
My phone flashes and doesn’t stop. He’s calling me now. Dammit, he’ll be leaving early. I feel so stupid. I should’ve just let him have -
“How bored are you?” He laughs. “You never pick up on the first ring.”
He laughs again and I smile, my defensive tone slipping. “How un-bored are you?”
I can hear him smirking and I know he senses the roll of my eyes and mocking wiggle of my head when I hear him chuckle again.
“Jen, how tired are you? Like seriously, are you a “Josh come home so we can chill together” bored, or a “I’m bouncing off the ceiling” bored?”
I snort and swing my legs up on to the sofa, bending them into me. “Second one. Definitely the second one.”
“Good. Don’t change, we only have like ten minutes.”
“What? What are you talking about? Don’t come home early, Josh, I’ll feel bad!”
“No, I’m not coming home early. We’re bringing the party to you!”
I hear the sounds of cheers around him and have to pull the phone a few inches from my ear as I wait for them to die. I grin and a jolt of anticipation runs through me. “You’re serious?”
“A hundred percent. Turn off the TV and get the speakers out. We’ll be there soon.”
“You’re an idiot,” I smile into the phone.
“I know,” he replies. “I love you too.”
“Don’t think that doesn’t mean you’re not clearing up in the morning. Your house -”
“Our house,” he corrects smugly. I can hear him and a bunch of other voices moving, the buzz of car engines. They’re on their way.
“Yeah well… this is your party, your idea… but yes, I do love you, you dork.”
I hang up and look at my clothes. A white button down shirt and some grey sweatpants from when I could no longer be bothered with my jeans, but didn’t want to get fully changed cause that meant I would be going to bed. I’ve long since showered and taken off my make-up, but my hair is dry at least. I shrug. He said keep what I’m wearing on, and I don’t care all that much anyway. I plug in the speakers and stick my iPod in. It’ll get changed no doubt within a half hour of people getting here so I just let it stay on shuffle. I stick some chips in a bowl and put it on the kitchen counter half-assed and decide we can just order pizza later. It’s been so long since we’ve had or been to a house party and I’m just checking that we have ice when I hear them pull up outside and I nearly burst with something resembling nerves, relief and/or excitement.
I’m dying. Actually dying.
No, this is worse. I think I’d rather be dead. I’ve never felt so bad, nothing has ever come close to this. I hate me.
I roll over slowly and oh so gingerly, feeling like a dead weight and as though my head is made of iron. Everything hurts. The room spins, even though my eyes are still shut. “Dammit,” I breathe gently.
He’s beside me and I scrunch an eye open only slightly to confirm it but keep excessive light away. Yup. He is still asleep yet he doesn’t look peaceful. He looks how I feel. God, what did we do last night?
In fact, I don’t even want to know right now. I close my eyes again and scrunch my nose as my stomach lurches. No. I will not puke. Slowly, I slide one leg then the other across the mattress and then lift my shoulders and ease the rest of my body over too as smoothly as I can. The roundabout doesn’t stop and I keep spinning - getting faster even - until I return to a speed I can bare with. I take my arm and gently place it over to where I know his torso will be, and lower my head to his shoulder with a sigh. And then I curl in close and wish for death.
“Mojrnfing,” Josh speaks groggily and I have no idea what words he attempted to speak.
“Mwhat?” I’m just as groggy and my voice sounds as gruff as sandpaper, my mouth as dry as a carpet in the Sahara.
He swallows and clears is throat but doesn’t move, his mouth still next to my ear and his chest pressed against my back. “Morn-ing.”
“Is it?” I ask, raising an eyebrow and then regretting my decision to move that much.
Josh laughs once and then inhales sharply.
“Oh Josh, please don’t puke on me. I can’t move if you do.”
“I won’t.” He presses his lips to the sweet spot under my ear. “You’re probably right. About it not being morning. I don’t want to look.”
A wave of nausea hits me and I feel disorientated again. For a moment I think it might be me running to go puke, but just like a wave trails away back to sea, it passes as I exhale. “Me neither.”
We stay like this for a few minutes, pressed together and silent but for our breaths and sighs and occasional moans as our heads pound. I know we need to get up and drink some water and take some kind of medication in a bid to make the awfulness of this hangover go away but I don’t think I have it in me to. My face is smooshed against the pillow and I’m pretty sure i can feel some dried in drool along my cheek. My hair is splayed everywhere and my sleep shorts are on backwards. I don’t have a top on, only my bra, and Josh is only in his boxers.
“Want to try and sit up?”
“Not really,” I mumble in a pitiful voice nothing like my own.
“I’ll make… I dunno what I’ll make, but I’ll make something.” Josh inhales sharply through his nose and rises. It takes him far longer than usual, and he sits on the edge of the bed a moment before he stands, but he has beaten me in making it to a non-horizontal position. I miss him against me and roll over to his side to take up his remaining warmth.
“Okay,” he speaks slowly. “It’s not as bad as I thought. You want anything?”
I give a tiny nod and then begin to open my eyes again now that I am facing away from the window. I vow not to close them this time. I let my mind reel through foods and drinks that I might want and then stop when I think of the only possible thing I could be after right now. “McDonalds,” I state firmly. “Cheese burger, fries, chicken nuggets… and a milkshake.”
“Strawberry,” we both say at the same time and I grin before sliding up to sit in bed. I watch Josh as he tosses on an old tee and some jeans quickly.
He pinches the bridge of his nose and scrunches his eyes, using his thumbs to rub away sleep from them before he comes back to me. “I won’t be long,” he says, his voice still all gravely and throaty. I nod and wind my fingers around the back of his neck past his ear as he gives me a sweet, but quick kiss.
“I promise to be out of bed for you coming home,” I say as we pull away and he makes for the door.
When he doesn’t make a joke about me staying in bed for him to join me I know he is very very hungover. And I know I am too because I didn’t even mean for him to be able to make that kind of joke.
I allow myself two more minutes in the safety of the bedcovers before I throw them back quickly and carefully swing my legs and myself out of bed. My head spins again and I stand frozen to regain my bearings. I reach first for Josh’s shirt and pull it on over my head. I kick off my sleep shorts and pull on some leggings - the right way around this time, I check three times.
I’m just pulling my hair up into a hair tie when I hear Josh pulling up. By the time he is back in our bedroom, I have put our discarded clothes into the laundry, started up the washer, made coffee and tidied our bedroom to make a cosy nest for the two of us hungover messes. I know we won’t be moving far from here today.
We unpack the brown paper bag, and get comfy on the bed again. We sigh as we sink on top of the duvet and against the pillows, my stomach flipping and growling at the same time. I bite into my burger and know that this is definitely the only thing that is going to cure me today.
“Do you have any idea what happened last night?” I say swallowing.
Josh frowns and finishes his bite too before speaking. “It’s…. hazy. There was wine… and champagne… I think we were dancing.”
I nod. “I remember champagne… Did I get us shots? Oh my God - I kept getting us shots of whisky!” I groan at myself and the mention of the poison now. Normally I’d take whisky no problem, but shots? And with champagne?
“Didn’t you break a glass as well?”
I laugh. “Probably, but I wouldn’t need to have drank anything for that.”
Josh laughs too with an agreeing bob of his head. “I think you were singing in the backyard. Like loudly…”
I feel my body chill and my face grow cold as I remember. “Did the police show up?”
I watch as Josh’s face turns to slightly guilty. “Noise complaint… I’d put the music on too loud… They were pretty reasonable though.”
I try to feel guilt but the severity of how hungover we are is definitely punishment enough and I can’t help but bursting out laughing when I catch Josh’s eye as he grins. We have one party and the police stop by. We’re lucky we didn’t get shut down.
We carry on eating ourselves back to health, and I feel myself getting sleepy again as I finish my burger and fries. I snuggle in close to Josh again and allow the steadiness of his breathing to lull me back to dosing as we watch some Friends reruns.
When I waken again, I do so with a start, my head shooting up and Josh starting at my sudden movements. He opens his mouth to ask but before he can, I mumble. “I forgot I still have chicken nuggets,” through a slack, sleepy mouth and wide but bleary eyes.
I see him smile widely and chuckle at me as I untangle myself from him. I sit up beside him again, though not quite straight and find my packet. They’re still fairly warm. I get through them at a steady pace, taking in some more of the room as I do. Josh has switched from Friends to some sports show. It’s late afternoon, the sun is fading again.
Crumpling the empty wrapper in my fist, I toss it to the end of the bed where it lands and then rolls right off. I roll my eyes and vow to get it later, just not now. I flop back down beside and a little on top of Josh and close my eyes once more, letting sleep overtake me in a matter of minutes.
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